Leave Me Breathless (20 page)

“You’re worse than Mark.” Each word cut into her. “He doesn’t pretend to give a shit.”

“That’s enough.” Ben whispered his order.

“You give off the available vibe, but you are anything but. Whatever happened in your past, this precious information you can’t dare share, it’s warped you. Ruined you for a normal future.”

“I said stop.” He rubbed his forehead as his voice increased in strength.

Harsh accusations poured out of her. Every inch of her grew numb, but her mind threw out words and comments almost faster than she could say them. “You walk around seemingly together and complete, but inside you are in more pieces than Mark.”

“Enough!”

His wild shout rattled the walls.

She clapped. “At last, a real emotion.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“No, Ben. It’s heartbreaking.”

If possible his face closed up even more. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

The last tie of hope slipped away. Her stomach felt as if it had been carved out and handed to her. “You said it. Only left one thing out.”

His look became guarded. “What?”

“Good-bye.”

M
ark burst into Ben’s office the next morning without knocking. “Why aren’t you answering your cell?”

Not the person Ben wanted to see. Despite the nuclear fallout of an argument yesterday, Ben counted on Callie showing up with a cooler head. Act like a grown-up and talk the situation out. He had no idea what he’d say in response, but he’d forgive her. They could move on. They could get the relationship—yeah, he admitted there was one—back on track. Dating made sense. Proclamations of love he couldn’t handle. She loved an idea. One that existed for him in fairy tales but not in reality. His parents taught him that firsthand.

In his head, all the pieces fit together in a neat bundle. But that didn’t explain why going even one day without seeing her ripped him apart. Two hours in, and he had not accomplished a single bit of work this morning. At every noise in the hallway he looked up expecting to see her in his doorway. When Elaine buzzed him with a call, he waited for Callie’s voice on the line. He never expected to miss that snide voice calling him names, but he did.

She had spun a kind of web around him. No doubt about that. She had him wondering and questioning. Enjoying time together made sense to him. Love never entered the picture. Not that he consciously said no to the possibility. Ben wasn’t afraid of commitment and wasn’t the type of guy who needed a harem hanging on every word to stay happy. The thought of forever simply had never made sense to him. As a kid he saw the two people he trusted most betray each other. As an adult, he saw love rip Emma and Mark apart.

Violence and pain. No wonder he never felt the temptation and tug of what others called love.

None of that changed the facts, however. He missed Callie’s ridiculous comments. Hell, after just a few hours away he missed her to the point where his chest ached.

And was not at all in the mood to deal with Mark’s barking. “The case is over. I can turn off my ringer and enjoy ten minutes of quiet if I want.”

“Wrong.”

Biting back a slam, Ben studied his brother’s face. For a guy who solved a huge case, he looked panicked. “What’s going on?”

Mark stopped in front of Ben’s desk. “I’m not fucking around here. Where is she?”

“Who?”

Panic gave way to red-faced anger on Mark’s face. “Don’t be dumb. I’m talking about Callie. Your girlfriend. The woman you can’t seem to live without.”

Mark’s assessment, even though he yelled it, brought Ben’s mental wanderings to a halt. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Where. Is. Callie?”

Damn, hearing her name made Ben’s stomach burn with the pain of loss. “I have no idea.”

“Ben, now isn’t the time to play games. We have a serious problem.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Tell me.”

“It’s Scott.”

Ben turned the phrase over, but it still didn’t make sense. “I need more than that to catch up here.”

Exhaling two or three times, Mark visibly controlled his anger. “We took the security tapes back. Scott dropped off the note. Not just the first one. The second one.”

The enormity of the words sunk in. “Scott threatened Callie?”

“Scott is the one who convinced Rod to go upstairs to the office and wait for Callie. It looks like Scott set Rod up.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Not that the Rod connection fit together, either. Callie was right about that. Thinking about it, she seemed to be right about everything. He feared she saw through him, understood him better than he did.

He couldn’t worry about that now. He had to focus in.

Mark rested his hip against the side of Ben’s desk. “Does the last name MacAllister mean anything to you?”

“Not other than it being Scott’s last name. Should it?”

“Yes.”

“Mark, just say what you have to say. If you have a clear question, ask it.”

“You had a case when you started with the family law court. An ugly divorce. The dad had to pay a lot of money, claimed he couldn’t, and you threw him in jail for contempt.”

“That happened more than once.” Memories of sad stories played out in Ben’s mind. Some fathers turned to lies to keep from paying alimony and child support. Never mind their kids didn’t have food or a safe place to live. These men just couldn’t tolerate the idea of giving over what they viewed as their money alone to their ex-wives.

