Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (29 page)

“Oh yeah, were you planning on wearing your red cardigan?” Maggie faces me, but her eyes bounce between Joe and me in the mirror.

“No. Why? Did you want to?” I nonchalantly continue as if it’s just me and her in the room.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all. It’s in my bag,” I instruct.

“Thanks, sweetie,” she says leaving the bathroom.

As I put some chapstick on, I hear her shouting
thanks again
followed by a door closing.

Leaving the bathroom, I stop just before bumping into Joe. It takes him a second to realize that I’m waiting to get by him. I take my time at my suitcase to determine what to wear as I put my makeup bag away. I select a white tank top, a pair of white capris, and a thin, tan v-neck silk blouse. Grabbing my pants, I turn to find Joe sitting on the chaise reading. Bending down to place a foot into each pant leg, I look up when I hear Joe clear his voice. Gradually pulling up my pants, I stare at him. I gain his attention right as I’m rounding my hips. His eyes jump from my hands, to my breasts and then to my face before darting away, realizing he got caught. Smirking, I pick up my tank top and slip it on, keeping my back to him. I momentarily return to the bathroom to inspect myself in the mirror, put on some earrings and a necklace and run my fingers through my hair.

I set my pajamas in my clothing bag next to the dresser. Grabbing my white flats from my shoe bag, I place them next to the bed for easy access. I check my purse to make sure I have everything in there including Sadie’s stuff for when we leave. My phone is still charged and there are no messages or emails that need to be tended. I slip on my blouse before sitting down on the bed to put on my shoes. Sadie rests her head on my leg, causing me to pay attention to her rather than finish dressing.

“You okay?” Joe’s sweet voice asks.

Not turning to look, I answer, “Yeah, why?”

“Just checking.” Standing next to me now, Joe reaches his hand towards me, “Come on.”

I’m uncertain at first to take his hand, but do it anyway.

Joe pulls me into him, resting his right hand on my hip and his left on my face. He studies me carefully. Joe doesn’t push like he did last night in the kitchen.

Something is different. I’m guessing that my morning incident has something to do with it. I’ve probably scared him off enough now where he just pities me — I hate pity from anyone. This is probably for the best — better Joe finds out now that I’m too messed up to be in any kind of relationship and why I avoid them. He can save himself from me and my demons. Yes, this is for the best.

My friends and I casually stroll the streets of Pasadena enjoying the beautiful, spring weather. Our conversations are light and airy, however, I remain less chatty. The amount of walking helps with my agitation, but it’s not as impactful as rebounding or sex.

Jared stays close to me no matter where we go, holding onto my hand or draping his arm over my shoulders while keeping Nathan close as well. If at any point Jared and I break apart, Maggie connects with me, spreading her cheery, sunshine energy.

I made sure when we left Joe’s, that I had Sadie wear her service dog vest. Without having to think about it, we’re all able to go into any place of business. Allen and Jimmy seem fascinated by my reasoning and the use of the vest when I explained it to them during lunch at my favorite local Thai restaurant.

At some point, Jimmy and Allen ask about Nathaniel’s and express their desire to see his collection. Instead of dealing with Saturday LA traffic, Nathan calls Denise to put two racks together, one men’s and one women’s, and to have them brought over to the penthouse for an impromptu fashion show.

After we finish lunch, we meet up with Anna just outside of Joe’s penthouse building for her to take Sadie. My friends and I continue on foot to the Pasadena Playhouse for the two o’clock showing of Pygmalion. Maggie and I share a subscription which includes tickets to certain shows and a discount on any additional tickets we need. I’m actually surprised that we were able to get a few extra seats last minute for everyone to attend.

A few minutes into the second act, I feel something touch my left hand. Glancing down, I notice Joe’s fingers inching their way up the side of the armrest and I don’t pull away. In fact, I’m shocked when my hand slides closer to his. We sit for the remainder of the performance with just our pinky and ring fingers laced.

After the play, Denise arrives at Joe’s penthouse at the same time we do. Joe invites her to stay for dinner as Jimmy and Allen inspect Nathan’s men’s line, however, Denise politely declines saying she’s made dinner plans with her girlfriend.

