Lena's River (12 page)

She brought her hand down to rest on his thigh. “It’s
okay, you avoided a collision and we’re fine.” Levi fell back against the seat
with his eyes closed. Lena could tell he’d had a jolt of adrenaline. The moment
of horror disappeared from his face. He sat there for a long time while traffic
whizzed past them as they sat in the idling pickup on the narrow shoulder of
the road. The blinker made a rhythmic chirp. Finally, his breathing slowed and
he collected himself.

She waited a few more moments, then she said: “Hey, why
don’t we stop ahead – I could grab a shower and we could get a sandwich and a
cup of coffee – take a break. We need ice anyway. There’s a little resort up
ahead on the right.” Lena indicated a small sign on the road advertising a
restaurant nestled in the trees near the river. She wanted to get her rig off
the side of the road as soon as possible.

“Okay, that sounds good.” Levi opened his eyes but he
still gritted his teeth. “I don’t understand Washington drivers.” His jaw was
tight and he shook his head in frustration. “It’s like they don’t care about
anyone else.”

Lena smirked. “That’s funny because we always hear how
crazy east-coasters are! I suppose you can’t get away from bad drivers wherever
you go. Just be careful, I live in this state you know. I am a Washington
driver.”

“Oh yeah, well I wasn’t talking about you.” Levi checked
behind him and pulled back onto the road with caution. A few miles further he
found the restaurant and drove into the parking lot. He shut off the engine and
sighed. Pascal scurried to the window and gave a low woof.

Lena turned to the small dog: “You need outside Pascal?
Come on; here’s your leash.”

She and Levi walked Pascal around for a few minutes,
investigating the rustic cabins. The tall hemlocks and pines waved, whispering
to themselves in the wind high above their heads. Levi was quiet, distant and
seemed to be somewhere else. Lena didn’t try to make chatter. The incident with
the logging truck seemed to have shaken him more than she realized. At least
she knew when to give people their space.

 Lena found the pay shower and handed Pascal’s leash to
Levi. “Do you have a couple extra quarters?” She handed him a dollar bill and he
reached in his pocket. He fished out six quarters and handed them to her.

“That’s too many.” Lena protested.

He waved his hand and turned away, unsmiling. She
watched him for a minute then headed to the shower room. The hot water felt
good on her sore shoulder which had, by now, become decorated with some
colorful bruises. When she finished showering she found Levi in the restaurant.
He’d taken a table to the back overlooking the river. He sat leaning back with
his arms crossed across his chest, staring out the window. There was a wrinkle
in his forehead that bothered her.

Lena fluffed her damp curls and slid into a chair.
“Isn’t this nice; I’ve used the showers here before but never ventured into the
restaurant.”

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have stopped. I’m taking a
chance that you’ll want to be down there fishing!” Levi pointed out the window
at the tranquil scene of the river flowing past open pastures. A few Jersey
cows grazed on the lush green; their heads buried in the tall grass.

Lena admired the view. “Very nice and it’s tempting but
I’m anxious to see the ocean. It isn’t far now. I can smell it.”

“Really, are you sure that’s not manure?” Levi smirked
and Lena rolled her eyes. He asked: “Should we pitch the tent somewhere first
before we head to the beach?”

“Oh no, this time of year there will plenty of spots;
especially if you want to set up a tent.”

As Lena bit into her veggie burger she wondered how it
would be spending the night with Levi in his tiny tent. She was relieved that
he seemed to have regained his composure. She wondered why the episode with the
truck had affected him so much. His reaction had been visceral and immediate.
But now everything seemed fine with him.

Then her thoughts skipped ahead to the night they would
spend together. She was both anticipating and worried. She felt a little
awkward after seeing him with the beautiful woman in the town café’. Should she
mention the brunette? Lena pushed that thought from her mind.

That would ruin everything. And then he
would know that you were stalking him. You’d be busted. Don’t tip your hand,
Lena.

