Authors: Bella Jewel
“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” I hiss, stepping forward. She takes a step back until we’re both in the room.
“You were going to leave me,” she sobs. “You were going to go off with her.”
“How do you even know about her?” I bellow.
“I’m not fucking stupid. I saw the way you looked at her. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Then I saw a message on your phone a few months ago and I knew.”
“So you lied, you made a mockery of sick people so I wouldn’t leave? What kind of person are you?”
“The same as you,” she screams. “Low and pathetic.”
“Maybe so,” I growl. “But that’s why it should have ended. You know as well as I do there is no hope here. Why would you fuckin’ keep me here when you never wanted it either?”
“Just say it,” she yells, throwing the phone. “Don’t put it back on me. Admit what you’ve wanted to admit for years. Admit that you don’t love me anymore.”
I take a step forward, getting in her face. “I don’t love you anymore.”
She reaches out and she slaps me hard. My head jerks to the side and I grind my jaw.
“I don’t love you either, you piece of shit,” she screams. “In fact, I hate you.”
“Hate me?” I laugh cruelly. “If you hate me then why lie? Why not let me go?”
“Because I have nothing without you.”
My eyes widen and I take a step back. I’m sure I’ve heard her wrong.
“What did you say?”
“Oh, come off it, Nate. You know as well as I do this relationship has been dead for longer than it was alive. You stay because of Macy, and that’s okay because it’s such a noble fucking thing to do. Well, I stay for the money. I have no family to turn to, no people to take care of me. Without you I have nothing.”
My blood boils. “All along I’ve been fighting for my daughter, and you’ve been fighting for . . . money?”
She shrugs. “I need a life too.”
“What about Macy? Where does she fall in all this?”
“I love our daughter, but you know I never wanted kids.”
Boiling point. I’ve reached boiling point. I knew Lena was money hungry—she always had been, it’s why she never wanted me to stop racing—but to think that I’ve lived through this hell all because she didn’t want her gravy train to end has everything inside me snapping.
“How. Dare. You?”
She laughs angrily. “How dare you? You disrespected me by fucking that . . . whore. You’re no better than me.”
“No,” I say. “You’re right, I’m not. But I stayed with you because I wanted the best for my daughter, when all along all you cared about was money. You don’t deserve her.”
“You’re not taking her, Nate. She’s my daughter and you know I’ll get the rights.”
I get up in her face. “Like fuck I’m not. She’s coming with me and so help me God, Lena, if you try to fight me I will take you down.”
“You’re not just going to leave me with nothing! I’ll fight you, Nate,” she screams.
“What is it you want?” I bellow. “Money? You want money to leave us the fuck alone? Fine, I’ll give you as much as you need. But you will not take my daughter and let her live the horrible life you choose to inflict on yourself.”
“Three hundred thousand.”
My mouth drops open at the cold, hard person I’m seeing before me. She didn’t even hesitate, didn’t even
try
. . .
“Nothing? Nothing at all?” I rasp. “She’s your daughter.”
“And all I’ve ever done is let her down; you make that clear daily. She’s better off with you, Nate. I care about her enough to know that.”
“You were going to use her, weren’t you? To get what you wanted.”
“I’m done here. Talking about this won’t change it. If it’s done, Nate, then end it and move on.”
I shake my head, sad and angry that the woman I once loved turned into this.
“When did you change into this?” I say, shaking my head sadly.
“When I married a man who didn’t really love me.”
I’m sad for that, because maybe she’s right. Maybe it was a marriage that should have never happened. We were young and crazy and lusty. But were we ever truly in love? I turn and walk to the kitchen, pulling out my checkbook. I write her out a check and hand it to her.
“Before I hand this to you, I want to know one thing. What did you say to Avery?”
She crosses her arms. “I told her I wasn’t sick. I told her if she didn’t leave I’d take Macy from you. The little bitch had no place here. None.”
My heart thumps with rage and I thrust the check towards her.
“Take it and leave. Don’t try and take Macy from me or I’ll make you pay, Lena. You clean yourself up, you make something of yourself, then you can come back and you can see her when you want, but I won’t lose her. I don’t trust you, and I don’t want my daughter’s life at risk.”
