Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (113 page)

“I didn’t send you a text before I went for a hike,” I lie. “And, how did you know I went for a hike?”

Joe laughs. “Hunter and Taylor communicate all of the time. You know that. Besides, when I got your text and you didn’t respond to my call, Hunter told me where you were.”

“What text are you talking about?” I search, wanting to play.

“The one saying you miss me,” Joe reminds.

“I didn’t send that text,” I fib. “Taylor must have gotten a hold of my phone and texted that he misses you.”

Dylan and Caesar snicker in the front seats.

“Really?” Joe muses.

“Yep,” I say. “I’ll be sure to tell him that you miss him too.”

“Did you call Kim?” Joe asks, changing the subject.

“Not yet,” I sigh.

“Emma,” he says with authority and concern laced together.

“I’m going to call her. I promised and I will,” I remind. “I just needed to get out for some fresh air.”

“How was the hike?” he checks.

“Good,” I reveal. “I feel better.”

“Good,” he comments.

There’s peaceful silence between us for a few moments. “I’ve got a call coming in. I’ll call you later, beautiful.”

“Okay,” I reply.

“I love you,” Joe says sweetly.

I don’t say anything.

“I miss you too, beautiful,” he adds.

“Yeah, yeah,” I brush off his comments.

Joe sighs.

“Miss you too,” I say quickly and then hang up the phone.

Shit. What the hell did I just do?

My phone rings again. I take a deep breath to calm myself and then press the button to answer it.

I hear Joe chuckling and I let out the breath I was holding.

“Love you. Miss you too. See you in three days,” he says with a definite smile to his voice.

“Mmm hmm,” I hum.

“I’ll call you later,” he reminds.

“Okay,” I reply.

The days while Joe is gone move slowly, much slower than I’d like. My routine has shifted and I’m more tired than I was before. Working out extra doesn’t help as a distraction or help me sleep better with the fatigue I’ve been feeling — I even nap in the afternoons. I call Kim while I eat lunch, scheduling an appointment with her at her office for early tomorrow; the same day Joe returns to California. I said I’d call her and make an appointment — even though Joe’s been hounding me each day. I just didn’t agree to how quickly I would do it.

Joe calls me just as I finish eating. “When are you seeing Kim?” he asks as soon as I answer.

“Hello to you too,” I return.

“Hi,” he says, letting out a large sigh. “Sorry, beautiful. It’s just been a little crazy here.”

“It’s okay,” I reply.

“How’s your day going so far?” he inquires.

“I see Kim tomorrow,” I inform, cutting to the chase.

“Good,” he answers, letting out a heavy breath. “I miss you.”

It takes me a few seconds to say, “I miss you too.”

“Mmmm,” he hums. “Now I feel much better.”

“Good,” I giggle.

“Shoot,” I’ve got to go, beautiful,” Joe informs.

“Okay,” I answer.

“I’ll call you later after dinner, okay?” he checks.

“Sure,” I reply.

“I love you,” he states sweetly. “Miss you.”

I take a deep breath. “Miss you, baby.”

Joe chuckles under his breath, happy to hear me call him something other than by his name. “Later, beautiful.”

“Later,” I reply tenderly.

In the afternoon, Sadie and I head over to visit with Nathan at Nathaniel’s, hoping to stretch our legs and to get out of the apartment for a while. It’s exciting to see the chaotic frenzy of energy in the shop. Nathan and I are in his office going over sketches for his upcoming line that will be shown to potential buyers while Denise and a few other staff members attend to the clients who made appointments to shop.

I’m really proud of Nathan and how far he’s come with his business. The people Mrs. Silkworth, Mr. Armani and Mrs. Covelli have put him in touch with have kept him out of the shop — in a good way. He’s freer to design while also conducting meetings with other designers and retailers who will be carrying pieces of his lines.

On top of his success, Nathan and Jared have been discussing what they’d like to do for their wedding. The rate at which Nathan’s popularity and demand are increasing, they can have any kind of a wedding they want — plus, I’ll be happy to chip in to pay for my boys on their special day.

By four, Nathan, Sadie and I head over to Santa Monica to meet up with Jared, Pop-Pop and Joanna. We take Joanna’s yoga class before we make our way over to Pop-Pops for dinner.

