License to Love (71 page)

“Have you talked to Cassie, by the way?”

His question sure changed her mood. Until now, she’d refused
to think about how Cassie wouldn’t come see him.

“I called and told her what happened. She asked if you were
all right.” Savanna ached to tell him she thought there was hope that Cassie
was coming around, but what if she was wrong? Quite a few times, she had
wondered if it had been the wrong decision to move into Jason’s townhouses.
That was before his accident. It was clear Jason needed her. Of course, Cassie
did too, but she had also needed space.

“I’m glad you’re next door, but I got to thinking about what
it meant between you and Cassie.”

That was like he read her mind. She simply said, “I talked
to her before I moved in.”

“I hope I didn’t push you into it. What if it hurts your
friendship?” Jason set his plate on the nightstand and rolled to face her.

“I decided to move in, remember?”

“Because I offered. And then I went and got myself hurt, so
now you’re over here taking care of me.”

“Don’t you want me to?” she asked, knowing she couldn’t turn
her back on someone. She cared about other people too much for that, and she
really cared about Jason.

“Of course I do. I guess I’m just wondering how Cassie feels
about it.” He reached to her hand and trailed his fingers over hers. “I’m
treading lightly so I won’t insult your intelligence. I just need to know
you’ve thought about this. I don’t want to tell you what to do, either.”

She took a deep breath to cover the swell of emotions in her
chest. It meant so much to feel respected. “I know I made a choice by moving in
and by helping you now. I want to be here with you, Jason. I want Cassie to get
over her anger, too, but nothing I do changes anything. Maybe we’ll have to
wait her out.”

“Man . . . it just seems impossible. You don’t think this
will make her turn her back forever?”

“How can she?” Savanna hated how she felt pulled both ways.
“She has no reason to. I’m doing everything I can to help her deal with losing
Mike, but there’s only so much I can do. Then I have to think about myself,
Aubrey, other people like you.” Maybe this relationship would force Cassie to
face her feelings and realize she was hurting people.

They couldn’t continue the conversation without talking
about what was happening between them, so Savanna became quiet. He reached for
her plate and stacked it on top of his.

“Come here.” He tugged her hand, and she lay down on his
chest. She felt herself melt like butter into him, almost sighing because it
felt so nice to have his arm around her. She liked his warm skin under her
cheek, his chest hair that felt soft, and his heart beating in her ear. Lying
still, she looked at her hand on his stomach as it rose and fell with his
breath.

It’d been a very long time since anyone held her close and
tender like this. He rubbed small circles on her lower back with his fingers,
massaging and caressing at the same time. Her hips longed to respond and move
in time to his rhythmic rubbing. Her skin, where it touched his, became hypersensitive.
She felt so turned on she wanted to wiggle closer against him, but she thought
of his injuries and tried to ignore her wants, for now. He hadn’t made any
moves in that direction either, so she guessed he wasn’t ready.

After several quiet minutes, she said, “You sure don’t have
much stuff in here.” Besides the bed, he had a nightstand, a dresser, a laundry
basket, and some boxes against one wall. There weren’t any pictures hanging in
this room, either.

“Yeah, makes it easier to move. When I moved in, I wasn’t
sure if I’d stay here a while or buy something else.”

“I’m not changing your plans, am I?”

“Don’t be silly.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re always worried about making other people
uncomfortable. I don’t care if I change my plans, or if you change my plans,
since I do it all the time.” His hand threaded through her hair while he
talked, sending ticklish shivers down her back.  

“Women are trained to do that, you know,” she said in
defense of herself.

“You don’t have to around me.”

She smiled against his chest and closed her eyes. Getting up
early that morning had made her sleepy, and now his breathing and body heat
lulled her into a fantasy about him as she drifted off.

Jason smiled when he heard her breathing slow down. He was
tired, too, but didn’t want to sleep through this. Holding her felt like a
dream. True, feeling her against him made him want a whole lot more right now,
but he wasn’t pushing things. This was too special too push and ruin. He lay
there broken, hurting, and missing his best friend, but holding Savanna still
felt better than anything he’d ever known.