She tucks the check into her pocket. “Fine by me.”
“Pack your shit and leave. I’m taking Macy and when I come back, I want you gone.”
“Do I at least get to say goodbye?”
I nod and watch her disappear into Macy’s room. Breaks my fuckin’ heart when my daughter walks out, tears in her little eyes as she watches her momma pack a bag, not even shedding a tear for her little girl. She turns to me when she gets to the door. She blows a kiss to Macy, saying, “Momma will call you every day.”
Then she turns to me and mutters, “You know, I might actually thank you for this one day?”
I won’t hold my breath.
“W
here is she?” I demand, glaring at Kelly.
“I’m not telling you, Nate. She’s moved on and she doesn’t need any more drama in her life.”
“That ain’t your choice to make. Now tell me where the fuck she is.”
“She’s moved on,” he barks. “She’s found someone else, Nate.”
My world spins and I take a shaky step back. I’ve spent the last month clearing up shit with Lena and working out a comfortable routine for Macy and I. I’ve ended things properly and set myself up, ready for Avery. There was never a second I wasn’t going to come back for her. Now I have, only to hear she’s found someone else.
“You’re lying,” I growl. “She loved me, Kelly.”
“She lusted after you; she didn’t love you. She’s moved on, she’s seeing another man and staying longer. Move on, Nate. It was never right.”
“Don’t you tell me what was right,” I roar, lunging forward and slamming him against the wall. “You will never know.”
“Leave,” he grinds out. “And get your fuckin’ hands off me.”
I spin around and charge off, my world falling to pieces around me.
~*~*~*~
I
t’s been two months and I’m finally home. The moment I step through my front door, I sigh with relief. It was the best choice I could have made, leaving. It gave me the chance to breathe a little. I found myself, picked up my spirits and came back ready to start again. And I will—fresh, and right from the top.
I walk straight over to my answering machine and see I’ve got more than twenty messages. I got myself a cell phone to take away that only Liam and Kelly had the number to. To step away, I had to do it properly; I had to disconnect, to avoid any temptation of calling the wrong person. I reach down and click play, and the first message that comes up is from Jacob.
“Your father wants to see you. Go and see him, Avery.”
Like hell.
I click the next.
“Av,” a croaky voice.
Nate
. My heart stops. “It’s me. Where are you? I left Lena.”
My heart stops beating. He left Lena? He left . . . Lena?
I press the next one.
“Where have you gone? Why won’t you answer my calls? Fuck, Avery, pick up. I need to hear your voice.”
Oh, God.
“Avery, tell me where the fuck you are. Please.”
My knees wobble.
“How could you? How could you just move on? I just spoke to Kelly. He told me everything. Fuck you, Avery. I loved you, do you fucking hear me? Fuck you.”
What?
I listen to the rest of the messages, but that one sticks in my mind. He thinks I moved on? Kelly told him I moved on? My blood boils as I pick up my phone and dial Kelly’s number.
“Avery, you’re back?”
“What did you say to him, Kelly?”
He sighs. “Avery, you have to understand I was protecting you.”
“Tell me what you said?” I cry.
“I told him you moved on,” he admits. “I told him you never loved him.”
Oh, no.
“How could you?” I breathe.
“He came back for you, thinking that everything he did could be forgiven. He isn’t right for you, Av, you couldn’t have dealt with it.”
“That wasn’t your choice to make,” I yell. “It was mine, Kelly.”
I hang up the phone and quickly dial Nate’s number.
He came back for me.
Oh God, he came back for me.
“This number has been disconnected.”
No.
No.
I turn and grab my purse, rushing out the door. I get into my car and start it, and it splutters a few times before rumbling to life. I reverse out onto the street and then head towards Nate’s house. When I arrive, I leap out and run up to the front door. I pound on it, over and over and over. No one answers.
I turn and go to head out the back when I see the sign.
The
for sale
sign.
“No,” I cry, rushing towards it.
He’s not here. He’s selling his house and he’s not here. He has no phone. He could be anywhere. I get back into my car and I speed the entire way to Kelly’s cabin. When he sees me arrive, he comes running out the front.
