Last Song (Chasing Cross Book Five) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (rockstar contemporary romance) (11 page)

“My father was an
alcoholic,” Sarah said. “He used to have
just
one
. Then he would end up hurting himself or someone else.”

“You?” Rick asked.

“You can guess,” Sarah
said. “My mother never did anything about it. She went along for the ride I guess
you can say... because one night my father got drunk and refused to let her
drive him home. That was the night he misjudged a turn and crashed the car,
killing himself and my mother.”

Rick’s face turned white.
He swallowed and blinked.

“Sarah...”

“So for me to go out and
have a beer or two and watch a guy I know play in a band... that’s fun. To see
someone turn into something I swore I’d never be around, that’s a waste of my
time.”

Sarah wrapped the leash
around her hand and then started to walk. Rick touched her arm and she stopped.

“You know I didn’t know
that,” Rick said. “I’m really sorry.”

“Me too, Rick, me too.”

Sarah walked away and
didn’t look back. She was sorry. Sorry for the circumstances she had to face at
such a young age with her parents’ death and sorry for Rick, because as far as
she was concerned their first kiss was their last kiss.

(12)

Rick didn’t want to sit.
Actually, he couldn’t sit. His nerves were shaking. The rest of the band
lingered throughout the bar as they did the week before, but for Rick there
were two things different. First, he was alone. No Sarah, no Sarah’s friend, no
company, which was mostly Rick’s fault because if it wasn’t Sarah bothering
him, he didn’t want to be bothered. The second thing different was that Rick
drank water. Water with lemon in it. When he gave the order to the bartender,
he smiled and asked Rick what else he’d like. The bartender assumed the water
was a chaser for something stronger.

It wasn’t.

With nobody to explain
his feelings to, Rick stayed in seclusion all of Thursday night and Friday
morning and afternoon. He literally twisted the cap off every beer in the
garage, took a sip, telling himself it was okay to drink a beer or two, but
then guilt would come over him and he’d smash the bottle. The cycle continued
over and over until it was time to load up his drums and meet his band.

The second Rick arrived
at the bar, his mouth watered. This was part of the gig, wasn’t it? Practice
hard, get a show, rock the show, and party. That’s what Chasing Cross did for
years when they moved to California. They didn’t need to go out and beg fans to
come find them. They just played show after show, until the fans found them on
their own. The true Chasing Cross fans packed every place the band played. They
spilled into streets, stopped traffic, and gained the attention of police. When
Peter and record companies met it wasn’t Peter selling the band to them, it was
the record companies selling themselves to Peter. Whoever could get the debut
album done the best, along with a major tour, won. That’s exactly how it
happened. For Rick, it was like playing a bar one night for a few hundred
people and then next night playing for ten thousand.

Rick finished his water
and walked away from the bar. The last band before them was about to take the
stage. Rick found Nick and pulled him to the side.

“What’s up, Rick?” Nick
asked, his eyes glazed and body loose.

It made Rick jealous. He
wanted to feel that way.

“You didn’t see anyone
here looking for me, did you?” Rick asked.

Nick smiled. “No, man.
You waiting for the pretty girl again?”

“I invited her,” Rick
said. “But I don’t know if she can come this week.”

“If I know you, Rick,
you’ll make her come...”

They laughed and Nick
went back to his drink and his guests.

Rick watched the band
play. They were entirely a cover band, but it worked because it got the crowd
moving and excited for Rick’s band. The bar was packed more this week than the
week before. Rick stuck to the walls to make his way around the place and he noticed
the more people drank the more they wanted to be near him. That meant
autographs, pictures, and seeing a lot of Chasing Cross t-shirts. Rick went
with the motions, keeping the fans happy, dodging questions, laughing,
flirting, even taking a few cameras and taking pictures of people without him,
enjoying the freedom he had even though it came with that sense of emptiness in
his heart.

The time came for the
band to get on stage and finish setting up their equipment. Everyone in the
band had a drink, but Rick had a bottle of water and Jackie quickly called it
out.

“Not sure how I feel
tonight,” Rick said. “That’s all. I’d hate to make things worse with a drink or
two.”

“Just don’t go soft on
us,” Jackie said.

“Nobody is soft,” Rick
said.

