Authors: Ethan Day
Tags: #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-237-9; Sequel to Sno Ho
whole exchange than I felt she should have been.
Gabe now had his full, Doris-Day-Assault-Gear up and in
place, doing his best to portray anger as opposed to the lust I
could see on his face, plain as day.
Jackie walked by, stopping briefly as she checked out Gabe
and Chip, glancing back and forth between the two men. “They
gonna fuck anytime soon, or are we settling in for the long haul?”
I lost it, covering my face with my hand in an attempt to not
make any more of a scene. Thank God the music is so damn
loud, I thought. Jackie shook her head and moved on, walking
away without getting an answer, though I assumed she’d already
made the call in her own mind. I had to squelch my urge to chase
after her and drill her for an opinion.
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My heart sank for Tommy, seeing him and Lonny standing
several feet back. Lonny took Tommy by the hand and held it
until he came back to his senses. He shook Lonny loose and
walked off in the direction of the bar. I stood there, wondering
why the happiness of one person was so often followed by the
sadness of another.
“Looky there,” Sandy said, causing me to jump since I hadn’t
noticed her sidling up to me. “Isn’t that Robbie standing there
talking to Wade?”
I followed her line of sight, while trying to recall who the hell
Robbie was. I felt my lips curling up seeing Wade, the mere sight
of him elicited my inner happiness. “Who’s Robbie?” I asked,
trying to remember even though I was fairly certain I’d not heard
the name before.
“You don’t know?” Sandy asked, a pity-look taking over her
face.
“That’s Wade’s ex,” Theresa said, an apparent tone of
disapproval in her voice. “What’s he doing here, anyway?”
I’d like to know the answer to that question as well
.
There he was—the one that almost was, the analog version of
the all-new digital me. Not exactly what I would have imagined,
even if I weren’t so self involved that I actually thought about the
ones who came before. He was too pretty, I thought, kind of a
Rob Lowe type…rolled in sugar.
Well fuck him, I have better hair and
his ass is flat.
I smiled at my own silliness, somehow knowing deep
down that I had nothing to fear from this dude.
I spied Sandy out of the corner of my eye and could tell
she felt all smug, loving that I knew nothing about this Robbie
person. Wade had mentioned he’d tried the relationship thing
a time or two in the past, but never with any success. We’d not
gotten into any of the details, though. I could feel the cracks
forming in the happiness vase filled with the florally water I’d
been swimming around in all evening long.
I was more bugged by the fact I knew nothing about the man
than I was his mere existence. I didn’t appreciate having my nose
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197
rubbed in the fact that there was a hell of a lot Wade and I didn’t
know about one another. Especially when the pile of shit came
from my arch-nemesis.
Sandy strolled away, humming some creepy sounding tune—
like a psychotic serial killer.
And me without my electric chair.
I felt Gabe’s hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Sure!” I yelled, just as the song ended. I immediately plastered
on my fake-ass grin, as if I were Mr. Potato Head with my stock-
in-trade big red lips. “That was loud, wasn’t it?”
Lonny and Donny were each enjoying a laugh at my expense
as the group of twenty or so folks within my scream-radius began
to turn back to their own conversations.
“What the hell is his ex doing here, anyway?” Gabe asked,
sounding irritated.
“That’s Wade for you,” Chip said, reminding me of the fact
he was no fan. “Not the saint everyone likes to pretend he is.”
Must remember to find out why those two hated each other,
I thought, enjoying the momentary distraction. I wasn’t however,
happy to see Gabe newly interested in Chip, having found
someone else on the planet who wasn’t too keen on Wade.
Just great, and right when Gabe was finally starting to come around
.
“I doubt very seriously Wade invited him,” I reminded
everyone.
I’d bet my tight, sweet ass that Cruella DeBirdville would be
the guilty party, I thought. Wonder how she’d enjoy a taxidermied
Peanut for Christmas?
Theresa grabbed my arm in a squeeze. “Nobody liked
Robbie.” She nodded with a huff as she shot Chip a dirty look.
“So
don’t
let any of the talk about Wade’s past get to you.”
Chip rolled his eyes at her then glanced back at Gabe, seeing
he was staring across the room at Wade, distrustfully. It was as if
I could see the evil-wheels turning as Chip realized he’d found
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an in with Gabe, and he was likely silently cheering it was due to
their mutual dislike of my man.
I was about to open my mouth when Gabe turned to me in
disgust.
“I knew he was bad news. I came here anyway, and I’m now
very happy I did. I can see firsthand that I was right.”
Gabe stormed off as Donny and Lonny rolled their eyes.
Lonny flourished his arm into the air in a pageant-esque
manner. “And the award for the drama-queen of the year goes
to…
Gabriella!
”
“Do excuse me,” Chip said, smiling like a greedy child.
“Chip, damn it,” I said as he walked off, hot on Gabe’s heels.
I glanced up at the ceiling. “Deliver me.”
The twins were now staring at me and Theresa, who was still
clutching my arm like we were a couple.
“Don’t you two need to go find a new unfortunate soul to
stalk?”
Donny huffed, making a squeaky noise in his Minnie Mouse
voice.
“We
still
have the other brother, thank you very much.” Lonny
reminded me.
“You mean the straight one?”
With that, they each cut into me with matching withering
stares before hauling ass toward the bar.
“They are fabulous…like pretty, little gay dolls,” Theresa said
aloud, though I was certain she hadn’t necessarily meant to.
I took her by the shoulders and shook her gently. “Please,
sweetie…promise you’ll stay away from the twins. I don’t want
to find you hunkered down in a corner later bleeding from your
eyes and ears.”
She giggled, twisting her hips, which caused her poofy skirt to
bounce. “You’re so funny.”