Life had hardly felt worth living after Mike died, and he
knew that was just part of the grieving process, but Savanna was like
unexpected sunshine in a storm. There was no predicting what would happen with
his career, or with Cassie, or even with Savanna if he wanted to be truthful,
but he tried to put it all out of his mind for the moment. Besides, some fun
thoughts about Savanna were flooding in...

Nine

Savanna pulled up to McAllister’s after work with Aubrey in
the backseat and spotted Cassie’s car already parked along the curb. They got
out at the same time. Today marked one month since Mike’s death, and Savanna
had thought about it all day, knowing she’d be having dinner with Cassie.

Inside, conversations mixed with laughter and forks
clinking. A roar went up from the bar area at the other end; a game was on the
big screen. Their waiter took them to the family section where they could,
thankfully, hear each other.

The anniversary must have been on Cassie’s mind, too,
because she didn’t say much. They couldn’t talk about Mike, not even the happy
memories, without making Cassie cry. They couldn’t talk about Jason without
creating a big chasm between them. Even Aubrey was a touchy subject since it
reminded Cassie of losing that possibility with Mike.

Frustrated, Savanna opted for being real and sharing with
her friend. “Eric filed for custody.” A wave of relief hit her because she’d
gotten it out, but she had trouble looking up to see Cassie’s reaction. Aubrey
continued to happily slide her ice cube around the high chair tray. It melted
down to half its size, so Savanna pulled another out of her glass and set it on
the tray too.

Cassie looked confused and asked, “Why now?”

“I don’t know.” Savanna swallowed hard. “I can’t let him
take her away.” The shaking in her voice scared her, but it felt so good to
share. They both glanced at the laughing little girl.

“Cubes, mama! Go, go, go!” She scrunched her face down
close, to eye level and bumped the cube gently. Still, it bounced onto the
table. Cassie used her spoon to pull another cube out for her and let Aubrey
grab it in her pudgy fist.

Savanna watched them smile at each other and had to bite her
lip so she wouldn’t tear up. She’d been fighting that a lot lately, and she
didn’t want Cassie to see.

Cassie looked at her with crystal clear eyes. “We won’t let Eric
take her away, Savanna. He can’t just change his mind all of a sudden and do
that. So what if he filed? That doesn’t change anything. Maybe he can see his
daughter, but there’s no way he can show up after a year of ignoring her and
try to take custody away from you.”

Cassie’s focus calmed her even while it relieved her to see
Cassie thinking about something else. Now she felt even better about sharing
her problem.

“That’s what Mom said, that anyone can go file paperwork.
It’s just . . . he has a lot of money. He gets his way.”

“Not this time,” Cassie spoke firmly. “If I can do anything,
and I mean anything, let me know okay? I’ll testify, whatever.”

After a nod, she told Cassie about the mediation, but even
that made her stomach twist. The waitress brought their plates, and they paused
the conversation. The food looked good, but they both picked at first. It took
a few bites for Savanna to actually feel hungry.

Then Cassie surprised her by saying, “Don’t go back there.
Don’t go back to him.”

“What? Why on earth would I?” It didn’t make sense for the
first minute Savanna thought about it, until she realized maybe Eric was doing
this to get her back. No, that didn’t make a lick of sense. He had been
completely disgusted with her. The romantic man that won her over had turned
into a cold, mean, twisted man who hated her.

Cassie noticed her confusion. “Well, I can’t fathom what
he’s thinking. That man sounds immature, selfish, and stupid, but it’s a
possibility, right?”

“No, he’s not doing this to get me back.”

“Then why? He wasn’t interested in a daughter, was he? Or
his marriage?”

Shaking her head and sighing, Savanna still couldn’t
understand it. “No, he didn’t want me. He didn’t want her. I can’t imagine why
he’d do this.”

The one other reason would be to hurt her. Could even Eric be
that cold? It had been his disregard that had hurt the most. He had just
stopped caring.

Cassie was taking a drink and made a noise through her full
mouth. “Guilt! He feels guilty, like a bad citizen or something, so he’s trying
to do the right thing. I bet it’ll blow over once he realizes you’re ready to
fight him.”

