Keep Her (17 page)

Before I had the chance to answer, and possibly screw this up with the wrong words, she continued. “All this time I thought they were only messing around. If someone like Marcus can find love, find someone who understands him for all his crude, rude, and pigheaded ways, why can’t I? I mean, we’re talking about a guy who has
never
thought of a girl as more than a piece of ass. It may have started that way with Tessa, and it probably did, but—he’s totally reformed because of her. And I’m so happy for him—this is all I’ve ever wanted, but… what does he have that I don’t? Why the hell am I so jealous of them, B?”

I wanted to tell her she was crazy. She was so much
more
than what Marcus was. She was a beautiful person, inside and out. A girl that anyone would be happy to call their own… forever. Why she hadn’t met that guy yet, I had no idea. But suddenly I was happy she hadn’t. It left her available for…

“Riles, don’t you know how special you are? How beautiful? And smart? And loving? And selfless? And sexy?” I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand, holding her tight against my body with my other hand at her back. “I’ve always thought those things. Can’t remember a time I didn’t. And now… now that we’ve gotten closer, I realize so much more.” Did I continue? Did I dare to tell her the things she made me feel? I didn’t want her to think her tears made me confess these things. The water lapped against the dock, breaking the silence as I held back a bit, wanting to gauge her reaction.

“Then why I am alone?”

It didn’t matter how many compliments I gave her—she had to have heard those all before. What she needed now was to know that I didn’t want her to feel alone. I wanted to be the one to fill that void. “You’re not alone, Riles. You have me.”

“I have you for now… until she comes back and realizes what she gave up. I know you love her, Beck. I know you can’t just turn off your feelings for someone. This is all fun and it’s a nice distraction for you, but once she comes to her senses—when she wants you back—where does that leave me?”

I thought about it for a second. I thought about Marissa asking me to come back to her, changing her mind about the things that tore us apart, about how happy we’d been over the last two years. At one time, all those things brought a smile to my face. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than Marissa to be my future, but now… being with Riley, getting to know the real her, feeling her under my fingertips, sharing intimate moments and secrets—Marissa was no longer the one I wanted to be with. “Riles, can I say something without you thinking I’m crazy?”

She looked at me, wiping away her tears as she laughed. “Nothing can make you look any crazier than I must seem right now.”

“Yeah? How about this,” I blurted out. “I want to be with you. Not because you’re a rebound, not because I’m using you to forget someone else, not because this is fun or convenient, and certainly not because I feel bad for you for feeling lonely. I want to be with you because the idea of
not
being with you makes me crazy.

“The idea of sneaking around through ‘schmexy’ texts and secret lunch dates and late night, dockside heart-to-hearts—it’s not enough. In our ridiculously short amount of time together you made me realize I wasted two years of my life with the wrong girl. I did love her, but… the idea of being without her, it sits fine with me, it does nothing to me. The idea of being without
you
… it crushes me, hurts my insides, makes me sweat with worry. So now, who’s the fucking crazy one, Riles?” I lifted her chin so she saw the truth in my eyes. “Want to take a chance on crazy?”

Riley’s tears went from sad to happy, I could tell by the huge smile on her face. They fell from her eyes and I patted them away, kissing her on the tip of her nose. The words came to me in a flash, knowing she’d get a kick out of them. Whispering in her ear, I sang, “Cabaret… ohhhh! Even though we’re two crazy fools, I wanna do crazy with you.”

“B, you had me at Cabaret,” she laughed, inching up on her toes to kiss me. “Crazy sounds really fucking good.”

I melted into our kiss, licking her lips and speaking against her mouth, “Crazy
tastes
really fucking good.”

Nuzzling into the crook of my neck, she sniffed in and moaned, “Crazy
smells
really fucking good.”

With that, I scooped her up in into my arms, walking back toward the house. “Let’s go inside and make some crazy together.”

Was this really happening? Was
this
really happening? By
this
, I didn’t mean having my shirt and bra peeled off sensually and slowly by my brother’s childhood friend. By
this
, I didn’t mean gripping his ass and urging him to grind against me, causing me to moan in ecstasy while my brother was in the other room. By
this
, I meant—was I really falling for Beck Matthews?

After that conversation on the dock, after he bared his soul to me with honesty and sincerity I never imagined could come from a man, I realized that’s exactly what was happening. No doubt, no mistake, no fucking shit—I was falling
hard
for Beck Matthews.

“Please don’t stop that. Please,” I begged as he teased one taut nipple with his tongue, his fingers parting my sex and thrusting in and out of me under my panties.

“Let me get you undressed first, baby. I want to go slow tonight. There’s no rush.”

I loved the sound of that, but I couldn’t help but worry that Marcus would wake from his drunken slumber to find us. And worse, I wasn’t sure I could withstand the slow, delicious torture Beck was capable of. I needed this release—now—and I didn’t care how I got it. I just knew I wanted it from him.

Helping his cause, I pulled at the hem of my shorts, sliding them down my legs. Kicking them to the side, Beck hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties and snapped the lace elastic against my skin.

I giggled at his playfulness, pulling him down to my face by his neck and getting lost in a deep kiss. “Take them off,” I groaned against his mouth.

“Yes, love,” he said, complying.

