Learning to Heal (14 page)

“Merry Christmas.” I’m still distracted by what Jazz might be doing this very second. Will she be staring at her phone thinking of that text and me? Will she be picturing the kiss we shared? I really just want to get in my truck and drive to see her for myself but I restrain myself.

“Mason? Don’t just stand there. Invite her in,” I hear Mom shout and my eyes focus once again on Chanda who’s still smiling.

I move to the side and let her pass. I’m still not paying attention until I shut the door and she’s directly in front of me. “What?” I know my tone is short but I’m really not in the mood.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks like she has a secret she’s dying to tell me. “Nothing. I just wanted to give you your Christmas gift.”

I notice she raises the hand that was behind her back above our heads. Glancing up, I see the mistletoe and get ready to back away. However, it’s too late because I feel her lips on mine before her tongue invades my open mouth. I swiftly back away and wipe my face, ready to rip her a new one, but then another knock at the door sounds. I give her an annoyed look before going to open the door. I try not to feel bad for being a dick and acting like her kiss made me sick, but it did. She’s not Jazz.

Seeing the delivery man standing there with a mechanical clipboard in his hands for me to sign, I shake off my guilt and take it from his hands. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Once I’m finished signing, he goes down the steps. When he comes back he has one large box wrapped in expensive silver and blue paper with an extravagant bow and two small, red envelopes.

“Um. I think you might have the wrong apartment. And when did delivery men work on Christmas morning?”

He smiles and arches a bushy eyebrow. “You Mason Reed?” I nod my head in affirmation. “Well, this is the right place. I am probably the only delivery guy working today, but you’re my only stop. I get an extra Christmas bonus if this is delivered today.” He hands me a card and walks away.

I glance at the package with the two cards before I focus on the card in my hand.

Merry Christmas. Hope it’s wonderful and full of laughter. Since I won’t see you before to give you and your family the gifts, I made arrangements. See you in a few days.

Jazz

I smile and stuff the card in my pocket before I take the gifts inside. Chanda and Mom are talking quietly as I place them on the table. Their eyes widen at the same time.

“What is that?” Mom comes over and rubs her fingers across the blue velvet ribbon.

I look up and see Chanda leaning against the counter with her arms crossed across her chest. I ignore her look and answer Mom’s question. “Jazz arranged for Santa to make an extra stop.”

Looking at the name tag in the pretty wrapped box, I feel something bump into me. I glance down to see Grace staring at the colorful paper and bows, smiling. “Hey, beautiful. Let’s go sit down and see what else Santa brought you.”

Taking her hand, I lead her into the living area again and place the largest box in front of her. I watch as she shreds the expensive looking paper, which is her favorite part. When she’s done I see a brown box so I take it from her while she continues playing with the wrapping. Opening it, I see another note.  

I hope this works. I know how much she loves to swing and this way she can do it rain or shine.

I pull out the paper that shows what’s inside and see some sort of hammock swing with braces for the ceiling or a doorway.

“What is it?” Mom asks from behind. I hand her the paper because I’m speechless. I’m sure this wasn’t cheap and I’m stunned that Jazz would buy something like this for my sister. Grace would spend all day swinging if she could. She loves it and it helps calms her during her outbursts.

“Send it back.” I turn and look at my mom like she’s crazy while she hands me back the paper.

“Why?” I’m not understanding how she can’t see that this is perfect for Grace.

“Maybe because she doesn’t want her charity.” I look at Chanda standing beside Mom with a sneer on her face. Why she thinks she has a right to join the conversation, I don’t know.

I point my finger at her because I’m still pissed from the kiss. “You, butt out.” Looking at my mom I ask again, “Why?”

“It’s too much. I don’t need handouts, neither does Grace. I don’t need some rich girl trying to one up me on supplying for my child.”

“Mom, listen to me. This will help Grace. It’s perfect for her.” I stand up and grab her shoulders so she’ll look at me and hear my words. “You know how much she loves to swing. And if it’s raining she gets really upset because she knows we can’t walk to the playground. It helps her calm down when she’s agitated and gets violent. It will keep her from hurting herself.”

She huffs out a breath and I can feel a victory dance coming along, but I need to push a little harder. “Look. I’ll pay her back, but I think we should keep it. Okay?”

After having a stare down with her, she finally gives in. “Okay,” she whispers and gives me a hug. I watch over Mom’s shoulder as Chanda rolls her eyes and leaves, slamming the door behind her. That is perfectly fine with me. I don’t know why all of a sudden she’s interested. She’s been back home for months and never approached me about starting back where we left off. Honestly, I don’t think I would’ve even if she did.

Christmas day goes on and little while later I finally convince Mom to open her card from Jazz. When she does she sees a spa day gift card at a fancy place downtown. I hope she uses it because she works too hard and deserves a day of pampering. I’m hesitant about opening mine, so I buy time by putting Grace’s swing together. After an hour I finally get it up in her room and sit down to text Jazz again. I haven’t heard from her since this morning and I miss her.