The band finished setting
up and Rick got behind the kit. He felt at home sitting with drumsticks in his
hands, a crowd in front of him. Granted, if he stood and reached he could poke
the ceiling with the drumstick, but it didn’t matter. The people in the bar
were his. They were there to see Rick and his new band play.

And they played.

They were more on point
than last week or at least that’s how Rick felt. Sobriety gave him a greater
sense of coordination. He added fills and beats, and just fell in love with the
idea of drumming and playing. Even when each song came to an end, he added a
little extra beat to get the crowd excited. As far as Rick cared it didn’t
matter whether it was two hundred people, two thousand people, or two hundred
thousand people. They were there for a show. It didn’t matter they didn’t pay
to see Rick or that Rick wouldn’t get a dime for the show.
They were there for a show...

Rick and his new band
played for well over an hour. They had captured the attention of everyone so
much that when it was over out, the owner joked with Nick that the band should
be paying him because nobody bought drinks while the band played. They were too
focused on the band. That was a great feeling. Andy ordered a round of shots
for the band and passed them out. He then announced to everyone if they wanted
to take a shot with the drummer from Chasing Cross, they needed to get their
ass in gear and join in. In a matter of minutes, any lost revenue from people
watching Rick’s band was quickly made up. There had to be a group of a hundred
people all ready to take a shot with Rick. He stared at the clear liquid, but
could only picture Sarah’s face when she told him about her father. The vodka
would give him a few minutes of enjoyment, but Sarah could possibly give him
everything.

Nick counted. On three,
everyone threw their head back, including Rick. He dumped the shot behind him
and put the glass to his lips. He tasted the residue of vodka and it made his
heart race. The crowd cheered and the night continued. Rick managed to stick
with water and the more he watched the band and the patrons of the bar drink
and sink deeper into their own world, the more he felt alone. He stared at the
door and he thought about two things that just wouldn’t leave his mind. First
on that list was Sarah. He just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Then there
was the other thing... and that was Johnnie.

Damn, he missed Chasing
Cross.

**

After a four day stint
through Seattle and back down into California, Johnnie welcomed the actual
weekend off from playing and touring. Better yet, he loved the fact that Jess
would be on a plane early Saturday morning and would be in his arms, in his
bed, by Saturday night. She’d fly out on Monday and the band would fly to
Texas.

The shows had become
longer, more powerful, and as much as Johnnie didn’t want to get lost in it
all, they had become fun. Really fun. Luke was a spark of life and energy that
Johnnie hadn’t seen coming. In fact, the entire Fallen Tuesday band was fun and
energetic. They knew their time had come and they knew sticking it out as the
opening band on tour with Chasing Cross would pay off real soon. It was easy
for some bands to garner their own ego and demand a headlining spot so it took
a lot of respect, patience, and character to continue to sit back and wait it
out.

Luke was a true rockstar.
He took the stage night after night to sing with Fallen Tuesday and then went
backstage to stretch and prepare for a long set of drumming with Chasing Cross.
He never complained. Even on the rare nights when he was obviously dead tired
and annoyed, he gave the fans their money’s worth. Sometimes he played so good
Johnnie wanted to steal him from Fallen Tuesday, but Chasing Cross still used
the same original recording with Rick’s voice to open their show. Yet no
contact had been made. It seemed everyone - including Rick - was dragging their
feet. Like everyone was too afraid to hear the truth, to face it, and figure
out life after the truth. Johnnie didn’t want Rick to be gone for good but he
knew there was no way in hell Luke could tour like he was forever. The time
would come for Fallen Tuesday to split from the Chasing Cross tour and sell out
arenas on their own.

That was why, on their
first actual day off in weeks, Johnnie went to talk to Chris. When he got
there, Danny and Davey were there, laying down some new tracks. They were just
enjoying themselves while Chris sat behind long boards of recording equipment,
looking lost and confused.

“What’s happening?”
Johnnie asked he took a seat in a leather chair. “You look pissed.”

“Tired,” Chris said.

“That’s touring.”

“More than just touring,
Johnnie.”

“Trouble? Everything okay
in North Carolina?”

Chris looked at Johnnie.
“North Carolina is perfect. Becky is great. She’s helping at her family’s
bakery all week this week. They sucked her in because they have some kind of
big party or something. I can’t wait to get back there for a few days.”