“Well, this time the guy was Scott’s dad. He claims the divorce broke him.”

Ben searched his mind for details but couldn’t grab them. Except for the murder, no individual case stuck out. He had blocked out so much of that part of the job. Seeing pain in kids’ eyes reminded him of his own tortured childhood, and his mind shut off. He crammed down on his compassion and rushed decisions for fear of growing to care too much about the people who moved in and out of his courtroom with painful tales that grew worse with each hearing.

When the administrative judge had offered a new assignment, Ben said yes before knowing what it was. “I hated that work.”

“I’m not saying you did anything wrong. From a quick look at the file it appears Scott’s dad hid assets so the mother would get nothing. He cried poor, bankrupted his own company, and blamed his wife for ruining him.”

“You mean his wife and me.”

Mark rapped his knuckles against the desk. “My concern is Scott.”

“Where is he?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know. When we stormed the elevators to grab Rod, Scott slipped out of the courthouse. No one has seen him since.”

Ben sensed Mark held something back. Something huge and potentially awful. “Okay.”

“No, it’s not, because I can’t reach Callie. Not at home. Not here. She was his final target, and she’s not responding to messages. Could she be at your place?”

Guilt fell over him like a blanket. “She’s never been to my house.”

Everything inside Ben slammed to a halt. Breathing. Thinking. Stupid worries about how to describe their relationship, what title to give it, slid away. All that mattered was her safety. He wanted her right there, with him, fighting and kicking. Suddenly, on the verge of losing her, he wanted her forever.

“Ben, do you know where she is?”

Ben looked at his brother, letting him see all of the pain and self-hatred there. “No.”

Mark blew out a long breath. “Okay.”

“You think…” The words stuck in Ben’s throat, refusing to form into the rest of the sentence.

“Yeah, she’s in trouble. Big trouble.”

F
or more than an hour, Callie ignored the constant ringing, first the home phone and then the cell. To get some needed peace, she threw her work phone in the toilet. Seeing Mark’s number in the window was just a reminder of all she’d lost. Like a kick to the stomach, she’d think of Mark and her mind would wander to Ben. Then the tears would start. She knew she’d move to the anger stage eventually. She was too busy drowning in loss and sorrow to get there just yet.

Then she heard the insistent knocking. In her desperate haze, she stumbled to the door and opened it without thinking. Despite her vow to not care, she secretly hoped Ben would appear. That he had come to his senses and returned to grovel.

She’d make him do it, too. Even if it turned out to be a fraction of her blinding pain, that worked for her.

Instead, Scott. Door open. Her without a gun. Her brain in a funk. Tears still clogging her throat. She’d never been this vulnerable.

Her mind scrambled to come up with a strategy. She pushed out thoughts of Ben and his stupidity, of her lonely future and the stretch of unemployment ahead of her. Everything, every second and ounce of strength, turned to Scott.

Forget Rod. Her instincts had been right. Scott was the stalker. She saw the truth stamped across his face. From the thin line of his lips to the madness in his eyes, she knew with a dead certainty he wanted to hurt her so as to hurt Ben.

She forced a lightness she didn’t feel into her voice. “Hi.”

Scott looked older, meaner. More self-assured and less like the dedicated clerk who liked to chat with her in the afternoons between dockets. “May I come in?”

She judged the distance between, then figured out slamming the door on his face wouldn’t work. Running past him screaming into the hall didn’t have much of a shot, either. Not before he lunged and she lost.

“Of course.” She gestured for him to come inside.

He took two steps and then turned to face her, his back to the door and his body blocking her exit. “You were a surprise.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“His ties to Emma were pretty obvious.” He stood with his hands behind his back. The stance seemed casual, vulnerable even, but something in it telegraphed a preparedness for battle. A desire to engage and fight.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“They came to work together, went to dinner. Hell, good old Ben even chased away her fiancé to make room for himself. The stud judge was in fine form there. I know because I watched it all go down from the safety of my law school a few blocks away.”

Not judge. Ben and Emma. From the timeline he referenced, Scott was coming unglued right before her eyes. It was as if evil walked in and wiped out everything good and decent. He sneered. His voice dripped with disgust. Even being younger, he scared the hell out of her. Crazy was hard to beat no matter the age and height.

Callie decided to play dumb. Stall for time while she forced her head into the moment to come up with a solid plan. Maybe she could steer him toward the kitchen and make a run at the knives.

Since she didn’t have anything else, she went for it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Scott’s head fell to the side. Then came the
tsk-tsk
sound. “We’re past this, don’t you think?”