“I honestly don’t care when and where we have it,” Jared announces. “I just want the most important people in my life at the wedding.”

“Well, we need to give ourselves enough time with not just planning it, but scheduling stuff with Naturally Me and Nathaniel’s,” Nathan adds.

“I agree, babe,” Jared supports.

“Pick what type of weather and the general location and go from there,” Joanna suggests.

“That’s a good idea,” Nathan comments.

“Denise can handle things with the shop,” Pop-Pop states. “Plus, you can always hire more staff if needed.”

“That’s true,” Jared agrees.

“Same for Naturally Me,” I add. “That, or I don’t doubt some of our current staff wouldn’t mind helping . . . I’d gladly pay them extra for taking on more responsibility.”

“She’s got a point,” supports Pop-Pop. “With enough of a time frame, those who know in advance can help us get everything situated, scheduled and whatever else might need to be completed well in advance.”

As we eat dinner, the conversation continues on whether it should be a big or small wedding, what colors they’d want, if Nathan would be designing their suits, who should be in the bridal party for each side and so on. They even play fight about which one of them gets Maggie and me as bridesmaids.

“Boys,” I call.

“Yeah,
Kitten
?” they say at the same time.

“Unless one of you is wearing a dress, neither of you are a bride, therefore, there are no bridesmaids,” I explain.

“Well . . . that sucks,” Nathan pouts. “It would be weird having you and Maggie listed as groomsmen.”

“I don’t care,” I state. “I’d be happy to wear a suit too, if you’d like. I know that Maggie wouldn’t mind.”

“No,” Nathan objects. “I wouldn’t do that to you. You ladies look beautiful when you’re in your business suits, but I think you should be wearing dresses . . . you know . . . look pretty for your men.”

“Ha ha. Very funny,” I mock.

By the time I leave, I learn that Joanna has been more involved with the senior section of Naturally Me and is really taking a liking to it as well as getting some great feedback from our audience. Her classes have been consistently filled during the past month and she’s becoming more comfortable in front of the camera. Plus, Pop-Pop has announced that they’re moving in together. There hasn’t been mention of a wedding or engagement for them, but Joanna will be joining Pop-Pop at his apartment since her lease is up in the next month — I’m so happy for them.

Once home, I take a bath to relax, waiting for Joe to call or text, knowing he will even though we’ve already talked three times today.

When I get into bed after brushing my teeth, I see a text message from Joe. “Free to talk more. Miss you. XOXO.”

I write back, “Hey.”

“Hi,” he writes a few seconds later and then my phone vibrates from Joe’s incoming call.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Hi, beautiful. How was your day?” he says in the sexy voice.

My body tingles. “Good. You?”

“Good. Would have been better if you were around,” he shares.

I don’t reply even though my body is radiating the same feeling — I’m really missing him right now.

“I’ve been thinking about you too,” he chimes in, interrupting my delicious thoughts.

“I haven’t been . . .” I begin before he cuts me off.

“You just were,” he accuses. “I want you too. I miss you.”

I refrain from commenting.

“I can’t wait to see you,” he confesses.

A smile dances across my face.

“Am I going to do all the talking tonight?” he teases.

“No.” I disagree.

Joe laughs when I don’t say anything else. “So . . . what are you up to tonight?”

“B.O.B is waiting for me,” I cheerfully inform.

“Really?” Joe encourages for me to say more.

“Yeah . . .”

“Would B.O.B. mind if I listened in?” he searches wryly.

“Not sure,” I bait to see what he says.

Joe moans into the phone.

“But, it would make it hard for Master P to join in the fun,” I disclose.

“I’m sure between B.O.B. and me that you won’t need Master P,” Joe states.

“Really?” I muse.

“Mmm hmm,” Joe replies.

“What did you have in mind?” I investigate.

“Well . . . we’ve never done phone sex with each other,” Joe announces. “So . . . it would be another first for us.”

“That’s true,” I confirm with a giggle.

“And . . . it’s another first overall for me,” he shares.

“Me too,” I verify.

“So, what do you think, beautiful?” Joe inquires. “Phone sex three way with you, me and B.O.B.?”

“Okay,” I laugh, excited by the idea.