Jimmy and Allen start picking out outfits for themselves to put on. They request Henry and Joe to try on a few items, but the sizes Denise brought are a little small for Joe’s more pronounced muscular size. By the time they’ve seen everything on the first rack, Jimmy and Allen announce that they want every piece and get out their checkbooks.

Moving on to the second rack, Jimmy realizes that all of the clothes are for women. He adamantly encourages Maggie and I to model. I willingly try on every piece that Maggie doesn’t select. Trying on new clothes always makes a girl feel better — well, at least me.

“Put this on next,” Jimmy demands, shoving a tiny bikini at me.

“No,” I contend with a polite smile.

“Why not? It’ll look great on you.”

“It’s too small,” I object.

He holds the bottom piece up to my backside as if he doesn’t believe me. “No, it’s not.”

I take the small triangular piece and place it over my breasts. “See.”

“It’s not that bad. Put it on.”

“Yeah, put it on, Emma,” Nathan chimes in.

Rolling my eyes, I take the swimsuit and head into the bedroom after Maggie. Moments like these are when I’m glad that I’m completely comfortable with my own body, even when it’s that time of the month. I let Maggie go out to the living room first to hide my overly exposed flesh. The room goes completely silent when I’m seen followed by several whistles.

“Damn, Emma. You are smokin’!” announces Jimmy.

Not wanting the attention and stares, I try to flee.

Allen cuts me off, “Where are you going?”

“You’ve seen the suit. I’m going to change.”

“No way. I want to look at it,” he argues.

“Fine,” I whine. Standing there, I keep my eyes on the floor.

“What’s this?” Jimmy questions touching my lower, back right hip, directly at the bathing suit line.

“What?” I ask, inspecting the area he’s referring to, hoping I didn’t snag the fabric on something.

“This,” he points.

Seeing what he’s talking about, I immediately slap my hand over it. “Nothing.”

“That’s not nothing,” Jimmy contends.

“What is it?” Allen fishes.

“Nothing,” I reply, covering it and stepping away from them.

“Well, I think that’s it for the women’s line,” Jared interjects, jumping to my rescue.

“No, it’s not,” Jimmy defends. “There are still about ten garments.”

“I can wear them all,” Maggie offers.

“That’ll work,” Allen agrees, sensing the tension between Jared, Maggie and myself.

Maggie and I return to change. She puts on the next outfit as I put my daily attire back on. I join Jared on the couch as Jimmy and Allen
oo
o
and
ahh
over the items Maggie wears until there’s nothing left.

Denise leaves with one rack completely empty, making her trip down to the car easier. Jimmy and Allen actually bought the entire men’s rack. However, Denise did take Joe’s measurements for some options that Nathan plans on bringing to Hawaii for him to try. I assist Denise on the way down to her car since Sadie was just fed and needs to be taken out.

We sit down for dinner not long after I return to the penthouse with Sadie. The excitement and anticipation of our upcoming trip to Hawaii is the main focus for the rest of the evening.

At one point, Maggie mentions to Henry, “Honey, we should probably give everyone their plane tickets this weekend.”

“We don’t need plane tickets, sweetie,” Jimmy answers as Henry swallows a bite of food.

“Are we taking a boat?” Maggie continues.

“No, sweetheart. We’re taking the jet,” Henry reassures, wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin.

“It can fit all of us?” she questions.

“Ours can,” Jimmy mentions.

“Well, how does that work?” Jared inquires.

I’m glad Jared asks this question. I’ve never flown let alone have been to an airport.

“We tell our pilot where we want to go and when we want to leave. He and the crew prep the plane. We drive right up to get on it at the private airport and take off,” Jimmy explains.

“No TSA or baggage check?” Nathan verifies.

“Exactly,” confirms Allen.

“I could easily get spoiled flying privately,” Jared adds. “Looks like I need to find myself a Sugar Daddy.”

Smacking him on the arm, Nathan rebuts, “I’m your Sugar Daddy. Don’t you forget it.”

Everyone snickers.

“Then you need to be selling a hell of a lot more clothes to be taking me on trips with our own private plane,” Jared teases.

To me, their behavior and words are indicating that their relationship has progressed significantly.

