Keeping the Tarnished (21 page)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Shirts And Skins

Johnny had never seen so many nice people in his life. Graye had done a spectacular job keeping the visitors occupied on the front porch and under the party tent, with the exception of bathroom visitors. A song by D.L. Menard was playing through the loudspeakers by the barn.

People were dressed casually, mostly in khaki shorts and sundresses, and they drank champagne, wine, and an assortment of imported beers. The tables, all nine of them, were covered in old newspapers and pounds of crawfish shells and remains. People surrounded the tables and continued to ravage the feast as the smell of the Cajun spices and crawfish was thick and hung heavily in the muggy air. The evening was saturated with alcohol and laughter. Neighbors and clients drove from miles around to trample the Everetts’ beautiful front lawn and converse loudly. The dark of night was fast approaching, and the evening had brought old friends, old clients, new faces, and Tyler Jenkins to the Everett residence.

Jared initially seemed totally put off by Tyler’s repeated attempts of apology.

Johnny stuck close to Graye and allowed Jared and Tyler a chance to talk. Johnny wanted nothing more than to punch the shit out of Tyler, but he knew that in order to be true to the promise he made to himself, he would need to avoid Tyler all together.

Jared had retreated from Tyler several times in an effort to collect Johnny to join them, shooting the basketball out by the barn. Johnny would simply decline and tell his friend maybe later. There were a few other young men there as well that Jared had introduced Johnny to. The fourteen-year-old grandson of Mr. Morris and two fifteen-year-old nephews of Phil and Ivy Emhoff, from about fifteen miles south of the Everett farm, were at the party.

Johnny watched from the front porch as the boys shot around. He could gauge by Jared’s body language that he was still angry at Tyler to some degree. Johnny imagined that Jared would never fully forgive Tyler, but given the circumstances, it likely made more sense to be cordial to the guy rather than awkwardly avoid him all night.

Johnny tried to eat some crawfish, but his insides were a bundle of nerves. He was still ecstatic about the idea of going to college and had actually made his own first appointment with Brian Mulberry, who was without his dramatic other half while at the party. There were a few girls around Johnny’s age at the party, but they seemed to be only interested in talking to each other about the upcoming school year. Johnny made no attempt to converse with them. He was, however, growing increasingly nervous about allowing Graye to send for his school records as he still had this strange idea that his father would somehow find out where he was. He feared that if his father had reported him missing, the records request would lead the man straight to him and the family.

Johnny left the safety of the Everett couple to retrieve a Dr. Pepper from one of the several coolers. The humidity was relentless as the sun’s rays were giving way to an endless blanket of stars. The coolers were near the tent, and Johnny was well in route to them when he noticed a small child.

He was three years old at the most; he had dark brown, thick curly hair, and dark brown, beautiful eyes. The little boy was happy, smiling, and jumping around, seemingly without a care in the world. His parents were beautiful too; both were young, vibrant, and ever watchful. As Johnny looked at the little boy he felt his heart ache; he longed to see Jacob and to know if he was happy. He wanted to know if Jacob was smiling like this little boy, he wanted to know if he was safe.

Watching the boy jump around under the safety of his loving parents’ watchful eye was simply too much for Johnny. Going from one end of the spectrum to the other in such a short time had left holes in the boy’s psyche, and now witnessing a small boy laugh and play happily almost seemed to anger Johnny. Why didn’t Jacob have this? Why couldn’t Jacob have two parents like these? Johnny decided to hell with the can of Dr. Pepper and headed toward the house. It had been a long day, and he was tired from the countless introductions, and had felt like a wallflower for the past few hours. Placing his hands in his pockets, he was almost to the stairs when he heard his name called.

“Johnny,” Jared said from behind him, the boy was a little sweaty from shooting around. “Dude, please come shoot some hoops. We’re short one man and I’m done being around these douchebags with no one to talk to.”

It was clear that Jared genuinely wanted Johnny’s attendance. Without saying a word, Johnny simply removed his hands from his pockets and nodded his head.

“‘Atta boy!” Jared exclaimed as the two guys headed back to the barn.

As they walked, Johnny heard the little boy laughing.

He couldn’t understand how laughter could hurt so bad, it was more excruciating than the slow burn of his father’s Pall Mall. Johnny felt the gut wrenching truth course through his veins, he felt guilty and selfish. Now that he had been safe, fed, and loved, he was able to focus his attention on things other than merely surviving. Johnny had no idea if Jacob was eating regularly, or if he had someone there when he was scared.

