Little Conversations (10 page)

He lifted the covers, and Devin climbed into the warm
flannel sheets, lying on her stomach and looking out into the dazzling night
sky.  He stretched out next to her on his side and tugged the blankets up to cover
them.  The shadows danced across the room as a gust of wind picked up outside,
blowing the large trees around in Ronin’s yard.  A light rumble of thunder
echoed in the distance. 

“Your bed smells nice.   Different.  All, um… like Downey or
something.”

Ronin smiled.  “Yeah, did some laundry.  The sheets were
due.”

“So, clean sheets.  No other skanky ho has rolled around
naked getting her funk all over.  Nice to know.”

“I don’t ever have skanky house bunnies in here.  For that
matter, I don’t really let anyone in here.  My room is off limits for company.”

“Ummm, Ronin?” Devin raised an eyebrow in the darkened room.
 “I’m here right now, ya know.  And not for the first time.”

“First of all, you’re not a skanky ho.  If fact, your kind
of the opposite.  I’d do damn near anything to get in your pants, and you kinda
keep brushing me off.”  Devin shifted uncomfortably as he quickly continued,
tucking a piece if hair behind her ear.  “You’re different… not company.  It’s
kinda like you should be here.  I sure as fuck miss you when you’re not.”

“Even if I don’t spread my legs for you?  Even if I lay
around pining for an ass that drove my ego into the dirt?” Devin asked quietly.

“I’m not sure why you’re different.  You’re like a friend,
but not.  Something unique, special.  You’re better than a girlfriend.  You don’t
pick and annoy and whine.  You don’t use sex as a weapon or a bargaining tool.”

“Considering you and I have never actually ‘done it,’ I
think it’s fair to say I don’t use sex at all,” Devin sleepily interjected. 

Ronin ignored her as if she hasn’t even spoken.  “You are
faithful to a fault,” he said softly, “as is evidenced by your continued
misguided dedication to that asshat Jake.  You offered him everything, and he
was fuckin’ dumb enough to go looking up another tree.”

“Ronin, I’m so far from what you’re describing.”  Devin
turned to her side and raised her head slightly, leaning on her elbow.  “I’m
not that perfect girl.  I’m not even really a good one.  I’m weak and bitchy
and kind of, I dunno… I’m all kinds of fucked up.”

“Honey, you are far from weak.”  Ronin traced her eyebrow
with the tip of his finger, following the curve of her cheek, grazing her neck,
across her collarbone to the edge of the thermal.  Softly, it trailed over the shirt,
across her shoulder, and down her arm.  “You have no idea just how much
strength you have, how much power you can wield with just this one little
finger.”  He lifted her hand and lightly kissed her pinky.

Devin shivered, looking at him for a second before rolling
to her other side, snuggling up to spoon against him.  Her eyes gazed outside
the window above Ronin’s bed and scanned the stars on the horizon.  As mountain
storms tend to do, the thunderstorm had poured rain, rumbled with thunder, and
then passed quickly.  The fresh scent of raindrops wetting the pines breezed in
through the cracked-open window and permeated the air around them.  The stars
appeared especially bright in the storm’s wake, glittering in the black velvet
of the sky. 

“See that kind of hook-
ish
shape in the stars?” Devin
asked in a soft, husky whisper.  “Right there.  Just above the horizon kind of curving
into the Milky Way?  That’s Scorpio.  Those four stars that are sort of in a
square, that’s the curve of his tail.  As autumn fades into winter, he’ll fall
below the horizon and, at the other end of the Milky Way, you’ll be able to see
Orion the Hunter.  He hangs out near Taurus.  He’s my favorite…”  

She rested her head on her hands as a dreamlike look crossed
her features.  Her gaze remained locked on the sky.  Ronin smiled at her words
and brushed a lock of damp hair away from her face.

“Tell me about him,” he murmured, happy to just hear her
voice softly rambling on in the dark.

