Lilith (12 page)

I followed her to the familiar
nurse’s window and reached for my pills. Ever since I’d arrived in the hospital, the meds had messed with my ability to hear people’s thoughts. It made me wonder how many crazy people in here weren’t actually crazy. If my ability could be numbed by pills, maybe other abilities could be too.

One guy, Donn
y was in here for what they called borderline schizophrenia. Which meant that he heard voices, but had no other symptoms. I suppose if they had to give him a label that’s the most logical one they could choose. I honestly thought that he might actually hear the voice of God. Who was I to judge a fellow crazy.

I opened my mouth and held out my tongue. The only bad part about the pills, other than the obvious loss of my ability, was the fact that I
felt like a walking Zombie most of the time. For at least an hour after taking it I felt catatonic. I’d take my usual seat by Ruthie and stare at the wall. Today though I was supposed to get my visitors early since it was my birthday. So I followed Rachel again back down the hall.

Chapter Twelve

Happy Birthday

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Paaacccceeyyy, HAPPY birthday tooooooo yoooouuuu.”

I stared at the familiar faces and smiled. None of them could carry a tune at all. I was surprised to see
a dark haired Weston cowering behind Rhiannon.

“
Hey Wes, come here.” I reached forward and pulled him into a quick hug.

He released me quickly and back
ed away, his eyes on Dean.

“Rhi talked me into coming. She figured since I was here
anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to come. How you feeling P, you doing okay?”

I stared
at his tan skin, familiar brown eyes and felt my heart squeeze in pain. As good as, I could be under the circumstances.

“Yea, I’m doing better.
And I’m really glad you came.”

Dean put an arm over my shoulders and pulled me towards the table. My dad was sitting with a smiling woman I’d never seen before. There was a cake on the table, and a bag full of presents.

“Hi baby, happy birthday.” My dad’s voice was strained.

He motion
ed to the woman sitting next to him and she held out her hand.

“Hello Pacey, I’m your lawyer
Stephanie Caruthers. I’ve been assigned to you by a third party that was worried about your welfare. I’m here with some pretty good news.”

I looked around me puzzled. What good news could she possibly have, and who was the third party?

“Well, because there is a limit
Legally,
to how long they can keep you without it being voluntary. You are going to be able to leave. See today is your 18
th
birthday, and despite what your father believes, you are capable of making your own decision. If you want to leave you can, no one can force you to stay here. You have been observed, and are no longer a danger to yourself. Dr. Griffin wants to continue seeing you in a strictly outpatient setting.”

I listened to
Rhiannon and Dean express laughs and exclamations of happiness. What I couldn’t understand was why my dad looked so unhappy about it. Didn’t he want me to come home didn’t he miss me?

“I don’t understand.” My eyes narrowed in my
father’s direction.

“What don’t you understand Miss
O’Brien.” My lawyer stared at my father’s reddening face and then at mine.

“Why
was I here to begin with, if it was purely voluntary, and why it’s against my father’s objections.”

The room around me became silent. Dean, Wes, and
Rhiannon all sat down and waited for Mrs. Caruthers response.

“Well
legally,
a person who has tried to injure themselves is only able to be held for a 72 hour observation. If said party has no prior Mental Health issues, or previous occurrences, they are seen by a Psychologist and sent home. In your case, after the first 72 hours your father took it upon himself to have you committed, without your knowledge. Because you were a minor child, and he your guardian, this was completely legal. But now since you are no longer a minor child, you are able to decide for yourself. Would you like to go home?”

I stared at my father’s face in anger. I shook my head and felt the pain and b
etrayal wrap tightly around me.

“No, I will
most definitely not be going home. But I want out of here. What do we have to do?”

My father sucked in a breath of anger and stood up from the table without looking at me. He rushed across the room and slammed the door behind him. Mrs. Caruthers smiled softly and reached
into her briefcase.