“Tyler Jenkins,” the boy said as he put his hand out to shake Johnny’s, completely derailing his train of thought. Tyler was broad, with big shoulders and biceps. He had piercing blue eyes and large nose. Johnny thought the boy could easily pass for twenty-five, yet he was going into his senior year.

“I know,” Johnny muttered as he stared the boy down. Just as Tyler began retracting his hand, Johnny reached out to shake it, “Johnny. Johnny Tregalis.”

“You goin’ to school here next year, man?” Tyler asked.

“That’s what I hear,” Johnny said in a cocky tone of voice. Johnny understood he was smaller in size than Tyler, but wasn’t intimidated by him in the least.

“Well, hell yea. We need another baller,” Tyler said as he flashed a smile and threw the ball to Johnny. “Dude, you’re on my team, and we got Jasper too,” Tyler said as he removed his polo shirt. “We’re skins, you three fags are shirts,” Tyler pointed and smiled at Jared and the Emhoff cousins.

Regardless of what Tyler said Johnny knew this was merely a ploy to assert dominance and intimidation as the bigger boy flexed his pecs and paraded around like a caveman.

“I’m not taking my shirt off,” Johnny said as he shot the ball, sinking the shot from about twenty feet away.

“Dude, we’re skins. They’re shirts, you wanna be on their team?” Tyler asked as he went to retrieve the ball which had rolled a few feet away from the barn.

Johnny looked at Tyler, wondering what it would be like to sock him right in his mouth.

“Yea, man. I don’t gotta problem not being on your team, probably sucks to be on your team anyways,” Johnny said as Jared gave him a half smirk.

Tyler didn’t seem find the comment too funny as his demeanor and facial expression hardened with seriousness.

“What’s the matter, pussy? You a fag or something? Just take your fuckin’ shirt off,” Tyler said as he began dribbling the ball, moving closer to Johnny.

Johnny immediately broke eye contact, looking toward his mismatched shoelaces and attempting to block the boy’s words.

“Hey, faggot, I said take your fuckin’ shirt off!”

As Tyler made the demand again, Jared noticed Johnny’s eyes become large, and he began breathing heavily as he nodded his head in submission.

“Tyler, dude, chill the fuck out,” Jared said as he approached Tyler, who was watching Johnny with a strange look on his face.

“Hey, fag!” Tyler yelled at Johnny as he threw the ball at the boy, striking him hard in the chest.

Johnny had made no effort to catch the ball or even divert it, as he stared at the ground. He had wide eyes, flared nostrils, and was breathing rapidly.

“Dude, what the fuck is wrong with your friend? Your folks runnin’ a retard farm out here or something?” Tyler asked hatefully.

“Johnny, dude, don’t mind that stupid piece of shit. He was just about to leave,” Jared said in a concerned voice as he watched Johnny’s strange behavior, stepping closer to him.

“Okay!” Johnny said sternly, catching the attention of some of the adults who were socializing near the barn.

Jared and the group of boys watched Johnny, who was still staring at the ground.

The boy grabbed the bottom of his shirt and began pulling it up over his torso and over his head, tossing it to the ground beside him.

“Ja—Jared, man I didn’t know! How could I have known?” Tyler yelled from behind Jared, who was speechless.

The adults closest to the barn slowly moved closer to Johnny, who was standing very close to the bright barn light. The Emhoff cousins left the barn, running back to the adults.

“Jared, dude! What happened? What happened to him!” Tyler yelled loudly as they stared at Johnny’s scarred chest and abdomen.

Johnny had well-defined pectoral muscles, and nearly all his abdominal muscles were defined. He had nearly fifty circular scars from his father’s cigarettes, some large, some a little smaller, and a long thick scar running horizontally over his left pectoral, down his sternum, stopping just shy of the boy’s upper abdomen.

Jared approached his friend, who appeared to be in some sort of horrified trance. “Johnny, dude, you can put your shirt back on.”

“Okay!” Johnny yelled out again. His tone wasn’t one of anger; rather, it was the submissive tone of someone who was completely petrified with fear as he continued to stare at the ground, avoiding eye contact at all cost.

Jared jumped back in a startled manner as he watched as his friend put his hands behind his head and turn around, exposing his back to Jared. As he did, Tyler ran past both the boys, back to his parents near the house.

