License to Love (74 page)

“Shopping? The park?” Savanna suggested. A movie would be
perfect, since they could avoid conversation, but that didn’t work with Aubrey.

“Shopping, I guess.” Cassie didn’t sound excited. “It’s
exercise, right?”

“Yup, and good for the soul!” Savanna wanted to cheer them
both up, although Cassie probably needed it more. She needed distracted from all
the sticky issues that crept around in her mind. At one point in the mall, she
thought she spotted her ex mother-in-law, Georgia. Good grief, all her old
problems were mixing with her new ones. It looked like Cassie’s own demons were
distracting her, too.

After two hours in the mall, they went outside to the
playground and let Aubrey loose. Sitting off to the side, Cassie looked lost in
her thoughts, while Savanna kept close to her daughter.

“Cassie?” Savanna sat beside her, feeling her heart thumping
wildly.

Cassie’s eyes grew sharp and focused on her.

“You never touch Aubrey,” she said as gently as she could,
not wanting the hurt and anger she felt to come through in her voice. “Maybe
you’ve been distant because you’re hurting . . . and I understand why. I just
keep thinking about it and wanted to say something.”

Cassie’s eyes widened as she looked over at Aubrey playing
on the playground.

“I don’t?” She looked shocked. “I’m sorry.” Cassie turned
back to her, remorse in her light brown eyes. “I guess I’ve been so sad about .
. . about how I wanted my own baby.”

“I know, and I hurt for you, so I didn’t want to say
anything about. It’s just that I feel like a gap is growing between us.”

“I didn’t mean it.” Cassie’s earnestness reached down deep
in Savanna, reminding her all of the high school heartaches they’d seen each
other through. Thick and thin, they had always said.

“I didn’t think you did.” She should have talked to Cassie
about it sooner. “But we’re supposed to be helping each other. I don’t want you
to have to deal with that alone.”

“Thanks,” Cassie said. “I’m not sure how to deal with some
things. I can sit around and cry and think about how it isn’t fair, but I don’t
want to wallow in this hurt forever, either.”

Savanna laid an arm around Cassie’s shoulders. She
understood to some extent. It wouldn’t be right to say she knew how Cassie
felt, not really.

They pretended things weren’t so bad when Savanna got Aubrey,
and they walked out to the parking lot.

“I think I need to get home and start getting my house in
order.” Cassie said in the car. “I’ve let things go, and I need to reorganize
some stuff.”

Imagining what that meant, Savanna didn’t want her to be
alone. “Want company?”

“No. I’m sorry. I think I want some quiet.”

“Okay,” she said, although she didn’t feel good about it.
Hadn’t Cassie had plenty of quiet? She’d talked about helping each other today,
but apparently Cassie didn’t apply that to everything.

Monday morning, Jason slammed around the house because
Savanna wasn’t there with him. He knew he couldn’t have all her time, but it
didn’t make him feel better.

He wanted to do some of the cleaning so Savanna wouldn’t be
working so hard whenever she came over. It was his mess, after all.

Someone knocked and his heart rate jumped, but then he knew
it wasn’t Savanna. She usually came right in after knocking. He laughed as he
thought he should let her walk in on him in his boxers one of these days if
Aubrey wasn’t with her.

His shoulders fell when he looked through the peephole and
saw Rachael.

This was the last thing he wanted. Only pure curiosity got
him to open the door.

“Hi, Jason.” Her eyeliner was on thick and her perfume
heavy.

“Rachael,” he responded coolly. “What’s up?”

“I came here to ask you that. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.” She stood there, so he slowly backed up. “Come on
in.”

“You don’t look too bad. I heard your jeep was totaled.”

That sure made him feel better. She sat down, although he
didn’t offer.

“Why are you here?” They had hardly spoken since she gave
him that ultimatum. That felt like a lifetime ago, and one that he didn’t care
about.

“I’m worried about you, Jason.”

“Everyone is.” That didn’t mean he wanted it, though.
Especially from her. Boy, she didn’t show this much concern when they were
dating. Anger made his jaw feel tight as he thought about asking her why she
cheated on him.

“I feel bad about how you and I ended.”

“Yes, but we’re over, Rachael. I appreciate your visit, but
I don’t need your help.”