“Just sign these, and were done. You can have your
friend’s help you pack, and go wherever you want.”

I smiled at Dean, Rhi, and Wes. I was getting out of here thank God, but what
was wrong with my dad?

I stared out the passenger side window without speaking. I could hear Wes and
Rhiannon’s laughter ringing like bells. Their voices became muffled by the numbness creeping across my skin. As it sank deeper I knew it had nothing to do with the pill I’d taken earlier at the hospital. I wiped at a stray tear that spilled down my cheek.

My father didn’t want me.

I repeated the words over and over again in my head. My father didn’t want me, didn’t want me, he DIDN’T WANT ME. He’d signed the papers that kept me in that place for an undisclosed period of time. Did he blame me for my mother’s death. He’d never said it, never even acted like it before, but now I had no clue.

For
years, I’d always thought that our relationship was great. We’d joke and laugh. I had the same quick-witted humor he had, and most of the time that seemed like enough. But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe what I thought was a bond was forced.

If I had to replay my whole life over again I wouldn’t know where it had all gone wrong. It could have been my destiny to fall in love with Dean, or it could have just been a fluke, an accident. But that wasn’t what made my da
d sign the papers of committal.

Lilith wasn’t able to sway men, not like she could females, she couldn’t take over a man and control him. Adam was immune to her powers. So why was my father so quick to turn the key to my cell?

I could feel the back of my seat being kicked annoyingly. Every couple of seconds I lurched forward from the impact. I waited for a minute, but the kicking persisted. I turned around and screamed at Rhiannon.

“STOP IT.” I yelled louder than I meant to, and
Rhiannon’s face immediately went blank.

Wes stared at me in fascination and grabbed
Rhiannon’s hand in support. That was a new development. I didn’t remember ever seeing them be that friendly. Guess dad wasn’t the only one who had secrets.

“Sorry, but seriously, that could drive anyway flipping
mad,
and I would know.”

Rhiannon
smiled and kicked the back of my chair again. I laughed and looked down at their intertwined hands, and Rhiannon pulled hers away.

“So I guess there’s a lot I don’t know huh?” I stared at Wes’ face and he quickly looked away.

“Does Wes know?” I looked over at Dean and he nodded.

“Hey Pacey you know I’m never one to judge. If you
say, some psycho demon chic is hot for Dean then whatever. I personally don’t see the appeal but hey, I’m a dude. I’m surprised I don’t have ten Lilith’s looking for me.”

“Thanks Wes.” I rolled my eyes and looked at Dean’s ruffled exterior.

“Hey just so you know, Pacey and Lexie fought over me. So it shouldn’t be that hard to believe.”

Rhi laughed.
“Oh yea lover boy, all the girls want you. Now if you are done stroking your own ego can we get back to the topic at hand? Since you aren’t going home, where are you going to stay Pacey?”

I chewed on my lip in concentration.
“Well your place is out. Don’t get me wrong I love your place but you have been influenced by Lilith before. I can’t take the chance that you’ll do what my mom did. Wes doesn’t live here and Dean?” I stared at his smug face before continuing.

“Is obvious
ly under the impression that I was going to stay with him. What kind of girl do you think I am?”

He smiled again and ran his eyes up and down my body.
“Oh I know exactly what kind of girl you are.”

I punched him in the arm and looked back out the window.

“Maybe it would be best if I got like a motel room and stayed by myself.”

Dean’s concentration on the road wavered a little and his hands tightened on the wheel.

“No, wherever you go, I go. Sorry baby but that’s the way it is.”

I could hear Rhi gagging in the back seat.

“Well, even though I don’t live here anymore, my brother has a cabin out on the lake that’s currently empty. He usually rents it out but since he knew, I was coming for a few weeks he let me have it. There’s enough room for all of us.”

I could hear the wistful sound of his voice. Oh yea he had it bad for
Rhiannon. I wondered why I’d never noticed it before. Little miss Selfish, I guess I was too concerned with myself.

