Live Today (Live Today #1) (14 page)

“You have got to be kidding me.” Brennan cries out. “Anything else we need to know?”

“Well, there is one more thing.” Matt says. “The signing needs to be done with a lawyer in California. I’m sorry Jenna. But your dad will be there to sign too.”

“What?” I ask.

“No fucking way.” Brennan is yelling now. “This is a sick joke right?”

“I’m so sorry guys. I’m not joking. I am not sure if he has to attend the service, but he does have to show up to receive his portion of her money.” Matt says.

“No!” Brennan says. “He is not going to be anywhere near my sister or me.”

“Brennan.” I cry. “Stop.”

“Stop?” He snaps. “I will not stop! That man made the choice to walk out of our lives, leaving us to fend for ourselves. As far as I’m concerned, he lost any right to see us. Period!”

“Bren, man. He has to be there in order for you to get the money.” Drew says.

“I don’t care! We can go and sign at different times. I will not have her happiness ripped to shreds again Drew. You didn’t see how she was.” He yells. Tears are pouring from my eyes. Gabe pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me trying to calm me.

“She was a fucking wreck. Ask Matt! It took her months to get over him walking out on us. MONTHS! Will was the only one who could get her to even talk again. She was like a God damned zombie walking around the house. It fucking tore me into two knowing that I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it.”

My bloodshot eyes make their way to Matt. It’s apparent he is remembering that time in our lives. A few droplets escape his eyes. I had no clue this affected Brennan so much let alone Matt. He never let on that it bothered him as much as it did me. Or maybe I was so selfish and blind wallowing in my own sorrow to even notice it.

“Brennan, I am so sorry.” I try to get out through broken cries.

“Angel, it’s not your fault.” Gabe whispers in my ear.

“Jenna. No.” Brennan cries. “Gabe’s right. None of this is your fault Jems. It’s his and hers”

“I know, but I was so selfish Bren. I didn’t even think about you.” I cry.

“Hey, I knew it was coming. I saw the signs. I had Will and Matt to help me out. They got me by, and their parents.” His voice softens.

“So what do we do now?” Gabe asks. “Obviously, you want the money. But on the other hand, you don’t want her to see your dad. Do you think she can sign at a different time?”

“I don’t know Gabe, but I will not allow him to set eyes on her after all these years.”

“Don’t I get a say?” I ask. Their eyes fall onto me. “I will do it Bren.” He shakes his head and begins to argue. “Shut up! Let me talk.” His eyes widen and he sits back. “I have gone through so much in my life. We both have. This money means a lot to you Brennan. So, this is what we will do. We will go to Florida so you can say goodbye to her. I will be there for you and you alone. I did not know the woman, so it means nothing to be there. Then, we’ll go to California. I will sign the necessary papers and we will come home. If he shows up, then he shows up. You know he will because if it was the money that was the only thing keeping him at the house, we know he will be back for the money. I’m not worried about it. I have you guys.” I try to smile. “I know you guys won’t let anyone hurt me.”

Gabe squeezes me tighter. “You have got to be one of the strongest women I know angel. Do you know that?” I sniffle and smile.

“You bet your ass you have us babe.” Matt says. “We are like your own personal body guards.” He laughs “Except for Gabe, he couldn’t hurt a fly.” I begin giggling.

“Fuck you man. I’m a lover not a fighter.” Gabe looks down at me and I laugh harder. “What’s so damn funny Ms. Munson?”

“You.” I say as I rest my hand on his chest. I know Brennan probably has smoke coming out of his ears, but I don’t care. Gabe has always been here for me, regardless of how we feel for each other, I know he always will. He looks down at me, laughs and shakes his head before pushing me in the middle of the Jacuzzi causing me to sink. They all begin in a fit of laughter. “Ass” I say when I come up and splash him.

“So.” Matt says between laughs. “Are we doing this or what?” I take my seat between Gabe and Drew once again and make eye contact with Brennan. His face is worrisome. I offer him a weak smile and a nod. He looks around the group then rests on Matt.

“When do we need to be there?”

“Well, she is being cremated so there isn’t a rush according to Mr. Johnson. Mom and dad plan on flying Dani out with them at the end of the week and will stay until the service.” He says.