“It looks like you do.”

She just wouldn’t leave. “Tell me who got you pregnant when
we were dating,” he dared. Her head shook like a cold blast of wind hit her.
When a minute passed without an answer, he added, “If you can’t be honest with
me, we can’t be friends.”

“Jason, I don’t want to be just friends. I need you. I
didn’t want to break up.” She had genuine pain showing in her eyes. He didn’t
like her, but he had a hard time being an ass to anyone.

This wasn’t good. He didn’t want her here, but he was
curious about what had happened. “Then what the hell was that all about?”

She dropped her gaze. “I can’t talk about it yet. I want to
know if you’ll give me a second chance.”

“Sorry. It’s too little, too late.” He could be decent, but
he wasn’t going to play her games. Guilt swept through him for letting Rachael
even come in.

She stood. “You moved on that fast, huh?”

“It wasn’t fast.” He went to the door and opened it, wishing
he didn’t have to look so ridiculous with the crutches. Muttering, she grabbed
her purse and marched out.

As he started to shut the door, he caught sight of a tall
woman with gray hair in a loose bun. She had a long, willowing form but she
somehow reminded him of Savanna. So did the curls hanging loosely around her
face.

This was not good, not good at all. His guilt turned to
worry.

As he watched, she went inside Savanna’s door. So she must
have a key, but Jason decided to investigate in case she wasn’t Savanna’s
mother.

Her car still ran, and she came out just a minute later with
a diaper bag.

“Ms. Thompson?” he asked.

“Oh! Hello.” She clutched the diaper bag to her chest,
startled.

“Sorry about scaring you. I saw someone go in Savanna’s
place. I’m Jason Lancaster.” He propped his crutch under his arm and held out a
hand.

She shook his hand warmly while keeping her eyes on his
face. “Call me Margaret. I’ll feel like I’m teaching if you call me Ms. Thompson.”

“Margaret, it’s nice to meet you. Savanna says so many
wonderful things about you.”

“Really?”

“All the time.” Why would that surprise her?

Her shoulders softened, and he realized how stiffly she’d
been holding herself. He glanced in the car where Aubrey sat, waving at him. In
the quiet minute, they heard her exclaim, “Gase!”

He waved to the smiling cutie and asked Margaret, “No
daycare today?”

“No, I’m not teaching, and I wanted to take her.”

He made a silly face and got Aubrey to laugh.

Margaret didn’t. Jason glanced at her stern face and thought
maybe they should talk. “Would you like to come in for a minute?”

She wavered.

“Aubrey’s got some toys in there,” he added. Aubrey,
clapping her hands, seemed to sway the verdict. Margaret accepted and got
Aubrey out. Inside, he offered her a drink and pulled Aubrey’s crackers out.

“I’ve been thinking I need to meet you.” He gestured to a
chair, and they sat in the living room. “Savanna’s been a tremendous help to
me.” Margaret almost winced and tried to cover it by pretending the tea was
sour. He’d hit a sore spot, he could see. Maybe Margaret didn’t want Savanna
helping him.

“I’ve wanted to meet you for a while as well,” she started.
“And I have a lot to talk about, but first I want to know who just left your
apartment.”

He drew a blank at first. “Oh, Rachael. A well-wisher.”
Margaret raised an eyebrow at him, the same way Savanna did so often. “Not one
that I want around, and I told her that.” He couldn’t give her anything besides
the truth. “Margaret, I think the world of your daughter. She’s brave and
tough. And a dedicated mother.”

“I know,” she said with conviction.

“Then is something wrong?”

“I don’t think she knows all that yet, and I don’t want
anyone taking advantage of her while she figures it out.”

“I’ve worried that people, and especially you, would think
that.” Since he spoke softly, honestly, she didn’t take offense. After hearing
what a loving mother Margaret had been, and still was, to Savanna, he wanted to
be a part of it. “The last thing I want to do is make problems for her.”

But there was Cassie. He had made problems for them.

“I didn’t know what to think when she told me she moved in
here.” Margaret paused and sipped her iced tea. “This is really good.”

With a grin, he told her, “Savanna made it.” Aubrey, at the
table, had made a long cracker train and now busied herself with eating the
crackers, one by one. 

