Authors: Laura Gibson
Chapter Nine
Charleston, West Virginia
October 1st, 2008
Rachel
Rachel sat in the restaurant feeling more than a little uncomfortable about the whole thing. She hadn’t really spoken to Ryan since she had met Kelly and she wasn’t sure how she felt about her relationship now. It was a new relationship and already there was too much drama for her to process.
Rachel didn’t have time for drama. She just wanted to exist in the same spot she had always been and not worry about the rest of the world. Was that so terribly wrong?
Rachel cleared her throat and smoothed the napkin on her lap, intent on enjoying herself on this date with Ryan. She liked Ryan. So why did she have to keep reminding herself that she wanted to be there?
Why couldn’t she just take Melody’s word for it and not think about Kelly again? Why did everything seem to come back to Kelly lately? It made absolutely no sense. She barely knew the guy and what she did know should scare her away for good.
According to Melody someone had died because of him. That spelled bad news no matter which way you looked at it. So why did Rachel want to pursue the line of thought? Why did she feel like there was more of a story there? There wasn’t and if there really was, why did Rachel have to find out what it was? It wasn’t like it was going to change anything.
She had come here on date with Ryan and she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Not her boyfriend’s messed up cousin. But the guy she frequently and fondly referred to as her own personal Adonis.
“
So, how’s Melody?” Ryan asked, no doubt sensing Rachel’s mind was somewhere else.
“
She’s fine.” Rachel smiled, picking at her salad, not feeling an appetite. Rachel sighed, “She needs to concentrate more on her school work and less on the male population, but that’s Melody so…” Rachel laughed as her voice trailed off.
Couldn’t Rachel give herself that same advice? She had never ventured out to try and make friends before, she had always been too caught up in what she could be doing to make her family proud of her and now that she had accidently stumbled into some friendships she had started to let some of her classes slip. Well, not so much slip as she just wasn’t as far ahead in them as she would have liked to be.
Ryan laughed and agreed with Rachel. “Yeah, that sounds like Melody. I can’t believe she’s with Jefferson now. That’s so weird.”
That pricked Rachel’s interest more than the casual conversation they had been sharing up until that point. “Why is that weird?”
“I don’t know, because Jefferson usually doesn’t go for the vapid and shallow type, I guess.” Ryan shrugged, “I mean, he didn’t used to.”
“
Well that’s a little harsh to say.” Rachel felt the need to defend her friend. But hadn’t she had the same thoughts before? Wasn’t Melody just a little bit shallow? Yes. But that didn’t make her a bad person. Or any less of a person. So why did Ryan say it like it was an insult?
“
Meh.” Ryan made a motion with his hand. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. She dated my cousin for a year before he broke it off with her. I think I know her pretty well.”
“
Your cousin?” Rachel frowned, the conversation had come to the topic she wanted to discuss but was trying so hard not to bring up.
“
Yeah, Kelly.” Ryan nodded. “She was really into him until he went full crazy on everybody.”
“
I met Kelly the other day.” Rachel decided not to hide the fact from Ryan, “When you were with Jefferson.”
Something flashed across Ryan’s face but he smoothed it away, not showing the emotion that wanted to escape. “Jefferson just needed a friend. I figured Kelly could fend for himself.”
“Well he looked pretty normal to me.” Rachel continued, trying to sound as calm about the whole thing as she possibly could.
She didn’t know that Melody had dated Kelly. Why hadn’t she mentioned it? Unless it was something she didn’t want Rachel to know. Unless it was something that was still an issue.
“Well, yeah, he looks alright right now, but he’s probably not the best person to be friends with. He’s got some issues he has to work through.” Ryan was more forthcoming with information about Kelly than Melody was and Rachel decided to try and press her luck.
“
Do these issues happen to involve Jefferson?” She took a sip of her water and stared at Ryan for any hint of him hiding something.
“
Surprisingly, yes.” Ryan laughed, “They grew up together. If you wanted to find one of them, you could always rely on the other to know where they were. It was just sort of a thing. There are best friends and then there’s Kelly and Jefferson. It could get little annoying sometimes.”
“
What happened?” Rachel asked, trying to sound more concerned than curious.
“
Kelly’s sister died.” Ryan took a sip of his own water. “Drug overdose, I guess. And then Kelly went off the deep end.”
Rachel felt her frown melt into true concern. How painful that must have been. She tried to imagine what it would feel like if Ethan died and all she could think about was what she would wear to the funeral, “That’s awful.”
