Just a Little Crush (Crush #1) (2 page)

The air swooshed out of the room and the walls seemed to close in on me as I was taken back four years to the night it took me seven minutes to fall in love with him, and only seven seconds to fall out.

Ready to leave, I searched the crowd for Mason but found no sign of him. I looked back at Ryder and froze.

He was staring right at me.

I felt fifteen all over again.

It happened at a party where I didn’t belong, with a bottle spinning around like the wheel of destiny. I’d followed Ryder, a sophomore
and
the hottest guy in school, to the bathroom to get my first kiss. Which my fifteen-year-old brain was convinced meant only one thing…I’d be popular. Little did I know, not only would that night confirm my status as a never-gonna-be-cool kid, it would also haunt me throughout high school. Or more accurately, the boy on the other end of the kiss would.

The crowd cheered, snagging Ryder’s attention back to the kegstand. I’d known he attended Sutton, but had managed to avoid him for the entire first semester, even began to think I’d never see him again. But, of course, fate was cruel like that.

He brushed his dark hair from his eyes and laughed at something a girl said, then pulled the corner of his lip between his teeth. A flash of silver disappeared then reappeared as he released it. He ran his tongue over the small hoop then took a sip of beer.

“Brinley?”

I turned to Noah.

He glanced toward Ryder then back at me. “I asked if you wanted to take a walk. It’s kind of loud in here.”

A walk? No way. “You can’t leave your party. I’d feel bad stealing you away.” I smiled.

“I don’t mind. Anyway, this doesn’t exactly strike me as your scene.”

It wasn’t, but neither were late-night walks with guys I hardly knew nor wanted to get to know. “Um.” I glanced back to the spectacle in the kitchen. Keg Girl had been lowered and stumbled her way, giggling, to Ryder.

She slammed her body into his and he chuckled. Something stirred inside me and I couldn’t look away.

His chest seemed hard under her hands as she ran them down and then walked her pink-painted fingernails back up. Fisting a handful of his shirt, she pulled him forward and brought his mouth to hers. The little silver hoop vanished as she sucked his lip into her mouth.

My stomach rolled with frustration and a warm tingling spread over me as I watched his tongue work its way past her lips. What was wrong with me? I was like some psycho voyeur. Why couldn’t I just turn away?

His gaze flicked to me and the corners of his mouth curved into a grin.

My face heated and I turned so fast my drink dribbled down my arm.

Noah made a disgusted grunting sound.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill on you.” My cheeks still burned.

“You didn’t. It’s fine.” He glanced at Ryder. “Let’s walk.” That time it wasn’t a question. He placed his hand on my elbow and led me out of the kitchen.

Some stupid, desperate part of me had to look back.

The girl was still pressed to Ryder but his eyes were narrowed on something else. He lifted his gaze to mine then abruptly looked away.

Noah led me through the front door and right into a couple going at it. Was everyone getting some around here? I hoped he didn’t get any ideas.

He turned the corner and we stepped out a metal door with a red Exit sign. I cringed, expecting a fire alarm to go off, but nothing happened.

“It’s broken,” he said.

“Oh.” Apparently, even the rich-kid dorms had issues.

“Or ‘disabled’ may be more accurate. It’s where everyone sneaks in and out. Marcus in 3B is a techie. He hooked us up.”

The door slammed shut behind me.

“Dammit.” He glanced at the door. “It locks. We usually use the rock.” He pointed to a small boulder sitting near the door, along with a pile of cigarette butts.

I wasn’t convinced he was actually sorry he’d forgotten to prop it.

“Don’t worry, someone will come out for a smoke or we can walk to the front. Want to sit?” He gestured to the curb.

I glanced around, not liking the idea of being locked out. No one knew where we were. “Maybe we should knock and see if someone hears?”

“Let’s give it ten minutes. If no one comes, I’ll call my roommate to open the door.”

“Oh, yeah.” I didn’t even think about the phone. I could just call Mason. “Okay.”

