Keep Her (15 page)

Tapping her on the nose, I said, “I like jealous Riley.”

“Oh, do you?” She smirked.

“So far there’s not one side of you I don’t like, Riles. What are we going to do about that?” This was going far beyond flirtatious fun and I really didn’t care.

“God,” she moaned, letting her head fall back. “Why do we have to be
here
right now? Can’t all these people disappear?”

I felt her frustration. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into the lake with me and swim off to have my way with her. But we were surrounded by people who wouldn’t understand the situation. If we gave in to what we wanted to do to each other right now, it would only come off as a random hookup. I didn’t want people judging either of us without knowing the truth.

“I’ll tell ya what.” I had a plan.

“Go ahead,” she smiled, swirling her feet in the lake and making ripples spread across the smooth water.

“Marcus is already pretty intoxicated. If he keeps up this pace, he’ll be passed out and comatose before the fireworks even go off.”

“Continue,” she said, her grin growing wider.

“Once he’s asleep for the night and all the rest of the guests are gone, I’ll sneak into your room and we can have some fun of our own. Sound like a plan?”

Biting her lip and clapping her hands, she butt-danced. “The perfect plan. So perfect I want to break out in song. Caberet ohhhh…even though Marcus has no clue, we’re still getting our groove on!”

Putting my arm around her shoulders and bringing her close, I kissed her on the top of her head and laughed. “That fucking song. I have to admit it’s growing on me.”

“Good, because I’m just getting started. Caba—”

“Don’t make me shut you up with a big wet kiss. If people haven’t noticed the touchy feely-ness, they’ll be sure to notice my tongue down your throat.”

“Oh, Marcus!!” she called out, standing up. “Let’s go do some shots.” Looking down at me, she extended her hand to help me up. “Come on, let’s get him good and zonked. I want your tongue down my throat.”

When Marcus had the brainchild to fix up the lake house and then throw the party of the century, I doubted him and his ambitious attitude. My little brother didn’t always follow things through. But his efforts to execute the ultimate remodel—together, as a team—brought on an onslaught of other emotions besides anticipation. As excited as I was that Marcus wanted my help and that I’d get some well-needed quality time with Marcus, the thought of erasing my mom, and happy childhood memories, was a bitter pill to swallow.

“Fuck a duck!” Marcus shouted over the stereo that boomed with Mom’s old albums.

“What now?” I looked over to where he stood on the stepstool, trying to suck away the pain from his thumb.

“Who hung this shit? Had to be Dad. Nails sticking out all over the place.”

I laughed as I dropped the paint brush to tend to Marcus’s boo boo. “Probably. You know Mom was more of a handyman than he is.”

“No shit. And that’s why the damn ducks have grins across their stupid beaks. She’s mocking me and punishing us for ripping down her beloved décor.”

Mom and her country chic. Back then, it was acceptable. Today… “Yeah, as much as I hate to strip this place of her charm, it really needs it.” It pained me to say it. It actually hurt. None of us had been back to the lake house since Mom died, but when Marcus asked me to help him redecorate and modernize the place, I jumped at the chance. It was time I could spend bonding with my little brother and reminiscing about old times. We needed this. I just never imagined it would be so hard.

“I still can’t believe she’s gone, Marcus.” I didn’t want to cry. It made Marcus uncomfortable, but watching him rid the kitchen of something that symbolized my mom… it sucked. No other way to put it. It was like we were erasing her—adding another layer of dirt to the grave.

Clearing his throat and climbing down from the stool with the dusty curtains in his hands, Marcus groaned, “Oh, Ry. Come on. These ducks have quacked their last quack. Please don’t lose it over these ancient things.”

“It’s not about the curtains,” I whispered, wiping the tears with the back of my hand. “I miss her so much, Marcus. She should be here.”

Slumping into a rickety kitchen chair—those were going too; we’d ordered a new set from Pottery Barn that would arrive tomorrow—Marcus ran his hands through his hair. “She is here.” He smiled, obviously reflecting on a fond memory. “Do you remember the year Beck and I almost killed those people fueling up at the gas station?”

I shook my head at the memory and grabbed a couple beers from the fridge. “I don’t know what Dad was thinking, letting a fourteen-year-old Beck drive the boat.”

“It wasn’t our fault Dad fell asleep.”

With two cold bottles on the table, I took a seat across from my brother. “No, but it was your fault that you two hot-shots thought you could handle docking and gassing up the boat.”

Marcus tried to hide his grin, but it was impossible. He clinked the neck of his bottle against mine and took a long pull. “Shit, that poor innocent puppy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess it was kind of a disaster. Funny now. Then—not so much.”

“You two put Mom and Dad through fucking hell.”

“Oh, ‘cause you were Miss Perfect. Mom saved your ass that time you came home drunk and fell asleep on the floor of the shower stall.”

“Mom ripped me a new one for that. I was grounded for three weeks.”

“Oh! Three weeks. Call social services. You got off easy.”

