Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) (30 page)

"We just need to keep you above water for a few more seconds, okay, Addie-Day?” I tried to swim toward Kismet but I couldn’t find the boat. I was so turned around I could barely keep track of the capsized sailboat. "RD!" I screamed. "The life ring!"

Addie was so heavy. My whole body screamed with fatigue. Addie looked at me for a moment, eyes wide with fear. She tried to climb over me toward the air, dunking me down into the water. I couldn't keep us both on the surface. No matter how hard I kicked, it wasn't enough.

With all of my strength, I lifted Addie as high as I could. I felt the tangle of the boat trying to rip her from my arms, so I kicked even harder. My lungs grew tight as every ounce of oxygen squeezed out of them like a dry sponge.

I opened my eyes and saw that everything had changed colors. An emerald-green beam cut through the water and Addie looked like an outline in black near the surface. Bubbles surrounded us and rose like tiny balloons of light.

I couldn't do this. I was going to have to breathe.

Addie felt so heavy, but she was only a black shadow in my hands. We were turning into silhouettes. We were becoming stained glass.

I felt warm and sleepy and the green water didn't feel so bad to me anymore. And it made sense when I felt Addie being pulled away from me, because she was only a shadow. She was so light in the water, I didn't even mind letting her go.

It's impossible to hold onto shadows.

She needed to get out of the emerald-green water and back into the sun. Lights filled the water. I could see flickering colors of red and blue. The light made the water so warm. I tried to kick to the surface and follow, but it was so far away. How had it gotten so far away? That’s when I saw my Father. Suddenly he was above me his hand reaching through the rays of warm light.

I was right. He’d never left the water. I understood why he’d stayed.

I stretched toward him with my grey fingertips, trying to reach that glittering silver surface. I kicked, but my legs wouldn't move. My chest opened up and I breathed. I breathed underwater.

Water filled my lungs, but it felt just like air. It didn't hurt. I was a mermaid. I could swim and breathe beneath the sea. I moved my hands through the water, unfurling my fingertips in the shiny, green light. I smiled.

So this is it. This is drowning, I thought. This isn't dying. It's different. It's transformation. A girl dives into the black water and discovers she's really a mermaid, diving down deeper to escape to this world beneath the surface. And this is what happened to Dad. The water changed him, too. Had he wanted to become something else and swim away like I did?

Where had Dad gone? He’d been there a moment ago.

I felt so sleepy and the water felt so warm.
But if I became a mermaid, I'd be all alone
. I didn't want to be alone underwater, even if I did get to swim with Dad again. I didn't want to fall asleep. I didn't want to die. I belonged with my family, with Addie, Mom and Aunt Lucy.

The water exploded above me. I felt arms catch me like a fish in a net. I knew I was moving closer to the sky and I wondered if I would still be a mermaid or if I would die like a fish out of water up there. I disappeared.

You can be without air, without oxygen in your lungs for two minutes before the cells in your brain start to die. Your body soaks up every ounce of oxygen it can and when it has nothing left, it robs oxygen from other cells, shutting them down, killing them one by one.

I had only stopped breathing for about one minute. Addie’s breathing had stopped for more than two.

I woke up with the taste of saltwater and vomit in my mouth.

"You're all right." A man with a salt and pepper beard knelt beside me. He spoke softly as if he didn't want to startle me. I could feel the itch of a wool blanket against my arms. I wiggled my fingers and toes and looked around. "You're gonna be just fine." The man wore a yellow rain slicker and had dark, leathery skin.

I struggled to sit up and recognized the red and white Coast Guard symbol painted on the side of the white boat. "Addie," I gasped. "My sister." My voice was raspy and sounded shredded, as though layers of vocal chords had been stripped away.

"You gave us quite a scare," the man said, smiling at me.

I saw him glance over his shoulder as I sat up. At the front of the deck, a group of people huddled around something. It reminded me of standing on Jekyll Beach, the way everyone had crowded around when they'd seen my sister in the water. "Where's my sister?" I struggled to stand. "What are they looking at?"

"Still. Be still. You need to rest." He held my shoulder and gently tried to get me to lie down again.

"No!" I struggled and writhed away from him. Pushing the blanket off, I staggered to my feet.

"Hey." He reached for me.