Lena decided to keep quiet but doubt nagged at her. She
couldn’t imagine Levi was the type to pursue casual encounters on the fly. He’d
always been sincere and focused with her.

You are so naïve, Lena. How do you think
this whole thing started? You jumped in the sack with him right off the bat.
Just because it was a sleeping bag doesn’t make it any less of a cliché’.

Lena was quiet. She knew she should talk to Levi about
a number of things. She wanted to talk to him but didn’t know how or where to
begin. He said little during their lunch and he seemed content with the
silence.

****

They could hear the crash of waves on wild shoreline as
they drove a narrow lane to the beach parking lot.

“I’m really excited to see the Pacific again. I was a
teenager the last time we visited.” Levi had a boyish grin on his face and Lena
thought she caught a glimpse of something familiar in his expression but she
didn’t know what.

“Did your family camp when you came out here for
vacation?” Lena grabbed her wind parka and a small pack back out of the truck.
“You’ll need a coat. This beach is windy. It’s no Hawaii. Not warm at all.”
They had to speak up to hear each other over the boom of the surf.

“No, we stayed at that lodge right inside the Park. I’m
so jazzed – it sounds like a huge drum. Is it always this loud?”

“Yes, but the tide is coming in so it seems even louder.”
Lena smiled to herself at his enthusiasm.

He was several yards ahead of her on the headland trail
which led them over a rocky crest. He stood and waited for her at the top,
looking down at the foamy sea below. Sea stacks rose in the distance out of the
mist. White crested waves crashed against the pristine shoreline, one after
another, along the beach as far as the eye could see.

“Wow.” He whispered.

****

 “So, were you raised in a strict environment?” Lena
held a long stick and she poked the beach wood into the center of a tender flame
so it would burn better. She was hunkered over a tiny fire which they had built
in a small ring of smooth stones. They both leaned forward over it to protect
the newborn flames from the ocean spray and wind. They took shelter out of the
wind behind a wall of driftwood – huge cedar and spruce trees, bleached white
by the sun and salt, which had tumbled smooth in ocean waves until they came to
rest on this steep, sandy beach.

“Not terrible. I imagine my folks are more lenient than
some of my peers at school who were raised Catholic.”

“Yeah, well the fact that your dad is a religious
figure and a leader in your community… I bet they kept a close eye on things
when you hit puberty.”

“What do you mean?” Levi began to poke at the fire too
and added small sticks to its center, warming his hands close to the orange flames.”

Lena paused and shook her head: “Oh I don’t know what I
mean. Forget it.”

He pondered her words. At last he said: “You want to know
if my parents were all uptight about sex? Did they have hang-ups about
sexuality in general? Well, no – not really. I’m sure my grandfather would have
shaken a finger at you and me!” Levi wagged his eyebrows up and down in a
comical fashion.

Lena snorted at him but he continued in a serious tone:
“I’ve never done that before, you know. Just hooked up with someone so fast – you
have to believe me. I’ve been celibate for what seems like an eternity.”

Lena looked dubious. “Dude, you had condoms in your
tent.”

“No, I took the condoms out of my truck and carried
them to the tent. Lena, what’s this all about? I’m a healthy, American male.
Having condoms on your person is like a badge of honor. I’ve carried
prophylactics with me since I was a teenager. Not that I ever got the chance to
use them.”

He shrugged. “I’m embarrassed to say this but hell,
when I was fifteen, I snuck out and bought some with my own money even though I
was a virgin and I stayed that way for a long time. I didn’t even have a
girlfriend.” He stared at her wondering; his brow furrowed.

Lena didn’t look up and continued to poke at the fire.
It popped so that the flames leapt as she arranged the coals. She didn’t know
if she should go there with him. She wished she didn’t feel so confused.

At last she said: “I saw you with someone the other
day.” She snuck a look at his face. His expression had gone blank.

“What? When did you see me?”