“Where is he, Kelly?” I say, tears in my eyes.
“I don’t know, Avery.”
“Stop lying to me,” I scream. “Where is he?”
He sighs and lowers his head. “He moved interstate.”
My knees buckle and I grip hold of the railing to keep myself up.
“Where?”
“I don’t know!”
“Please, Kelly,” I sob. “I love him. Do you understand that at all?”
Kelly closes his eyes. “He has a race—two days from now.”
He rattles off the location and gives me a pained expression. “Before you go, before you run down there without thinking, make sure you know this is what you want, Avery. He’s hurting too; it’s not just about you. Think it through.”
I nod and turn, running back to my car.
I have thought this through. I’ve thought it through since the day I laid eyes on Nathaniel Alexander.
He is my ever after. Maybe not my happily, but he’s certainly my forever.
M
y knees tremble as I watch the race, watching Nate sliding around on his bike, effortlessly, carelessly. My heart aches in my chest, because this is the championship. This is the win or lose moment for him. So far he’s been incredible, but that could change; it could change at any second. I clutch my purse and I keep my eyes trained on him, willing anything, everything, to give him a chance.
During half time, I don’t move. I just watch people around me disappear and come back with food and drink. Nate is in the middle of an open field, speaking with reporters and journalists. When the race starts back up again I step closer, edging towards the railing. I reach it and wrap my fingers around the white bars, staring and praying for the man out there.
That’s when he turns and his eyes scan the crowd, one hand raised. They all cheer and scream. His eyes turn to me and I slink back, but I know the moment he sees me. I know because his hand drops and he stops moving. I swallow and step back into the crowd, feeling my heart pounding. Oh God. He wasn’t meant to see me, not now, not until after the race. I close my eyes as I hear the roaring of his bike, and I only dare to open them when he begins to move.
He barely makes it around once before ending up in a stack.
Oh no.
I step towards the bars again. My eyes burn with unshed tears as I watch him climb onto his bike. He looks over again, and when he sees me, he raises his hand just slightly. Slowly, using every muscle in my body as if my hand weighs a hundred pounds, I return the wave. He needs to know I’m there, needs to know I will always be there.
He gets back into the race, soaring over the jumps and sliding around the corners with ease. The crowd goes wild, screaming and chanting his name as he skids around a corner, his boot going out to ease him around. There are a solid ten riders in the race, and even though he came off his bike, he’s catching up quickly. As the final lap descends, my heart stops beating.
“Go!” I scream. “Go!”
He catches up to the group, weaving in and out as they reach another bend. One man loses his balance and comes rolling off his bike, causing another two to lose theirs and do the same. Nate is behind the bike currently in first place, and he begins edging to the side to get around him. The crowd begins to chant and my chest tightens as the finish line approaches.
At the last minute Nate charges forward, his bike gliding effortlessly. He ducks around the man in first place and slides over the finish line only seconds before him. But he did it; he did it. I scream and jump up and down, clapping and crying at the same time.
“Nathaniel Alexander, winner!” someone yells.
Tears blur my vision and my heart swells with joy and pride as I watch him hold his trophy in the air, yelling loudly. Then I do something crazy: I leap over the railings and onto the track. A few security guards see me but I’m a fast runner, and I’m too far ahead of them. I run around the track, heading straight towards Nate. He sees me and a smile, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him, fills his face.
Tears rush from the corners of my eyes and trickle off into the breeze as I run. The moment I reach Nate, I lunge towards him and wrap my arms around his hips. His arms crush me to him and he stumbles backwards a few steps. I have a stranglehold around my neck and my tears can’t be controlled as I lean back and I kiss him, I kiss his cheeks and his jaw, his nose and his mouth.
“Seems someone is happy he won.” The announcer laughs and the crowd cheers loudly.
I pull back, cupping Nate’s face in my hands.
“Av—” he begins, but I cut him off.
“There was no other man. Kelly lied. He lied to protect you and me. I came home and I heard your messages, and Nate, it broke my heart. I have so many things to say, so much to express but it won’t change anything. All that matters is that right now, in this moment, I am giving myself to you. I love you, Nathaniel Alexander. That will never change.”