Just Tell Me (The Justice Series) (20 page)

Chapter 18

3 months later…. August

It was Nicole’s 30
th
birthday and she stood in the hallway with the front door open, she put her hand on the wall to balance as she put on her trainers. It was midmorning already and she wanted to go for a run before her mum returned from shopping with George.  She walked through to the kitchen to make a quick espresso and picked up her phone, she wanted to ring Daniel and hear his voice.

Nicole only rang him when she was alone and sure no one else could hear her, she didn’t want Daniel to hear
George and ask difficult questions. She knew she wouldn’t be able to lie to him about his own son, she also knew she would have to tell him soon and knew they would have to meet up face to face.  They couldn’t carry on with this internet relationship forever, he had already wished her Happy Birthday as it turned midnight last night and she smiled as she remembered the Facebook conversation. It was getting dangerous, they had been in contact like this for three months now. She was starting to feel reliant on him and she knew she was completely in love with him.  In love with the voice at the end of the phone and the messages on her screen, she couldn’t place the Daniel MacIntyre she saw on Google with the voice in her head.

When she
had returned to the office for a “Keeping In Touch” day she had found that the previous team had been replaced and there wasn’t anyone she knew anymore.  She rang him at lunchtime on the brink of tears and told him she had moved offices and was feeling nervous, he calmed her down, he never asked any difficult questions.  He just listened to her and told her he was thinking of her and she would be fine. He laughed when she told him she ran with an old portable CD and they discussed music at length, arguing over bands and songs. They never discussed the details of the time they spent together in the penthouse suite. Or Andrew. Or her pretend boyfriend. 

She stood in the kitchen swilling the brown liquid of her coffee round the tiny cup, and thought back to
last night. She had been sitting on her bed talking to Daniel through her computer and his sudden turn of conversation took her by surprise.  George was starting to sleep longer, Nicole knew she should be sleeping too but she spent her nights talking with Daniel, her laptop was out on the bed and she was sat reading his message unsure what to reply. It was out of character and against their unspoken rules as she recalled it.

“
Do you still have that red dressing gown I bought you Nicole?”

Her heart
quickened as she read the words, she knew what he meant and she glanced over at the red fabric. It was still in the corner where she had thrown it in her rage after his television debut on Single and Loaded.

“
Yes I do why do you ask?
”
  She typed the message and hit enter.

“
You looked gorgeous in it I can remember you walking into that room, it was amazing.
”
 
Nicole read the message on the screen and her heart leapt as the next one popped up.

“
I MISS YOU”

“
If you were here now I would carry you to my bed and make love to you”

She felt excitement in the pit of her stomach
as his words ran through her mind.

“
Slowly”

Nicole blushed, sh
e didn’t know how to handle him, she had never dealt with anything like this before, but he was turning her on and she grabbed her phone to text him.

YOU’RE BEING TOO SUGGESTIVE MR MACINTYRE. GET IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF!

He replied back on Facebook.

“
Sorry I just remembered how it felt being with you, I don’t have any self control”

She paused,
she wanted to carry it on despite her warning. Her fingers were ready to type the next message that would take their relationship to another stage.

“
Neither do I when I’m with you.”

She waited a second before pressing enter,
did she really want to do this?  But before she could he send her another that stopped her in her tracks. She could feel his emotion through the words.

“
I hope you don’t wear that red dressing gown for your boyfriend Nicole.”

All thoughts of the previous thread disappeared from her mind and s
he changed the subject, hating lying to him about her fictional boyfriend but it gave her a reason for him to stay away from her. She said goodbye to him and laid in the darkness, unable to sleep. Daniel had turned her on just with his with his words, how would she feel if and when she saw him again. He had said he wanted to make love to her, her body responded and she remembered how it had felt when he touched her. Unaware that he had sent it after a bottle of wine and was currently drinking his second, his mind was unsteady. The thought of her spending her birthday with anyone other than him was driving him into a downward spiral and he was at the end of the line with all of it. 

Nicole
stood in the kitchen still thinking about the events from the night before.
What a mess.
She was about to leave the house for her run as the postman knocked on the door, she signed for a parcel addressed to her and she took it into the lounge to open it. A card fell out on the floor, she immediately knew it was from Daniel and she felt shaky as she opened the envelope.

“
To Nicole, happy birthday, I hope you like the songs, I really wish it was me taking you out tonight, enjoy yourself, all my love Daniel xxx”

S
he looked at the words and her heart was in her mouth, all his love?  It was just a figure of speech and she told herself to stop reading anything more into it. She felt Daniel was playing a game with her passing time on his computer; he could have any women he wanted.  She opened the box and found a black iPod and she burst out laughing and rang his phone but it went to answer machine. 
That’s not like Daniel
, she thought and she texted him to say thanks.  

As Nicole
set off running to the park, she put the new white headphones in her ears and looked through the playlist.  He had created one called “Songs for Nicole” and she pressed play and started running.  

She had only got a few hundred metres when she stopped, the Lost Boys song played, the one she had
seduced him to and she laughed. He had put some thought into this playlist and she was fighting back the tears and she flicked to the next song.  She ran and listened to the words, the lyrics resonated with her as she pushed herself faster, she ran through a field by the river at the back of the park, the water glistened in the sun. The songs spoke to her
.
 

Depeche Mode.
Well of course. She smiled. Dark choice Daniel. She was torn with emotion and didn’t think she could carry on another day without seeing him, God she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She started to wonder if he really did feel the same way as her but she couldn’t see a solution, she was living a lie, playing a dangerous game and she was scared of the consequences. 