"No!" I turned around and belted him in the stomach. I don't think it was that hard, but I surprised him just as the boat dipped into a big gully. He lost his footing and fell onto a metal bench as I ran down the deck.

Through the crowd, I saw Addie on a stretcher with an oxygen mask over her face. A man held her hand in the air as if he was searching for a pulse and her skin had a blue hue to it. She looked dead. All of the color had drained away, leaving her lime-green and lemon-yellow jacket as a screaming reminder of how bright she had been minutes before.

"Addie! No! No, Addie!" I screamed, pushing through the people. "Let me see my sister!"

A short, barrel-chested officer with spiky, black hair grabbed me. He lifted me off the ground effortlessly, even though I was much taller. "Easy there, sister."

"What's wrong?" I gasped, crying and screaming. "What's wrong with my her?" I sobbed. "Addie! No. Not Addie."

He carried me away while I tried to kick myself free from his iron grip. He spoke in a strong, even tone. "We need to get her warm. And we need you to rest."

"But is she okay? She doesn't look okay!"

"Your sister is a very lucky girl. We’re taking very good care of her. If it weren’t for you, she wouldn't be here."

If it weren’t for me, she never would have been out there.

The officer set me on a bench and wrapped another blanket around my shoulders. It reminded me of the first day RD had offered me a towel during the rainstorm. He'd told me to stay warm. He'd made it so easy to jump aboard. Where was RD? He'd been on the water, unless I'd imagined him. The Coast Guard boat powered across the Sound, heading straight for the mainland. Kismet could never keep up with this ship.

"My friends? There were other boats." I didn't see RD or Nick and Priya. I scanned the water as we sailed. I didn't see any lights, just the approaching flicker of the port. "Where is everybody?"

"Everybody’s fine. They all went back to the marina and we're going to the hospital. Now, let me take care of your sister. You were a very brave girl..." He searched for my name.

"Cassandra," I whispered.

"Cassandra." He smiled. “If it weren't for you and your friend, your sister would be in a heap of trouble."

"My friend?"

"The guy who pulled you both out of the water. We took a quick report from him, but he said to tell you he was sorry. He couldn't stay. He said you'd understand. I thought you knew him."

I bit my lip and nodded. I didn't even try to fight my tears. I let them fall down my cheeks, mixing with the dried saltwater on my skin. Had it really been RD? He'd called to me from the sailboat. I was sure he'd gone out in Kismet to rescue me. Had he really saved us both?

The crew prepared for docking dropping fenders and holding heavy lines for tying up. A pair of ambulances waited for us on the dock lights flashing. I figured there one was for Addie and one for me.

"Do you remember his name?" I asked. “The guy who saved us.”

"Yeah. Dawson, I think. Ronald Dawson?" The officer stood up and waved at a paramedic making his way across the deck with a wheelchair. "I'll have to double-check, but I'm pretty sure that was it."

Ronald. Ronald Dawson. In all the time I'd been with RD, I'd never even asked him what RD stood for. I thought he'd come into this world named RD, that someone like him didn't have an ordinary name like everyone else. I was wrong.

"So, you know him?" The officer asked, helping me into the chair. They wouldn't even let me walk on my own.

"No," I said. "I don’t know him at all.”

Aunt Lucy stood with arms crossed just inside the doors to the emergency room. Flashing red and blue lights danced across her face as they unloaded me. She looked pale and drawn. I felt sick with guilt knowing it was my fault we were at the hospital. Everything tonight stemmed from my bad decisions and lies.

A paramedic wheeled me inside. I didn't need the wheelchair, but I wasn’t given a choice. As the doors whooshed open, Aunt Lucy ran toward me throwing her arms around my shoulders. She was crying. "Cassie. Oh, thank God." She kissed the top of my head and hugged me so tight she reminded me of Mom. She was the only other person who ever hugged me like that. "You're safe. Thank God, you're safe."

She felt so safe, so familiar. Feeling her tears on my neck I started crying again, too. I didn't think I had any tears left, but I felt this surge of emotion I couldn’t control. Happiness mixed with sorrow. I’d caused so much trouble.

"They took Addie," I hiccupped, holding onto Aunt Lucy’s neck. “She was so pale. It was horrible. She looked blue.”