“Sweet, but uh, I don’t know if my mom would be cool with that. I won’t be 18 for two months. Maybe if she knows it’s for you Pace, and I
leave out the part about boys.”

Two hours
later, we pulled down the long dirt road into a gravel driveway. The trees were heavily branched and blocked out most of the sun. If I didn’t know who owned it I might have thought of it as creepy.

Near the lake, the cabin had
a huge deck with patio furniture that looked out over the water. A small broken down dock, and a boat bobbed on top of the glittering glass like top. The mountains around the lake reflected perfectly off of the mirrored surface. I shivered and looked away.

I
’d tried to talk Rhiannon out of coming out here, but with Dean, and Wes screaming that they could handle her, I was overruled. My two best friends, and boyfriend, weren’t going anywhere.

For the three
days, I spent in observation Ruthie sat glued to my side. She told me about her life, and her sister’s true love, and the death that took over after she found him. She explained that my meeting Dean was fated. I was special, one of few females in the world unable to be influenced by Lilith.

She said that our
story replayed and recycled over and over again for thousands of years. Lilith would always be obsessed with the descendant of Adam, and today that descendant was Dean. The only bad part about taking down Lilith, other than the obvious of not knowing how, was that the effects of the pills I’d been taking numbed my abilities.

So before I could even attempt to use them, to learn to harness them, and become stronger, I had to wait until they were b
ack in full swing. We still had months left of High School, not to mention the Bad Girls Club was still planning on taking down Lexie. And I still had to find out what was wrong with my dad.

I threw my backpack on the double bed and looked around the dusty room. If Dean was under the assumption he was sleeping in here with me he had another thing coming. I watched him glance in the room and start to make his way inside.

“Huh uh Sparky, march on back out and down the hall.”

Dean’s eyebrow went up in surprise and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. All I needed to do was give Lilith another reason to attack me.
Obviously, intimacy was a big no-no.

“Ahh come on Pacey, I can sleep on the floor.” His voice was hopeful but I shook my head. No way was I falling for that one.

“Right, and you won’t just wind up in my bed accidentally. Nope down the hall. Rhi is taking the room in-between us to keep an eye on you.” I smiled and shut the door between us.

It would be easier to tell him no if I didn’t have to look at his all
too sexy face. I reached for all the mirrors I could find and stacked them on the bed face down. We’d all decided removing them was a good idea. That way, at least from what I knew, she couldn’t see what we were up too.

The phone in my pocket vibrated and I stared at the familiar number with dread. I took a deep breath and pressed okay.

“Hi dad.” I said.

“Pacey.” He said.

“Yep that’s me, what’s up?” I didn’t know what else to say, and I could hear the distance in his voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“Really?” I waited for what seemed like hours for him to respond.

“I don’t know why I did it. I know that’s not what you want to hear. But well, I couldn’t look at you and not see your mother. Bridget thought it would be a good idea for you to stay as long as you needed. I mean, you did try to kill yourself, and you did stab you
r mother.”

I could feel my f
ace redden in anger. Bridget who?

“Yea, I did do those things, and you know why. Is it wrong to
love my mother. Is it wrong knowing that she died because of me made me so upset I couldn‘t imagine living without her. And who is Bridget?” I could hear a woman’s voice in the background.

I stood up when I overheard t
he words
hang up
and
crazy
.

“Look Pacey, again I’m sorry. I don’t really have anything else to say.
Bridget is just a friend from work that has been helping me cope with the loss of your mother. You know with your grandparents gone I don’t have any family here. I’m not going to feel bad for needing compassion. I’ve got to go. I hope we’ll talk again soon.”

Before I could
answer, I heard the phone go dead. He did have family…he had
me
. I stared at the phone like it was a foreign object. Who was Bridget? I felt myself go numb as the realization came over me, I knew exactly who Bridget was, she was Lilith incarnate.