Life After (8 page)

Jenny nudges my arm once we arrive home waking me up from my unintentional nap. The lack of sleep at night is obviously catching up with me. Jenny’s phone rings again, I swear she has that thing glued to her ear...well technically it’s attached to her ear by her hands free thingy, but you know what I mean. Leaving her outside pacing wildly as if the person could see her I go in the house. Breathing deeply I expect the yummy apple cinnamon scent I’ve grown fond of  only this time it’s mixed with—I sniff the air…burnt popcorn?

Walking
Following the stench I walk into the living room to see Andrew and Avery spread out on the couch and recliner, burnt popcorn in bowls and drinks on the coffee table. Judging by the mess that greets me it looks like they haven’t moved from their spots all day. Their eyes are glued to the TV and they have a somewhat glazed over look to them.

“Hi,” Avery says.

I huff as I clear wrappers and cans so I can sit on the couch. Glancing at the TV, I taste bile in my throat at the sight of a shark being sliced open.

“
Ewww gross! Are you guys seriously enjoying this?” Watching a shark attack a whale is seriously gross...my stomach starts turning. I turn away, focusing on a picture hanging in front of me hoping lunch will stay put. “What is this anyway?” I ask feeling my stomach getting queasier.

“Shark Week,” Avery responds eyes glued to the show. “If you’re going to watch sit down and be quiet. No talking during Shark Week.”

This Shark Week is apparently sacred business around here. A commercial comes on and I’m saved from watching sharks eat lunch. Avery jumps up almost knocking me over and throws more popcorn in the microwave, grabbing three root beers. Walking around to the front of the couch he hands one of them to Andrew and looks at me for confirmation of whether or not I’m going to join them. Nodding, I sit down delicately perching myself on the edge of the couch. Scooting back I start sinking into the cushions, it almost makes me groan aloud in pleasure, it has got to be one of the best couches I’ve ever sat on, seriously like a cloud. Avery grabs my crutches from where I left them on the floor by the couch and puts them out of sight. He catches me looking at him and shrugs, “What? I don’t want anyone to trip over them.”

Raising my eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you aren’t trying to trap me here?”

Holding his hand to his heart he dramatically falls to the couch, but catches himself, lays his head in my lap and meets my eyes. I can’t help the butterflies in my stomach and the odd angle and my face feels hot as I try to resist the urge to run my fingers through his hair. 

I’m sitting here having this inner battle with my hormones and the whole time he’s been talking and is waiting for me to answer something, but I missed the question.

“You wound me, Lady. You wound me!”

I can’t help but laugh, but it feels so foreign to me that it sounds rusty. I’ve missed laughing. “I’m sorry what exactly was question again?”

“Well I was about to ask—”

Andrew interrupts, “Both of you quiet if you want to stay here. Shark Week’s back and what is the rule for Shark Week?

In unison we respond, “No talking during Shark Week.”

“Now quiet both of you.”

Andrew takes a sip of his drink and looks over at me as if not two seconds ago he wasn’t scolding me for talking, “Hadley, get comfy and enjoy the awesomeness that is Shark Week.” I open my mouth and he moves his finger across his throat in a off with the head motion. “No talking.”

Leaning forward I grab the soda and take a healthy sip, bubbles tickling my nose. Setting it down I grab a throw pillow putting it behind my head and start watching the guys on the show getting into a shark tank and swimming with sharks. My mind is boggled. Why would you want to do that? Shaking my head I sink deeper in the couch and watching intently.

Jenny finally comes in and stops when she sees what we’re watching. She groans throwing her hands in the air. “Damn it, its Shark Week isn’t it?”

“SHHHH!!!!” We all yell at her.

“I’m assuming this means take out tonight. Because I’m not cooking if you’re not even going to join me at the table.” She turns and zero’s in on me lying on the couch. “Not you too, Hadley!” She groans putting her hand through her hair.

I can’t even look her in the eye, so I offer her some popcorn. She grabs my bowl and walks out of the room, leaving us absorbed in a shark eating a seal. Avery looks over at me rolling his eyes and hands me his popcorn.

