Leave Me Breathless (16 page)

Ben eased back against the couch, his shoulder touching hers. “What do you mean?”

No way she could back down now. “You had to leave the family law bench, right?”

All three stared at her, but only Ben answered. “No.”

She felt as if she were breaking a confidence, but his safety mattered more than his discomfort. If this held true to the rest of their relationship, Emma and Mark already knew the details. “Ben, look, I know this isn’t the time to bring this up, but—”

If it was possible for three mouths to drop in unison, it happened. Callie couldn’t help but be awed by the sight.

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked, the confusion obvious in his voice.

Nowhere to run now
. “Scott told me you had to be removed from hearing family law cases. That the administrative judge, someone, took you off those cases.”

“That’s not true. There’s a mandatory one-year rotation hearing family law cases when you join the court.” Ben looked to Emma who nodded in agreement. “I did my time and asked to get off as soon as my time was over.”

Callie knew him well enough to see a half story when he dumped one right in her lap. “But something did happen, right?”

“He’s not hiding anything. It’s not a secret,” Emma said in her best Momma Bear protective tone.

“It’s not very pleasant, either.” With each word slow and measured, Ben started talking. “An angry husband killed his wife and kid after I ruled on alimony and child support. He preferred to see them dead rather than to pay them money.”

The shock came fast and hard. Callie heard stories on the news all the time with that ending. Knowing Ben stood in the middle of one made her heart bleed for him. “That’s awful.”

“I wish I could say it never happens, but it does.” He studied the back of his hands as if they were the most interesting things ever. “Emotions run high; people are at their worst. This one drew a lot of attention because a child was involved.”

“I actually prefer hearing criminal cases to the divorce matters, or I did before the Jenner disaster.” Emma talked into the air as if lost in thought. “Contested custody cases amount to pure bloodbaths.”

Ben tried to brush off the horror by making it into something ordinary, but Callie knew better. Such a devastating act would touch him, torment him, until he figured out a way to handle the misplaced guilt. Intellectually he moved on, but Callie wondered how much stayed with him. “Was Scott related to the dad who—?”

“No.”

Mark didn’t look convinced. “Could he be associated with the case?”

“If so, he sure as hell hides it well.” Ben’s hands moved faster. “I’ve never had a problem with the kid. Hell, I barely talk to him most days. Just pleasantries in the morning. That sort of thing.”

Callie had seen that and knew Ben’s perception was dead on. “But why does he think you were forced out of family law cases?”

“No idea. Maybe he got some old gossip confused.”

“He knew about you and Emma and her…” Callie looked at Mark then Emma.

“Fiancé. You can say the word.” Emma’s tight smile looked as if it cost her something to offer it.

“I was trying to be tactful,” Callie grumbled under her breath, knowing she had failed pretty big on that score.

“Really?” Ben feigned shock. “Are you trying to learn new skills?”

“You’re hysterical.”

Ben held out his hands. “Just call me the funny judge.”

“Maybe that’s why you got that most eligible bachelor thing.”

Ben dropped his arms back to his sides. “You can’t stop yourself. You just have to keep bringing that up.”

“Yes, I do.”

Mark cleared his throat. “Okay, that’s it. I’ll look into the Scott angle. I’ve had trouble with him ever since I saw him on the security tape sliding the note under Ben’s door. His explanation checked out, but it could have been part of his plan. In the meantime, you guys stay sharp.” Mark headed for the door, pausing only for Emma to shift out of the way so he could pivot around her without them touching.

Callie saw Emma flinch at Mark’s coldness. Standing up, Callie walked over to the other woman. She’d never been all that good at the comfort thing, or the sisterhood thing, or most other girlie things, but she could see the hurt and betrayal in every line of Emma’s face. She almost doubled over from the pain of whatever passed with Mark.

“Are you okay?”

Emma flashed an overly bright smile. “Of course.”

Callie looked to Ben for reinforcement. When he didn’t immediately join in, she threw him a bug-eyed, stop-being-a-dumbass look and he jumped to his feet.

“Can we help?” Callie asked, not knowing what she would do if Emma said yes.

“With what?”

Ben stood in front of Emma with his arms crossed and stared down at one of his oldest friends. “What did he do?”

Callie liked the stern, kicking-butt look. She wanted him to step up and help and he did. He didn’t merely play the role of the rock-solid guy who rarely disappointed. He lived it. Even before she really knew him she could see it. The integrity and focus. He could be thick and stubborn, but under that outer layer of potential jackassery, he was a good man. The best. He loved and protected people. He felt things much deeper than he wanted to admit, as evidenced by his rough time as a family law judge.

