Nesy’s voice sharpens my thoughts almost immediately. Fresh pictures spring from the darkness that penetrates me. Nesy bound and gaged. Azza with a dagger to her neck.
No!
I think.
“Zane. Where are you?”
Cass’s voice pulls Azza’s attention. A sardonic smile curls his lips. “Lambs to the slaughter,” he hisses.
It’s a trap, Cass. Get out. Get out now!
I won’t leave you.
Cass image appears in the scene as Azza materializes behind her.
Cass!!!
In a single move, Azza’s sword slices through Cass. Silver blood pours from her mouth and she falls.
“No!” I scream. My mind spins. I draw my sword. This ends now. He will not take another of my brethren, not while I still draw breath.
I lunge forward, thrusting at nothing but air. The darkness returns and I am thrown back into that empty void.
Nesy screams, her voice splitting me in two. A hand touches my shoulder and I spin, slicing the space around me.
Another scream.
And another.
Blinding pain streaks across my senses as I fall back into oblivion.
Chapter 36 – Surrender
Zane
Screams surround me. I am lost inside a hell of my own making. “Cass,” I yell. “Cass!”
“I’m here, Zane. You’re fine.” She touches my hand and I startle.
I open my eyes, expecting to find the same darkness of Nesy’s mind. But I am standing in her room, my skin and hair drenched. Nesy stands in front of me, her eyes still closed. Small tremors shake her body.
“She’s fine,” Cass says before I can ask the question. “Just in a bit of shock. I sedated her emotions for now.”
“What happened?” I ask. My mouth feels awkward and the words tumble in a jumbled mass.
“I don’t know. You lost yourself, I guess. Do you remember anything?”
“Not really. I just remember seeing an image of Azza. He killed you.”
“It wasn’t real.”
“Maybe not, but it felt real at the time.” I close my eyes and settle my nerves. My skin prickles with anxiety. “Cass, I need to go back and try again.”
“Yes, we’re close now. We could reach her with another try.”
“Not together, Cass. I need to go in alone.”
“But Zane, you—”
“No. Hear me out. She’s in trouble. And whatever is happening, it’s bad. I won’t let you risk yourself.”
“You don’t get to make that choice.” Cass’s eyes grow dark as she clenches her jaw. Her wings bristle and I know there is no way I can make her go home.
I release a tight breath and extend my wings. My body feels too tight, too confined. Stretching my neck and shoulders, I stare at Nesy. She looks somewhat peaceful now. The tremors have stopped. But I caught a glimpse of her horrors. I have to find a way to release her from those demons.
“Look, I’m going back in alone. Stay here and help me if I run into trouble.”
“I can help you more from inside her heart.”
“No. You’ll only confuse me. Whatever it is that haunts Nesy, it will use you to break me. I have to go in alone. I have to help her.” I turn and look at Cass. “And I need you to get me out if I can’t.”
Cass looks down and shakes her head. “I don’t know, Zane.”
“You’ll know when I’m in trouble Cass. I need to know I have someone out here to help me.”
An awkward silence presses between us.
“Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I promise.”
Releasing a shaky breath, Cass nods. “Go. Help her.”
“I’m counting on you to help me.”
I turn back to Nesy and grab her hands again. She trembles under my touch, her eyes flitting back and forth under her eyelids.
I’m coming back in, Nesy. I’m coming to find you.
The trip down to her soul is faster this time. No more images of the life we shared. No images of death or war. Just an overwhelming emptiness.
I press harder, deeper, until the emptiness gives way to something new. The courtyard in New York, the place of her death. Apprehension fills my cells as I survey the scene. The same broken statue of Mikayel. The same stone alter where Aydan received his marks.
I scan the landscape, searching. “Nesy? Where are you?”
A faint image opens in the distance. Nesy, dressed in her battle armor, her body marred with the scars of war.
“Nesy?”
“I’m here, Zane. I’m here.”
I walk through her memories, the picture of her clear in my thoughts.
Nesy stands with Aydan, her sword aimed at his neck. “It’s time to finish this.” She cuts into his flesh. Thick, black liquid oozes from the wound.
“Nesy, this isn’t you. You’d never hurt Aydan.”