“Pops!” Jared yelled out, “Pops! Come here!” Jared stared in horror as he saw several of the party goers rushing to his aid. Jared felt the tears streaming from his eyes as he looked at Johnny. The fading sunlight set upon the thick, discolored, and layered scarring all about Johnny’s back. Not one or two scars. His entire back, from near his shoulders to where the boy’s short’s covered his buttocks, was covered with horrific scarring. The boy looked like he had been whipped a series of times.

As several adults began to gather, some covering their mouths in horror, Jared searched the crowd for his parents, “Pops!” The boy called out again, startling Johnny who had turned to face him.

“Jared?” Johnny asked in a surprised, almost relieved voice as he looked at his friend.

“Johnny, who the fuck did this? Your dad did this, didn’t he? That motherfucker!”

As Jared yelled in anger, Johnny looked down to see his shirt was off, and all his secrets were on display in front of a crowd of people he didn’t know, yet he didn’t understand what had just happened.

Johnny looked to see Jackson running through the crowd to the sound of his yelling son, but the man stopped suddenly as soon as Johnny was in his sight. His hands covered his mouth, his eyes widened, and it appeared to Johnny as though he were crying in the twilight.

As Johnny turned from Jackson, his eyes met Jared’s, the two stared at each other momentarily, and then Johnny realized he couldn’t be saved, he didn’t want to be saved, not tonight; tonight he wanted to run.

Johnny wasted no time, he ran from the stunned and silent crowd, many of whom were shocked and on the verge of tears. He ran past the porch, he ran from Tyler and from the Everetts’ home and all he had grown to love. He ran from the gasps of the tearful, wealthy, southern socialites. He ran past the horse stable and into the night. He ran through the pasture and toward the pond Jared had spoken of, the one that was so difficult to reach, and had sinister beings residing in its swampy waters. He felt he needed to join them, to join his lowly fellow creatures that resided in the scum and muck, and never again have to look on the faces that looked upon him—horrified and sympathetic to the plight of the poor punching bag, Johnny Tregalis.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Donny

The musky smell of mildew coupled with the hanging cloud of smoke left a heavy, pungently nauseating smell throughout the entire house. He watched as the heavy rain ran down his window. The inner part of his wooden windowsill, which was rotting away, was completely saturated, and had standing water and roach remains all along the bottom. The rains had been constant for days, and there was no means of comfort as the swamp cooler wasn’t working. The sweltering house was sticky and inescapably miserable.

As he watched the other boy sleeping, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would be better if he never woke up and continued his slumber into eternity. He looked at the pillow the little boy was sleeping on and, for but a brief second, he questioned how long it would take to end the boy’s suffering, and more importantly, to prevent the suffering that was soon to take place.

Instantly, he felt like a miserable wretch for even thinking such a thought. He loved this little boy so much, and the thought of Jacob being hurt to the degree that Johnny had been was beyond unfathomable.

He knew the rains were supposed to be reviving and reinvigorating as they fell heavily on the decrepit domicile and the surrounding area. These rains, however, were restricting and suffocating and had brought with them a familiar face of disgust.

As Jacob slept heavily, Johnny looked at the boy’s dirty little fingernails, and filthy feet. The two boys had been locked in the bedroom the majority of the morning as their father had been working in the kitchen. Johnny’s mother had left the house around eight in the morning, which was highly unlike her, so Johnny knew something was going to happen even before the disgusting bastard showed up with his box of fun. It would only be a matter of minutes and Jacob’s life would be drastically changed forever, and he would be forever ruined to some degree or another.

The tears swelled in Johnny’s eyes as he watched his defenseless baby brother sleeping. Loud laughter from the kitchen startled Johnny as his little brother opened his eyes and instantly began crying. His little cheeks were red and his thick brown hair was wet from perspiration. As Jacob looked around the room, he saw his older brother and instantly laid his head back down. Johnny knew he was a constant source of comfort for the little boy.

Jacob put his arms out for Johnny to hold him, “Hold you, Donny,” the little boy said as Johnny stretched over to pick him up. As he did, the bedroom door opened.

“Hey, boys!” Doug shrieked as he entered the room with the same tin lunch box of atrocious gadgets that Johnny had grown to hate. Doug was even fatter and had basically no hair now. This was the first Johnny had seen of him since the man stormed out of his room at the sight of Johnny’s body hair a few years earlier.

“Johnny, I need you to leave me and this handsome little devil alone, and I need you to leave now,” Doug said as he walked into the room, salivating at the sight of the toddler.