She might not be all that smart, but when she fell for a guy she was freaking brilliant about her choice.

Emma stopped hiding behind the blank stare. Sadness flooded her features. “The strange thing is that he didn’t do anything but be his usual Mark self.”

Callie cringed at the thought. Relationship Mark seemed downright dense to her.

“Tell me what that means.” Ben stood next to Emma and wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders.

“I gave him an ultimatum.”

Ben gave her a squeeze. “’Bout time.”

Callie tried to figure out what the female equivalent of a high five was for situations like this. She settled for an empty phrase instead. “Good for you.”

Emma’s hand shook as she touched her fingers to her forehead. “You’re both wrong.”

Ben glanced at Callie. They stared a stupid stare that suggested neither of them knew what to do or say in a situation like this. Callie wasn’t even sure she should be here, since she barely knew Emma.

Then Emma lifted her chin and threw back her head as if conquering some inner challenge. “Know what he did?”

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Callie said.

“He chose to leave me. I offered him my love and he slept on the couch downstairs instead.”

“Damn,” Callie whispered. Poor, deluded dumbass Mark.

Ben took the news in stride. “He’ll come to his senses. He always does.”

Callie didn’t find Ben’s words all that comforting, but she kept the thought quiet.

“Some relationships aren’t meant to be.” Emma reached over and covered Ben’s hand where it lay on her shoulder. “Promise me you’ll do better.”

Ben nodded. “Sure.”

Callie heard the flat tone and wondered for the first time if she was headed down Emma’s sorry path. “We better go downstairs. Party’s starting.”

Emma threw her false smile back on. “Showtime.”

T
he plan called for them to enter in a big couple scene and then mingle separately, leaving Callie covered but seemingly alone for periods of time. Ben wanted to hold her hand, throw an arm around her—something. She insisted on a more subtle approach of fingers on his elbow.

With their bodies close together, they emerged from the security screening Mark had set up. The second they entered, the talk in the two-story courthouse atrium room grew quiet. Glasses clinked and a low rumble of mumbled voices bounced off the marble surfaces as the topic turned from polite cocktail party chat to their first outing as a couple.

Callie glanced at the crowd, flashing an in-control smile. “Quite a turnout.”

“I never knew I worked with so many subtlety-impaired people.” It was as if every person turned and looked at them at the same time. Two hundred pairs of eyes, some shocked and some knowing, all focused on Callie’s possessive hold on Ben.

“You gonna refrain from your usual jackassery tonight?” She didn’t hide her amusement.

“Probably not.”

“I don’t have time to babysit you. I have a job to do.”

He noticed she continued to scan the crowd. “How do you smile like that and growl at me at the same time?”

“Years of training.”

The not-so-quiet whispers of the group joined and almost drowned out the music playing in the background. He was waiting for people to start pointing. The shift of attention and general interest in seeing them together was that obvious.

“I could kiss you and really give them something to talk about,” he said as he waved to a few fellow judges.

“That would be overkill, don’t you think?”

“I’m always in favor of kissing you.”

She gave him a squeeze. “That’s sweet, but poor Rod might throw himself down the elevator shaft.” She actually smiled over her idea.

“Bloodthirsty tonight, aren’t we?” He steered her to the open bar on the far side of the room. Just in case anyone missed the grand entrance.

The sweep took them right past the clerks and several lawyers. The administrative judge nodded in acknowledgment. Callie smiled and said her hellos to everyone as they passed. Most gawked and none seemed to get that Callie was taunting them with the swing of her hips and sassy smile.

Ben only wanted the dangerous parade to end.

He turned his back on the audience and ordered. “Two white wines.”

Leaning over his shoulder with the intimacy of lovers, she spoke in a voice low enough for only him to hear. “I shouldn’t drink.”

“They’re both for me.” He handed her a glass anyway.

“Where is Rod? Certainly don’t want him to miss the show.” She took a small sip and continued her surveillance over the rim. “I need him keyed up and out of control.”

“So he can kill you?”

“It will never get that far.”

Ben sputtered as he drank, sending the liquid flowing over his hand. “That’s comforting.”

“Smooth.” She winked.

“Just so you know for this acting thing, a real girlfriend would be concerned I was choking and not laugh.”

She shot him an odd look. “No, she wouldn’t.”

He didn’t know what that meant. Whatever title she wanted to use, girlfriend or no, he had his ideas of where she fit in his life. Convincing her to agree could be the problem.

They had to get through tonight first.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” he said, knowing it would be more effective to talk to the wall.

“Like?”

“Wrestle Rod to the floor and cuff him.”

