Kiss And Dwell (31 page)

The fear on her face was palpable, but Ryan had no idea whether it was due to
the height, or to the fact that she was telling him to go to Celeste. He
swallowed and nearly groaned out loud from his desire to reach out to her, hold
her, stroke that lovely golden hair beneath his palm. But he could do none of
those things, so he didn
’
t make a move. Even though he could touch her, she
’
d
said no. And phantom sex had been great, but what if he did cross, and he never
knew what it felt like to really stroke her hair, massage her flesh, kiss her
lips? He examined those green-gold eyes, and the tinge of pink forming on her
cheeks.

“
You need sunscreen,
”
he said automatically.
“
You all do.
”
He
’
d seen the three
roofer girls lathering up in SPF 30 already, but had set about his own task
before making sure Monique and her family did the same. Though the slate was
actually cool to the touch, the sun beating down from above was another story
entirely. In spite of the deceivingly cool breeze, that sun would waste no time
burning Monique
’
s silky skin. The thought of her hurting, in any way, even if
only a sunburn, didn
’
t sit well with Ryan.

Looking taken aback, she responded,
“
I always wear sunscreen. And everyone else
put it on, too.
”
She gave him a soft smile, that heart-shaped mouth lifting up
at one corner.
“
We
’
re used to working outside on the house. It
’
s a weekend
ritual,
”
she informed him, then added,
“
but it
’
s very nice of you to remind me.
”

She was lower than him on the roof
’
s slope and leaned forward when she spoke
.

The action threw her off balance a bit and she wobbled then caught herself by
placing her palms against the roof.

Ryan reflexively reached for her, hoping to steady her and praying that she
didn
’
t fall. She avoided his outstretched hand, then her eyes filled as she
shook her head.
“
Thanks, but I
’
ve got it.
”

Hell, would she actually allow herself to fall off a roof before breaking that
no-touching rule and reaching for him?

Ryan grimaced and grabbed another tile. He wanted to nail something. He wanted
to hurt something. No, the truth was, he wanted to touch something—Monique. In
fact, he wanted to press her against him and kiss her senseless, then he wanted
to experience her body beneath him, more than merely in his mind, to feel her
open to him completely and to push inside, to become a part of her and have her
become a part of him.

“
Ryan,
”
she said, after he finished with the tile.

He didn
’
t want to turn around, didn
’
t want to have to watch her make the
request, but he did want to look at her, so he braced his heart and turned
.

“
Yeah?
”

“
I need to ask you something,
”
she continued, her voice a little softer since
the blond roofer, steadily popping her tiles into place with breakneck speed,
had moved closer and paused working to replenish the nails in her gun. The
result was an eerie silence, with only the faint echo of nails popping against
tiles on the other side of the house, where the remainder of the family and the
other two roofers were busy installing the slate.

Ryan waited until the blonde started the big red gun again before he looked
directly at Monique and said what he had to say.
“
You want me to spend today
with Celeste.
”
Then he added,
“
No, I
’
ll go one better. You want me to fall
hopelessly in love with her, so I can cross over. Is that what you were going to
say, Monique?
”

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Then she visibly swallowed and nodded
.

“
Yes.
”

“
You
’
re trying to manipulate my future,
”
he said.
“
What if I don
’
t want to
cross? What if I want to stay here?
”

With you
.

He could practically see her mind churning as she tried to choose the right
words. This should be good. What would she say? I can
’
t give you what you want,
but I know someone who can.

“
It
’
s supposed to be incredible there,
”
she said, sounding as though she were
trying to convince herself, instead of him.
“
On the other side. Everything
you
’
ve ever wanted, everything you
’
ve ever dreamed of.
”

“
You going to be there?
”
he asked, before he could stop the words from slipping
past his mouth.

The gold in her eyes glistened in the sunlight, and Ryan
’
s chest clenched as he
realized that she was on the verge of tears.

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
he said.

“
I
’
m not. I want you, too,
”
she admitted.
“
But we can
’
t. And from everything
Dax
has said about Celeste, I think that there may be more to her staying in the
middle than helping Chloe. I
’
m sure she wanted to help Chloe, but I also think
she was meant to stay for another reason entirely.
”
She looked away from Ryan,
focused on the brittle old tile beneath her palms.
“
I think she was meant to
stay for you, so the two of you could do what you need to do to cross over.
”

“
We haven
’
t done the last step,
”
he said.
“
And don
’
t count on it, Monique. I
like Celeste. During this week we
’
ve become friends. But that
’
s it.
”

A ladder banged against the roof
’
s edge to their left, and the thing creaked
loudly before Tristan emerged above the edge. He nodded in their direction and
called out above the echoing nail guns.
“
That
’
s Ryan, I take it?
”

