Keep Her (36 page)

“You know what, Fal? Take the rest of the day off. I don’t need you fucking with me while Griffin’s here.”

“You fucking wish, love. I’ve been dying to see Gruff Griff since the last meeting. And, besides, you might need me for back up. Who knows what that baby brain is capable—or incapable—of these days.”

“I despise you.” I scowled.

“You adore me.” He blew me a kiss.

Halfway through my meeting with Griffin, I had lost total focus. No, it wasn’t baby brain, like Fallon had accused me of having. It was guilt. I felt awful for sitting in front of Griffin—who was smiling at me with that adorably, flirty dimple—knowing that I was keeping the news about my pregnancy from him. And the more time that passed with me gaping over this man’s beauty, that guilty-by-association thing Fallon spoke to me about—it was festering inside of me. I was withholding something from the man I loved and I hated that. I wouldn’t like it if the shoe was on the other foot. I’d have to tell Beck about my brief stint with Griffin Dennison just to clear myself of all incrimination.

But the dude kept staring at me like I was his lunch. “So,” I tried to get his focus off me and back to the design board. “This is what I had in mind for the window treatments. Since we’re closing off that part over there for a darkroom you can actually filter some light into the main room.”

“Sounds nice,” Griffin said, still staring at me and ignoring my designs.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” I finally had to come out with it.

With a hardy chuckle, he admitted, “Because you’re beautiful. Actually, there’s something different about you this time. Like you’re…” he trailed off in thought, tapping his finger on his salt and pepper scruffed chin.

If he chose the word “glowing” I was going to piss myself. That was all I needed.

“Glowing. That’s it! You have this absolute radiant glow about you, Riles.”

Well, slap me silly and call me Milly. “Griffin, seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. You look gorgeous. Let me take you out again.” He leaned closer, giving me access to a strong whiff of his intoxicating scent.

Oh, baby brain, stop letting other men flood your senses.
“I’m with someone else. You know that.” Thank God Fallon had been called out on an errand. If he saw the way I was squirming, or heard what was going on—I didn’t even want to think about what he’d do.

“Yes, so you’ve said, but you’ve also been very reserved in your mention of said boyfriend. Could it be you’re just blowing me off?” The combination of the cocked eyebrow, the flirty dimple, and the devilish grin—no good. And I’d be damned if he was going to call me a liar.

“I’m pregnant, Griffin. So, no, there will be no more dates with you. I only intend to date the father of this child. Now, let’s get back to my designs, unless my
condition
is a problem for you going forward.”

Griffin’s eyes went so wide I could see every single fleck of the multi-colored hazel irises. He remained silent for an uncomfortable amount of time, before scratching his head and taking a breath. “Well, that explains the glow.”

“I guess it does.”

“How far along?”

“Almost three months.”

“Did you know you were when we were… ?”

“Oh my god, Griffin! Of course not. I would have never started dating another man knowing I was pregnant. What kind of person do you think I am?”

He didn’t answer me, just continued with his interrogation-like questions. “Are you with him
because
of this baby?”

Fuck you, Griffin.
“I’m with him because I love him.”

“Then why did you break up in the first place?”

“Listen, I don’t have to explain myself to you and I’m sorry for how this all turned out, but… this is how it has to be. I love my boyfriend. We were separated for a little while—during which time you and I, whatever—all because of a misunderstanding. It worked out, the rest is history, or in our case, future. I’m happy, Griffin. I love Beck and I’m sorry for being a bitch, but—”

Shit!
What had I just done?
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Damn you, baby brain!

“Wait? You love
who?
Did you just say
Beck
? As in
Beck Matthews
?” Every time he said his name it reeked of disdain. Whatever Marissa had told Griffin about their breakup did not put Beck in a good light.

Narrowing his eyes, he asked again. “The father of your baby, the baby you’ve been carrying for almost three months, is Beck Matthews?”

“Yes.” It came out as a barely audible squeak.

Standing from his chair and plucking his keys from my desk, he dug something out of his pocket and placed it in the empty spot left by his keys. “This is my card. It has my assistant’s phone number on it. I’ll tell her you’ll be contacting her from here on out with all the plans for the studio.” He tucked a hand in one pocket, combed the other through his short hair, and shook his head. “Good luck to you, Riley. You’ll need it.”

And then he left.

