License to Love (75 page)

Eleven

The clouds hung low like wet paper napkins as Savanna drove
home from her mom’s house. She saw the storm coming and felt it in the air.

Discovering Eric had cheated on her had been like
discovering she’d been standing on a floor that didn’t exist. She couldn’t
repeat that mistake. Going through the pain of not being wanted, even during
the marriage, had completely changed her.

Could Jason possibly be so sweet to her while still seeing
Rachael? To be honest, they weren’t officially dating, so he could see other
women if he wanted to.

If he wanted to break her heart, that is.

The street in front of her car flashed white. The loud
thunder that followed shook her car, making Aubrey scream. Obese raindrops
thudded down, clapping and pounding. The hard rain sent wet-pavement smell into
the car.

“It’s just a thunderstorm, Aubrey. I’ll get you home soon.” Savanna
couldn’t drive any faster, however, because the pavement would be oily after the
dry summer. The first rain always made the road slick. She pulled into her
driveway and debated waiting out the storm. There was no telling how long that
would take, however, and she couldn’t take any more of Aubrey’s screams. She
had to get her inside and calm her down.

She jumped out of the car, flung open Aubrey’s door, and
quickly undid her buckles.

Suddenly, the constant water on her back quit, yet the
rain’s music still sounded. She glanced back to see Jason holding an umbrella
over them.

Their gazes met for a brief look. It lasted only a second
but said so much.

“Thanks!” She hauled Aubrey up into her arms and ran inside.
Jason hopped because he didn’t have his crutches. She was out of breath as they
burst into her door.

“Some storm, huh?” He held the umbrella out the front door
and shook the rain off. Aubrey hung onto her, screaming still, but then Jason
turned on the light and patted her back.

Aubrey nuzzled her face into Savanna’s shoulder as Jason’s
hand patted a slow, steady beat, soothing her. She calmed down and yawned.

When Jason’s face came up, his eyes looked dark and shiny,
dangerous . . . in a sexy way. His hair and skin were wet. She couldn’t look
away.

“I sure hope you don’t give that look to anyone else.” He
spoke in a low voice that echoed through her and gave her excited chills.

She felt herself smile, even though she had planned to play
it cool. “No one else makes me feel like this.” She whispered since Aubrey had
just fallen asleep.

“How’s that?” he asked.

The room lit up from the lightning outside, and then thunder
rumbled like a thousand monster trucks. She pulled Aubrey even closer until it
passed.

“Let me take Aubrey to bed before I tell you.”

He stood in the living room, unable to take his gaze off
Savanna as she walked up the stairs. The stair’s soft nightlight lit the way,
making her look like a dream as she ascended.

He’d love to sink his fingers through all that thick,
sunshine-blond hair. Run his hands up and down her generous curves. He couldn’t
move for a minute, but when she disappeared upstairs, he turned on the small
lamp on her end table. She hadn’t been joking about not having much furniture.
There was more baby furniture than anything else.

He could buy her new furniture, but that might offend her.
He wanted to build her a house with a big yard for Aubrey, a swing set, a tree
fort, and a brown lab to lie on the porch.

Nope, he wasn’t going overboard at all. And it wouldn’t
scare her at all to hear what he was thinking.

She’d derailed his thoughts with her wet, sexy look, but now
his doubts popped back up. Why hadn’t she told him something was going on?
Maybe he took their relationship more seriously than she did, and maybe she
didn’t feel the need to tell him about Eric.

She walked down the stairs and into his arms, still damp
from the rain and slightly chilled. To warm her up, he rubbed his hands on her
arms. “Savanna . . .”

He needed to ask her but didn’t know how to form the words.
The tone of his voice must have told her something, because she paused and
looked at him. In the dim light, she looked uncertain.

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

“Yes, I know,” she whispered while continuing to search his
face, but the way she said it meant she wanted to know why.

“It’s just . . . I heard about Eric, about the whole custody
thing, and you haven’t told me.” Jason felt her grow stiff in his arms.

“It never seemed like the right time.” Savanna’s words
sounded like an apology.