Me: Santa made an extra stop here. Thx. Grace <3’s her swing.
 
 

I stare at the screen for about ten minutes before giving up. Wishing for her to text isn’t going to help. Placing my phone on the coffee table, I walk back to the kitchen to grab another plate of food before Mom puts all of it away. She really outdid herself this Christmas and even brought home a pecan pie from the diner. Add a cup of coffee and my taste buds are in heaven. Taking a sip I hear my phone buzz and almost burn the shit out of myself from trying to run toward it. I really hope it’s Jazz and not someone else. Thankfully, I didn’t burn my tongue in vain. Seeing her name on my screen has me smiling like an idiot. Mom just shakes her head and continues to put the food away.

Jazz: Goodie. I hope ur not mad about yours. U R hard to shop 4.

Now that catches me off guard. Sitting there my eyes land on the red envelope on the table. I’m nervous and excited about what she bought me because I don’t want to read too much into it. But why would I be mad? Standing, I walk over and pick it up. Opening the Christmas card, I see a gift card to Best Buy for a thousand dollars. What the fuck? I can’t accept this. Reading the card I see her note.

Don’t be mad. It’s the least I could do after everything you’re doing for me.

P.S. If you try to give it back I’m setting it on fire in front of you.

I text Jazz and tell her that she’s in trouble and I might put her in an asylum, plus thank you. She doesn’t text back of course, so I decide to call her cute stubborn ass tomorrow and every day after until I get in touch with her. I’m not sure when she plans on coming back to Mobile, so I’ll ride by her place every day until I see her. It can’t hurt.

With my mind made up, I enjoy my time with Grace and my mom. I can tell Mom is still uncomfortable about the gift Jazz gave her, but she’s also excited about getting a spa day. Before I go to sleep, I text Jazz one more time to say goodnight. When my phone lights up, I feel the eagerness build until I see one of my childhood friends name across the screen.

“What’s up, nutsack?” Besides Chanda, Ryan was one of my closest friends growing up. After high school he started working with his uncle at a local mechanic shop while I went to college, which has caused us to grow apart.

“Not much, dipshit. What you doin’ tomorrow? I got a sick new board and want to take it for a spin. Wanna go hit the slab with me and a few others? You know, since you got that big ass nose out of them books maybe we can get you laid.” There are always several girls that hang out at the skate park trying to either score some dope or some dick. Chanda was one of them.

He laughs and I just shake my head even though I know he can’t see me. I’d hate to get him and David in the same room. They’ll either become best friends or worst enemies.

After I agree and hang up, I lay my head down wondering what Jazz is up to. It feels like forever since my lips have touched hers and tasted her or heard that sweet moan that causes my hair to stand up and my dick to rise at attention. With her face the last thing I see behind my eyelids, I have a very vivid dream, which causes me to say fuck it the next morning and sleep in.

The passing days have been just as grey as my mood since I left Dr. Whitney’s office. I decide to keep everything he said to myself for now and just act normal. However, my mom sees through my façade and calls me out. I just blame it on being tired and leave it at that.

I decide to head home the day after Christmas to escape Mom’s inquisitive stare and because Jax took Tru up to Atlanta for a surprise. He bought her son Brian’s headstone, and it’s already been placed with a beautiful flower arrangement to decorate the winter ground. I saw a picture and my heart just broke for Tru all over again when I gazed at the granite and bronze teddy bear swinging beside his name. He even had his footprints placed on it.

Tru believes they’re headed to actually make the down payment and to visit, and I wish I could see her face when she finally sees it. She also took her new baby and other Christmas gifts with her. My brother, being the genius he is, decided to get her a puppy. And not just any puppy, but an African Rhodesian Ridgeback named Hero. He’s so adorable with his big brown eyes and long, coffee colored fur, but I can tell he’s going to be massive when he’s full-grown. His paws are huge. Jax had said he wanted something to scare the shit out of anyone that might be a threat to Tru while he’s in med school the following year. I’m happy for both of them, but jealous at same time too.

I pull into my apartment and decide to forgo getting my bags because honestly I couldn’t give a fuck. If someone wants it that bad, then be my guest. Walking inside the first thing I notice is the poinsettias Mason brought me the night we made our agreement. Noticing they’re dying, I freshen up the water and place them back on the table. The red vibrant colors are beautiful, and I find myself in a daze while I stare at them.
Mason
. His name runs through my mind, and I find myself wanting his company even though I’ve been avoiding him since our dinner. Am I really ready to compromise what we have for sex? Yes, he’s a good kisser but after we cross that line what lies ahead? Will he look at me differently? Will he change his mind about claiming to be the baby’s father? After everything with Oliver I’m just so unsure of myself, especially when it involves me getting naked. My confidence that was already dented is now cracked. No matter how well I dress, that scar feels visible to the world. I’m also scared of the hurt that could follow and ruin this relationship with Mason. He’s become my best friend since Tru spends most of her time with Jax. With the new health issues hanging over my head, I don’t want or need any heartbreak. Literally.