“Orion was this real badass who can be seen in the winter sky
to the southeast with his bow and hunting dogs.  He’s easy to find because of
his belt of three really bright stars all in a row.  The story generally
describes him as this gigantic, studly guy who was really popular with the
ladies.  One of Zeus’ daughters, Artemis, who was the goddess of hunting, kinda
had the hots for him.  But, since she was a goddess and, therefore, a virgin
divinity, she couldn’t go there.  But they hung out a lot… went hunting.”

“Poor Orion.  I kinda feel for the guy.”

“Ha ha, fuck you,” Devin said dryly, pursing her lips at him
before she looked back out at the night and continued.  “So, anyway, according
to my favorite version of the story, he was off hunting with her and her mom,
Leto.  Now, when I say he was a badass, I mean he was all epically badass, and
was revered by people everywhere.”  Devin’s voice softly filled the darkness in
the room, slowly telling her tale.  Ronin just listened as he softly caressed
her hip, pressing her even more tightly against him.

“But,” Devin continued languidly, “he was just a bit on the
cocky side.  He started spouting off to Artemis and Leto, going on about how he
could kill every beast on earth.”  Devin shifted again to her other side,
facing him in the starlit night.  Ronin’s hand tenderly plotted a small pattern
up and down her arm.  “Well, the Earth Mother heard this and got all kinds of
pissed.  So, she sent a huge scorpion to kick his ass.  Somehow, Scorpio ended
up going after Artemis, and Orion saved her.  He and Scorpio got into this big
nasty fight, and eventually Orion was stung by Scorpio and died.  Zeus threw Scorpio
up into the sky among the stars to warn men not to be too full of themselves.  But
Artemis and Leto begged Zeus to honor Orion, too, telling him how he saved Zeus’
own daughter.  Zeus felt kinda bad when he heard that, so he put Orion in the
stars too, but far away from Scorpio so they couldn’t fight anymore.  Now, when
Orion rises, Scorpio sets.  They are never in the sky at the same time, so they
can’t fight anymore.”

By the time she had finished, Ronin was softly smiling at
her descriptions.  “I think that is the best story I’ve ever heard.”

“I know, right?” Devin smiled back drowsily.  “It’s kind of
romantic with unrequited love.  A big, strong, sexy hero.  A fight to the
death.”  She sighed wistfully.  Slowly and thoughtfully, she traced his strong
jaw with her fingertip.  “You’d make a good Orion,” she murmured absentmindedly. 

Ronin raised an eyebrow, and, realizing that she’d said that
out loud, she buried her face in his shoulder. 

“Umm… shit…” she whispered.  “It’s getting pretty late and I
have to work tomorrow.  I should probably, um… yeah.”  

Neither of them spoke after that, both lost in their own
thoughts.  Devin contemplated the need to work on her verbal filter, rather
mortified by her offhanded Orion comment.  But, honestly, Ronin
was
exactly how she pictured Orion when she was a little girl.  Big and stoic,
muscular with a strong jaw, a fierce build.  A mighty Greek hero.   

Devin’s consciousness finally began to fade with the soft
touch of Ronin’s fingers running along her shoulder and the steady sound of his
breathing in her ear as it settled into a soft pattern.  Periodically, he would
nuzzle into her hair or his arm would squeeze her gently against him.  As her
eyes drifted closed and sleep overcame her, she saw Ronin in the stars.  A
warrior.  A saint.  A savior.

Scooping a little vanilla Häagen-Dazs into a bowl,
Devin sprinkled it liberally with Cocoa Krispies and sliced strawberries.  The
menu screen for Casablanca continued to replay while the fudge sauce warmed in
the microwave. 

Comfort food and a movie where everyone is nice to each
other.  Even the Nazi Major Strasser and freedom-fighter Victor Laszlo, who so
obviously despised each other, were polite and cordial.  And Ilsa always looked
so perfect; even her tears were like diamonds as they sparkled down her cheeks.
 If only life were a classic black and white film.  

Devin grabbed a cuddly throw from the loveseat and hit play
while taking a big bite of her ice cream.  She really should be sleeping,
but Melanie was in town tonight. 
Mel
as Jake referred to her these
days
.  Blech! 
They were probably wrapping it up at a party before going
off to be alone and—
Ugh!  So not going there.

