Keeping the Tarnished (22 page)

As Johnny looked at Jackson and then the rest of the group, he noticed that no one appeared angry or irritated with him. He looked at Jackson and gave the man an affirming nod.

Jackson moved toward the boy again, placing his hand on the boys shoulder, “Now let’s go home.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Decision

His hair was still wet and even dripping somewhat on the kitchen table as he sat, surrounded by his seekers. Johnny was embarrassed to learn that there were actually two parties searching for him, and had he not disclosed his location when he did, the search would have extended to official law enforcement.

The shower was invigorating as it had washed away the muck and grime from the boy’s body. Regardless of how hot and powerful the water was, it hadn’t been able to wash away the humiliation and the feelings of devastation as they still lingered heavily on the boy’s mind.

Graye, Jackson, and Brian all sat with the Johnny at the kitchen table, as Jared had reluctantly gone to bed, and the rest of the party had gone home. Tyler was sleeping on Bryce’s bed, and the little girl was sound asleep in her parents’ room with her puppy.

Johnny stared at the droplets of water that fell from his hair to the table. He had no idea what the three adults were going to say, but he found some comfort in knowing that their basic demeanor was that of concern, rather than anger or irritation. When the party returned, Graye ran to Johnny and hugged him and seemed unconcerned that she had soiled her silk nightgown with the filth that Johnny was covered in. She had even kissed the boy’s face, which was covered in sludge and muck as well.

Johnny knew without a doubt that Brian genuinely cared for him too. It was after four in the morning, and the man was still there and awake, even after the exhausting search efforts. The walk back to the house had been a walk of deep shame for Johnny. No one said much the entire way home as Johnny and the men found it difficult to navigate and maneuver as a group through the boggy backwoods. Tyler had removed his soiled shirt so that Johnny could wear it to cover his scarred body.

“We have to start somewhere, my friend,” Brian said as he looked up from the table at the silent teen. “It is totally natural for you to withdraw when you are questioned about the devastating events that have taken place in your life. All of this can, and will, be worked out with vigilance and due time. I can assure you, that if you dedicate the effort, you will only move forward.” Brian’s tone was rich and soft, as his British accent and hand gestures were comforting and almost relaxing to Johnny. “First thing is first, Johnny, we need to have you physically examined by a proper physician to assure you are in good operational health. Treat the body, and then we will mend the mind with extensive, effective, and proven therapeutic interventions.”

“Nothing good is going to happen overnight, and this process isn’t going to be easy, but I need you to trust in yourself and utilize your support system to its fullest, Johnny. These people love you, and wish only for you to excel into the bright, successful, and stable young man that we all know is there. Your potential is limitless, and you have an incredibly bright future ahead of you, we just need to figure out how to take the most advantage of that. Does that make sense, Johnny?” Brian asked with his hands folded and a smile on his face.

The boy simply nodded as he gave a small smile.

“Good!” Brian said happily, “So, is it safe to say you are open to visiting my personal family physician today?”

As Brian asked, Johnny inhaled deeply and turned his head away from the three sitting at the table. Graye, who had puffy eyes from excessive crying, was now smiling at the thought of Johnny possibly being receptive to the help they so desperately wanted to give him. Jackson had been sitting with his elbows on the table and both thumbs in his mouth, chewing his thumbnails nervously.

“I’ll go,” Johnny said with a slight sense of relief in his voice, which indicated a genuine willingness to trust the people that had grown to love him so much.

“Excellent, Johnny,” Brian exclaimed, “who was your primary care physician back home? What was their name, Johnny?” The question was confusing to Johnny as he broke his gaze from the floor and looked at Brian.

“What?” the boy asked in a bewildered tone.

“When, Johnny, was your last visit to see your family doctor?” Brian continued as he looked at the boy curiously.

“I got some shots a long time ago with my mom so I could go to school, but I don’t know that guy’s name, or even if he was a doctor,” Johnny replied, hoping the response would satisfy Brian.

The three adults all looked at the boy in a surprised manner. “The last time you went to the doctor was for your immunizations?” Graye asked in a shocked voice as she stared at Johnny with a puzzled look on her face. Johnny couldn’t understand why this information came as such a shock to the adults.

“I’m not sure. That’s the only time I remember going.” As Johnny replied, he yawned loudly with exhaustion. He knew he needed rest for the long day ahead of him.

“Johnny, Dr. Evans is an excellent doctor, and I can assure you she will make the process as comfortable as possible for you today. I do think that it’s a good idea for you to go upstairs and try to get some sleep because I feel you should be well rested, and I’m unsure of when she will be able to see you,” Brian said as he smiled at Johnny.

As Johnny looked up at the three sitting at the table, hundreds of thoughts ran through his head, and one of them escaped the boy’s mouth. “I don’t know how to say thank you, and I suck at talking sometimes, but thank you all and I’m sorry again for tonight,” the boy said as his gaze fluctuated between each person at the table.

“You’re more than welcome,” Jackson replied.

