License to Love (64 page)

“Hey there.” He reached down and tickled her.

“Up! Up!” As she yelled, she started pulling herself right
into his lap. He couldn’t say no to her earnest brown eyes and cute little
face. She seemed well-adjusted, considering she didn’t have a father around,
and they’d just moved.

“Aubrey, say please.” Savanna said, “Up
please
.”

Jason pulled her up after she attempted to say please. One
look into Savanna’s eyes, and her obvious adoration for Aubrey told him the
reason why Aubrey was so happy.

“I’m glad someone likes me.” He smiled, and his face felt
strange because he hadn’t smiled in a long time. Aubrey rubbed his whiskers and
messed up his hair.

“Wow, she’s really interested in you.”

Are you?
“Guess I’m funny-looking.”

Savanna tried to smile. Almost there. Since she looked more
relaxed, Jason asked, “What are your plans after you leave here?”

She looked down, and her face seemed to darken.

“I’m sorry, I’m just curious.” He might have blown that one
by asking the wrong question. Aubrey wiggled off his lap and ran to a box of
toys, dumping it out onto the floor with a clatter. They ignored the noise.

“It’s just that I don’t know,” Savanna said once Aubrey sat
down to play. “I think Cassie needs me here a while longer, and then I need to
look for a job.”

“So what do you do?”

She sighed and he thought she was trying not to cry. He
moved onto the couch beside by her, wanting to fix the sadness he’d caused,
wanting to hang onto her to ease his own suffering.

Savanna rubbed the bridge of her nose and said, “I’m not
sure. I didn’t work after college. Just any job, I guess, as long as it’s something
soon.”

Jason didn’t like the worry in her voice. “Savanna, I
shouldn’t ask, but are you separated, divorced?” When she looked his way to
answer, her lip quivered. “Are you running from him?”

“No. We’re divorced. It’s been a while.” Anger flashed in
her eyes for the briefest second. “He left right after Aubrey was born, and
that was the end of it.”

“What the hell?” What would make a man leave his wife and
baby? A jolt hit him. “But she’s not a baby anymore. Cassie thought you were
married all this time. You stayed in Texas since then?”

“Stupid, I know.” Her head dropped. “I held on, thinking
he’d come around, but he was just annoyed whenever I called.”

“I’m so sorry, Savanna.”

“My last name is Thompson, by the way. I didn’t want to
explain when you called me Stauffer the day you picked me up.”

“No big deal. It’s nice to re-meet you, Savanna Thompson.”
He had trouble pulling his gaze away from her. She seemed to notice and got
embarrassed. So he asked another question. “Is he paying child support?”

“No.”

“What? Your husband must make good money. You know you can
deny child visits if he won’t pay child support.”

“Ex-husband. And I don’t want any of his money.” Savanna
rubbed her face and looked over at Aubrey. “He doesn’t want to see her. He
never wanted kids and considered her a mistake. He said getting married was a
mistake.”

Jason looked from the little girl to Savanna. “And alimony?”

“He’ll take her away if I ask.”

“What?” Before he thought, he reached over and laid his hand
on Savanna’s leg. Her gaze met his and something clicked. He thought he read
possibilities in her eyes.

Then he remembered why he’d put his hand there in the first
place. He kept his language in check since little Aubrey sat right there, but
if he ever saw Savanna’s ex-husband, he’d have more than some ugly words to
throw at him. “So that’s it? He walks away?”

She leaned down into her hands. Instantly he put an arm
around her and smoothed his hand over her back. He wouldn’t stand for this. He
had to help her. So what if it made Cassie mad? He was doing everything he
could think of to get through to her. He also saw how much Savanna was hurting.

She surprised him when she leaned into him, warm and small.
She smelled of summer breeze and wildflowers, and she felt like heaven. He
shocked himself by saying, “When you need a place, I rent out two townhouses.
I’ve got an open spot.”

She sat up, looking into his eyes. “Cassie knows you own the
townhouses?”

Darn it. “Yeah, I live in one of them.” But he knew Savanna
might need it. “I want to help you get on your feet. You could use it, rent
free.”

“I couldn’t do that.”