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199
“Thank you, dear.” I sighed, throwing in the towel since I had
more important things to worry about, namely me. “Now go play
nice with the other kids.”
She stopped twirling, and a frown took over her face. I tossed
her a wink before high tailing it toward Wade, who did appear to
be behaving in a somewhat overly familiar manner with his ex. I
was guessing things hadn’t ended too badly between them since
this Robbie dude was smiling and chattering away as if they were
long lost BFFs.
Robbie met my gaze briefly as I approached the two of them.
They were talking about Robbie’s new job in some boutique
hotel in Denver, so I’d already deduced how they’d likely met
one another. Robbie must have worked at the lodge at one point.
“
There
you are!” I yelled, laughing when Wade nearly jumped
out of his skin, startled by my loudness.
“Jesus, Boone.” Wade clutched his chest.
I was staring at Robbie, patiently waiting for an intro. “Turn
my bubble-butted backside for one minute—”
Okay Vainella, you
can refrain from referencing how hot your ass is now.
“—and I find you
trying to pick up a matinee idol.”
“Speak of the mouthy devil,” Wade said. “Boone this is an
old friend, Robbie.”
Robbie finally held out his hand, which I accepted.
“Nice to meet you,” Robbie said.
I wasn’t all that sold on the authenticity of his statement.
Old friend my ass
. “He’s your ex boyfriend, babe. The two of
you shared orgasms…not game night.”
Wade smiled, like he thought I was jealous, which wasn’t
actually the case. Well, okay, maybe a little, but not particularly so.
“Who told you that?” Wade asked.
“Your biggest fan, Sandy.” I wanted to smack that grin off his
face. I returned one right back to him instead before turning to
Robbie. “I knew he was lying about being a virgin…telling me I
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was going where no man had gone before.”
Wade coughed, choking on his beer after trying to take a
drink.
“That seems odd,” Robbie said, appearing to be genuinely
confused. “The Wade I knew never lied.”
Was he serious? Amber alert, amber alert! Can I get security on aisle
five…Rob Lowly’s lost his sense of humor.
“You were joking.” Robbie nodded as if he was finally tuning
in to the amusement channel.
“He does that a lot,” Wade said, not sounding quite so full of
himself anymore.
I sighed, staring off into space, doing my best to portray soap
opera worthy melancholy. “So sad when all the mystery fades.”
“Very difficult to get this one to be serious about anything,”
Wade decided to add.
“This one? Forget my name there buddy?” I smacked him in
the shoulder with the back of my hand. “And hello…I was totally
emoting mere moments ago.”
Robbie was doing his best at projecting positivity and cheer,
but I could tell it was just a veneer. There was a sadness there
whenever he looked at Wade, like he’d lost something and he
knew it. I figured he came here because he wanted it back.
Unfortunately, Robbie had come back to the party way too late
in the game for that. I think he knew that too.
“It’s great to see you smiling so much,” Robbie said, nodding
as he watched Wade. “You never used to do much of that.”
Wade smirked, before taking a quick sip from his bottle. “I
think we can lay all the blame for that at your feet, huh?”
“Well…” I faux preened, like I was staring in my very own
romantic comedy movie montage. “Go me!”
Wade was staring me right in the eyes. “See what I mean,
never serious about anything.”
“I think I’ll go find our Sandy and say hello,” Robbie said.
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201
I assumed Robbie didn’t enjoy watching Wade eye-fucking
me, which was the real reason he decided to depart. I couldn’t
quite tear my gaze away from Wade’s so I didn’t exactly get a
chance to read the man’s face or body language. Wade’s however
was unmistakable. He looked like he was ready for a sequel to our
bathroom shenanigans from earlier that evening.
“Not so fast buddy.” I shot Wade my squinty Clint Eastwood
impersonation. “Thanks for inviting your ex without bothering
to prepare me for it.”
Wade downshifted from lusty goodness to shocked innocence.
“I didn’t…he just happened to be passing through town.”
I rolled my eyes while laughing at the ludicrousness of that
statement. “Well sure, ‘cause Summit City isn’t at all out of the
way from everywhere else on the planet—tucked away in the
friggin’ mountains and all.”
“Why are you mad at me?” Wade asked, though I could see
plain as day that he hadn’t actually believed Robbie’s story himself,
now that I’d poked at the very obvious holes in its validity. “It’s
okay to be jealous, but I don’t think you should take it out on
me.”
“I’m not actually jealous,” I said, trying to grasp what it was
that irritated me about the situation.
“Well, that’s disappointing,” Wade blurted out.
“Nice,” I said, shaking my head at him.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t enjoy having Nemesis Sandy know shit about you
that I don’t, that’s all.” I waved at Curley, the nosy, gossip-fueled
cab driver, as he passed by with a mounded plate full of food
from the buffet. “We can talk about this later. I don’t want the
whole damn town to know we’re…”
“Arguing?” Wade finished my sentence for me.
I sighed, then leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“I love you.”
Wade winked at me, then gave me a quick peck on the lips just
202 Ethan Day
before I added, “Asshole.”
He laughed, taking me by the hand. “Let’s get you drunk, that
way I’ll win the fight we’re gonna have later.”
“You get me drunk and there won’t be a fight later.”
“Even better,” Wade said, tugging on my arm until I
succumbed, allowing him to pull me along with him.
I turned my back for an instant to find that my man had
once again been descended upon by a pack of townies. I was
contemplating inserting myself into the group, finally instituting
operation meet and greet, but I was actually over the stupid party
now that Sandy had struck. My mother passed by, chattering
away at break neck speed, completely surrounded by The Quad.
I rolled my eyes at hearing the words “Ms. Texas” come out of