A chill ran through her at his dead tone. Gone was the light banter and the deference he’d always shown. The act disappeared and in its place stood a twisted young man with a motivation immune to common sense and rational argument. That left brute strength. She’d have to beat down the churning inside her, that tightening sensation that might freeze her to the floor, and go after him on a physical level. Get the jump and hope it was enough to combat whatever superior strength or nasty weapon he might have.

She shifted slightly. As he talked, she pivoted, moving even with his side. One step closer to a mad dash to the wood block on the counter.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked, trying to throw him off balance emotionally.

Instead, he grabbed her arm and squeezed hard enough to drive her to her knees. “You ruined everything.”

“Scott, you’re hurting me.”

“You brought this on. You know, I actually liked you until you started staring at Ben like he meant something to you.”

She struggled to break free, but Scott only held on harder. “He doesn’t.”

“Once you started sleeping with him, you became my plan.”

She tried going limp to give Scott a false sense of being in charge. “For what?”

“Revenge.” Scott dropped her arm. From inside his jacket, he took out a knife of his own and slid his finger along the blade. A small bead of blood appeared on his skin. If Scott felt the cut, he didn’t show it. “I’ve been plotting and waiting. Taking my time and getting close.”

“To Ben?”

“Of course, you dumb bitch.” The snarl, the rabid anger, took over. The knife cut through the air and far too close to her face.

She held up her hands, letting him think she’d surrender. Pleading with him seemed to be what he wanted, so she gave it to him. “I’m sorry. I just don’t get it. Can you tell me why?”

“You know.”

“I don’t.” She had a guess, but not the actual answer. “Tell me.”

“He destroyed my family. Put Dad away and left me with that crazy slut.”

Bile rushed up the back of Callie’s throat. This anger festered and grew. Now it was a living, breathing beast fueling all this uncertainty and destruction.

“You mean, your mother?”

Scott shook his knife at Callie. “She gave birth to me. She was never a mother. My dad took care of me. He went to my games. He helped with homework and got me to school. She sat around spending his money.”

Hate spewed out of Scott. It was as if the venom and rage had been locked away, building, and now flailed around trying to get out. Anger filled the room, sucking the air right out.

“Ben was the judge.”

“You’re damn right.” The blade whipped right in front of her face.

The move gave her the perfect out. She backed up closer to the counter. “Listen to me.”

“Setting up Rod was the easy part. He despised you. When he realized you were sleeping with Ben, he went out of his head crazy with it. He thought you pushed him out, took away his star mentor. A few well-timed comments and I could set him off anytime I wanted. Made it easy to get into his office and poke around on the computer.”

Her foot slipped closer to the kitchen. “And the bomb?”

Scott was too engrossed in his story to notice she was within an arm’s reach of grabbing the knife. “I found the information, built it. It’s not hard to get the right people to take care of jobs like that. You pay some money to plant it by making them think it’s something other than a bomb and keep your identity quiet. They panic when they realize what they’ve done and stay quiet. I don’t even know the guy’s last name but he did me a favor.”

“But your unknown partner missed.”

Scott leaned in, his lip curling up in a sneer. “No. The plan was just to scare the judge. To let him know someone was watching, someone who knew the kind of weak man he really was. I did it, too. Hell, the former military hero couldn’t sit at his desk without a security detail. What kind of man is that?”

“So you wrote the notes.” Tramping down on the fear racing through her, she put her hands behind her, searching with small movements for the edge of the counter.

“I wanted Ben to know how it felt to lose something. Someone. My plan was to toy with him and then take Emma out. Watch him buckle without her there for him.”

“But I messed everything up.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw her front door move. The slight waver could be a dream. Blinking, she cleared her sight line and saw it happen again.

Either the adrenaline caused her vision to bounce, or someone was out there. She’d bet on Mark. She knew she couldn’t count on Ben, but for this—law enforcement stuff—the Walkers were solid. She needed seconds only. A diversion and a good throw and Scott would go down without incident. The energy flowing through her would get the job done. The crash later would be a bitch, but after the fight with Ben, she didn’t see many bright days ahead.

“He fell for you.” Scott said it as an accusation.

She shook her head. “He didn’t.”

Scott’s mouth pulled tight at the edges. “Yes. He. Did.”

Her finger touched the cool marble behind her. With a quick mental inventory, she placed the knives without seeing them. “Is your plan to kill me?”

“I feel bad about that, but the judge needs to know how it feels. He can’t destroy people, the cocky bastard, and expect to go on as if nothing has happened.” Scott stepped in front of her, only inches away. “You’re different.”

“I’m not.”

“I see the way he looks at you. Taking you out will break him. With you I can accomplish more than I ever hoped to gain with Emma.”

“Scott.” Mark’s firm voice rang through the room.