A knock sounded at Devin’s front door, startling her.  Nobody
used her front door.  Devin didn’t have a key for the front, so she always
used the back door, keeping the front locked at all times.  Few people—pretty
much just Joanie and Amy—ever even came over at all, and they used her back
door.  It was a small town, yes, but she was also a vulnerable young woman
who lived alone. 

Oh God!  What if it was the creepy neighbor who just moved into
the other side of the duplex!  

Devin wished she had closed the front curtains along the
large windows of her living room.  In the full darkness of near midnight,
whoever was at the door must have seen her in there.

“Just a sec,” she called as she rifled through her backpack
for a can of bear spray.  Better safe than sorry.  She pulled the
clip and held the bottle behind her back in her left hand as she opened the
door as far as the chain would allow.  Ronin’s hazel eyes peeked through the
crack at her.

“Ronin?” she gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Not sure,” he responded.  A slightly glassy, intoxicated
light glimmered in his eyes.  

“Jeez, you’re a wreck.  You didn’t drive here, did you?”

Waving his hand towards her driveway in an exaggerated
motion, Ronin took a deep breath and shook his head.  “Joe dropped me off.
 Lost my keys, can’t get into my house.”  He eyed the chain still
holding the door closed.  “Um… can I come in?”

“Oh, shit.  Yeah, sorry.”

Devin closed the door enough to loosen the chain and took a
step back as she swung it open.  Ronin took a couple uncoordinated steps,
stopping to lean against the entryway wall to face her.  His eyes dropped
to the red container in her hand. 

“Bear spray?  Who’d you think was out there?”

“Heck if I know!  I wanted to be prepared in case it was
some creepy guy or Sasquatch or something.”  Devin returned the safety to
the bear spray and tucked it away in her backpack.  Turning back to Ronin, she
saw him weave slightly.  “Ronin, you’re a bit unsteady,” she giggled.  “You
should probably sit down.”  She placed a hand under his arm, leading him
to the couch where the movie continued playing, and gave a gentle nudge to urge
him to sit. 

“Whatcha got there?” he asked, motioning to her bowl on the
coffee table.  

“Ice cream.  My Devin special.  Want some?”

Ronin nodded with an awfully cute, uncharacteristically boyish
smile, probably due to his inebriated state, and Devin completely melted her
inside.  She curled up next to him and offered him a spoonful.  

“Dang, that’s some good stuff, and I don’t really even like
ice cream,” Ronin mumbled. 

They continued to take bites of Devin’s special dessert as
the focus switched to Casablanca.  Victor Laszlo was leading the musicians
in a round of Les Marseilles.  Devin’s eyes watered slightly and
goosebumps rose on her flesh at the emotion this part evoked in her.  She
had seen this movie more times than she could count, and it always choked her
up—the desperation, the fear, the struggle to endure and survive.  

“You’re cryin’,” Ronin noted.  

Devin smiled a little through her watery eyes.  “This part
always kind of gets me.”

Ronin grinned back.  “That’s cute.”  He pulled her more
tightly to his side.  His fingertips absent-mindedly stroked the hair falling
down her back as she rested her head on his shoulder.  She breathed in deeply,
eliciting a firm squeeze from Ronin’s arm around her. 

Time went by, Sam played it again, Rick and Ilsa expressed their
love, and the plane flew away, leaving Bogie strolling into the fog with Captain
Renault speaking of a beautiful friendship.  Devin looked over to gauge
Ronin’s thoughts on one of her favorite movies ever, only to see that he had
essentially melted into the couch… fast asleep.  She studied him closely.
 His solid jaw was relaxed.  His lashes fanned out on his cheekbones.
 He’d taken his hat off, setting it on the back of the couch, and she
detected a touch of curl in his very short hair, likely why it was so very
short.  A small smile touched her lips.  He really wasn’t the
long-curly-locks type of guy. 

