Libera Me (26 page)
“You will not hurt me, Aydan. Not if you want a chance to preserve Nesy’s life.”
I’ve played this game before. I won’t be tempted into vengeance again. Not by her. Not by anyone.
“It’s too late. You and I are connected in a way you can’t possibly imagine.” Lilith rubs her stomach and smiles.
My mind flashes with images of a new race, one formed by the Beast. By me. “Never,” I hiss.
Lilith laughs. “Too late for that.”
More pictures invade my thoughts.
A night spent with Nessa, reclaiming a love once lost.
—
was it you Nesy?
The smell of smoke on Nessa’s skin.
—
was I tricked again?
My mind folds in as I understand what has happened now.
“There is nothing to be ashamed of, my pet. You and I, we have created a superior race. Born of the Beast, this being that grows in me carries the power of Celestium, the emotions of humanity, and the strength of the UnHoly. It will fulfill my father’s mission so long ago and restore the Jinn.”
My stomach churns as bile rises through me.
“Celestium will pay. Infernum will pay. The world can only be ruled by one master. Our creation, this new race, will establish a new world order.”
“No,” I finally manage to say.
“You can speak,” Lilith says. “Good. You are finding your strength. But, you cannot refuse me, pet. Not now.”
I step back, spitting the bile from my throat. “Then kill me.”
“I don’t need to.” Lilith steps forward, grabbing my hands.
“Invoco demonas. Invoco.
I call on you, Beast.”
Lilith takes another step closer, pulling me to her. I stiffen, desperate to ignore her siren call. “
Invoco
,” she whispers before kissing me.
I want to scream “No.” But I am not Aydan now. I am not angelic or UnHoly. I am the Beast.
And I am her slave.
Chapter 40 – Libera Me
Zane
Clouds swirl around us as we hike up the trails behind Aydan’s house. It’s been one week since he died. One week since Nesy’s memories returned and Lilith claimed Aydan.
The papers reported it as a horrible grad night accident. But Nesy’s knows the truth. Most of it, at least.
The ritual restored all of her memories, but she isn’t the same now. She’ll never be the same. There’s too much grief. Too much regret.
I wear the same coat of sadness that I see on her, feel the same anguish.
Lightning lights up the sky as we reach the crest of the hill. Thunder booms and rain begins to pelt the ground, soaking everything.
“We should head back.”
“Not yet,” Nesy says. She piles the rocks she’s been collecting into a makeshift grave and places a wildflower on top. “I’m sorry Aydan,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
The pain in her voice shreds me. “This wasn’t your fault, Nesy.”
“I should have remembered who I was, should have fought harder.”
“We’ve been through this. You couldn’t have resisted Lilith. This isn’t your fault. It’s hers. And Caim’s.”
“Maybe, but if I had remembered—”
I stop her words with my finger. I won’t let her bash herself again, not when I know who’s really to blame.
“Nesy,” I say, the words dripping with my guilt. “I have something I need to say.”
“Me first,” she says. She stares through me, melting me as always.
“Okay fine. You first.”
The rain continues to pour as Nesy grabs my hands, sending a familiar current through me.
“I know what you did for me, what you sacrificed.”
My heart stops and I hold my breath.
“Cass told me what you sacrificed to bring my memories back”
I swallow hard, still refuse to breathe.
“There’s more,” she says. “I remember what I did. The kiss. The promise. I remember everything.”
Tears fill my eyes. I can’t have this conversation. Not yet. “You’ve always belonged to Aydan.”
Nesy reaches for my hands. “Why didn’t you ever tell me what you felt? Before, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because of how you’re looking at me right now.”
“What? I—”
“I can’t handle your pity.”
Nesy’s eyes fill and I immediately wish I could take back my words. She releases a hard breath and turns away. I don’t know what to say, what to do.
“Nesy,” I say, turning her face toward mine. “I knew the risk I was taking in bringing your memories back. I knew you’d choose Aydan. You’ll always choose Aydan.”
“Then why would you risk it?”
“For you.”
A tear spills down Nesy’s cheek. I kiss it away. “It’s okay,” I say. “You’re friendship is more important to me than anything else.”
“You must hate me,” she says.
I pull her into an embrace. “I will never hate you.” We hold each other for a minute before I’m willing to let go.
I have to tell her the truth now. About everything. The deal with Lilith. Mikayel’s involvement. The reason Lilith took Aydan. Everything.
“Aydan isn’t dead, is he?” Nesy’s words break my silence.
“Why do you ask?”
“The girl, the one that looks like me and smells of smoke, she took him with her, didn’t she?”
I swallow hard. “Yes.”
“Why?”
I close my eyes. “Not here,” I say. “Let’s get out of the rain first.”
The rain comes harder as we make our way back to the abandoned apartment. Aydan’s apartment. It feels wrong talking about everything here. But, I’ve made Nesy wait long enough for this conversation.
Nesy sits on the couch as I explain it all. Caim and Lilith. Mikayel and Azza. The prophesies I shouldn’t know about. And the deal. My deal with Lilith.
Nesy is quiet throughout the conversation. With each twist, each event, she becomes more like the warrior I know. Detached. Focused. Unemotional.