“Let’s just worry about getting you some rest right now. Today, I’m sure, will prove to be difficult, and the authorities will most certainly be inquiring about the extensive scarring and signs of obvious abuse,” Brian said as Johnny stood from the table.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Scarred

“Who the fuck do you think you are? And you sure as hell better not answer that, you little faggot-ass piece of dog shit!” His father paced back and forth behind him as he was standing facing his bed with his head down in his pathetic room, sweltering and sweating in the Louisiana humidity and heat as the sun was still blaring outside.

Johnny would often just stare at the wall when he was in this situation. His father liked to begin the punishment by first saying horrendous things to Johnny. He liked to belittle him, humiliate him, and let him know just how bad it was going to hurt. A few times Johnny wet himself during a beating, and this only angered Thomas even more. Now, Johnny would try his hardest to mentally block out what his father was saying. He knew this time the buckle was going to be left on.

“You think you can just walk up in this motherfuckin’ house any goddamned time of the day, and it’s cool? Oh you’re so fuckin’ cool, ain’t ya, faggot?” Johnny felt the man’s fingertips abrasively push the back of his head. “What the fuck would you had done if them fuckin’ chickens had been outta water in this goddamned heat? Huh? I fuckin’ hate you. I wish to God every day I woulda shoved a hanger up your slutty mother’s disgusting pussy and scraped you out before she shit you out on the kitchen floor. You’re never leavin’ this place, fag. Never!”

His father continued to pace, further building anxiety in the trembling teenager. He was the typical alcoholic, swollen belly, stained, white tank-top, and bright red cheeks. To make his appearance even more monstrous, his teeth were yellow and dingy, and his hair was extremely greasy.

“Off with your shirt, boy.” Johnny’s worst fear. The pain that came with being beaten with a belt buckle was unbearable on bare skin. Shaking, Johnny removed his worn, gray t-shirt and tossed it on his bed. “Pants and skeeters too, fag. You gonna learn better than to piss me off.”

Trying his hardest not to give into the temptation to turn and beg, or to cry, Johnny began to unbuckle his jeans. His hands were shaking so bad he was almost unable to get them undone as his fingers kept slipping off the button. Finally, he was able to unfasten them. Quickly, he began to remove both his jeans, and his underpants; once he got them to the floor he used his feet to push them away.

“That’a faggot!” Thomas yelled out.

The force and the pain from the belt almost knocked the boy over, yet he stood silent, grimacing, and anticipating the next blow. Just then another hit came to his back, the same area. And again, and again.

“Bend over!” Thomas screamed at his son, who could feel blood streaming from where the buckle hit his flesh just right. Thomas continued to beat the boy on his buttocks, and the backs of his legs. He hit the boy many times before he stopped.

Johnny found it difficult to breathe as the pain seared from his legs and back and was completely unbearable; yet he remained silent.

“Stand up straight!” Thomas yelled as Johnny quickly stood up as straight as he could, shaking and breathing hard as he was on the verge of vomiting. “I hope you’s enjoying this as much as me, fag. Look what you make me do.” Thomas said in a cold, quiet voice. “Now turn around,” Thomas continued as Johnny turned around and faced his father as quickly as he could.

The boy felt dizzy and light headed, shaking, and sweating profusely. “Now, put your arms straight out, and I swear to God boy if you try to cover them balls, I’ll cut ’em off ya!” Thomas yelled loudly as the veins in his head were bulging. Johnny did as his father said, his hands reluctantly uncovered himself, his arms were shaking as he tried his hardest to straighten them out on either side as if he were about to be crucified, but he could no longer contain the tears as he felt them escaping his eyes.

“What a faggot, what do you think I am? Some sick fuck?” the man smirked, as he tossed the belt to the floor. “I really hope I got my message across to you, you little girly bitch. You’re just like your mother, but her balls were bigger. Do you hear me, boy!” The man yelled at the top of his lungs. His face was bright red, and his nose was only about an inch from Johnny’s.

“I think I need to throw up. I’m going to throw up.”

“Okay, I’m going to grab you a trash can, Johnny,” Brian said as Johnny jumped from his bed, falling to the floor in a complete state of confusion. The boy looked wildly around the room from the floor as Brian seemed to remain completely calm and unaffected. Johnny began grabbing the backs of his legs, he was completely certain that he had just been beaten.

“Johnny, do you understand where you are?” Brian asked calmly as Johnny noticed the man observing him. “You are in your room, you just woke from a deep sleep, and you are completely safe. Do you understand that, Johnny?” Brian continued as Johnny watched him, breathing sporadically through his flared nostrils.

Johnny had a slight recollection of the events that had transpired the night before; however, he had no idea how Brian got in his room, or where his father was.

“Johnny, I stayed in your room to sleep this morning on the floor. Do you remember that?” Johnny looked at the blankets and pillow on the floor as everything began to come back to him. He didn’t even ask, he knew his father wasn’t there, he hadn’t been beaten, and Brian had stayed in his room in case anything strange happened. He felt his gym shorts, and was relieved to find they were dry.

“What time is it, Brian?” Johnny asked as he used his bed to lift himself up off the floor. He then felt his watch snagging the bedsheets and looked for himself.

“It’s nearly eleven thirty, Johnny. Our private appointment with Dr. Evans is at three o’clock, sharp.”