“Oh, I can’t promise you that.” She slipped her glass into Ben’s open hand. “There’s the little rat.”

Ben tried to follow her gaze. “Who?”

“Target number one.”

Rod stood slump-shouldered, nursing a drink by the bar on the other side of the room. “I thought you were calling him a pisher now.”

“Was. Then I switched to shit. I’m pretty much just throwing out the names as they come to me.”

Plotting.
He could see her eyes widen as the thoughts moved through her head. “Stop.”

She dragged her gaze away from Rod. “What?”

“You can’t just go up to him.”

“No, but I can walk by him six or seven hundred times and see if he takes the bait.”

“There’s this legal concept called entrapment.”

“It’s called walking, lawyer boy.”

“Callie—”

Distracted, she gave Ben a quick kiss on the lips and then took off. The public show of affection kept him rooted to the spot. It was so sudden and out of character that his body froze. He couldn’t even reach for her with the two glasses in his hands, which he assumed was part of Callie’s plan to get away fast.

He doubted she even realized she’d kissed him in front of everyone. But others picked up on it. More than one male lawyer gave him an
atta boy
nod and smarmy smile. No wonder Callie thought men were idiots. Times like this, Ben thought she had it about right.

Fifteen minutes later, Ben hovered on the verge of exploding. If Scott or any other man sniffed around Callie one more time Ben vowed to drown them in the punch bowl.

He could spot her purple dress anywhere in the marble courthouse lobby. The flowers and tables lined with silver serving trays, the busboys and the hundreds of people gathered in the two-story space, none of it hid her from his view. She walked with such assurance and a grace that clashed sharply with her foul mouth. That mouth he worshipped just a few hours ago and planned to taste again soon.

For the first time in days he had more than five inches of space between them. The freedom weighed him down. Seeing men run around her in circles, staring at her chest and admiring her legs, sent his temper soaring. The gossip, the gawking. She dealt with all of it because of him. He had no idea how to pay back that kind of debt.

“Rod is not a happy young man,” Mark said as he signaled the bartender for a drink of water.

Ben kept his attention on Callie. He didn’t want to lose her in the crowd. He noticed he was not alone. Rod stood near the security entrance, sipping on a glass of something. He usually mingled, getting along with everyone except Callie. Tonight he sulked, his laserlike stare beaming directly into her back.

“Find out anything?” Ben asked.

“He’s stepped up the angry diatribes against Callie. Where he sent e-mail and implied before, his hints have gotten harsher. He’s suggesting she has a sordid past but refuses to give any details.”

“He’s probably afraid I’ll kill him.”

“That’s the impression most people have.” Mark rolled his shoulders back. “Walking in together made quite an impression. The room is buzzing. I heard more than one told-you-so as I marched through the crowd.”

Ben spent his time ducking conversations. He’s been unsuccessful several times. There was no shortage of colleagues eager to offer both congratulations and advice. “Another judge took me aside and questioned the propriety of dating someone who works for me.”

The older man’s warnings rang in Ben’s head. This judge had questioned Ben’s integrity and good sense and was not all that shy about giving a long lecture on the matter. When everyone thought Ben was sleeping with Emma, they stayed quiet. Even if he messed up her engagement it was his private business, but with Callie everyone had an opinion.

“It will all blow over once we ferret out the stalker. Everyone will understand, and your office can get back to normal.”

Sounded boring. “Unless my clerk is indicted in the process.”

“Admittedly, that will not be great PR for you, but you’ll survive.”

Knocks to his reputation didn’t concern Ben that much. He had lived long enough and survived the devastating and very public loss of his parents. Harmless finger-pointing was the least of his worries. After the initial excitement about having a potential killer in their midst, life in the hallways and small offices would calm down. Memories would fade. To the extent they didn’t and the whispers continued he’d ignore them.

But none of that made up for the idea of having someone hate him enough to hurt Emma and Callie. To think he could sit there on the edge of violence day after day, not knowing what someone he hired planned behind his back, stunned Ben. He took pride in his ability to read people. Now he wasn’t so sure.

His stare stayed on the most likely offender. “Little shit.”

“Rod?”

“How could I not see what was going on in his head?” Ben thought he’d picked up that skill long ago. Finding out he failed—again—had him questioning how he handled the people in his life.

Mark shifted his body to block Ben’s view of Rod. “Don’t.”

“What?”

“We don’t know anything yet. Let’s follow the evidence and not Callie’s intuition on this one. We go off too early or you lose your shit on him, and we could risk our only chance to catch him off guard.”

“This is not my first day.”