The smell of Riley’s doctor’s office made me as uncomfortable as a Montana farm boy sipping tea and crumpets with Queen Elizabeth. It was all so clinical and sanitized and…
womanly
. I guess it could’ve been worse, considering
what
the doctor was examining in those back rooms, but the pink and floral decor just made me uneasy. Riley should leave them her card. Do her magic and modernize this joint with some flat screens tuned to SportsCenter. Put us expectant fathers in our element, for Christ’s sake.

As Riley flipped through a parenting magazine, I people watched. Scoping out the waiting patients—each one larger than the next with bellies that resembled beach balls—I wondered if Riley’s ankles would swell like that one’s over there. Or if her nose would spread across her whole face like that one’s over there. It wasn’t exactly the nicest thing to do, sit there and judge the appearance of these women carrying God’s greatest gift, but—whatever. We’d been in the waiting room for almost an hour. I had to pass the time somehow.

“You okay?” Riley asked, placing a hand on my knee to stop it from bobbing.

Grasping her hand, I tried to reassure her. “Yup. Just impatient. I hate doctors ever since that quack examined me for the fire academy.” He was ancient—he must’ve graduated medical school at the turn of the century. If he graduated at all. He had me take the stress test part of the exam four times, each time making me think I had some kind of incurable heart condition. The PA in his practice finally came in on the fourth try and had to show the guy how to read the damn results. I hoped Riley’s doctor wouldn’t give us anything to worry about. I was already a ball of nerves as it was.

“There’s nothing to worry about. You’ll love Betsy. She’s awesome. Not at all what you’d expect. She’s young and cool. Promise.”

Whoa.
I didn’t want some Doogie Howser delivering my kid. “How young? Does she know what she’s doing? We have to have the best for our baby, Riles. I won’t settle for less.”

Leaning over, she planted a loud, wet kiss on my cheek. “You are adorable. Do you know that?”

“The sweat dripping off my head and the accelerated heart rate—that does it for you, huh?” Shaking my head, I went back to bobbing my leg up and down.

Swiveling in her chair to face me, her eyes met mine and glistened with such warmth it almost erased all my fears about this visit. “I love how much you already care about this baby. It makes me so proud. I feel so lucky. You’re going to be an incredible father, B.”

I rolled my eyes, certain she was just trying to butter me up so I didn’t act all crazy in the examination room. “You’re just all mushy and sentimental because of all those hormones.”

Arching a brow, she pulled back. “You’d be wise not to use the hormone card too much. Just a warning. And if you must know, I’m all mushy and sentimental because I’m excited to see our baby for the first time.”

“What do you mean, see our baby? How?”

Huffing, she smiled. “Didn’t I tell you this already? The sonogram. I’m already about ten weeks along so the baby has arms and legs—it’s the size of a kumquat right now.”

“A kum
what
?”

Riley’s giggle filled the whole room. A few people turned to look our way with a smile. We must’ve looked like a happy couple. We
were
a happy couple. Leaning in for another kiss, this time smack on the lips, Riley baby-talked me. “See, you’re adorable. Now sit back and relax. We’re next. And try not to pass out when you hear the baby’s heartbeat.”

Heartbeat?
I was going to hear my baby’s heartbeat from inside her stomach? Holy crap! Modern technology was fucking incredible. I needed to start reading up on this shit.

A woman in scrubs peeked into the lobby with a file in her hands. “Riley Grayson?”

The two of us stood.

“Betsy will see you now.” With a warm smile and a polite nod in our direction, we followed the nurse down a corridor lined with closed doors.

After Riley was weighed, changed into a maroon paper-like gown, and peed in a cup, the nurse ushered us to another room that had some kind of large equipment in it. When she explained that this was where Riley would have her sonogram I tried to relax, but it just wasn’t possible. This was crazy. I’d known for two weeks that I was going to be a father, but suddenly this was all so fucking real it made me weak in the knees. Not because I wasn’t ecstatic—I was—but I was scared shitless.

From the moment this baby would be born I had to worry about how
not
to fuck it up. She would rely on me to protect her, teach her right from wrong, serve as a role model and example of what a good man should be. I would be responsible for her well-being for the rest of my life and it wasn’t the food, clothing and shelter that freaked me out—it was all the emotional stuff. The stuff good parents were made of. Did I have all that stuff?

“Beck, baby? You’re white as a ghost. You okay? Do you want me to get the nurse?”

And now I was doing a shitty job as Riley’s man. She was about to get some condom wrapped wand stuffed up her crotch and here I was pacing like a fucking fool. Taking a deep breath and raking my shaky fingers through my hair, I turned to her a new, confident man. “I’m perfect. Just wish she’d get in here already. You’ll be ready to deliver by the time they get to you.”