“You always thought that, but I definitely had it harder than you. Being the first, they always expected more from me, but you, Marcus, you were her favorite.” I sipped my beer, thinking back on how she doted over her only son. It made me resentful, but it also made me smile. My mom loved with all her heart. Even if she coddled Marcus a little more than she did me, our bond was so strong I still felt it today, even in her absence.

“Riley, you’re fucking crazy if you think I was her favorite. I appreciate the gesture, but what the two of you had… I was so damn jealous. Dad and I were never that close and as much as Mom loved me… Shit, Ry—the sun rose and set with you. You have to know that.”

Did I know that? There was a part of me that did, but there was a part of me that always wondered if I’d done right by my mom. Maybe an outsider had the power to see it better than someone who experienced it every day, took it for granted.

God, I missed her.

Fingering the raggedy old table cloth, full of snags and stains from years of use and reuse, I let the tears fall, unashamed. “I’m so glad we’re doing this together, Marcus.” I reached out to grab his hand.

He didn’t reject my touch, he didn’t roll his eyes. He let me latch on, comforting me with tiny circles on my palm as I cried. “She would be happy we’re doing this together. She’d hate that Dad let this place go to shit,” I said between sniffles.

He finished off his beer, setting the empty glass down on the table and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh, totally. She’s probably dancing along to the tunes as we speak.” He looked up, as if peeking into heaven. “Hey, Ma. The ducks can suck it! Next—we move onto those ridiculous toile bedspreads.”

Dropping my hand from his, I stood from the table to race up the stairs, calling out behind me. “You’re not touching those!”

“Like hell I’m not,” he bellowed, chasing after me. “I’ll fucking burn them as soon as you leave.”

“Not if I take them with me.”

“Be my guest, Ry. But don’t tell your clients you’re holding onto that tacky shit. It will ruin your credibility.”

We joked around like that the entire time we worked on the remodel. There were memories in every nook and cranny of the house—reminders in silly things like stolen salt and pepper shakers, rusted lounge chairs, old board games shoved into the back of the closet. Marcus was right—my mom was there. She always would be. And she’d be happy we were going on with living our lives as normally as we could with the gaping hole in our hearts.

After bonding with Marcus over the remodel and talking with Beck a little while ago, Fourth of July was turning into my favorite holiday of the year.

Tessa and I were on good terms—now that I had the stick out of my ass about her relationship with Marcus. I had to admit, it took me calling
her
out on being a bad friend for not supporting my craziness with Beck.
Hypocrite.
Spelled out letter by letter, enunciated syllable by syllable—that’s what I was. But luckily that was water under the bridge, thanks to my understanding and forgiving BFF.

Life was freaking good. Everything seemed right. I couldn’t help but smile as I held Luca in my arms, keeping an eye on him for Tessa, who’d gone to find Marcus.

Dancing to the summer soundtrack I’d programmed into Marcus’s iPod, I bounced Luca up and down. As I swirled him around the edge of the deck, I saw Beck making his way toward me with two beers and a dazzling smile.

When he reached the two of us, he put my beer down on the bar and tickled Luca under his chin with his free hand. “What have we got here? Auntie Riley getting some practice?”

My eyes popped open at how free he was becoming with his thoughts. Things were going fast, but not that fast. “B, you’re joking right?”

He looked and me, confused at first, and then realization set in. “Oh, no! That’s not what I meant. Oh my god, you must think I’m fucking crazy. What I meant was—Shit, total foot in mouth moment. What an ass.” He was stuttering his words and backing away from Luca like he had some infectious disease. The only thing infectious about this little boy was his cuteness. Apparently, he made everyone baby crazy.

“It’s okay. I know that’s not what you meant. Don’t worry, I won’t be asking you to make me a mommy any time soon. We’ve got plenty of time for that.”

“Shit,” he huffed, brushing a hand through his hair and gulping down his beer. “Sometimes things just slip out of my mouth without consulting my brain. Can’t help my tongue around you, sweet thing.” The old cool and confident Beck was back. I liked every side of Beck… sweet, sexy, confident, and vulnerable. I couldn’t wait to uncover more.

“So, do you have a status update on Marcus’s intoxication level, yet?”

Shifting Luca to my other hip, I shook my head. “That’s a negative. I actually haven’t seen him in a while. I wonder if Tessa ever—” The sound of screaming from inside the house broke my attention. Beck and I looked at each other for a split second before darting toward the sliding doors to see what was going on.

Through the glass I could see a crowd huddled around Marcus and Tessa—Marcus was yelling and Tessa was crying.
What the fuck?
Without hesitation, I shoved the doors open to see what was going on.

When Tessa spotted me, she jetted in my direction and tore Luca out of my arms. “I’m leaving,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Tessa, what—”

“I. Need. To. Leave.” She spoke out of desperation. “Pack my stuff and bring it home with you, okay?” I nodded, not knowing what else to say. Not understanding what the hell had happened.

After Tessa whooshed past me in a frantic hurry, and the only sounds that filled the silence were the revving of her car engine and the crunching of gravel as she peeled out, I turned to look to Marcus for an answer.