“Yeah,” Ryan nodded, his own face showing signs of conflict, “When Anna died, Kelly disappeared. He blamed Jefferson for Anna’s death and no one saw him again for three months. When he resurfaced he was strung out on multiple drugs and his parents didn’t know what to do with him. So they shipped him off here, because apparently being here is better than being there.”
“
Why does Kelly blame Jefferson for Anna’s death?” Rachel asked, knowing her luck was running out. Soon, very soon, Ryan was going to stop talking about Kelly.
“
That’s the question, isn’t it?” Ryan stared at his glass of water and let half a laugh escape his lips, “That’s what everyone wants to know.”
“
What do you think?” Rachel leaned forward, hoping she would get an answer.
“
It’s hard to say.” Ryan sniffed, “I mean, Anna and Jefferson had always had a thing, but Anna was obsessed with Jefferson. Like straight on, stalker obsessed. I don’t know. Jefferson’s a good guy. I don’t think it’s his fault.”
Rachel nodded. “I feel bad for Kelly.”
“Don’t worry about Kelly; he can take care of himself. Has been since forever.” Ryan tried to give Rachel a reassuring smile but she didn’t feel it.
“
Still. That has to be hard. Losing your sister and your best friend, I can only imagine what he must be going through. And now that best friend is dating his ex-girlfriend. Talk about drama.” Rachel looked down at her napkin. There was that word again. Drama. Why did it seem like her world was filled with nothing but that lately?
“
Eh. Kelly’s over Melody. Really. After everything went down with Anna, Kelly and Melody had a really huge fight and they’ve hated each other ever since.” Finally Ryan asked the question Rachel knew was coming, “Why are you so curious about Kelly?”
Rachel shrugged and tried to play it cool, “He was nice to me, I guess. I don’t know.”
Ryan laughed and gave her one of his dashing smiles, “Trust me, darling, you want to stay away from Kelly, he’s bad news.”
Hartford, Connecticut
May 14th 2010
Ethan
Ethan pushed the sweaty curls of golden hair out his face and wiped up the excess fluid from around the crack in his radiator with a black shop rag.
He sighed heavily and picked up a flat head screw driver and started to score the edges around the crack, hoping he wasn’t going to further damage the old part.
He applied the JB Weld and again prayed for a miracle.
He needed his van to be able to go on the trip cross country and he needed the trip more than he’d like to admit.
His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he ignored it, knowing it would just be his mom. Or his aunt. Or one of those overly pushy church ladies that always seemed to want to give his family casseroles.
“Looks good.” Logan’s voice sounded from behind him and Ethan turned around to greet his old friend with a lopsided grin.
“
It’ll have to do.” He managed to sound more confident than he felt in that moment. It was always up to Ethan to be the nonchalant one. The one that had no fears and all the answers.
He was Ethan Gunn, and he knew exactly what that meant.
The soft summer breeze cooled his brow and he tried not to think of what it was going to be like, leaving this place and going back home.
He hadn’t been back there in years, and now, he had decided to spend three whole months there.
Not really like he had a choice, Ethan relented, mom was becoming unbearable and he just needed some time to figure things out. Figure things out. Ethan sighed; he made it seem so simple.
“
Is Kell coming tonight, or are we on our own?” Ethan knew Kelly wouldn’t be there, he wasn’t really the moral support type of guy, but sometimes it was nice to have people on your side, cheering you on.
Logan shrugged, trying to look passive, but the darkening of his brow said it all, “Nah man, he said something about having other stuff to do.”
Ethan tried not to look too disappointed, it wasn’t supposed to be in his nature to care about these things, he was supposed to be the happy carefree one, the one that did whatever he wanted and didn’t worry about the little stuff that could potentially hold him back.
Well, that was all nice in theory, but Ethan had come to the realization he couldn’t really live his life that way, not really.
He wanted more than what he had given himself. He wanted to be the type of person his parents could be proud of.
Ethan wasn’t sure when it had exactly started, but there was a different sort of feeling in his chest, a kind of drive that his mom had never really pushed out of him, one his father had berated him for not having.
He wanted to stop being Ethan, the sloppy, underprepared brother, and he just wanted to be Ethan. He wanted to grow up.
It had really started two years ago, when Rachel got kicked out of Phillips and immediately cashed in all her credits for an early graduation.
That’s when Ethan knew he had screwed up.
If Rachel could do it, why didn’t he?
So Ethan got a job. Not a fancy job, just one at a local diner.
But it was a good start and he felt like he was actually accomplishing something.
Logan and Kelly had always encouraged him, but Kelly was always on the fringe of the group, the one that hung around, but was never really a part of it.