“Sounds like he doesn’t mind,” reports Joe two seconds after I turn on B.O.B..

“Nope,” I confirm.

Joe sits quietly on the phone as my moaning gains in volume until I hear a grunt make its way through the phone.

“What are you doing?” I say under my breath.

“The same,” he admits.

Wanting to tease him, I comment, “I didn’t know you had a B.O.B.”

“I don’t,” he rebuts. “But, if that’s what you want to call my left hand . . . that works for me.”

“Mmm hmm,” I moan my agreement, excited to know he’s touching himself.

“God, I want you,” he moans.

“Yeah?” I bait, wanting to hear more.

“I want to hear you cum,” Joe hums into my ear.

“Yeah?”

“I want to hear you cum, for me,” he says with the sexy voice.

“I’m so wet for you,” I announce.

“Taste yourself for me,” he instructs.

I hold the phone between my shoulder and ear as my fingers slip down into my sex. I guide them in and out several times, enjoying the stimulation. “Mmmmmm,” I hum when I suck on my fingers.

Joe groans. “God I miss the taste of your sweet pussy.”

I giggle, enjoying that he’s getting into talking dirty.

“I wish my face was buried between your legs right now, beautiful,” Joe states with a grunt.

“I wish your cock was fucking me right now,” I share. “Slipping in and out of my wet hole.”

“Fuck, baby,” Joe groans. “Can I watch? Switch to FaceTime.”

“Do you miss it?” I play.

“What?” he checks.

“My tight pussy wrapped around your cock?” I say, turning the phone and prop it on the nightstand so he can see me.

“Yes, baby,” he confirms. “Fuck . . . yes.”

“What are you going to do to me when you get home?” I ask.

“I’m going to tie you up,” he begins. “Then, I’ll slowly undress you.”

“Mmmm,” my throat hums as my free hand pinches my nipples.

“Then, I’ll blindfold you,” he shares. “That way you won’t know when and where my touch will be coming from.”

“Blindfolded, huh?” I say. “That’s . . . a new one.” My voice almost cracks at the thought as B.O.B. teases my nub.

“Mmm hmm,” Joe confirms.

“What else?” I explore.

“First,” he begins. “My tongue will lick every inch of your body.”

“Mmmmm.”

“Sometimes, I might nip at your skin,” he states. “Then, I’ll make my way down to my favorite spot and . . . part your wet lips with my tongue.”

“Mmmmm.”

“At first, I’ll go real slow,” he continues. “Making you beg me for more.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirms. “But, even though you’re begging . . . I won’t give it to you.”

I groan in protest.

Joe chuckles. “I’ll lick you. I’ll suck you. I’ll spread you wide with my fingers.”

My body trembles at the thought of what he would do to my sex.

“Then, I’ll get you really close,” he shares. “Get you
really
close to cumming . . . but, I won’t let you.”

A whimper escapes my lips as B.O.B. continues to tease me.

“Right when you can’t take it anymore and you’re begging me to finish you,” he describes. “I’ll flip you . . . so you’re kneeling above my head and make you ride my face until you cum.”

“Fuck,” I moan.

“Are you going to cum for me, beautiful?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I sigh. My toes curl and my back arches. “Mmmmm.”

“That’s it,” he coaxes. “Cum for me.”

“Mmmmm . . . yes . . .” I purr as my body complies.

“Cum for me, beautiful,” he begs. “Cum for me and I’ll cum for you.”

“Mmmmm . . . .”

The orgasm surges through my body and I do my best to curb the noises escaping my mouth by turning my face into the pillow.

“Fuck, Emma,” Joe grunts his release through the phone.

I don’t say anything other than make a few noises as my body convulses.

“Did you finish for me, baby?” he checks.

“Mmm hmm,” I whimper.

“That was hot,” Joe mentions with a snicker. “You’re hot.”

I giggle in reply.

“I didn’t know phone sex could be so erotic and fun,” he confesses.

“Me too.”

“The camera definitely helps,” he mentions.

“Yeah.”

“Another first for both of us,” Joe reminds.

“Another first,” I muse.

“God, I miss you,” he says with sweetness in his voice.

“I miss you,” I reply.

“Mmmmm,” he returns with a smirk. “I like hearing that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he confirms. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“Me too,” I agree.