“In town – you went in to do some printing at the copy
shop. You were in the little restaurant across the street. With a really hot
chick...” Lena let the sentence hang but she wished she hadn’t added on the
hot
chick
part. It sounded stupid and now he would see she was jealous.

Levi still had a puzzled look on his face. “You were in
town? What were you doing in town?”

He waited for her to answer and when she didn’t, he
explained: “Who you saw was my cousin Sylvan. I met up with her for a couple
hours. She was out here doing a story on the new correctional facility they
built outside the city limits. I stayed at her place in the city when I got
that interview.” He paused. “Why didn’t you come in and say hi? I would have
loved for you to meet her.”

Now it was Lena’s turn to be stunned. All she could
manage was: “Oh.” She felt ridiculous and couldn’t look at him. She poked the
stick at the fire and added a couple more twigs.

Levi started laughing. “Is that what’s been bugging
you? You thought I’d hooked up with another woman?”

Lena felt mortified. Then she got mad. She knew her
anger was a cover up for her embarrassment but she couldn’t help it.

“I came after you. I was going to apologize for being a
jerk. Then I saw you with her. She looked way more than just your cousin.” Lena
stood up and marched down the beach. She needed some space. Her feelings didn’t
make any sense to her. Levi wasn’t tied to her in any way. Emotions in general were
irrational and dangerous. And worse, Lena was certain she was coming off as a
crazy woman.

Levi didn’t follow her down the beach right away, for
which she was grateful. She walked down to where the water met the sand. Long
fingered waves reached up the shore, grabbing small shells, rocks and
driftwood, dragging the treasures back into the surf. Lena felt as if her heart
was the object being flung around in the foamy waters and spit back onto shore
– bleach-dried and chewed up by violent forces.

She’d never felt such turbulence inside for another
human being. She wanted him to love her and yet she was afraid of that love -
so afraid that she might run if she had to. Love was a beast conjured up in the
nightmares of the heart. She stood near the sea and watched blue-gray waves
peak in endless, beautiful patterns until they disappeared only to rise again
somewhere else.

“Lena, do you or don’t you care for me?” His voice was
behind her. She spun around to face him – the collar and hood of his jacket
drawn up against the wind.

“I…” Lena faltered. She couldn’t bring herself to tell
him the truth. She stood motionless like a deer caught in the middle of the
road by an oncoming car. She couldn’t look away and she couldn’t run. Instead
she flung herself in his arms and kissed him like there was nowhere else to go.

****

His body was taut and firm. She held him to her,
willing him to be deeper inside. The bed beneath them gave a slight creak. The
room was dim. Outside it was nearing dusk. He breathed into her ear; pulled
back the long, dark curls from her forehead and whispered her name. “Lena…”

She tightened her grip around his lower waist and
pulled him forward and up so that his sex pressed into her, hard and
unyielding. She struggled with him. Their struggle was the same. She wanted
everything he was doing to her and more; she was wet all around him and he
glided in and out without effort. He stoked the fire in her slow and steady
until she couldn’t breathe.

He said her name again so low that it was more like a
breath than a word. “Lena…”

They hadn’t taken time to light the fire or turn on the
electric heat. Once the cabin door was unlocked, they’d fallen together on the
bed, tearing off the other’s clothing with fevered intent. Lena had struggled
with her sweater. He helped ease it up over her head. All their clothes ended
in a heap on the floor; scattered from the door to the bed.

He had taken her at once with his mouth pressed to her
lips in a deep kiss. She opened to him as he positioned himself and penetrated
her wetness. She gave a soft cry as he pushed into her. Her cry was not one of
pain but an intensity of desire. He moved in her, filling her, straining for
her body with his own. Their hips locked together in union and mutual hunger.

She let him take control of her body until she no
longer knew where she was and where he began. Their undulations increased with
intensity while the setting sun’s light faded from the room. Her lips ached
with his kisses. She could feel the weight of him on her as he drove into her;
pushing her hips into the mattress. He moaned low with need. His sex swelled
within her – full, hot and engorged with desire.