He’d been leaning on her and spilling all his emotions. Now
that irritated him. “Why can’t I be there for you, like you’ve been there for
me?”

“I . . . you are, I just couldn’t talk about it.”

“But I want to know what’s going on in your life, Savanna.
I’m taking all your time. I’m telling you about my dark and ugly secrets.”

“I know. I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to think
about it, so it was easy to let it slip. That way, I wouldn’t stress you with
it, either. It means so many different things. There’s a mediation meeting
coming up, and I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but we’ve had other
important things to talk about too.”

It hurt to hear things had been progressing, and she had
been dealing with them on her own. He could also tell she saw his hurt. “Let me
be here for you, okay? I want to know everything. I’ll be right here with you
through it all.”

She looked honestly flabbergasted that he didn’t want to run
from her and her problems. That almost made him laugh. If only she knew how
much he admired her, wanted her, needed her.

Jason kissed her forehead. “But don’t you feel better now?
Didn’t you want me to know?”

Now Savanna looked wishful as she gazed at him. “Yeah.” She
exhaled, sounding relieved, and that broke him. Pulling her into his arms felt
so right. Her mouth parted while she stared up into his eyes. He planted his
lips on hers.

He kissed her breathless before saying, “I wish I could
carry you to the couch.”

“Later on you can.”

“Promise?” Jason asked. She nodded and they went together,
him using one crutch for his broken leg. Thunder crashed again but not as loud
as before.

“Does it hurt?” she asked, with a gesture toward his leg.

“Not really.” He didn’t think about it long, but pulled her
up into his lap. “Well, maybe a little bit, but you can kiss me and make me
better.”

She nestled her bottom right up against him. “You naughty
boy.”

“No,” he said, kissing her neck. “Just crazy about you. And
the ticklish spot right there.” He planted kisses all over her, not just her
neck, until she grabbed his face in her hands and brought their mouths
together.

Why couldn’t he give in to his needs? Give her what she
wanted?

Torture. He loved and hated touching her. He loved the feel
of her; he hated losing control. Her silky skin felt so smooth under his rough
hands, her curves yielding against him. With her mouth on his, she could ask
him for anything.

Tonight wasn’t the same. Tonight he couldn’t contain the
painful need he felt for her, the need eating him up inside. Skimming his hands
over her shirt, he grazed her ribs and the swell of her breasts.

She jumped and tightened her hold on him. Her tongue worked
magic on him, teasing his mouth. Just like he’d fantasized, he ran his hands
into her hair, feeling the fullness of it, the softness. When his hand traced
down her neck, she made her little noise.

That spot. Unable to resist, he kissed his way to the
sensitive place below her ear. She went wild, flattened her breasts against
him, and hung onto him. He nibbled where he’d kissed before.

She cried out, a shriek of pleasure, and while she gasped in
a breath, he heard Aubrey cry from upstairs.

Thunder clapped.

With a jerk, Savanna sat up, ran her fingers through her
hair. “Uh . . . Oh, Aubrey.”

They looked at each through a haze of desire while their
brains cleared. “You should go up there.”

She nodded and headed upstairs. Now he pushed both hands
through his hair, leaning back into her couch. Even blowing out a big breath
didn’t clear his head.

The mood, however, was ruined. The storm grew stronger
again, and he could hear Aubrey crying between the booms. He stood to go
upstairs and help, but then he saw Savanna standing at the top of the stairs.
“Sorry, but I think she needs me tonight.”

“Don’t be sorry.” They waved before he headed out. Probably
a good thing. Or was it?

Jason stood by his bedroom window, looking out at the tall
spruce trees stretching skyward across the street. After last night’s storm,
the air felt fresh and clear as the world outside warmed up.

Only a few white clouds floated high on the wind, puffed
here and there. Looking out, he itched to get out of his cast and get on with
his life, maybe go back to work at the fire station. He didn’t feel like he was
giving Savanna his best the way he was now.

Why couldn’t he let go of this guilt? He felt like some kind
of freak, unable to make love to the woman of his dreams, and all because of the
cast. Well, because of what the cast symbolized. He wanted her so badly and
knew she didn’t believe that.