That sounded much better than what she was thinking. “That
could be it.” She prayed it was that simple.

Cassie must have seen her doubt and added, “What do you bet
someone else pushed him into it? Maybe his family realized what a jerk he is.”

Whether or not that made any sense, it put a tight,
unsettled feeling into Savanna’s stomach. “Georgia, his mother, has been
calling my mom, looking for me.”

Cassie’s eyes widened. They both chewed for a few minutes,
thinking.

“Thanks,” Cassie said.

“Huh?”

“For sharing that with me.”

And suddenly the evening wasn’t about avoiding touchy topics
or agonizing over Eric. It was like old times when they talked about
everything.

“We’re home.” She hopped out of the car to get Aubrey, but
her little girl was sound asleep. She carried Aubrey to bed, tucked her in, and
thought about knocking on Jason’s door.

Before she’d made it to the action stage of her plan, he
knocked on hers. Her stomach twirled in a good and bad way. Somehow he looked
good dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, maybe because his clothing didn’t hide
his nice build.

“Hey,” he said, using his crutch to come inside.

“You shaved.” She reached to his face to feel his clean-shaven
skin. While she ran her hands down his cheeks, his gaze searched her face,
looked into her eyes.

She guessed he had spent the evening thinking about
something.

“Tell me about you, Savanna. What do you do when you’re not
taking care of me, or Aubrey, or Cassie?”

She stepped back and thought a minute. “I draw pictures. Would
you like to see?”

One corner of his mouth lifted. “Sure.”

She threw a smile at him and went upstairs to get her books.
When she returned, she joined him on the sofa and told him the inspiring
stories about her and Cassie as kids that went with the different stories she’d
drawn. He looked up from the pages to smile at her, but it faded.

“That’s so like Cassie,” he said with sudden pain in his
voice. The insanity of the situation hit her, making her mad. Why couldn’t
Cassie come around? Cassie and Jason both missed Mike, so why did they each have
to hurt more by losing their friendship? The heavy feeling still showed on
Jason’s face, so she pulled his head down to her shoulder and held him.

“It’s been a month,” he said quietly.

“I know. I thought about it, too, but Cassie didn’t mention
it at dinner. I guess I don’t blame her.”

Savanna returned to work the next day and spent the time
thinking about him. That evening, she poked her head in Jason’s door to check
on him and found him sleeping on his sofa. She knew he would gladly wake up to
see her, but he still needed rest to get healthy again. Instead of leaving, she
went in and took soft steps to the couch. Sometimes she watched Aubrey sleep,
and Jason looked just as sweet now with his slack face, thick eyelashes, and
his lips swollen.

She leaned down, watching his closed eyes, and touched her
lips to his. After she kissed him, she scooted back toward the door to return
to her apartment.

The next morning, he told her Trevor and Mindy planned to stop
in to see him while she was at work. It was Wednesday, but she already dreamed
about the weekend and two full days to spend with him and Aubrey.

The day was already fading when she got Aubrey and headed
home. She’d put dinner together the night before and now pulled it from the
refrigerator to heat it up. While it warmed, she sat on the floor in Aubrey’s
room to play with her.

With dinner heated up and ready, she let Aubrey lead the way
out the door and to Jason’s. The air carried a new bite, announcing the start
of autumn. 

Aubrey knocked with her tiny fist before Savanna reached
over her and opened the door, “Hello?”

“Come in, I’m on my way,” he called out. Savanna heard him
making his way to the door from upstairs. Aubrey was timid but took a few steps
inside. She hadn’t been over here, and she hadn’t seen Jason since the
accident.

Jason saw Aubrey and gave her a big grin. “Hey there.”
Aubrey hid behind Savanna. “Well, Savanna, how was your day?”

“Good. I played with acrylic paints with kids and made a big
mess. And yours?”

“Trevor and Mindy came, and a couple guys from the
department stopped by so I wouldn’t get too bored.” He bent over, trying to see
Aubrey again. “So what’s in that pan that smells so good?”