“Soon enough,” Johnnie
said. “I have Jess flying in for this weekend.” Johnnie paused for a second,
listening to his little brother and Davey play guitar. “You do know that Fallen
Tuesday is going to be huge, right?”

“They are huge,” Chris
said. “And that’s great.”

“Leaves me wondering
about us,” Johnnie said.

“About Rick?”

“Of course.”

“Well... I don’t want to
cause a stir, but I have something to show you.”

Chris tossed his cell
phone to Johnnie and told him to look at the video. Johnnie was not sure what
to expect. At first he saw a blurry small bar crowd. Johnnie hoped Rick hadn’t
got himself into some kind of trouble and gotten hurt.

The video stayed blurry
but the purpose of the video became apparent.

Rick had a band. The band
wasn’t very good but they weren’t bad. Johnnie recognized some of the other
guys in the band. They were old friends from other bands they had all met
throughout the years.

“Wow,” Johnnie said. “He
has a band, huh?”

“He has a band,” Chris
said. “Doesn’t make sense to me. He left because he didn’t want to do it
anymore, right? But he goes somewhere else and does it.”

“He didn’t want the big
tour,” Johnnie said. “But there’s always more to it.”

More to it.

Johnnie knew that from
the second everything happened.

“How’d you find this?”
Johnnie asked.

“I have connections,”
Chris said.

“Where was it done?”

“Why?”

Johnnie stood up.
“Somebody has to talk to him. He won’t answer the calls so I’ll go check out a
show.”

“They play every Friday
night from what I’ve heard,” Chris said.

Johnnie looked at the
clock on the wall. “I guess I better get driving, huh?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Johnnie said. “I
can’t do this, Chris. We can’t go on like this. Maybe if I talk to him I can
get him to agree to meet us, so we can finally figure this out. I’m telling
you, Chris, Luke isn’t going to be able to do these shows like he is. It’s
going to come to an end soon.”

“I know,” Chris said. “I
know.”

Johnnie looked through
the glass at his brother and Davey playing. They were coming up with riff after
riff, solo after solo, working together in perfect harmony like they always
did. Johnnie knew it wasn’t fair to anyone to have this lingering like it was.

“Just don’t say anything
about it,” Johnnie said. “Let me get there and see what happens.”

“No problem,” Chris said.
“Be careful. It’ll be wild if you get recognized.”

“I’m not worried about
that.”

Johnnie had bigger things
to worry about. All those things plagued him the entire time he drove to
Smithsten. He found the small dive bar where Rick would be playing. He wore a
hat, hoping it would cover some of him up. The outside was empty and the inside
didn’t fare much better. Music played through speakers and the stage was being
set up. Johnnie recognized the guys on stage, including Rick, who was setting
up his drum kit. Johnnie froze and leaned against a wall to watch. Chasing
Cross had everything a band and a musician could dream of. They had people who
set equipment up for them. People who took it down, loaded it up on trucks,
drove it to the next city and set it up again, yet here was Rick, now sitting
behind the kit, smacking the snare drum, making sure it was the right sound.

Johnnie respected it as
much as he hated it. If the time came for Chasing Cross to stop touring, they
should all do it together.

The show started a few
minutes later and the band sounded much better live than through a cell phone
video. The first thing Johnnie noticed was that the crowd loved them. They
stopped drinking and they watched the show. It allowed Johnnie to slip by
everyone and find a seat at the very end of the bar. He ordered a soda and the
bartender looked at him as though he knew who Johnnie was, but thankfully he
didn’t say anything. Johnnie left extra gratuity for that and then eyed the
stage.

It pained him a little to
see Rick in such good spirits. He was happy. He was having fun. He enjoyed
himself. Then something else blew him away. Rick drank water in between songs.
In fact, by the time the set ended a little over an hour later, Rick had gone
through two bottles of water.

Water?

The crowd cheered, ready
to take the small bar to the ground. The band came off the front of the stage
to greet their friends and fans. Rick lingered for a few seconds, looking
around. Johnnie knew that look. That was the look of
awe
. The look of standing on a stage and
knowing you had just done something for someone. Whether it was for one person
or an entire sold out arena, that’s what it was all about.

Johnnie stood and stared
at Rick, waiting for the moment to come.

It took a few more
seconds, but it finally happened. Rick looked at Johnnie. Johnnie looked at
Rick. Johnnie nodded...
it
was time to talk
.