“I’m not hurting him. I’m saving him.” A smile curls her mouth as she carves an ancient symbol into his skin, linking the markings together.
“Nesy, No!” I rush to her, reaching.
My fingers touch Nesy’s skin as she fades away from me, turning into a cyclone of black smoke. It thickens and flows into my mouth, filling every cell and crevice. I can’t move. Can’t think. Pain wracks through my body as the smoke fills the landscape.
I stumble back, unable to breathe. The ground under me spins and I collapse in a haze. Time has no meaning as moments and seconds blend together. I spin, trapped in an aguish I can’t escape.
Until finally, mercifully, the spinning stops. The smoke begins to thin.
“No,” I scream as a new scene forms in front of me.
Azza stabs Nesy over and over. Endless rivers of silver blood pour from the wounds and her mouth. “You caused this, Mediator,” Azza says. “You.”
I creep toward the image.
“Nesy belongs to me now. Aydan will follow. And all because of you.”
Laughter surrounds me. More pictures unleash in my thoughts, tossing me into chaos. Nesy and Aydan, both marked with the Beast. My brethren dying around me. Cass, tortured.
I choke on the onslaught and stumble to the ground.
“Cass,” I manage to sputter. “Help.”
Azza’s laughter replaces my voice. I reach for the dagger strapped to my boot and pull it from its sheath. I turn the dagger towards my heart.
“Do it,” Azza commands.
I look toward the voice, desperate to keep my hands from obeying his command. His skeletal body morphs into Lilith’s smoky form. His voice changes, becoming nothing more than thought.
You cannot beat me Zanethios of the Mediators. I warned you to stay away. But you wouldn’t listen. You angels never listen.
My dagger comes closer to my heart. My arm shakes as I hold it away.
The black smoke swirls and changes, turning into an image of Nessa. Same dark hair. Same navy eyes.
My arm continues to shake. The dagger nicks my neck. Lilith’s laughter surrounds me as the blade slices into my neck.
Deeper.
And deeper.
Her laughter changes to a chant meant to enslave me. The ancient words slither around me and I carve my own death.
My eyelids flutter as air fills my lungs in a rush. My body is heavy, stiff. My mind, confused. I take a slow breath. And another. Light filters into my thoughts, illuminating my mind. Images begin to form.
Azza and Lilith.
Nesy and Aydan.
Blood. My blood.
In a rush, everything comes into sharp focus. I sit up, my eyes spring open and I gasp for air.
“Slow down, Zane. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
I blink away the brilliant purple colors dancing in the space between Cass and I. She lays her hand over my chest and my pulse immediately slows. The heaviness leaves my body. My thoughts clear.
Nesy!
I turn, looking for her. Her body lies next to mine, the color drained from her face. “Nesy!”
Her eyes begin to flutter as she slowly moves her head. I turn from her to Cass.
“She’s alive. But I don’t exactly know what happened, whether or not we can trust her.”
I stare back at Nesy as she opens her eyes. Her gaze meets mine. There is no shock on her face. No fear or pain. Only the detached façade of a Sentinal.
“Zane,” she says as she stands. “Cass. You did it. I knew you’d do it. You found me.”
I stand, holding my breath.
“So you remember us?” Cass asks.
“I remember everything.” Nesy releases a shaky breath. “Azza wounded me. But you, you saved me Zane. I was sent here. Made mortal. But I didn’t know who I really was.”
“Do you remember anything else?” I have to know if she remembers us at all.
“Just bits and pieces. Most of the time, I felt like I was a prisoner in my own body, unable to control any of my actions. Other times, I was lost, scared. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.”
“Do you remember any of the people here?” Cass has never been good with subtleties.
“You mean, do I remember Aydan?”
“Do you?” I ask.
Nesy stares through me, confirming every fear. She doesn’t remember her promise, our professions of love. She doesn’t remember us at all.
“I know Aydan is here. And I remember seeing you here too. And Caim.”
I swallow back the tide of emotions rushing through me. Cass grabs my hand and squeezes it gently.
“We’re glad you’re back, Nesy. We were worried.” Cass never releases my hand.
“I was too. I should have known you’d find a way to help me. I have no words.”