Ethan bought the van with his own money he had made from the diner and spent nights trying desperately to get it to run.
Thankfully, his efforts always seemed to pay off when he put it towards his baby and he was proud.
It was almost like a boost in confidence.
Then his dad had called him.
‘
Get your G.E.D.’ were the orders Ethan received before noticing a slim envelope in the mail from his father.
A check to pay for the classes and tests.
Ethan was skeptical at first but he cashed it and decided, for the first time, to actually listen to his father.
Now.
Well, now it was the night to take the last big test. The one that would tell him whether or not he was going to get his G.E.D.
He had asked Logan and Kelly to wait for him outside, to maybe celebrate if he got it... or get flat out wasted if he didn’t.
“Well, maybe he’ll show up, anyways.” Ethan flashed another grin. He decided to change the subject, talking about their next big move. The trip his mom begged him not to go on.
It was going to be the last thing Ethan attempted before he settled down for mediocrity- the last big thing to prove to his dad that he hadn’t wasted his life away, which, to be honest, he pretty much had.
“Got everything ready to go?” Ethan asked, his throat dry from the summer heat and his own anxiety regarding all the upcoming events.
Logan made a face, “I think the beast could use a couple more test runs.”
Ethan felt the sweat on the back of his tee shirt cool and stick to his skin; it was uncomfortable and refreshing all at the same time.
“
We’ll see what happens.” Ethan said, getting into the fridge and looking for something eat.
He heard Logan sigh and had to laugh, “Logan, it’s alright, we’re gonna do just fine.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, “That’s what you said last time.”
“
How was I supposed to know the radiator was cracked?” Ethan asked, incredulous.
The last time they had tried to drive the van anywhere it had broken down in front of biker bar no one had ever heard of. That day was full of an unusual amount of miscommunications and shenanigans.
All three friends had ended up being banned from the bar and Kelly had to spend the night in jail. It was not something they looked back on fondly.
Logan poured himself a glass of lemonade and took a seat at the island in the kitchen. He stared at his glass and didn’t say anything for a long time. “I mean, I know we have to.” His voice was lower, “It’s just. What about Kelly?”
Ethan met Logan’s worried expression head on, ready to combat any other protest that might come from his best friend's mouth.
But none came; they just sat there in silence, letting the hum of the air conditioning unit drone on in the background.
Both of them were thinking about the upcoming trip and the things Kelly had told them just the other night.
Kelly had never met Rachel, or at least, not the Rachel Ethan called his sister.
He had always been upstate visiting family whenever Rachel would come around and so when he finally saw a picture of her, he was shocked, if not completely floored.
That’s when it all came out.
That’s when Ethan knew that his sister wasn't really his sister anymore. She was a different sort of creature, she had become secretive. But she wasn’t different. Was she? Rachel had always had her own way of doing things.
He knew that if Rachel wanted him to know, she would have told him, so he decided not to bring it up. To pretend like he didn’t know anything, but it was harder than he originally thought.
The entire scandal had flipped in front of his eyes and he understood why Phillips kicked her out, and why she didn’t fight it.
But for the time being, he still had to be Ethan. Charming, happy-go-lucky Ethan. The sloppy older brother that could never get his life together, because then she would feel comfortable and then maybe she would tell him.
Ethan took a sip of his own lemonade and looked out the kitchen window, at the wind chimes Rachel had made when she was four and still attempting to be creative.
The watercolor paint was chipping off most of the glass pieces Rachel had strung together but there was enough to send sparkles of light cascading on and around the window sill.
Ethan took another sip of the lemonade and tried to hide his disappointment with everything.
He had to do better this time around, he just had to. It wasn’t just him he was trying for anymore, was it? He was Ethan Gunn, damn it, and it was time he started behaving like it.
Ethan’s left hand balled into an angry fist at his side and he tried to hide the scowl growing on his dirty face, but he knew there was no use. Logan had already seen everything, had already known everything, before Ethan ever had a chance to live it down, before Ethan ever had a chance to digest any of it.
So what was the use in hiding it?
When Kelly had first finished his tale Ethan had slugged him as hard as he could. What other impulse was he supposed to have?
Kelly had said repeatedly that he had tried to protect Rachel, but he didn’t. He had failed. He was a failure and Rachel had to pay for it.
Now, they had barely spoken and Ethan wanted to know just what was going through that man’s head, thinking it was okay to let Rachel make the decisions for everyone. Thinking after everything that happened she was in the right frame of mind to think logically.
Ethan shook his head and tried not to let the anger get the best of him. But it boiled deep and he knew it was only a matter of time before it came out again.