“Get some sleep,” he politely instructs.

“Okay,” I mutter.

“Goodnight, beautiful. I love you. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you.”

“Goodnight, baby. Miss you too.”

The next morning, for as tired as I’ve been, I wake around five in the morning after having trouble sleeping through the night. After a light jog with Sadie, I eat and then get ready to see Kim. She’s not in her office the majority of the time since she and Peter have several different practitioners who work for them. Kim knows I’m fickle about who I’m willing to see, especially since being in the limelight from the premier. Taylor and I pull up to their office at the same time Kim and Jade arrive.

“Good morning,” we exchange, hugging and kissing each other before Kim unlocks the doors.

Jade bounces over to one of the couches with a book in hand and her backpack while I follow Kim to one of the rooms. The office is empty except for us — the facility doesn’t open until ten and it’s just eight in the morning now.

“So, what’s new? You aren’t due for a general health review for another few months,” Kim begins.

“I know,” I reply. “I’ve just been feeling a little tired lately which doesn’t make sense.”

“Any changes in your routine or diet?” Kim asks, opening my chart.

“No,” I answer. “I eat the same. On occasion I workout a little extra, but nothing too crazy. I’ve had some extra time with how Raven Media has progressed with Maggie at the helm and with Jared taking over Naturally Me.”

“How’s your sleep?” she asks, looking me over and inspecting my eyes, throat and pulse.

“Good,” I state. “Not the past few days, but overall, I’m sleeping more . . . averaging more like seven hours a night than my regular five.”

Kim smiles. “Joe’s been out of town, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“How often do you guys sleep together?” Kim asks like it’s a normal question.

“Do you mean sex? I don’t know if I want to share that,” I giggle.

“No,” Kim laughs. “I mean, how many nights a week are you both sleeping in the same bed?”

“Practically every night, except since he’s been back in New York,” I state. “Why?”

“Do you feel well rested when you wake up next to him?” she searches.

“Yeah.” I look at her speculatively.

“Good,” she remarks with a grin. “Don’t stop.”

“Why?”

“It’s good for you,” she informs. “Aside from the fact that you’re sleeping more, your vitals are stronger than they’ve been in the past. Your heart rate has been good, but it’s better. Looks like the work with Dr. Callahan has really paid off.”

I smile and nod.

Kim seems pleased. “Any other symptoms or things you’ve noticed other than the fatigue?” she inquires.

“No,” I reply honestly. “Is there anything specific that I should have looked for?

“Not particularly.” She hands me a cup. “Pee in this and I’ll get the stuff I need to do some blood work and a hair sample and we’ll meet back in here.”

“If my vitals are good, then why the tests?” I inspect nervously.

“It could be nothing,” she says calmly. “It could be that you just don’t know what to do with all your free time. I’d rather rule out a few things to make sure.”

“Make sure of what?” I ask.

“Just to make sure you’re not vitamin deficient or anything simple like that,” she states nonchalantly.

“Oh, okay.” I hop off the table and head into the bathroom.

When I return to the room, Kim is there already waiting for me. I hand her the cup and take a seat back on the examining table. Kim then takes a blood and hair sample.

“It’ll be a few minutes for some preliminary results,” she informs. “If nothing’s seen with this, I’ll send out samples of the blood and hair for further testing, but we should, if there’s anything, see something right away.”

“Okay,” I reply.

I sit, nervously waiting for Kim to return. Joe texts and we go back and forth a little.

“At Kim’s,” I inform. “Just waiting for preliminary results. Everything looks good so far.”

“Good,” Joe writes back. “Been in the air for an hour now.”

“Cool,” I respond.

“Can’t wait to see you, beautiful,” Joe texts. “I miss you . . . all of you.”

My nerves ease at his words. “Miss you.”

“Have a lot to do today?” he checks.

“Have a few things. Just waiting on what Kim says and then will go from there,” I answer.

“Okay,” Joe writes. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Okay, but I’m sure I’m fine,” I text.

“Ready for the long weekend?” Joe checks.

“Yes,” I confirm.