She traced his cheek with a light graze of her finger,
feeling the course texture of a day’s growth.  A faint flush spread
through her as she remembered the rasp of that stubble against her own cheek,
her neck, her collar bone… her breast.  Maybe someday, when she wasn’t so
fucked up anymore, maybe she’d be able to let go.  To follow through, to
continue instead of giving into that nagging, desperate hope that Jake may
someday want her back.  A foolish hope that, as long as she didn’t give
in, as long as she saved herself just for him and didn’t
cheat
on him, they
would end up together in the end.

Ronin’s eyes fluttered open at her continued light touch.  “Damn,
I think your movie put me to sleep.”

“My guess is that it is what you were drinking before you
got here that did that,” Devin said softly, a slight smile touching her lips.  “Plus,
it is pretty late.”

“Do you want me to go?”

There was a slight pause as Devin studied his features.  “Do
you want to stay?” she countered in a barely audible voice.  

His gaze heated some, and he nodded slowly. 

“Not that I…  Well, I mean, I don’t mean for—”

“Honey, I doubt I’d ever turn you down,” Ronin chuckled, “but
I’m a bit schnockered and I’m not sure I’d be much good anyway.  Besides,”
he added, “I actually just kinda like holding you.”

Devin chewed her lip a moment before she stood, helped pull
him upright, and led him to her room.  His gaze immediately settled on her
little Jake shrine—photos of Jake and a couple of pictures of the two of them
together, a little Black Hills gold necklace, a few ticket stubs, a napkin from
prom.  Mementos of that ill-fated young love—a little pile of memories that she
just couldn’t release, in spite of the hurt she felt when looking at them. 

“You have it pretty bad, huh?” he asked.

Devin gave a sheepish nod.  “Nobody usually comes in here.
 Sometimes Joanie when she’s helping me pick out something for bar-hopping
and… sometimes Jake,” she mumbled.

Ronin sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off his cowboy
boots.  He reached forward and tugged just a little to settle her on his
lap.  They just sat there for a while in a comfortable silence.  The light
touch of Ronin’s fingertips danced along her spine as she relaxed into his
embrace.

After some time had passed, Devin spoke in a small voice.  “I
don’t think I’m going to school in the fall,” she thoughtfully murmured,
looking at the memories of Jake before her.

Devin’s quiet announcement caused Ronin’s hand to stall its soothing
trail along the curve of her back.  He followed her gaze to the photos and
ticket stubs.

“You shouldn’t let Jake and Melanie dictate your life,” Ronin
suggested softly.

“No, that’s not it.  That’s not what I’m doing.”  Devin sat
up straighter and turned towards him.  “But I don’t know what I want to do,
what I want to be.  Honestly, I was kinda only going for him.  So I could be
with him, so we could be together.  I don’t really see that happening at this
point.  Hell, I don’t even know what I want to go to school for.  I declared
nursing for a major, but I hate blood and I hate needles, so I’m not so sure
that’s gonna work out for me.”  After a moment’s pause, she continued.  “But,
that said, I’m not sure I could go.  To see them together all the time.  It
still kind of hurts.”  

“So, what are you going to do?  Stay here?  Keep working at
the Sundowner, serving buffalo burgers to tourists?” Ronin asked.

Devin ran her fingertips along his strong hand
absent-mindedly.  “It’s fairly good money.  Tips are fuckin’ awesome.  Maybe I
need to just see what happens.  Follow where the current takes me.  It seems to
be pulling me away from Jake, as much as it kills me.”  

“He’s an ass for what he’s done to you, what he’s still
doing.  You’re cooler than shit, seriously.  You deserve so much more.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Devin joked dryly.  

Ronin’s chuckle morphed into a sleepy yawn.

“Here,” Devin said quietly as she stood, pulling back the
covers so Ronin could slip beneath them.  Then she curled up against his
side.

“Have you always lived around here?” she asked after a few
minutes. 

“I was born in California, actually,” Ronin replied, lying
on his back with his eyes closed.  “My dad left when I was about nine years old. 
About a year later, my mom moved us up here to live with my gramma, mostly
because I had just been starting to hang out with some kind of rough kids in
Cali.  I got to Montana and knew all kinds of shit to get in trouble with the
kids around here.”  