Scott jerked toward the door just as Mark stormed in with Ben right behind him.

She’d never get a better chance. Reaching around blind, she grabbed for a handle. The cool plastic hit her palm and she kept moving. She brought the blade down in an arc just as Scott shifted to the side. His voice an insane cry, he thrust his body toward her. Off balance and shifting his wild gaze between her and Mark, Scott missed his aim. The knife slipped passed her close enough for her to feel the whoosh of movement.

But her tip made contact. As his body moved through the air, flying in front of her, she went for his shoulder. Unable to stop his momentum, he came down right on her knife. The stab went into the space where his arm met his neck. Blood spurted as Scott’s eyes flew open in stunned surprise. Just as he reached up to touch his injury, Ben came out of nowhere and clipped Scott from behind. The tumbling tackle sent the men crashing to the floor.

Mark yelled. Police flooded the room. Chaos reigned as sirens screamed in the distance and people filed in and out, stopping to talk to her. All the words ran together. In a fog, she had no idea what anyone said or why.

Everything moved in slow motion. She saw the flash of Ben’s stern face as he made his move. Then she saw Scott pinned to the floor with Ben looming above him.

“Ben, stop.” Mark yelled the order as he pulled Ben from behind.

It took two men to wrestle Ben off Scott and another one to hold Mark back from taking a turn at going after the kid. The surreal scene of blood and violence played out before Callie like a movie. She’d taken Scott out and then the cavalry arrived to finish the job in a wild frenzy.

“Are you okay?” Ben held on to her arms and shook her until she looked at him.

The confused haze refused to clear her mind. Scott. Ben. Everyone here, and none of it made sense.

“Callie?”

She ignored Ben’s pleas to get through to her and concentrated only on the medic who knelt on the floor tending to Scott’s injuries. That mental image was safe. It wouldn’t break her heart or leave her weeping on her bathroom floor. Looking at Ben, seeing his loving face, knowing he would never give her what she needed or what they both deserved, would shake the last of her tenuous control.

She stood seconds from falling apart. Seconds from slumping at his feet. The shock, the emotional drain of watching Ben walk out—it all backed up on her. She wanted to crack a joke and act like none of it mattered. But it did.

“I caused all of this.” Ben said the words over and over.

He pulled her close, his arms closing around her as she stood still and tried to hold her body from his. She clenched her palms into fists to keep from touching him.

“God, Callie, talk to me.”

“This was all about a divorce case. A stupid, bitter case that ended years ago.” The neutral thought comforted her. She didn’t even realize she said it out loud until she heard her strained voice.

She would focus on that. On the reason, no matter how insane, rather than on the pain lancing through her when she inhaled Ben’s familiar scent.

“Ben, let me.” Mark pried Ben’s hands off her and stared into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

The numbness eased. She could talk to Mark. He wouldn’t destroy her or use her. “Yes.”

Ben’s face crumpled. But she knew the way his shoulders slumped and his eyes darkened with sadness, none of that was real. It would all go away as soon as he got over his feelings of having failed to protect her. That was stupid. None of what happened with Scott was Ben’s fault. Scott was a messed-up kid, fed a steady diet of hate by his father, and grew to be a vengeful, confused young man. They had all prevented a horrible tragedy that day.

No, the guilt beating down on Ben was misplaced. He made many mistakes, but not that.

“I want everyone to leave.” She needed to build up her resistance. To find a place where she didn’t see Ben’s face every time she closed her eyes. She needed to act like she didn’t care, but right now she didn’t have that sort of strength.

“You can’t stay here.” Mark’s voice was strangely gentle. “This is a crime scene.”

“She can come home with me,” Ben said, his voice eager for the possibility.

The time for her to play the role of his sexual plaything had passed. “No.”

Anguish radiated off Ben. “Callie, I know you’re mad at me, but be reasonable.”

She ignored his words and his desperate pleading. “Mark will take me to a hotel.”

Mark nodded. “Of course.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Medics and policemen turned to Ben at his outburst. “She can’t be alone.”

“I need space.” Somewhere without Ben and without memories, where she could work it all out in her head and figure out how a kid like Scott had gotten so confused and dangerous. She’d never understand Ben’s choice, but she could learn from Scott’s.

“Can I talk with you?” Mark didn’t give Ben a choice. He dragged him back into the kitchen. “You’ve got to back off.”

Ben’s throat burned with the need to throw up. Hearing Scott’s words as he flashed the knife at Callie stole the last bit of peace Ben would ever feel in his life.

Seeing her broken and pale almost killed him.

Desperate to get back to her, he nodded. Ignoring Mark was the only way around him at this point.