One thing that hadn’t come back to him quite yet was the appointment that Johnny had agreed to go to.

“Are you okay, Johnny?”

“Yea, I think so.”

“Johnny, there will be an investigating officer there as well, and he will be compiling a report. It will be a slow process, but their job will be to obtain information about what happened, would you like to attempt to discuss what happened with me, prior to talking to Dr. Evans or the officer?”

“What if…what if he finds out where I am?” Johnny asked Brian with fear in his voice.

“Johnny, your case will more than likely result in criminal charges brought against all involved in your abuse. You needn’t worry about your father hurting you in any way, now is the time to heal. Focus on healing, Johnny.”

“I gotta talk to them today? What if I’m not ready to talk to them today? I’m not ready,” Johnny said as he sat down on his bed.

“Johnny, I am unfamiliar with your case, so I’m unsure of a timeline regarding events. I can tell you that there is a limited amount of time that the authorities have to file charges for certain crimes. We need to start this ball rolling if there is to be justice for what has taken place. I need you to understand that you will never be alone in this process because there is always going to be someone there with you.” Brian’s words seemed genuine as the man calmly sat back down on the floor, looking up at Johnny.

“I was outta line when my father got on to me, but Uncle Doug. I hate that dude.” As Johnny said this, he folded his hands and looked at the floor. He felt belittled even thinking about the atrocities that took place. He understood that he needed to discuss what had happened, but he literally didn’t understand how to. “He had a fun box. He brought it over all the time until he stopped coming. Then one day outta nowhere he just showed up to meet Jacob. He hurt Jake pretty bad. Mom left with him the next day.” Johnny’s words tasted like vile poison as they left his mouth. Hearing himself talk about such business out loud was something he wasn’t quite ready for.

“Johnny, if your father is the person responsible for the extensive abuse you have obviously suffered, then he is to be held accountable as well. Disciplinary action and abuse are two entirely different things. Now, let me ask you, when was the last time you remember Uncle Doug visiting you specifically at your father’s residence?”

“It feels like it was only a few nights ago, maybe the night before last, but I know that ain’t right. I think the last time he came to see only me I was in fifth grade, I think I was twelve,” Johnny said as he choked on the confusion stemming from his attempted recollection. Johnny looked at Brian, wondering what he would say. He didn’t understand why Doug did what he did, he only knew how it made him feel. He had hated the man for years, and that hate had long been festering in his heart.

“If you were twelve, then there still might be time to file charges and pursue justice. Johnny, what do you mean it seems like only a night or two ago?” As Brian asked, Johnny had a great sense of urgency to acquire at least some insight into why his mind was playing tricks on him, he wanted answers.

“Sometimes it seems like I can’t tell if what just happened, just happened, or if it happened before, like a long time before. It happens a lot when I wake up, but sometimes it just happens at any time, I think.” Johnny tried his best to explain what he felt was going on, although his description made little sense to him, he hoped Brian could decipher what he meant.

“Johnny, do you ever feel as if you were just recently with your father, even though you know that can’t physically be possible?” Johnny looked at Brian, trying to find the right words to offer an effective description.

“Yes.”

“Johnny, I believe, from what I have witnessed, that you are suffering from a condition that several people in your position have suffered. The human mind can only handle so much, and then it seems to take its own path. Understand this may not be normal, but it is common in this situation, and it can be treated.”

Brian’s words were like music to Johnny’s ears, even though he didn’t seem to understand completely what the man was saying exactly. In Johnny’s mind, past and present seemed like a radical mixture that not only overlapped, but intertwined into a mass of absolute confusion.

“Now, Johnny, how about you get showered and dressed, and I will talk with Graye about getting you a healthy breakfast to start your day,” Brian said kindly as Johnny continued to sit on his bed. The boy was obviously nervous by the idea of being examined by a doctor, and not understanding completely what the process entailed was unsettling as well.

“I know you’re nervous, Johnny, but in order to heal properly the human body and mind must first address the underlying issues; otherwise, it’s as if we are placing a band-aid over a broken bone. Make sense?” Brian placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder in a comforting manner.

“You’ll be there the whole time, won’t ya?” Johnny asked in a nervous and anxious voice.

“I will not be in the examination room itself, but I will be right outside with both Jackson and Graye. We will all be there. With your permission, the physician will discuss her findings, her medical opinion, and treatment options, if needed. We will also be present when you speak with the investigating officer; you needn’t worry about doing this alone. We will all be there to whatever degree you want us to be.”

Johnny knew this was only one of many steps he would have to take to understand what was going on with his head. The night before only proved to Johnny how much the Everett family actually loved and cared for him. He knew that if he wanted a shot at maintaining this unity, and becoming a permanent part of the family, he would need to address several painful and traumatizing factors.

“I think I can do it,” the boy said as he looked at Brian with a new sense of determination.

“Well, now that’s the spirit! And I absolutely know you can do this, Johnny, I have witnessed several clients in my practice overcome despicable obstacles and blossom into productive and healthy individuals, and we are going to make sure yours is a story of success as well, okay?”

Brian’s words were certainly motivating, and they resulted in a small smile and a simple nod from the boy.