Monique nodded. She knew he couldn
’
t see Ryan, but she still proceeded with
introductions.
“
Tristan, this is Ryan
Chappelle
. Ryan, this is my cousin
Tristan.
”

“
I know,
”
Ryan said.
“
Tell him hello for me please,
”
to which Monique relayed,
“
He asked me to tell you hello.
”

Ryan swallowed. He could help her family, but he couldn
’
t even communicate with
them directly. Couldn
’
t communicate with them, couldn
’
t touch her, couldn
’
t do
lots of things he desperately wanted to do. Damn, he hadn
’
t realized the central
realm was so dismal until meeting Monique. However, he
’
d met her now, and he
knew that it was. Maybe he should go ahead and cross and get it over with. But
there was that pesky matter of learning to love. However, Ryan had the sneaking
suspicion he was eerily close to accomplishing that requirement, though not with
Celeste.

“
Monique, I brought you a bundle of tiles to set you up for this section. That
way Ryan can keep an eye on you and make sure you
’
re okay while you work.
”
He
turned his head toward the place where Ryan held his nail gun and evidently
tried to judge the approximate location of Ryan
’
s face.
“
That okay by you,
Ryan?
”
he asked.

“
Tell him it
’
s fine,
”
Ryan instructed.

“
Yes, it
’
s fine,
”
Monique said.

“
And thanks for fixing that tarp last week,
”
Tristan added.
“
You saved the
place, you know. We really appreciate it.
”

“
No problem,
”
Ryan mumbled, frustrated he couldn
’
t simply talk to the guy.

Monique shot him a look of pity that made Ryan want to yell, then she answered,
“
He says it wasn
’
t a problem.
”

Tristan grinned, nodded again, then climbed back down the ladder, while Ryan
realized how wretched his current situation was. He couldn
’
t have the woman he
wanted, couldn
’
t cross over and couldn
’
t communicate with anyone who breathed,
except Monique, who he couldn
’
t touch. Hell, could things get any worse?

“
Will you spend some time with Celeste today?
”
Monique asked.
“
And try to get to
the last step? Friends do become lovers, you know. It happens all the time.
”

Yes, Ryan realized, things could get worse. But rather than pointing that out,
since it wouldn
’
t do a damn bit of good, he nodded.
“
If that
’
s what you want,
then sure, I will.
”

He waited, knowing he
’
d placed the ball in her court. Would it be so terrible
for her to admit that she didn
’
t want him to see Celeste or any other female,
spirit or not? Would Monique tell him that she wanted him right now as much as
he wanted her?

“
That
’
s what I want,
”
she said.

And there was his answer.

“
Consider it done.
”
He turned his back to the woman who, with four small words,
had effectively hurt him more than anything he
’
d ever experienced in life, or
death.

“
Do you want to talk?
”
she asked.

“
There
’
s nothing left to say.
”
He grabbed the next tile and vigorously nailed it
into place, then moved onto another, never looking back. He sensed her retreat,
though, and listened to her edge her way to the section of roof that Tristan had
prepared for her.

When he heard the first pop of a nail gun in her direction, he cast a quick
glance to make sure she was holding the thing correctly and that she knew what
she was doing. He
’
d never forgive himself if he let her get hurt. But Monique
was no stranger to work, and apparently no stranger to a nail gun. She had her
first row of tiles positioned and secured in no time, then moved to the next
row, keeping her eyes focused on the task instead of on the ghost currently
staring a hole through the female he wanted more than life. And for a dead guy
to want anything more than life was really saying something.

But he did.

* * *

By the time
Jenee
called everyone down for lunch, nearly one-third of the roof
sported new blue-gray tiles. Monique was exhausted, partly because she hadn
’
t
taken a break since she and Ryan talked earlier, and partly because she hadn
’
t
slept much all week, deciding instead to spend the majority of her nights with
him. And what if, by keeping him from Celeste at night, she
’
d kept them from
getting to the intimate stage of their relationship? Part of her was glad they
hadn
’
t got there, but another part felt she might have ruined his chance to
cross over—forever.

“
Are you coming down for lunch?
”
she called to him as she placed her nail gun
against the nearest board and removed her tool belt. She waited for a response
.

None came. Then she looked at him, and his bemused look didn
’
t make sense, until
she realized what she
’
d done.

“
Sorry,
”
she said, swallowing past a hard lump in her throat. Ghosts didn
’
t eat,
didn
’
t sleep. Why would he need to come down for lunch?
“
Do you want to at least
take a break and come sit with us?
”
she asked, then shook her head again. The
remainder of the family couldn
’
t see him or talk to him, either.
“
Oh, Ryan,
forgive me,
”
she said, but he simply shrugged.