Love.
I wanted to hear that word come out of his mouth many more times. In many contexts. For many years. God, I was in too deep. Way too deep for the short amount of time we’d spent together. It was ridiculous when I thought about it, but our connection—both in and out of the bedroom—there was nothing ridiculous about that.

Stepping out of my head to enjoy the feel of Beck’s body hovering over mine, I traced my finger along the waistline of his jeans, finally unbuttoning them. “Your turn,” I said, feeling too naked underneath him while he was still fully clothed.

I yanked at the denim, needing him to be free, craving the feel of him rocking in and out of me. The way he’d made me imagine it in our texts—fast, hard, rough. But by the way he was worshiping my body with kisses, I could tell this would be so much more than a quick, wild, meaningless romp.

Finally ridding him of his pants and underwear, I stroked his hard length, guiding him toward me. “Not yet, baby,” he whispered, his voice practically quivering. “I want to be inside of you, but not yet.”

“Please?” I begged.

He let out a breathy laugh, lifting his shirt above his head. I stared in awe at his defined body, wanting to reach out and touch, to wrap my legs around his tanned muscles, to beg him to take me. But before I could do any of those things, he was hovering over me again, his tongue traveling the length of my naked body. “I said slow. Let me enjoy this beautiful body.”

I wanted to enjoy his too. Preferably
inside
mine. How was he not aching to thrust into me? Just the thought of it alone had me on the edge of coming undone, but when his tongue traced circles on my inner thigh, and his fingers cupped me from behind, I felt the warmth of his breath between my legs and shuddered underneath him. “Oh, God,” I moaned prematurely.

“I haven’t even touched you yet, Riles.”

“I know!” I squealed, unable to contain it. “Please? Please touch me already!”

I felt his breath escape through his nose as he laughed and then turned serious, groaning,”Mmmmm.”

When his tongue finally darted out to taste me, I thought I would die from the slight relief it brought on. I didn’t die, but it was heaven. I let out a whimper, arching my hips off the bed as he sucked my clit and tugged lightly with his teeth. It was so raw and carnal, yet so intimate. I’d never felt this comfortable during oral sex. Beck had a way of making it as if we’d explored each other’s bodies a million times before. He already knew exactly how and where to touch me to elicit the most pleasure. I smiled, thinking it could only get even
better
with time.

When I felt his hands grip my ass and tilt me upward, I readied myself for the intensity that was sure to come. Making his tongue stiff, he breached my entrance with a hot dampness that surged through me like lightening electrifying each and every nerve ending. He brought one hand around to continue circling my pulsing clit, and within seconds, I was exploding. He drank each drop with the most sensual sounds I’d ever heard.

“God, I love making you do that,” he gloated, crawling over my quaking body and placing a soft, salty kiss on my lips. “You okay?” he asked, smirking.

“More than okay. Great. Fantastic. Wonderful.” I was still breathless, but I wanted more. I wanted so much more from Beck than I ever imagined. But I needed a minute to come down from my high.

Resting his head against my heaving chest, I tangled my fingers in his unruly hair, enjoying the skin-on-skin contact, the closeness, the comfortable silence. After a few seconds of relishing in my bliss, my vision became clear again, and my breath less hurried.

Beck looked up at me, resting his chin between my breasts and smiling. “What are you thinking?”

“Lots of things,” I admitted, not willing to tell him how my heart was not only racing because of the incredible orgasm he just gave me, but because it was ready to leap out of my chest from the way he was looking at me. Happy, enamored, fulfilled.

Bringing his hands up under his chin, he continued his magnetic gaze. I broke eye contact and sunk into the soft pillow beneath my head. “B, I think you broke me,” I huffed.

He scooted up, curling against me, bringing my face to his with his gentle touch. “I hurt you? How?”

“No,” I laughed, realizing he was clueless. “I’m done for, B. I think you ruined me for any other man. That wasn’t even
sex
and I’m completely exhausted from the workout you just gave my body. That tongue is… it’s magic,” I sighed.

Bending his elbow and leaning his head against his open palm, he looked at me intently. “First of all, no talk about other men while you’re in my bed.”

“Technically it’s
my
bed, but go on…”

“You know what I mean, smartass. And secondly, you better dig deep and find some more strength.” He looked past me to the alarm clock on my nightstand. “That fiasco made everyone go home early… the night’s still young, sweet thing. I’ve been waiting all week to be with you again.”

Even if I was completely worn-out, my limbs deliciously languid, hearing those words had me craving more.

In one quick movement, Beck lifted me by my waist and sat me on top of him. I straddled his perfect body, admiring him. He flexed his pecs, lifting his eyebrows. “Like what you see?”

Licking my lips, I took on a role I never thought I could play—sexy and domineering, rather than the shy and submissive girl I’d always been in bed. I felt at ease with Beck—confident. “I love what I see,” I purred, running my hands along his smooth chest, tracing my fingers along the rigid dips and valleys his muscles created. I eagerly surveyed every inch of him, rubbing my body against his as I explored. My fingers trailed the narrow patch of dark hair that led from his belly button to the center of his deliciously shaped V. Just looking at him was enough to get my body blistering with desire.

“Sweet thing, your eyes say it all.”

I stared at him, deeply, scanning his beautiful, chiseled features. “And what exactly are they saying?”

“Want me to spell it out?”

“Mmmhmmm,” I encouraged him, grinding my sex against his stiff erection.