Noah sat and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He tilted it toward me. “Want one?”

“No thanks.” The fact that he smoked made him even less attractive.

He flicked a lighter and his face illuminated. With a cigarette in his mouth, he tilted his head and raised the dancing flame.

I scrunched my nose, anticipating the odor, and he paused.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask if you minded.” He lowered the lighter.

“Oh, it’s fine.”

He laughed. “No, it’s not.” He slipped the cigarette back in the pack.

“Really, you can smoke if you want.”

“It’s cool.” He patted the curb next to where he sat.

I hugged myself and glanced around. I was being paranoid. Noah was a good guy.

I sat and tucked my knees to my chest. “It’s cold.”

He stretched his legs out and reached into his pocket. “Wanna sip?” He lifted a flask.

Who was this guy? Definitely not the cute-but-not-my
-type book nerd, I thought.

“It’s whiskey and will warm you right up.” He twisted the lid and tilted the bottle to his lips.

I
was
freezing but preferred not to warm myself with anything served in a flask.

“Here you go.” He handed me the metal bottle.

I sniffed then jerked it away.

“It’s warm going down.”

I swished the whiskey around. Maybe I could fake a sip just to indulge Noah.

The door screeched open and Ryder stepped out. He stared at me then at the flask in my hand.

He raised an eyebrow. “Locked out?” He kicked the rock into place then crossed his arms and, from my vantage point, towered over us. “Your friend’s looking for you.” He tilted his chin in my general direction.

“Oh. He is?” I handed the flask back to Noah and stood. I was happy to have an excuse to go inside, but couldn’t help but wonder if Ryder actually remembered me or just knew where to find Noah. Though we’d gone to high school together, it had been a year and a half since we’d last seen each other. If he did actually know who I was, I feared the only thing he’d remember was our disastrous kiss, but then again, he’d probably kissed a lot of girls in the last few years and had forgotten all about me…which was a good thing.

“Yeah, so you should get inside.” Ryder nodded toward the door.

But, of course, after that comment, some idiotic part of me didn’t want to go inside now, merely out of spite, and regardless of the fact I wanted to get away from Noah.

Noah stood, his arm brushing against mine. “She’ll go in when she’s ready.”

The corner of Ryder’s mouth quirked up. “She looks ready to me.”

“Hey.” A girl’s voice came from behind him. The blonde from earlier wrapped her arm around his waist and slipped under his arm. “There you are.”

Noah glared and tucked the flask into his pocket as he grumbled, “And now we see why.”

Ryder whispered something to the girl. She smiled, nodded and disappeared back the way she came.

So was this where guys brought girls to hook up? Had that been Noah’s intention? And why Ryder had been eager to help find me? Just clearing this area out for himself? I tried convincing myself that the feeling of annoyance settling over me was directed at Noah for bringing me here, but really it was Ryder who had me all frustrated. I had no reason to be, considering I had absolutely zero claim on the guy, but maybe that’s exactly what made me jealous. I’d never be the kind of girl he’d be interested in, and I was envious of the girl who was.

I hugged my arms to my sides. “Um. I’m going in.” I glanced at Noah. “Mason’s looking for me.”

Ryder leaned against the doorjamb, leaving me very little room to squeeze through. I waited for him to move. He smirked and it caused my heart to flip and flutter.

I was so not this girl. He was about to hook up with someone else. What was wrong with me?

Ryder.

Of course
he
was what was wrong with me. He always had been. I hated him. From his dark hair brushing over those green eyes to his kissable mouth stretching into that taunting smile.

Our bodies rubbed against each other as I slipped by and I swear he tensed. Or maybe it was me. Damn, he unnerved me. I moved quickly down the hall but a loud bang halted me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Ryder’s hand pressed against the door, blocking Noah.

Ryder said something I couldn’t quite make out.

Noah laughed humorlessly. “Prop the door. I need a smoke.”

“Hey, there you are.” Mason appeared in front of me. “I was looking for you.”