A warm feeling flows in my stomach when he looks at me. Bad Hadley, I tell myself. You’re too messed up to even think about guys right now. But I can’t stop myself from imagining it. I can’t stop from wishing we had met in a different situation like me visiting Jenny or something not with death, he would have loved the old me. I was peppy, happy and an all around fun girl. These days I’m just a shell of a person who can’t sleep, has a messed up body and quite frankly relies on pain and anxiety pills a bit too much.

I fall asleep watching shark’s migration habits, so very exciting. Almost as exciting as watching paint dry. A hand on my shoulder shakes me awake. Batting the hand away I mumble faintly for the person to go away. The shaking continues.

“Go away, Mom.” Rolling over towards the back of the couch I pull the blanket over my head trying to curl into the warmth of it. Opening my eyes I stare in the darkness, it’s stuffy under the blanket almost suffocating but I don’t care. My stomach clenches: my mom is gone. I can’t believe I thought she was there, how long am I going to think they’ll come back?

“Um, Hadley?” His voice is very close to my ear. I bet I could reach out and touch him if I was so inclined to.

Pulling the blanket off I see that Avery is kneeling next to me. His hair is tousled to perfection and his lip ring glints in the light.

“Jenny asked me to get you up and tell you that you’re going to meet your physical therapist in a few hours. Something about being lucky you got an appointment so soon and then she’s taking you shopping.”

“What time is it?”

“Late o’clock. Now get your ass up.”

Flipping him the middle finger I pull the covers back over my head once he leaves the room. I guess I stayed on the couch all night. The only good news from it was I managed to sleep without pills or nightmares. I may have to buy a DVD on shark migration habits. I mean you could totally market that to insomniacs.

Reaching around I try unsuccessfully to find my phone but have no luck locating it. Groaning I put my hand in between the couch cushions and all I find is change. Giving up I roll back over and close my eyes letting the silence lull me back to sleep. The blanket is suddenly yanked off me and I gasp, sitting as Avery
retreats with the blanket thrown over his shoulder.

“Hey! You fight dirty!” Rolling over I sit up and stretch. The house is pretty quiet but there are sounds are coming from the kitchen. Not bothering to call for help I stumble over to my crutches. Glaring at them I desperately want to throw them at the wall. The fact that I’m  now forced to use them until I get the go ahead from the doctor and psychical therapist makes me so angry, they hurt  my arms when I walk, it’s awkward and I’m unable to use the infamous I-can’t-walk excuse.

Making my way into the kitchen I grab a banana and a bottled water and head back to my room slamming the door. I look at all the skinny jeans I have that I can’t wear yet because of the way my knee is bulkily wrapped. I grab a pair of comfy track pants and one of my favorite shirts, a shirt that has a deer logo on it for a hunting company. Placing the clothes on my bed I stop at the mirror and stare at my reflection. My shoulder length brown hair is curly and wild and in dire need of a wash. I have been avoiding mirrors at all costs.

Grimacing in my reflection I take it all in. My green eyes have dark circles under them. The scar on my cheek is a new pink color. I make an ugly face at myself. I really need to put something over the mirror so I’m no longer forced to look at myself.

Moving to my nightstand drawer I pull it open and take out my pill bottle. Shaking it I think about the yellow pills. If I took them would they take me to my family and out of this world? My mouth waters at the thought. Shaking my head to get the cloudiness gone I give the bottle one last shake and shove them back in the drawer, hurriedly covering them up with  random things.

***

Lost in my own thoughts, I head to the bathroom. I fail to see Avery bump right into him sending my crutches down as I fall forward into his warm, very naked chest. Time seems to slow down, until I’m brought back to present with my face plastered to his bare chest. A very muscular chest I might add. I can’t help but breathe in the scent of his soap, a wonderful warm guy aroma. I sniff him again and open my eyes to tattoos.

I didn’t realize he had several of them on his chest until I was up close and personal with them. One is a cross and the other is writing in some other language. Grabbing one of his arms and trying to get my balance I notice how muscular they are. I’m acting like I’ve never been next to a guy like this before, because I haven’t. Now I can see why all the girls back home would choose to spend time with their boyfriends and ditch me. I move my head closer so I can get a better sniff. Yes, I’m standing here sniffing him while he is helping me keep my balance. I have no pride. Despite all that I hear his alarmed voice.