“Something you want to tell me?” I whisper in Jared’s ear.

My answer is a wicked grin with the look of love in his eyes. Looks like the love bug has officially bitten both of my friends. Damn Nǎinai and her blessings.

Like last night, we all change into our pajamas before hoping on the couch. Everyone decides to conserve their energy for jumping tomorrow after hearing some of the stories that have been shared while a few games of pool are played before resolving to watch a movie. We all sit in the same spots as we did last night, but this time I angle my feet down the middle of the couch, resting my head on Sadie who is practically on Jared’s lap. Joe grabs a blanket before sitting where my feet are which forces me to bend my knees. He places my legs over his lap before covering us both with the blanket.

After a while, I lift the blanket up to my shoulders and rest my hands on my stomach. A few minutes later, Joe walks his fingers up the side of my body and interlocks them with mine. Changing my attention from the movie to him, I watch Joe as our fingers dance around each others. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn’t get freaked out by this morning.

By around ten, everyone retires to their designated rooms for the night. At first, Jared and Nathan are insistent about sleeping with me in Joe’s bed, but I decline. I have to reassure them several times that I am fine and will be.

Despite the emotional exhaustion from today, I can’t sleep after laying under the covers for forty minutes. I try reading, but that just wakes me up more. I consider jumping on Joe’s rebounder, but I don’t want to get all sweaty and have to shower. The thought to snoop around his room seems like a great idea. Remembering how much clothing I saw that Joe has in his closet makes me ponder why he needs a dresser in the bedroom. My curiosity gets the better of me so I go over to check. I cautiously open and close each draw to minimize being heard. All of the drawers are empty.

With not much to go off of in his room, I creep down the hallway to see if I can find anything in the living room that I might have missed. I almost jump out of my skin when I hear a whisper halfway down the hall.

Turning, I see Joe in the doorway of the den. “Hi,” I mumble softly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah . . . .” I return quietly.

Examining me, Joe prods, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He gestures for me to join him in the den and for some reason I follow. Joe sits next to Sadie who is now laying on what looks like a bed.

“Is that what you are sleeping on?” I ask.

“Yes, why?”

“It looks uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that bad,” he offers.

I sit down on his bed, using Sadie as a barrier between us. It’s small and looks nice, but as soon as my butt hits the cushion, I know it’s not that comfortable, not compared to his bed.

“You’re sleeping on this?”

“Yes, why?”

“You’ve got a glorious, and probably overly priced king size bed in your room and you’re sleeping on this?”

Chuckling, “You’re sleeping on it.”

“If I knew you were going to be on this last night, I would have insisted that you sleep in your own bed.”

“So that’s what this is,” he says with a widening grin.

“What what is?”

I’m not sure what he’s alluding.

“It’s okay, you can say it.”

“Say what? What are you talking about?”

I’m completely clueless. What are we talking about?

“If you want me to sleep with you, you just have to ask.”

I shoot up to a standing position at his brazen statement.. “Sleep with you, I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“I don’t mind. I’m actually flattered that you’re admitting it and that you remember,” he teases.

“What? Huh? No. No. No. No. No,” I contend as he steps towards me. “I don’t want to sleep with you,” my voice cracks even in a whisper. “I . . .” Backing away, I shake my head as Joe approaches. My body bangs into something behind me. I’m stuck between him and the door. “Remember what?”

“You didn’t have trouble sleeping that night,” he calmly states as our bodies touch. “Neither did I.”

What is he . . . oh! Crap. He’s right. I remember now.

“No,” I mutter.

My theory about scaring him away is definitely wrong.

“Do you want me in there with you? Do you need me in there with you?” His knuckles dance across my cheek and chin.

Do I? I don’t want to have the dream again. He’s right. I didn’t have the nightmare the night we shared the bed at Nathan’s. I’m so confused right now. I’m terrified. My body feels cold and clammy and I can sense that I’m shaking.

“Come on,” he coaxes, taking my hand, leading me out of the den.

In fifteen seconds, we are in his bedroom with Sadie and the door is closed. Wiping a tear from my face, Joe pulls me into his body and I return the embrace for some reason. We stay connected, hugging for at least a minute.