“Just keep in mind that as soon as he thinks he’s lost your loyalty, we’re done. No telling what he’ll do at that point.”

“Could it be worse than the last few weeks?”

“Yeah, Ben, it could. His bomb could go off and take someone with it next time. He could follow through on his threats.” Mark lowered his voice as a group of lawyers edged closer. “People could actually die this time, including you or someone you care about.”

Ben knew he deserved the lecture. His temper kept spiking. Heat flushed through him. It was all part of the fight mechanism that burned inside him, ready to blow at any second. It had always been this way. His body prepared to fight while his mind wrestled with the details.

Mark was right. There was too much to lose.

“I know it’s not fair, but I see Rod and I want to shove his head up his ass.” Ben hid his mouth behind his glass as he talked. A few curt nods and an unwelcoming scowl to passing attorneys were enough to ensure they didn’t stop to chat.

“Now you sound like her.”

“She’s rubbing off on me.” He liked that idea.

“That’s surprising.”

Ben broke his informal surveillance on Rod to look at his brother’s face because the sharp cadence to his words meant trouble. “Why?”

Mark shrugged. “Didn’t see you letting a woman matter that much.”

“Is this your way of telling me what happened with Emma yesterday? Where is she anyway?” Ben asked, feeling a flash of guilt for not checking on her sooner.

Mark nodded in the direction of a group of lawyers. Emma stood tall and proud at the center. “The guy next to her is an undercover bodyguard.”

Now Ben knew what, or who, Mark had been staring at so intently while they talked about Rod. “Why aren’t you with her?”

“I can watch her from here.”

“Is that good enough?”

Mark slowly lowered his glass. “Did she say something to you?”

“I was hoping my brother would fill me in.”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Mark. You look like hell. The only person who looks worse is Emma. She almost dropped on the floor when you left my office.”

Mark’s jaw locked. “She’ll be fine.”

“I’m not convinced, but my bigger concern right now is you.” Ben watched Scott move closer to Callie. “And don’t bother to tell me you’re fine. You’re not.”

Shock flashed across his face, but Mark quickly hid it. “We fought. It will blow over.”

“And she’ll let you back into her bed?”

“Yeah.” Mark glanced at Emma. The longing was there in his eyes. “I sure as hell hope so.”

“There’s a way you can make sure that happens.”

“A commitment.” Mark’s face pinched even more. “She made that clear.”

Ben blew out the breath he was holding. At least he didn’t have to baby-step Mark through the conversation. He clearly knew what Emma needed. He understood her ultimatum. But living with it, acting on it, required something from Mark. Ben wasn’t sure his brother could pay the price.

“Is it that hard? You’ve loved Emma forever.”

“Let me ask you this.” Mark’s hard stare focused on Callie. “You ready to give her what she wants?”

The words sat there. Ben didn’t answer because the comment came from nowhere, hitting him with the force of a baseball bat. Here he was thinking about dating. Mark had them dancing down the aisle. The idea of that, of walking through life with anyone, shut down Ben’s brain.

Mark nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

Callie smiled as she watched Mark and Ben talk. She hoped Ben yelled some sense into his big brother. Heaven knew the guy needed a romantic wake-up call. A strong, lovely woman stood by his side and he kept walking away. Proved that jackassery ran in the Walker family…or whatever their real name was.

She still hadn’t gotten the full story. A voice in her head egged her on, shouting for her to confront Ben about the issue. They exchanged so much, but he held back this bit. The story sat between them as a barrier to moving forward. But he wasn’t Mark. Ben didn’t suffer from relationship panic and romantic stupidity. She hoped he would soon knock down the wall and confide to her the whole story.

“That was quite an entrance,” Elaine said from behind Callie.

Callie turned around expecting to see judgment even though the tone of the welcome held none. Instead, Elaine wore a huge smile. Her amusement proved contagious, because within seconds, Callie couldn’t hide her grin.

“I bet there are more than a few women working in the courthouse and here tonight who would disagree with you.”

Elaine snorted. “If Judge Walker wanted any of those women, he’d be with them. He’s choosy and private, but when he wants something he goes after it.”

Curiosity pricked at Callie. “Something as in women?”

“Women, baseball tickets, a plum case. Judge Walker can be very persuasive.”

And that was with his clothes on. Callie knew he worked best naked. “That’s the only reason I agreed to throw on a dress and come tonight.”

“Well, I must admit I didn’t expect the public show. That’s not really the judge’s style.” Elaine frowned. “But a lot has changed recently.”

“What?” Callie followed Elaine’s stare to Rod. He stood next to a potted plant pretending he belonged there.