The phone rang, but he knew Savanna wouldn’t be calling him
this early. When she called, she claimed to be checking on him, but they both
knew he didn’t need that anymore. He needed to hear her voice, though.

It rang and rang, so he grabbed it. “Hello?”

“Yes, Jason Lancaster?”

“Speaking.” He’d taken a few survey calls in his time at
home, but the stiff voice didn’t sound like a telemarketer.

“I’m calling in regard to Savanna Thompson. She listed you
as a reference on her rental application.”

Jason felt a weight slam into his chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t
know a Savanna Thompson.”

“No? That’s odd. Are you sure?”

“I know who rents from me.” He wanted to ask the woman her
name, but the irritated voice said goodbye and hung up. Drumming his fingers on
the phone, he sat down on the bed.

While he showered and ate breakfast, he turned the
conversation over in his head and debated whether he should ask Savanna about
it.

At twelve fifteen, the phone rang, answering any doubt in
his mind. Of course he’d be open about everything with her, especially after he’d
gotten on her for that very thing the night before. “Hey, babe.”

“Is everything okay?” Savanna sounded ready to drive over
and save him. His voice must have given his worry away already.

“Yeah, thanks,” he chuckled, wondering how she had become
the knight in shining armor while he always needed saving. “I got the strangest
call today. You’d tell me before looking for another place to live, wouldn’t
you?”

“Of course.” She paused, and Jason heard her breathe. “Why?”

“A woman called to verify me as your reference on an alleged
rental application, but she didn’t ask the normal questions. Something felt odd
. . .  seemed weird, so I said I didn’t know you.” Right away, he heard her
breath quicken.

“A woman? Did she give a name?”

“No, that was the other strange thing about it. Now that I
know Eric’s messing with you, I thought maybe the call is related.”

Savanna’s reaction confirmed his feelings. Though he
reassured her, Jason decided to stay watchful for anyone lurking around the
townhouses.

After her phone call with Jason, Savanna’s workday dragged
by, even though she enjoyed her job. She didn’t need anything else to worry
about, but how could she ignore that someone was looking for her? There was no
way in hell Eric would even want to track her down . . . At least, he wouldn’t
because he was looking for her. He could be looking for Aubrey. There was also his
mother. That woman had been controlling and evil, scaring Savanna, and she
shivered as she wondered why the old witch would want anything from her now.

It wasn’t just the strange phone call casting shadows on
Savanna’s day. She’d never asked Jason about Rachael’s visit.

When she arrived home later, Jason took one look at her and
held his arms open.

She felt her breath wheeze out of her lungs when they
embraced. Aubrey saw her mama sitting wrapped in Jason’s arms on the couch, and
she climbed up to join them.

“Hey, look who wants a hug,” he said. Savanna helped Aubrey
up onto Jason’s good leg. He pulled them both close, kissing Savanna’s head and
then Aubrey’s. The little girl got her hug and then wiggled down to play some
more. That left Jason free to wrap his arms around Savanna.

“Feeling better now?” he asked.

“I can’t even tell you.” Her voice was soft because, right
at that moment, she finally understood exactly what Cassie had lost. Her face
crumpled and she started to cry.

“Hey, what just happened?” Alarm filled his voice.

“I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

“I’ve never had this. I didn’t know what Cassie had, and now
she’s lost it.” It felt so good to let loose and not care if someone saw her
tears.

“Oh, baby.” Nudging her head into his neck, he held her
close. She curled up into him, clinging. She’d needed this so badly from Eric
but had never got it. And until she felt someone’s arms around her, making
things all right, she didn’t even know how desperately she’d craved the
support. “I’m here . . . and I know I’m not giving you everything I’ve got . .
. but I will. You’ve got desires, and I do too. I just don’t want to give it to
you broken.”

He didn’t mean just his leg. She hung on tighter, not
knowing what else to do. He pulled her closer, onto his lap and ran his hand up
and down her back. She could hear Aubrey playing in the kitchen and wondered if
they would get caught.