“Yeah. Ryder told me,” I answered.

Mason scrunched his face, his dark eyes clouded with confusion. “He did?”

“Yeah. I did.” Ryder was so close I jumped. He stomped past, apparently not planning on staying outside after all. “You should keep a better eye on your girl.”

“I’m not his girl,” I blurted. My face warmed.

Ryder looked amused. “Noted.” He opened the door to head back into the party, but paused and stared at Mason. “Regardless, bro, you don’t bring a girl like her to a party like this and leave her alone.” Ryder shifted his gaze, eyed me up and down, a slight look of disgust on his face, then shook his head and walked into Noah’s suite.

Embarrassment seared my cheeks. A girl like me? I spun on my heels and darted toward the building entrance. No matter how many years passed, to people like him I’d always just be the girl who didn’t belong.

“Brinley,” Mason yelled behind me. “Wait up.”

I rubbed my eyes, ensuring no tears had escaped, then turned.

He looked angry, probably mad Ryder had humiliated me…again. After all, it wouldn’t be a party if Ryder didn’t send me running for the nearest exit, swallowing back tears and clinging to my dignity.

“What were you doing outside with Noah?”

“He wanted to take a walk.”

“You shouldn’t have left the party.”

“Okay. I get it. Everyone made that clear. Stupid little me can’t take care of myself. Geez. Get over it.” I pushed through the exit.

“Shit,” Mason muttered. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. You aren’t stupid. I am. Ryder was right. I shouldn’t have left you.”

“I don’t want to talk about Ryder.” Eager to change the subject, I asked, “Did you at least hook up with that girl?”

“I made a mistake, okay?” He stomped farther ahead.

“I wasn’t saying that to be a bitch. I was really asking,” I murmured.

He spun, stopping me in my tracks. “Did Noah try anything?”

“No. Of course not. We weren’t even there long. Ryder came out right away.”

“Really? Huh.”

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.” He started walking again.

We reached our dorm and took the elevator up to my floor.

“Tell me, Mason. What are you thinking?”

“That it’s weird he went to find you.” The doors glided open and we exited.

“He just wanted to hook up out there. How long had you been looking when you asked for his help?”

We’d reached my room and I was glad to see no sock hanging from the knob. I was ready for bed.

“I didn’t.”

I stared at him. “Didn’t look long?”

“I didn’t ask for his help.”

“But he said—”

“I know what he said.”

So, why had he…?

Mason shook his head and his anger reappeared. “ ’Night, Brinley. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stormed off.

What was his problem? Maybe tonight stirred memories better forgotten for him as well. Though it didn’t seem fair he was taking his anger out on me. Never in a million years would I have imagined we’d run into Ryder at the party.

I watched Mason walk away, wondering if I should say something, then decided to just let it go and slipped inside my room.

I tugged off my sweater, leaving on the cami I’d worn underneath, and unbuttoned my jeans. I reached around for my phone, but my back pocket was empty. Shit. I shoved my hands into my front pockets. Nothing. I took off my jeans and searched the pockets better. Where had it gone? I carefully examined the floor.

“Crap,” I muttered. It had to have fallen out when I sat on the curb with Noah. I’d be lucky to find it at all now. It was probably long gone and I’d never be able to afford a new one. Really, this night couldn’t get any suckier.

I tossed and turned in bed in an attempt to get comfortable, begging for sleep to shut off my brain, which was now filled with memories from
that
night. It would always be one of those moments that, no matter how hard I tried to suppress it, would torture me. In vivid detail.

And it all started when that stupid bottle landed on me.

I was sitting next to Mason as he kept me entertained with his impersonation of my neighbor Ava, the birthday girl and my unwilling host. It involved lots of pretend hair flipping, eye rolling and overdramatized pouts. Though Mason was a part of this crowd, I loved that he saw her for what she really was. And best of all, he didn’t care what people thought about him, which is probably why he was kind enough to befriend me at the party, when no one else had.