“I would have totally thought you’d lived here forever.  You
seem to fit in very well.  You sorta have the mountain vibe going.”

Ronin laughed softly and looked over at her.  “Yeah, maybe
now I do.  Thanks to finding good guys to hang out with like Joe, Matt, Shane.  I
was pissed as hell about whatever brought me here, though, and kinda ran wild
for a while.”

“Where in California did you live?”

“Lancaster.  It’s sort of northeast of LA around the Mojave
Desert.  I mostly just remember it being hot and dry.  Desolate as all fuck.”

“We used to go to San Diego a lot when I was a kid.  My
grandparents lived there.  My favorite place was always the bluffs above the
ocean near Del Mar.  Sometimes we would sit there for hours and watch the
whales spouting.  And down on the beach, we used to look for sand dollars.  I
was always fascinated by the kelp.  My older brother used to psych me out by
making me think he was eating jellyfish, that they were stinging his throat and
he was going to die.”

“Do you ever go there anymore?” Ronin asked.

“Now and then.  I have a cousin who lives there.  She’s a
rich, super-fabulously successful model who lives on the beach.”  Devin paused
for a moment.  “She’s drop-dead gorgeous, tall, blonde.  Everything I’m not,
apparently,” Devin added the last bit sourly, thinking of Melanie, also tall
and blonde and beautiful, and how she so easily pulled Jake away.

Ronin raised his eyebrow at the jealous lilt in her voice.
 He reached out and brushed a lock of hair back that was working its way
over her eyes.  “Devin, honey, you’re gorgeous.  Not everyone wants a fuckin’
blonde amazon, you know.  Like this…”  He gestured to the two of them, lying in
her bed as a cool breeze danced with the curtain through the open window.  “I
kinda like how you fit curled up against my side.”

“Great.  I’m good in a dark room,” Devin moped.

Ronin chuckled.  “No, you’re so much more than that.”  He rose
up on his elbow to look down at her in the shadows, and she shifted to lie on
her back.  “Like your hair, for instance.  You look like a brunette at first
glance.  But then the sun hits your hair, and… it’s like it catches fire, all
these red and blonde parts just glow.  And your eyes, I swear they change
color.  Some days, they look gray, some days blue, some days a pale green.
 You are a bit of a chameleon, you know.”

Devin was quietly overcome by his words.  For a moment, she
could only look at him perplexed.  “Why do you tell me these things?” she
whispered.  “I was with Jake for three years, and he never said anything like
that to me.  He always made me feel like… I don’t know.  Like I should be
grateful that he wanted me because nobody else would.  And you, you’re my
friend.  Albeit, kind of a weird friend since I don’t really, you know,
cuddle much with Amy and Joanie.  But sometimes you say things that just take
my breath away.  And I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Ronin gave a half smile that was faintly visible in the dim
cast of the rising moon.  “Just smile and say thanks.  I’m not saying it
because I want anything, other than to let you know that you are every bit as
gorgeous as Melanie—prettier, if you were to ask me.  And I’m sure you are
equally hot, if not more so, than your California cousin who has apparently
enhanced your inferiority complex.  You’ve kind of got a hate on for tall blondes,
huh?”

Devin laughed softly.  “Sorcha is actually really sweet.  Everything
about her appearance—even her name—screams out that she’s a spoiled, snobby
chick, and I’ll admit that I have always been a bit envious of her looks.  She
should make me feel totally inferior, but Sorcha is almost like a sister, the
closest thing I’ve ever had to one, anyway.  We are actually pretty close.
 Every now and then when I need to get away, she’ll send me a plane ticket
so I can house-sit while she’s out on a modeling job.  Life on the beach. 
Watching the waves roll in.  The lap of luxury where nobody else can find me.”  Devin
sighed wistfully.  “It’s a lovely escape.”  

Ronin rolled to his back, tucking her alongside him.  She
nuzzled his chest as his fingertips combed through the wavy tendrils of her
hair.  The gentle motion lulled her eyes closed and drew a deep yawn from her
tired body.  “This,” she murmured sleepily, “being here with you like this, it’s
a lovely escape, too.”