“If you want to live by yourself and afford daycare, you
might have to.” Wow, he sounded harsh. First her husband had dumped her out
into the world without any help, and now he was shoving life’s hard realities
at her. For that matter, he couldn’t push her into using the place, as much as
he wanted to help. As much as he wanted to have her closer to him. “I apologize
for being blunt, but you’re in a spot where it’s okay to ask for help. It’s
hard starting over without a job, especially with a little girl.”

“I know,” she said softly. “What would Cassie think?” She
murmured the words, but he still heard her.

“She’ll be happy that you’ll be fairly close.”

“I do need to think about getting on my feet here . . . and
for Cassie’s sake, too. I think it makes her sad sometimes to have Aubrey
around.”

Puzzled, he waited to see if she’d say more, but then he
caught on. Mike had talked a lot about how badly they wanted to start their own
family. Savanna’s head leaned into him. He nuzzled her hair and looked over at
the little girl as she played. He didn’t know much about caring for children,
but he’d learned they could pick up on a mood pretty easy. Surely Cassie
wouldn’t want to do that to Aubrey. It was just that Cassie had so much to deal
with of her own.

“Well, if you insist on paying rent, we can work something
out.” Jason didn’t want her money, but he wanted to help any way she’d let him.
After all, she’d been trying to help him with Cassie.

He heard wood slap wood outside and recognized the sound of
the gate opening. Time to go. Savanna pulled away from him like he’d suddenly
caught fire. And once Cassie spotted him, he just might. Jason jumped to his
feet before the screen door opened and Cassie walked in. Savanna wiped the
tears from her face, looking flustered.

Cassie narrowed her eyes. “Jason.”

Nice warm tone there.

“Cassie, hey. I brought a box from work . . .” He gestured
toward her table.

“His things?” she asked through tears as her shoulders began
to shake. Well, she was the only person who could call it what it was. He
wanted to rush to her and hug her. Tell her she’d make it. All of them had to
somehow.

She held the door open, keeping her eyes focused the other
way. “Please go, Jason.”

Fine. Still, he had to look at Savanna before he left. He
couldn’t expect Cassie to see Savanna’s problems. He saw them, though. He
looked back to see hurt in her eyes and worry about Cassie.

Jason’s workweek went by in a blur. They received the normal
amount of fire calls, but he still wasn’t allowed to go on calls. They were
worried he couldn’t handle it. By Thursday, he’d found out work wasn’t the
distraction he’d hoped for. Instead, he kept expecting Mike to come in.

That evening, he went home and took a cold beer into the
small backyard. Each townhouse had its own fenced-off space behind it, but his
also had a side yard since he lived in the end unit.

He kicked back in a lawn chair in shorts, feeling the air
cool around him. September already. Life thought it could just go on.

“Excuse me? Jason?”

He jerked. Savanna stood outside the waist-high fence in a
blue shirt, her hair teased every which way like she’d had a hectic day. If
little Aubrey wasn’t sitting on her hip, he could have launched into some
pretty erotic fantasies.

“Savanna, come on in.” He opened the gate and gave Aubrey’s
curls a pat as Savanna walked by. In return, he got a chubby smile. “How’s it
going?”

“Well, it’s going.”

“Know that feeling.” He motioned to a chair next to his and
they sat down. Moments like these made him wish he could talk things over with
Mike after work. Talk about Savanna. More specifically, about Jason’s feelings
toward her. Mike wouldn’t point out that Jason shouldn’t have these feelings.
He’d just listen till Jason reached his own conclusion.

“Want something to drink?” he asked Savanna. Aubrey pulled
on his shorts, so he smiled down at her. The little girl liked something about
him. With a jolt, he found himself thinking about the similarities between
them. Then he chided himself. It didn’t mean anything that they both had brown
hair and brown eyes.

Savanna shook her head. “I’ve been thinking about what you
said.” She’d pulled her gaze from him halfway through her sentence. That might
have been embarrassment on her face. “You see, I would just stay with Cassie,
but . . .”

“So you’re taking me up on my offer?” He liked how she got
embarrassed about it, but he didn’t let the grin appear on his face.

“If you’re still offering. I’m looking for work, so I’ll pay
rent as soon as I can.”

Life felt a little better, a little brighter. He could see
something floating in the waves to grab. Maybe he could keep afloat with
Savanna close by.