What would he say when he found out about George?
That she had kept something like this from him?  By the time Coldplay started, the tears ran. God he knew how to really catch her, how did he do it? Every song he had put on the iPod spoke to her as thought it was his voice, as though he really knew her, she wiped her tears and switched the music off as she came out of the park and onto the road by her house, she was sweating and her legs ached. 

Nicole’s head was clear now and she ran her hands down her legs, feeling the muscles on her thigh
s. She was pleased her body had bounced back after George, she still had a little bit of spare belly but it wasn’t even noticeable over clothes. It wasn’t like anyone was likely to see her naked anytime soon, she smiled.  

She was looking forward to the night ahead.  Libby was taking her out into town, she couldn’t wait, last time she went out she didn’t even know she was pregnant and Nicole felt like she was getting a routine back to her life again.  Having a baby wasn’t that hard when you have help.  She was so grateful for her parents and knew it was due to their help, support and her new financial independence that she could manage to look after George
and have some time to herself. She checked her phone and tried Daniel again but it was still on voicemail,
where was he?
 

Nicole spent the afternoon with her mum and George, she had told her parents she was in contact with Daniel and they were shocked at first, but now her dad could make a joke out of it he was happy.

“How’s Mr. Clooney?” he would jibe and Nicole would revert back to her teenage self.

“Shut up dad” she wo
uld say pulling a face at him “We are just friends OK?”  He would chuckle and wink at her and she would laugh, despite herself.  Libby called round later that afternoon and they all drank some Prosecco while they waited for the taxi. Nicole’s mum was having George and promised Nicole a lay in, so she was determined to have a good time. They got in the taxi already a bit tipsy and found a bar in town that Libby raved about.

“It has a fantastic rooftop terrace, I can chain smoke in piece, come on” she ordered a bottle of wine from the bar and they g
rabbed the last table outside “So tell me all about it Nicole” Libby’s eyes were eager she needed gossip and an update on the Daniel situation as she called it.

“What?” Nicole couldn’t help smiling and said innocently “I’m having an internet affair with my sons father who
is a womanising playboy and doesn’t know he has a child?” she laughed it sounded like an episode of Jeremy Kyle but she didn’t see Daniel as a playboy in her head. Of course he was good looking, but she couldn’t visualise him anymore, it was his words and his voice that she had started to love. 

Libby raised her eyebrows “A
multi-millionaire landowning playboy you forgot that bit, oh and the most gorgeous man in the UK” and despite herself Nicole giggled, they were halfway through the first bottle and Libby was looking giddy.

“
I can’t keep it from you anymore” she exclaimed, the excitement in her voice “I’ve got a birthday surprise for you, it’s all planned OK so you can’t say no” Nicole looked at her friend in mock horror.

“B
loody hell you’ve got me a stripper” she laughed.

“No!” Libby said “It’s much better than that. N
ext weekend you and I are going away for two nights” Nicole’s eyes widened “and you don’t have to worry about George, it’s all organised with your mum and dad”

Nicole was amazed, a week
end away with her best friend “And the best bit” Libby said “is that we are going to Edinburgh”. 

Nicole spat her drink
out, “What?” She felt the anxiety prickling at her “But what if I bump into Daniel, what would I say to him” she felt nervous at the thought of seeing him again after all this time, but Libby shook her head.

“Y
ou can’t hide from him forever Nicole, I hope you do meet him, in fact tell him you’re coming up to Edinburgh, you can meet him for coffee on the Saturday. Start explaining some truths to him at last, maybe you can start a normal adult relationship”.  Nicole smiled thinly, she knew her friend had the best intentions.

“
God, yeah you’re right Libby, its just I’m so scared. Scared of the consequences.”.  She checked her phone and saw she had a missed call and her heart leapt she had a text message “He’s messaged me now, hang on a sec” she pressed open and read the message.

HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING YOURSELF WITH
YOUR BOYFRIEND TONIGHT NICOLE. TIME TO MOVE ON. HAVE A NICE LIFE. DANIEL.

She looked at
the message and showed it to Libby, her heart racing.

“For fucks s
ake Nicole what are you doing? You have to tell him you don’t have a boyfriend” Libby shook her head “You know I feel sorry for Daniel now it’s about time you started living in the real world, you are creating a fantasy that doesn’t exist, you need to put him out of his misery. Stop hiding behind text messages and bloody Facebook and ring him now. God it’s like Anna and Edward all over again, living in a sodding fantasy world, sort it out”

Nicole knew she was right, Libby went to the bar to get another bottle of wine, and
she dialled his number, it rang out for ages and she was about to put the phone down when he answered.  

“Didn’t expect to hear from you tonight,
are you not having fun with your boyfriend?” he asked darkly and his words were slurred “What do you want Nicole?” Nicole was stunned, she hadn’t experienced this side of him before.

“Daniel we need to talk” she said softly “I have to tell you a few things”

He interrupted her “You are just playing games with me. You have a boyfriend and yet you string me along like this, for fucks sake you are just messing me about and I don’t know why, are you punishing me?” 

She heard his voice crumble and she had to stop her tears at his harsh words “Daniel there is no boyfriend, for
God’s sake, I’ve not even looked at anyone else since… since us, when would I even have time for anyone else? I spend all time talking to you, haven’t you even thought it was strange that I spend every night with you on Facebook?”  She spoke the words harshly, opening the floodgates that had been building up for months. “You know, we talk about everything except what really matters”