"Excuse me, Cassandra." I felt a warm hand on my arm and looked up to see a tall nurse standing beside me. She had a sweet smile and wore a smock covered in colored elephants. “We need to get you checked in now.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

"Of course." Aunt Lucy stood up and wiped her eyes. "Yes, of course. Let’s go." Aunt Lucy didn't let go of my hand, and she walked right beside me as the nurse wheeled me down the hall.

"Is Addie here?" I asked, Aunt Lucy.

"Yes." She squeezed my hand. "They brought her in a few minutes before you. She's all right, sweetheart. The doctors just want to give her a little more attention."

"Is Mom here too?"

"Yes. But, she’s sleeping. We’ll see her in the morning."

The nurse wheeled me into an exam room. I sat on a beige table with a thin privacy curtain beside it. The nurse took my temperature and blood pressure scribbling notes on a clipboard. She had a kind face and the elephants on her smock reminded me of Addie’s stuffed animal collection. "The doctor will be here in a few minutes." She left us alone.

I felt like someone had opened me up and drained every drop of energy from my body. On my bare legs, blue green bruises were beginning to show. My eyes stung in the bright light of the hospital. Everything hurt and I felt cold in my core as if I’d carried the icy water of the Sound back with me. My heart ached but, for the first time all summer, I wasn't aching for RD. My heart ached for my family.

"I want to see Mom," I told Aunt Lucy. "And Addie. I want to see her, too."

"Shh." Aunt Lucy tried to soothe me. "The doctors think it's best if you don't see your sister right away. She's all right, but she can't have a lot of visitors right now, honey."

"Why? What have they done to her?"

"Let’s just talk to the doctor and get you home. We’ll see your Mom in the morning."

The door opened with a soft knock. It was Mariah. She smothered me with an enormous bear hug and kept pulling back to look at me as if she was afraid it wasn't really me. "Cassandra Marie Safire," she said. "You little shit. I’m so glad you’re all right. If you ever steal my car again… I swear to God!"

Aunt Lucy looked at me eyes wide. "You stole a car?" Aunt Lucy clearly did not know about all of my crimes.

"Whoops…" Mariah inhaled.

"You don’t have to cover for me," I said. I was so tired of lying. "I stole Mariah's car when I snuck out. You can ground me."

Aunt Lucy shook her head and brushed a hair off my forehead. “Well, I think that there has been enough grounding for now.”

“But I deserve it,” I said crying again. “It’s all my fault. Everything. Everything that happened tonight. You don’t know…”

Aunt Lucy pulled me close wrapping me in a hug. She said nothing as she stroked my hair until my tears stopped.

"Please let me see them,” I sniffed, wiping my nose. “I need to see them both.”

Aunt Lucy spoke softly. “I’m so sorry, honey. Doctor’s orders, your mom needs rest and so does Addie.” Aunt Lucy took a breath before continuing. “Your sister is in Intensive Care."

"Intensive Care!" I tried to slide off the exam table, but Aunt Lucy grabbed my arm. “No! They have to let me see her.”

"Cassie, they are both all right. You have to trust me.”

"Trust you." I wanted to believe her, but looking between Aunt Lucy and Mariah, it occurred to me that they hadn't told me the truth once the whole summer. “You knew about Mom, Mariah, and you never said anything. And all summer we’ve all been pretending Mom’s getting better and she's not." I sat down defiantly, my heartbeat racing. “How do I know you aren’t just protecting me, again?”

Mariah exhaled slowly and leaned against the counter. “She’s right,” she said softly.

Aunt Lucy nodded. She knelt down so her face was close to mine and she held both my hands as she spoke. "Cassandra, I’m so sorry that I haven’t been able to talk with you about what’s happening the way you need. This isn’t easy for any of us and I can do better. But, I promise you this. I’m telling you the truth now.”

I stared into her wide blue eyes. They were the same color as Mom’s, the same color as mine. She was my family. How had I failed to really see her before now?

"Okay," I said, feeling breathless with relief.

"You believe me?" Aunt Lucy asked.

"Yes," I said, meaning every word. "Yes, I do."

Aunt Lucy squeezed my hand and leaned her forehead against mine.

The doctor wrote me a prescription for sedatives. I took two and was instructed to do nothing but sleep and rest. The nurse gave Aunt Lucy a plastic bag with my clothes. Mariah had brought me pajamas to wear home. Going through my water logged things I found Mariah’s keys in the back pocket of my jeans. My stomach dropped.