Johnny stood from his brother with tears in his eyes and a vengeance in his heart. As he walked past Doug, he wanted to gouge the man’s eyes out and watch him scream in agony.

“Move!” Johnny demanded as he headed out the door.

Doug paid no mind to the boy, his attention was focused elsewhere. As the bedroom door closed, Johnny could hear his little brother scream loudly, “Donny! C’mere! Donny!”

Johnny walked to the kitchen to exit the house, hoping the rain would silence his brother’s screams, but Jacob continued to scream louder.

“Donny!”

“Johnny!”

“Johnny!”

The boy’s eyes, puffy and swollen from crying during his sleep, opened as he heard his name being called out in the distance. He didn’t know where he was, only that it was still dark and he was wet, not completely soaked, but damp as a result of lying down on the saturated earth. The ground was soft, and every step left a two-inch indention when the boy was walking through the soggy backwoods.

The evening’s events came back to him rather uneventfully as his mental efforts were being devoted largely to maintaining the vivid image of Jacob, which was fading rapidly. Although he never found the pond he was searching for, the boggy landscape seemed just as treacherous, as there was no telling how many menacing moccasins and other unruly foes were within close proximity to the boy.

As he sat up and attempted to wipe his eyes clean, he noticed a glimmering light several yards away through the thickly wooded area. Johnny knew he was more than likely covered in ticks and possibly even had leeches on his person somewhere, as he had traveled foolishly through ankle deep waters to reach this undisclosed and meaningless location. His legs and shoes were completely covered in smelly sludge. His skin had a sticky, dewy dampness that made the boy even more uncomfortable.

Johnny knew he had traveled for miles after he ran from the Everetts’ party, and the crowd was privileged to everything Johnny had worked so hard to conceal. The pasture leading away from the house was easy to overcome, as Johnny was a natural sprinter. Once he reached the trees, however, the vegetation and soggy earth hindered his escape method greatly. There was no specific path, only random tree trunks, thick vinery, thousands of trees, and startling noises of frightened animals as they fled to safety from the clumsy teenager.

Johnny was now beginning to question the amount of space he had put in between himself and the house. If whoever was looking for him had almost reached him, perhaps he was closer than he originally anticipated. Johnny had no clue how long he had dosed off. Although an impromptu rest wasn’t in the original escape plan, the boy had rested near a large log momentarily to catch his breath and regain his thoughts. He then replayed what had transpired by the barn over and over again in his head as he closed his eyes. Johnny had actually been sleeping for nearly two and a half hours on the boggy floor of the dark and highly inhabited wooded area. The combination of the previous day’s labor, coupled with a lack of food intake and an extensive hike, had left the boy extremely exhausted.

Although his exhaustion was nowhere near quelled by the lengthy nap, the boy knew he needed to rise to his feet and continue on his route to nothingness. There was indeed a large part of him that wanted to run to the lights and the comfort of the family he had so grown to love, but the larger part couldn’t face the questions, and more importantly, the answers. He had no plan other than getting the hell away from everyone, and he was at the level of mental and physical defeat where he didn’t feel an extensive plan of action was necessary. He felt he only needed a calm place to merely fade, and to stop being.

“Johnny!” The boy heard again, this time the voice seemed further away. He thought perhaps whoever it was was walking in the wrong direction. As he looked again for the lights, he saw only a small glimmer, he was right; whoever was looking for him was moving in the opposite direction.

As Johnny looked to the black sky for some source of guidance, he heard his name called out once more in a desperate cry through the darkness. It was the voice of Jared, and Johnny knew instantly by his distressed call that the boy was upset and more than likely sick with worry. Johnny quickly compared his friend’s potential sense of despair to his own situation with Jacob. Although time had softened the harsh void that plagued Johnny’s soul, the reality was that Johnny was deeply burdened by the lack of knowledge surrounding Jacob’s well-being.

As a deep sense of empathy overtook Johnny’s emotions, he knew he couldn’t allow his friend to spend the rest of his life wondering what happened to him. He knew that Jared would need answers, and those answers would only be made available through Johnny himself. Completely filthy, Johnny turned back to the fading lights and began to reluctantly move in their direction.

“Johnny!” He heard Jared call out his name again in a pathetic manner that indicated to Johnny that his friend was beginning to lose hope. Johnny heard other people talking as well, and he knew that there must be a search party looking for him. Again, Johnny wondered what time it was, and how far he was from the house. His mind was gradually becoming as boggy as the surrounding woodland, saturated with confusion. His lips were dry and cracked, and his tongue continuously stuck to the roof of his mouth. His voice was shaky, but he knew that the party would more than likely be moving faster than he would, he knew he needed to cry out to announce his location.