“Whoa, Hadley! You okay?” He grabs the towel hanging extremely low on his hips so it doesn’t fall.
Please fall towel
, I beg silently. It doesn’t much to my dismay. Still holding tightly to the towel he maneuvers me so he can grab the fallen crutches and hand them too me.

“Y—Yes,” I eventually mutter.

“Okay, then.” He coughs awkwardly and tries to move past me sliding with his back against the wall only his foot gets tangled in my crutches.

“Well this is awkward.” I laugh as I finally make my way past him towards the shower. Just as I’m about the shut the door Avery’s voice stops me.

“Oh and Hadley?” Just a little suggestion….you better get ready fast. Jenny doesn’t like waiting all day.” About to shut the door I hear Avery saying my name again.

“Hadley?”

“Yeah?” Peeking out of the bathroom cracking the door slightly open slightly disgruntled.

“Thanks for proving those Axe commercials right. I’ve never had someone feel me up, sniff me or watch my towel as much as you did. I can only think it’s because I’m totally awesome and you want all this sexiness!” He does some sort of air pump. “Seriously, though, it’s not every day I’m groped in the hall by a beautiful girl.”

Rolling my eyes at him I slam the door shut on his face and stick my tongue out at the door, not that he can see it. “Oh very mature Hadley. Very mature,” I mutter to myself.  I did NOT grope him. I will plead the fifth on sniffing him. Wait—did he just call me beautiful? I look in the mirror and grimace. Nope, He couldn’t possibly have been talking about me. Why would someone like him be attracted to someone like me? I’m messed up, like a puzzle that’s broken into tiny pieces. He is perfect and could have anyone I will never be a blip on his radar.  I used to love showers until I hurt my leg. Now it’s a major pain in the ass worrying if I’m going to slip and fall. Letting the water run through my hair, I push my worries of everything to the back of my mind. Inhaling my coconut and pineapple soap I feel transported to a tropical island. The steams swirls around me turning my skin pink as I scrub myself down. I turn the water off and carefully figure out how I’m going to step out without falling. I shiver as the cold air hits my skin. Grabbing onto the shower curtain I manage to get out without pulling the shower curtain down. Drying off I put my robe on knotting the belt tightly and peek out the door. I look both ways to make sure no one is in the hallway. Seeing that the coast is clear I head to my room to get dressed. My knee doesn’t want to bend properly and with the bandage on its making it twice as hard to get any clothes on my body. Brushing out my dark tangled hair I decide to let it air dry rather than taking the time to blow dry it. I huff at my reflection while brushing my teeth. Well this is as good as it’s going to get, Hadley. When I finally get to the kitchen I see Jenny and Avery talking quietly at the table. Avery’s leaning nonchalantly against the counter and looks like he’s trying to hold back his laughter. They both look up when they hear me come in and Avery shoots me a lopsided grin.

Okay that was weird. Raising my eyes at him I head to the fridge, letting the cool refrigerated air cool my warm cheeks. I’ve only been here a few months but I know it’s never a good thing when Avery grins like that.

Avery grabs his hat off the table, “Fancy that, it looks like I get to drive Miss Hadley around today.” He says in a perfect imitation of that guy from Driving Miss Daisy. Swinging the keys around his fingers he tells me that Jenny was called into work and has to leave in a few minutes.

I don’t want Avery taking me, why would I want him to see me this way, half a person?  Moving over to the pantry I stare at it gathering my thoughts before shutting the door and reopening it. Looking at the many offerings I grab a bag of chips and a bottle of water. Opening it I take a big sip only to spill some of the water on my shirt and drop the cap. I debate with myself if I really need the cap or not when Avery picks it and gently hands it to me, when his hand touches mine I feel a zing and pull my hand back quickly.

“Sorry, I must be staticky.”

My face is hot.