We’ve scheduled a getaway between Maggie, Henry, Jared, Nathan, Jimmy, Allen, Joe and me since Maggie’s belly has progressively gotten bigger. Soon, she won’t be able to do much, so this is our last major group getaway before she’s too big or ready to pop with the baby. I’m dying to know if it’s a boy or a girl — Maggie, not so much. My need for control would make me want to know as soon as I could. I don’t know why she would want to wait. From the sound of it when we talk, there’s a lot of preparation that needs to be done. Kim, Amy and I have been planning Maggie’s baby shower and my eyes keep glazing over each time I learn a few things about it — there’s no way I’d be able to handle all this baby stuff on my own — it’s frightening.

The door swinging open catches me off guard, making me jump a little.

“You okay?” Kim checks.

“Yeah,” I say. “Just lost in thought.”

“About what?” she asks casually.

“Maggie’s baby shower and all,” I reply. “My head is still spinning from the fact that she’s pregnant and all the baby information. It scares the crap out of me, and I’m not the one who’s pregnant.”

Kim gives me a peculiar look.

“What?” I inspect.

“Good news,” she answers. “You’re healthy.”

“Yay,” I sigh my relief. I start to hop off the table, but Kim’s facial expression changes. “What?”

Kim doesn’t say anything like she’s gauging me right now.

“What? What is it? You said that I’m healthy,” I say, starting to panic.

“You are,” she says tentatively.

“But?” I press.

“Sit down, Emma,” Kim directs firmly.

“I don’t like where this is going,” I state. “Tell me.”

“I think it would be better for you to sit down first,” Kim discloses.

“Kim, you’re freaking me out,” I comment. “What? What is it?”

A nervous smile spreads on her face as she steps closer to me. Kim takes my hands in hers. “You’re . . .” she begins.

“I’m . . . ?” I fish, trying to get her to just say what she has to share.

Kim doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “You’re pregnant.”

My eyes don’t blink and a nervous giggle brushes past my lips. “You’re funny.”

Kim squeezes my hands. “I’m not kidding, Emma.”

My lungs seize.

“Emma?” Kim calls. “Emma?”

I don’t answer as my eyes glaze over and focus on the wall over her shoulder.

“Emma, breathe,” Kim instructs.

My body begins to shake, the room begins to spin and I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“Emma,” Kim repeats, this time with her voice starting to sound funny. “Emma, breathe.”

In the next moment, my cheek stings and my lungs suck in a large gulp of air. My left hand clamps down around Kim’s fingers.

“Breathe, Emma,” Kim instructs. “Just Breathe.”

My body begins to convulse. “That’s not funny,” I declare.

“I’m not joking,” Kim answers.

Tears pour from my eyes. “No,” I gasp. “No.”

“Yes,” Kim confirms.

“No,” I gulp. “No . . . No. No. No. No. No.”

Kim surrounds me with her arms, trying to comfort me, I think.

I’m not sure how long I sit there with her as my head shakes in shock. Suddenly, I jolt off of the table and leave the room with Kim calling after me.

“Emma,” she says sternly, grabbing a hold of my arm just before I get to the front door. “I’m here for you. I won’t say anything.”

I try to smile and nod.

“Emma,” Jade calls.

“I’ve got to go, sweetie,” I tell Jade. “I’ll see you and mommy later. Okay?” I kiss her.

“Okay,” she replies. “Bye.”

My eyes stay glued to the ground as I walk outside and head for the car. Taylor opens the back door for me, but I don’t look up at him. When he gets behind the driver seat, he sits and waits.

“Everything okay, Emma?” he asks nervously.

“Fine,” I snap.

“Where are we going?” he inspects.

“Back home,” I instruct.

“Sure thing,” he answers.

Neither of us speak for the entire time. When I get inside, I lock the door behind me and slump to the ground, petting Sadie as she whimpers. The tears flow as a myriad of emotions explode inside me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

At some point, my phone vibrating shakes me from my stupor. When I look to see who it is, nausea rises inside and I rush to the bathroom. My body forces out all contents that reside in my stomach. Sweat beads along my forehead and neck as the room temperature drastically escalates to that of a sauna. I remain on the cool floor while a billion thoughts race through my mind.

Panic rises, so I text Kim. “Is it normal that my body just expelled everything from my stomach?”