He sat back down on the ground and covered his face with his grimy hands. As he drew in several deep breaths, he put his head back and yelled loudly, “I’m here!” The boy’s voice cracked, but it carried across through the darkness. Johnny knew the party heard him as he could hear a great deal of commotion coming from the group.

“Johnny! Where are you?” Johnny heard Brian’s voice yell out as his thoughts of surrendering to the elements were being rapidly replaced with feelings of humiliation and a great concern in regard to how the party would scorn him for this irresponsible act that had them out trudging through the boggy, dangerous backwoods of deep Louisiana.

“I’m here!” Johnny screamed out again, “I’m here!” Johnny sat, holding his knees with his arms. He had never felt more pathetic in his miserable life. As he looked at the sky, the reality set in and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that his time at the Everett house was done, and his future had once again been tossed into the realm just past uncertainty. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or even five minutes from now. For now, he wanted only to sit and stare into the dark nothing, and push all thoughts away to the back of his psyche.

“Johnny! Dude, where are you!” Jared yelled loudly.

Johnny could hear the renewed hope in his friend’s voice and he felt horrible for causing him and the others in the party such distress. Before Johnny could respond, Jared’s flashlight was upon him.

“Johnny!” Jared yelled gleefully as he moved quickly over the stumps and knee high vegetation, frequently losing his footing and having to rely on nearby trees for a counterbalance.

Finally, Jared reached Johnny, who was shirtless and making no efforts to cover his scarred body, as there was no longer a need. “Pops! He’s here!” Jared yelled loudly as other lights began to head in their direction.

“Is he okay?” Johnny was shocked to hear Tyler ask as the boy walked up behind Jared.

Jared, who had obviously been upset, was squatting down by Johnny, smiling as silent tears streamed down the boy’s face at the same time.

“Dude,” Jared tried to talk but he couldn’t as Tyler kneeled down by the boy as well.

“Johnny, man, I had no idea, dude. I’m so fucking sorry, man,” Tyler said in a deeply genuine tone of voice, placing his hand on Johnny’s shoulder.

Johnny was rather confused as to why the boy was apologizing as he had little recollection of what actually happened; Johnny felt as though he should be the one making apologies for everyone’s inconvenience. The entire situation was becoming increasingly confusing to Johnny as he chose to say nothing until Jared grabbed his shoulder. As Johnny looked at Jared, who was still silently shedding tears, Johnny felt horribly guilty, “I’m sorry,” the boy mumbled.

“Jared! Johnny, are you okay?” Jackson had finally reached the boys.

Johnny noticed the man hadn’t changed clothes prior to searching; his nice shorts, and even nicer shirt, must have been completely ruined. Johnny slowly rose to his feet as Brian approached with one of the Emhoff nephews.

“I’ll call the others to notify them!” Brian said excitedly as he pulled out his phone.

Johnny searched his mind for the words to say, but before he could formulate any form of an apology Jackson hugged the boy tightly, almost squeezing him. He placed his hand on the back of the boy’s head and held it tightly against his chest. “Are you okay, bud?” Jackson asked in a cracking, shaky voice.

Johnny knew he had caused the man much worry, and didn’t know how to even begin to ask for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, Jackson,” the boy muttered into the man’s chest, “I’ll go. I’ll go tonight and get a ticket.” As Johnny began to verbally announce this random plan of action, Jackson held the boy out and looked at him.

“What the hell are you talking about, a ticket? I told you that you’re a part of this family, and you’re not going anywhere!” Jackson said sternly, yet lovingly, the way a father would speak to his son.

Johnny couldn’t understand why, after everything, the family continued to support him.

“Why? I don’t understand why,” Johnny said as Jackson released him, staring at the sludge covered teen. “My life is fucked, and my head, my mind ain’t right, my mind is completely fucked! I got nothing!” Johnny exclaimed as he began to slowly break down. The last several hours were proving too much to bear as everything seemed to be coming to a head.

Jackson looked at the Johnny as the boy put his hands on his head again, looking at Jackson for an answer.

“We don’t have to know everything right now, Johnny. Life doesn’t work that way, and it never will. I can’t tell you that it’s all gonna be easy, but I can tell you that this family has been through some really tough shit, and we are all gonna get through this too. Do you understand me?”