“So Lilith plans to use Aydan in a war with both Celestium and Infernum, yes?”
“Yes.”
“She’s crazy. There’s no way she can win such a war. Aydan will not help her.”
“He already has, I fear.”
I expect to see a flash of sadness of regret on her face. But there is nothing, only the calculating express of a warrior.
“So be it. You need to talk with the Council. Prepare them.”
Cass appears as the words leave Nesy’s mouth. “I’m with her, you need to come home.”
“What about Nesy?” I ask. I won’t leave her again.
“We can’t take her with us,” Cass answers.
“And I won’t leave her.”
“I’m in the room guys. I can hear you, you know. And I’ll be fine here.”
I take her hands in mine. “I won’t leave you.”
“No one said anything about leaving her unprotected.”
“What—”
Cass cuts my words off with a single glare. “Nesy, I think it’s time to meet your family.”
“What family? What are you talking about?”
Cass pulls out Lorelei’s necklace. The winged charm dangles in front of Nesy. “You have a lot more family than you know.”
Nesy grabs the charm from Cass, her face pinched in confusion.
Cass opens the door. Standing on the porch are two kids I recognize from the school, a boy and a girl. Both have the same green eyes as Lorelei, the same features. Both Seers, just like Lorelei. They are dressed in black and wearing matching winged charms.
The boy opens his mouth to speak. “Hi. I’m Tristan. You must be Nesy. I’d hoped we’d get to meet finally.”
“Finally?”
“Yes, I’ve been watching you at school, waiting for the right time to talk with you.”
Nesy’s facial expression shifts slightly, moving from confusion to the cool detachment of a Sentinal.
“And you are?” Nesy asks the quiet girl standing next to Tristan.
“Ellie,” she mumbles.
“Ellie? Interesting. My name—”
“Was Elle,” the girl says. “I know. I was named after you.”
A vortex opens next to Cass and she steps inside. “We have to go, Zane. Nesy’s safe and Gabriel isn’t going to wait forever.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about anything. We’ll keep her safe with us, though I have a feeling she can take care of herself.” Tristan smiles. He looks so much like Lorelei. Same fierce determination. Same loyalty.
I face Nesy, taking her hands in mine again. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m fine. Go. Talk with the Council. I’ll use the next few days to figure out how to get Aydan back.”
“Nesy!”
“You know I’m going after him somehow. I have to.”
I swallow hard as Cass pulls me into the vortex.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” I yell as the portal closes. “Wait for us.”
I reach Celestium conflicted. Nesy may be safe for now. But it won’t last. Not with Lilith and Caim bent on vengeance. Not with Aydan compromised and the Beast unleashed.
And not with Nesy determined to save him, regardless of the cost.
I face Cass as we walk into the Council chambers. “Nesy will wait for us, right?”
“What do you think?” Cass smirks.
I was afraid of that.
Acknowledgements
Wow! What a journey this story turned out to be. So many times I wanted to throw my computer across the room, so many times I wanted to email my publisher and give up. Thankfully, I had a support system that kept me on track, kept me focused and kept my muse alive:
To the team at Compass Press ~ I will never tire of telling all of you how amazing you are – from the editing to the cover, the book design to the marketing, you have helped me achieve things I never thought possible! I have no words to appropriately express my gratitude.
To Heather McCorkle, my friend, my CP and my consoler ~ you saw the potential in this story from our first brain storming sessions. Thank you for never giving up, for reading so fast and furiously in order to allow me to meet my tight deadlines, and for supplying the confidence I needed whenever I said I QUIT!
To Elana Johnson ~ I have no words to express how much I appreciate you. Without our nightly chats, the endless writing sprints and the “ledge”parties, this book would still be in draft form, hopelessly a mess on my laptop. THANK YOU for everything!
To Michelle McLean ~ You, too, are a constant beacon in my life, support that knows no end. Thank you for all you do for me, whether you know it or not!
To my first “fangirls” ~ Brooke, Shelly, Sylvia, Tiffany, Nickle and Jen – you guys kept the motivation in place. I am quite certain Zane, Aydan and Nesy would be nothing without your support.
To Naomi ~ Thanks for loaning me “Tristan”; although nothing more than a cameo in this story, I have “seen” the story that lays ahead, and man...what an amazing character!
To my Goodreads “family” ~ Thanks for accepting me into the fold, being my cheerleaders and accepting the stories I have longed to tell.
And finally, to the foundation of my life ~ Dirck, Fabiana, Erika, and my extended family; I really have no words to express everything your support as meant. Seeing you read my books, brainstorm on the way to your sports, etc, and listen to my stories...it has all meant more than words can adequately express. THANK YOU!!!
About the Author:
http://www.christinefonseca.com/
Critically acclaimed nonfiction and YA author Christine Fonseca is dedicated to helping children of all ages find their voice in the world. Using her expertise as an educational psychologist, her titles delve into the often misunderstood world of emotional intensity, resiliency and giftedness. Recent titles include
Lacrimosa
and
Dies Irae
, from the Requiem Series, and the recently released thriller,
Transcend
.
Christine lives in Southern California with her husband and daughters. She can be found sipping a skinny vanilla latte at her favorite coffee house, writing her next book. She can be found on her
website
, or on her
blog
.
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