“No need to worry about it; pay when you can.” He didn’t
care if she ever paid him a cent. Feeling bolstered, he asked, “How’s Cassie?”

“Better.” The answer came quickly and easily. Maybe life was
getting better there too. “She’s a little more together, but she’s not going
back to work just yet.”  

He thought on that a minute. It’d be nice to see Cassie
happy again. Yet, it also just felt wrong to move on too quickly.

“Can I assume she’s still mad at me?” He watched Savanna
while she watched her little girl play with a daisy. A long minute later, she
nodded to his question. There didn’t seem to be more to say on that. Instead he
asked, “But you and me, we’re okay, aren’t we?”

“We are,” she agreed. He had to be her friend, somehow he
needed that, and maybe he could put off thinking about the other currents
running between them. It wasn’t the time or place in life to be fantasizing
about touching her skin. She’d run for sure if she had any idea how he felt. He
didn’t expect Savanna to say more about Cassie, but she did. “I tried to get
through but . . .”

But the truth stood in the way.

 “She has a right to blame me. I thought about only what was
best for Mike, not about both of them or their future. I assumed he could
explain to her how much he loved his job and she’d eventually accept it.” He reached
behind his chair to where he’d hidden his beer and took a long swig and
replaced it. It wasn’t like Aubrey knew what it was, but he didn’t want to
drink in front of her either. He’d had it out here before they arrived, and now
he didn’t want to interrupt the conversation to go put it away. He just wanted
to sit out here with Savanna.

“You don’t blame yourself, do you?” she asked with those
wild green eyes, looking puzzled. “Because you have absolutely no reason to.”

No one had actually said that to him. He wanted to thank her
but couldn’t talk. She leaned over a bit to make eye contact, and he nodded,
trying to show his feelings.  

“Ahh, darn it.” He looked over the surrounding rooftops at
the tall timber and the hills beyond. “I can’t tell what I’m feeling. What
about you? How are you doing with all this, on top of your own stuff?”

She blinked and shrugged with a forced smile, and he knew he
wouldn’t get an answer. He had run around her question, too, and couldn’t blame
her for doing the same.

Her shirt hung just low enough to show her tan line when she
leaned forward, but he didn’t let himself look. The hottest babe he’d ever run
across sat there, and he couldn’t check her out. When he looked at her, all he
saw were those big, green eyes.

He knew what it was. Her baby. Dating a mom meant a lot of
things in a real short amount of time. And she was Cassie’s best friend. And
dealing with a divorce. And facing single parenthood. Off limits on so many
levels.

So why couldn’t he shake the adrenaline rush he got every
time he saw her? He’d never gotten that feeling from a woman before, like
jumping off a building or doing something wild and crazy, but he couldn’t stop
himself.

Finally, he broke the silence. “You sure have a good kid
there.”

A huge smile spread across her face. The dimples. At last,
the dimples. Her white teeth flashed and then the smile went soft and warm.
“The best. She’s so sweet and well behaved.” She caught him with her eyes
again. “Thanks for helping me. Twice, now.”

“I think I’m allowed to help you more than once.”

Her smile flickered on, and then faded. “Have I told you how
sorry I am?”

“Everyone has, but it’s nobody’s fault. I just miss him.” They
sat in thought over that. The silence and companionship felt nice, so nice, in
fact, that he could picture many more peaceful evenings spent together. “Did
you know Mike all that well?”

“No, not really. They got married after I left for Texas.
We’d already started on two different roads.”

“You and Cassie?” This was interesting. He hadn’t noticed
any awkward feelings between them, but he sure saw the remorse on Savanna’s
face now.

“I’m fixing that,” she said.

He wanted to fix the hurt between him and Cassie, too. He
missed his friend.

Savanna stood. “I guess I should go. I’ll have to tell
Cassie my plans.”

He stood with her and gestured to the building. “It’s ready
whenever you want to move in. And I can show it to you anytime.”

Now that she’d arrived and turned his bleak evening around,
he wanted her to stay. There just wasn’t a good way to ask or a real reason for
her to linger.

“All right,” she said, though it wasn’t a commitment. She
laughed then. “There’s not much to move in.”