“I can’t tell my daughter what to do.”

His hope sank. “I want to prove myself again.” The cast
wouldn’t let him forget what he’d done.

“But, I’m keeping an open mind. Being around high schoolers
for so many years has taught me a few things.” Jason didn’t like the comparison
to a high school student, but he supposed he’d earned it.

“I’m only asking for a chance. I know what Eric did to her.”
When her eyebrows rose in surprise, he hoped she would put her trust in him
because Savanna had. “I’m not full of myself. I know what a great woman she is,
and I don’t know if I deserve her. I know with all my heart that I want to make
her happy. Even if I can’t have a relationship with her, I’ll help her get on
her feet here.”

Jason almost said he loved her, but he knew he couldn’t
claim that to Margaret when he hadn’t told Savanna yet.

Margaret nodded, and he thought her eyes looked misty. If
they were, she quickly covered it. “Savanna just has a lot to deal with
already.” She spoke in a soft voice while looking out the window. “She’s trying
to help Cassie, and now you, and then Eric is trying to upset her life again.”

Eric? He felt guilty over the first two, but what the heck
did she mean by Eric? She glanced back at him, probably because he hadn’t said
anything. She saw the sideways tilt of his head and asked, “Did she tell you
Eric filed for custody?”

He shook his head, wavering between anger at Eric and hurt
that Savanna hadn’t so much as mentioned it. “She’s told me other things about
Eric, and that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know. I’ve hired a lawyer for her. We’ll see if Eric even
comes over here to do anything about it.”

His concentration went to hell with that. His mind raced
back through conversations with Savanna, searching for some clue that she’d
tried to tell him.

Meanwhile, Margaret finished her tea and stood to leave.
“Well, I’m glad I met you today, Jason.”

He stood and offered his hand, truly feeling the same.
Aubrey gave him a big hug when they left. He waved out the window, and renewed
desire hit him to be involved in the rest of Savanna’s life, including her
family.

“There’s my baby!” Savanna knelt by Aubrey after work to see
her stack of blocks.

“Hi, Mama.”

Savanna started to pick up the toys Aubrey had spread over
the floor when Margaret said, “I talked to Jason today.”

“When you got the diaper bag?” Savanna still couldn’t
believe she’d been that scatterbrained. Margaret, seeing her face, added,
“Everyone does things like that now and then.”

“So you dropped by?”

“He came outside and invited me in.” Margaret smoothed her
hair back thoughtfully, and Savanna wasn’t sure if she should pry or wait for
her to talk.

She couldn’t leave it alone. “Well?”

“I think he’s genuine.”

Savanna wasn’t used to the whimsical look on her mom’s face.
“So you approve of him?”

Margaret’s smile crinkled her face in a graceful way. “He
cares about you.”

Hearing this from someone else felt nice. “You doubted that
before you met him?”

“I just thought the situation sounded suspect.” Even with
those words, that dreamy look still decorated her face, making her look pretty.

“I trust him,” Savanna said without any doubt in her heart.
“He saved my life once.”

After a moment’s thought about that, Margaret sighed. “The
way he talks about you is so sweet. I like him, Savanna, even though a part of
me says I should be worried about someone like him.”

Savanna froze.
Someone like him?
Margaret pulled her
gaze up from Aubrey and saw Savanna standing still.

“Savanna?”

“Why should you be worried about him?” Was there something
about Jason that her mother saw, something she couldn’t see? Her mom was right;
she couldn’t trust her own judgment. Not after Eric.

“Oh, sit down, Savanna. I meant he might not be so
emotionally stable because Mike died and because he got in that accident. That’s
what I thought before I met him. Now I don’t think that’s the case.”

“I don’t, either.”

“I’ve wanted to meet him for a while,” Margaret said. “I
think today started out awkwardly because I saw a woman leaving his place.”

Savanna leaned forward like she didn’t understand what her
mother meant. “What woman?”

“I think he said her name was Rachael. Just a friend
checking on him, but my mind jumped to all the wrong conclusions.”

Savanna didn’t reply to that while hiding her shock and
suspicion.

Margaret still saw something in her face, something that
showed she had her doubts. “Do you trust your heart?”

“That’s the problem,” Savanna said. “I don’t anymore.”