Oh my gosh I feel like I’m back in middle school with all this blushing. Of course he would be staticky, I’ve been reading way too many romance books if I think people actually zing when they touch. It feels wrong that I find myself attracted to him. Wrong, in the sense I should be in mourning and not worrying about a potential romance. Glancing at the clock I see it’s well past time to leave. Gathering up my trash I shove it in the can next to the fridge...

“So, what’s the plan, Driver?”

“Well, Miss Hadley,” Taking the beanie off his head. “First I thought I would drive us too that lovely physical therapy building. I’m not sure if you’ve had a chance to see it yet. No? I shake my head no at him in confirmation. “Well it’s a white building with doctors in it. So much fun, right?” He claps his hands together very peppy and totally not like a man.

“But wait for it…if you’re a really good girl at the doctors I happen to know where the movie theatre is and would love it if you would accompany a simple chauffer? I’ll even let you pick the movie and if you’re a really good girl I might let you get popcorn.”

A very loud and somewhat rusty laugh comes from deep in my chest. I laugh for the first time in a month.

Jenny comes rushing through carrying her bag haphazardly juggling everything. Looking over at me she stops what she is doing and just stands there and stares. “What did you do to her?” She looks at Avery questioningly.

Throwing his hands in the air, “Nothing! She started laughing and hasn’t stopped since. Now I have to get her ass to her appointment so if I could find the keys that would be awesome.” He dashes out of the kitchen, returning with wallet and keys in hand.  “Can’t leave without these!”

“Lord, Avery if your head wasn’t attached you’d forget that too. Now put some hustle in it and get Hadley to her appointment.”

“Speaking of which, did I get gas?

Jenny huffs.
“Take the car, I’m taking the truck. One scratch on it and it’s off with your head. I’m serious not a scratch or dent and remember what I talked to you about earlier and the locks on the car.”

My face goes hot when Jenny mentions the locks and I let out a breath.
“She put the child locks on because I may or may not have jumped from the car when it was moving,” I say to Avery in an attempt not to make a big deal out of it. I suppose he caught my expression to let it go because he salutes Jenny.

“I’ll start the car Miss Hadley,” Avery says completely ignoring the lock issue.

Throwing my hoodie on I follow Avery grabbing my purse on the way out. The cool weather greets me making me shiver. I’m thankful I decided to put on track pants and a hoodie; I’m not a cold weather person. It’s not freezing by any means but I gasp clenching my teeth together as the wind hits my face. 

The leaves have fallen onto the driveway and crunch under our feet as we make our way to the car. The neighbors have their house already decked out for Christmas. It’s like Clark Griswold lives next door and I am going to play the part of the poor couple he kept blinding with the lights once they turn them on.

The Christmas season is upon us in full force. Jenny is starting to decorate little by little and the house looks extremely festive. It makes me miss the traditions we used to have. Putting Christmas lights up and picking out a tree, singing off-key Christmas carols. I barely survived Thanksgiving with the help of Avery. I held off taking the pills that taunt me. I hope I can survive Christmas and its memories, I hope I’m strong enough.

Trepidation fills me the closer we get to the car. Closing my eyes I feel my lungs closing up and sweat running down my neck. I stop, rooted in place. My mind travels back to the accident, images streaming through my brain as I brace for impact. Instead a heavy set of arms tightly wind themselves around me and pull me towards them as my legs give out.

“Whoa,” Avery says leaning back to steady us.

I try to open my eyes but for some reason they refuse to open. My eyes won’t open. What’s wrong with them? “Avery?” I ask whispering.

“Huh?”

“I can’t open my eyes.” I tell him as my voice starts raising another octave starting to panic again. I feel him in front of me, his fingers finding both sides of my face.

“Okay, here’s what I want you to do.” he says seriously. “I want you to take a deep breath.”

I take a deep breath.

“Now I want you do lift your right leg up and hold it for the count of five.”

Wait – what?

“I can’t life my leg and you know it.” I say glaring at him. “What a stupid ass thing to ask me to do.” Giving him a dirty look I look past him at the tree trying not to cry. Wait. I can see again. Looking back at him I burst, “You did that on purpose didn’t you?”