“Yes,” Kim returns instantly. “Nausea is normal for some women, but in your case, it’s probably nerves. Drink some water and have a few crackers. Try some peppermint tea and when the feeling subsides, eat a snack. If morning sickness continues, use ginger root.”

“Thanks,” I write back.

“You’re welcome,” Kim texts. “Call or text anytime. I’m here for you, Emma.”

“Thanks. Love you,” I send.

“Love you,” she returns. “Everything will be fine. I want to see you again in the office, sooner than later.”

“Why?” I reply.

“To see how you are and to discuss the matter,” she informs.

“What’s to discuss?” I write back, not understanding.

“There are choices and options, Emma,” she sends. “If you don’t want to continue with the pregnancy and all.”

My heart stops for a second. For all of the emotions and thoughts, I never once thought about ending the pregnancy.

“I need some time,” I write back.

“I understand. We can revisit this in a week or two,” she writes. “I’ll have the full results of your blood work and hair sample when you’re ready.”

“Thank you, Kim,” I reply.

Kim sends back a smiley-emoji and our conversation ends.

My hand lowers to my side as I try to wrap my head around everything. The nasty taste of vomit in my mouth forces me to get up and brush my teeth. I follow her instructions of getting a drink and eating some crackers and I feel better right away.

My phone vibrates on the counter and I hesitate to look at it. Joe texts, saying he’s free and to call anytime with his estimated time of arrival at the airport to be in just a couple of hours. Shit. What am I going to say? What am I going to do? He’s going to know something’s up.

After about five minutes, I write back to Joe, letting him know that the appointment with Kim was fine and that I’m healthy. Scared to see him anytime soon and expose that I’m — not me — I inform him that Kim encouraged me to visit the spa. Joe thinks it’s a great idea and said he can’t wait to see me afterward.

I rush to my bedroom to pack a bag. After double checking a few of the spas I like in Southern California, I choose one that is an overnight facility, hoping to give myself more time before I see Joe. The best part about the place where I’m going to
relax
is that it’s women only week - meaning no men allowed — unless they’re a masseuse or a health practitioner.

Thirty minutes later, Taylor and Caesar are in the front seat with me in the back. We drop Sadie off with Anna and I text Joe to let him know that I’m staying over at the spa, really wanting to have some extra time. He offers to meet me there, but I mention that the place I chose is, unfortunately, having their women only week. Joe sounds disappointed at the idea of not being able to see me, but says he understands and can’t wait to see me tomorrow. Once I get off the phone, Taylor is not happy with the fact that I had
forgotten
to inform him of the overnight plans and that they would not be able to be on location with me. He tries to argue, but I won't hear it.

Once I get checked into the spa, Taylor leaves Caesar in the lobby while he drives to meet up with Dylan to pick up their bags. They made arrangements to stay at a nearby hotel. I’m immediately escorted to my room.

While planning my options, there is a disclosure about being pregnant for certain massages. I text Kim and she’s quick to respond to my questions. Apparently, there are myths about pregnant women receiving a massage, but she informs me that all massages are primarily safe and to only instruct the masseuse to not focus on my pelvic region since I’m most likely in my first trimester. The only other thing she shares is that I can’t use saunas — saunas are one of my favorite things.

For the rest of the day, I leave my phone in my room and allow myself to be pampered. There are several times I forget about everything and then there are other times when I find myself very emotional. In the comfort of my own room, I look online to see what I can find about the tapping techniques Dr. Callahan showed me to see if they’ll help — the few of the sequences I do help a little, but I’ll need to check the instructions that I have back at home. I finally text Joe that I’m done with my elected daily activities and just waiting on dinner to be delivered to my room.

My phone rings five seconds later. “Hey, beautiful,” Joe greets with a smile to his words.

“Hey, you,” I return.

“You okay?” he checks.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Much better.”

“Good,” he replies. “God, I miss you.”

My throat stings and my eyes become watery. “I miss you too, b . . . .” I was about to call him
baby
, but fall short when reality kicks in.

“What’s wrong?” Joe searches.

“Nothing,” I downplay it. “I thought I heard a knock at the door. How was the trip?”

I’m not sure why I’m asking since we've talked every day and I know how his meetings have gone.

“Good,” he replies. “The plane didn’t fly fast enough.”