“You’d do it for us,” I manage to say. My knees begin to buckle as she closes the distance between us.
She embraces me, then Cass. “I have to find Aydan. I’m sure he’s confused about everything.” She turns, takes a few steps and stops.
I hold my breath, hoping for the impossible. Nesy turns to face us, locking eyes with mine. “You sacrificed a lot for me, Zane. You saved me. I won’t ever forget what you’ve done for me. Not ever.”
My pulse roars in my ears as I release the breath I’ve held. “Go,” I say. “He needs you.”
Cass squeezes my hand as Nesy leaves her house, climbs into her car and drives up the coast.
Chapter 37 – WRATH
Aydan
I race to school, the bike shaking underneath me. Wind screams through my ears, taunting me. The Beast roars inside, pushing me faster. Further. Grad night celebrations have started by now. So many lives calling to me. So many souls to be consumed.
Part of me pushes against a destiny I can never seem to outrun. Another, louder part of me knows there is no point. With or without the last mark, I have but one fate now. The Beast. Any other possibilities died when Azza struck down Nesy.
The school is crowded as music blares from the gym. Groups of seniors walk around in a daze. The Beast screams to be fed. It would be so easy to give in to the endless hunger. So easy to succumb.
...You are more than a monster...
Nesy’s voice is clear in my thoughts. For a moment the Beast quiets. But only for a moment.
...You are my angel...
“Ahh!” I scream, pounding my fist against the wall that flanks the gymnasium. My anguish fuels my rage. And the monster inside.
All of my thoughts focus on my need to feed. The need to hunt. I walk inside, already knowing how tonight will end.
The gym has been transformed into a retro disco. It looks like Azza’s club—make-shift gothic architecture, stone sculptures of angels and demons, flashing lights set in rhythm to pounding music. I draw a deep breath, tasting the souls in the air. The Beast demands to be fed and I know I won’t be able to resist it.
Tonight, I don’t think I want to anymore.
I walk through the throng of students, acutely aware of their emotions. Lust, envy, greed. I feel alive in this place. Dangerous. It’s intoxicating and I want more.
So much more.
Surveying the scene, I see a girl standing alone against the far wall. Sadness clings to her skin. Immediately my marks burn to life. I finger the intricate knots, counting each line. I may only have five marks, the ritual may not be fully complete, but in this moment it doesn’t matter. I want the girl’s soul.
Need it.
Now.
Our eyes meet as I make my way across the room. “Hi,” I say over the music.
“Hi.” The girl tilts her head, her brown hair and eyes reminiscent of so many that I’ve taken before. She looks at me from under her long lashes, a smile forming on her lips.
“Are you alone?” I ask.
“Yes. Are you?”
The question seems strange to me. “Not anymore.” I reach out my hand. She grasps it without hesitation.
Mine for the taking.
We go outside, ducking into the dark corners that flank the backside of the building.
“I don’t remember seeing you around school.” I say as I press her up against the wall. She’s such an easy target. Willing to do anything I ask, no doubt.
“You were always with the other girl.”
Nessa. Why did she have to mention her?
“I’m alone now.”
She threads her hands into my hair. The Beast screams, my throat constricts, and I lean in.
Stop!
I push Nesy’s voice aside. It’s too late for that. Too late for me.
The girl pulls me to her, finding my lips with hers. Such willing prey. I won’t refuse what she offers.
I part her lips with my tongue, tasting her soul.
“Aydan! Stop.”
The voice isn’t in my head this time.
I pull back. Instantly my mind floods with images of Elle, Nesy, Nessa. Too many lifetimes lost. Too much love I can never have.
I ignore the movie playing in my thoughts, and kiss my prey again.
“Please, Aydan. It’s me. I remember everything now.”
A warm glow heats my mind, my heart. I step away from the girl and the Beast growls in protest. “Go,” I say through gritted teeth.
“What?” The girl looks hurt. Confused. She glances over my shoulder and her face stiffens. “Guess you’re not alone after all.” Shoving past me, she bumps into the one person I didn’t expect to see.
I release a heavy sigh and turn.
Nessa.
“Just listen to me,” she says as she closes the distance between us. “I remember now, Aydan. I remember everything. Us. Our lives, promises. Everything.”