“My mom and dad will be there in a few days. He has to get his sermon prepared mom said. I guess they will be staying with Matt’s parents too.” Drew says.

“So there’s no rush?” I ask.

“I don’t think so, why?” Matt asks.

“Well, since both your parents are going out there this week, and they are waiting on us, couldn’t we drive?” My eyes stay on Brennan as I ask. “Well, we can park Gabe’s and Drew’s in the garage and take the Escalade and my car.” I shift my attention over to Gabe. “Couldn’t we stop at your parent’s house for a few days?”

His eyes bulge out and all the blood runs from his face. Not the expression I was looking for by any means. “Um. I guess so yeah.” He stutters.

“Is that a problem?” I get the feeling there is as I ask. He answers a little too quickly.

“No, no. No problem at all. I would just have to call my mom to make sure it’s ok.” He answers with a shaky voice.

“Then it’s settled then.” Brennan claps causing Gabe and I to jump a bit in our seats. “We leave in two days.”

We are about an hour from the house. The last few days were hectic with phone calls to Drew and Matt’s families. Neither one of them have had any contact from my father which is a good sign. Brennan and I are hoping he stays out of Florida. The Escalade is filled with the guys’ bags and guitars and mine only has my two travel bags and my guitar.

We decided to split up and write out drive times between us all. We are hoping not to stop for the night, but by the looks of it, we will end up at a hotel. Drew is riding along with me and offered to drive first, I am thankful for that. I don’t think I slept more than two hours max all night last night. Brennan must have felt the same way because around three in the morning, he came into my room, crawled into my bed and held me to sleep. Not a word was made, no words were needed. I just knew what he was telling me with just him being there.

This morning was awfully quiet. Matt made a nice breakfast so we did not have to stop later, French toast, bacon, sausage, eggs and hash browns. We all kept to ourselves for the most part. Drew sat next to me alongside Brennan. Gabe and Matt sat across from us. All eyes seemed to be on me more than Brennan. I guess that is the same reason why Drew agreed to be my driving partner. I think they have a feeling I am going to snap and take something.

After breakfast, Gabe and I washed the dishes in silence as the rest of the group loaded the vehicles.  That too was an extremely quiet chore. I washed; he dried and put the dishes away. We both emptied out any perishable food from the refrigerator and cleaned out the garbage cans. Yesterday, we had walked over to the neighbor’s house and asked them if they could tend to the house for us and collect any mail. They agreed and wished us safe travels.

After our housework was done, we ran to the local grocery store to buy some snacks and drinks to take in small ice chests in the back seats. We also bought some walkie-talkies for the trip so we can chat during the drive. So far the speakers have been filled with the joyful sound of burps, me included of course. I actually am the reigning leader in longest burp in the house. It was a surprising shock to Drew when first came to rehearsals and I had belted the alphabet. The look on his face was priceless.

“I didn’t think women burped like that.” He said in shock

“Jenna here is no ordinary woman.” Matty said as he raised his hand in a high five motion.

“Sorry Drew. I know you had such high hopes for me, but the truth is, I have been raised by guys my whole life. It kind of rubs off on you, you know?” I said with a giggle.

“I officially stand corrected.” Drew responds.

While they were busy burping through the walkie-talkies, I decided to shut them out. I figured some sleep would suit me well since I didn’t sleep last night. Drew lowered the volume to the car radio, reached back and covered me with a blanket. I didn’t quite drift off fully when I heard them talking to each other.

“Is she sleeping?” Brennan asks.

“Yes” Drew answers.

“Has she said anything?”

“No, she hasn’t said a word”

“I am really worried about her Drewbie.” Brennan sounds concerned. I want to turn to let Drew know I will be okay, but I decide to stay quiet instead.

“Bren, she will be fine. Just think of all the shit that she went through in the last few days let alone the last six months. Just don’t treat her like she is fragile, that is what will push her over the edge.” Drew exclaims. He of all people knows how it feels to deal with a drug addiction. And if it was not for him lately, I honestly don’t know where I would be.

“I know man, but shit. She’s my sister. She’s all I have.” I can hear the fear in his voice. “I can’t risk losing her again.”

“You have us too. But I get it man, I get it. Just give her some credit. Every day is a challenge for us, if you only understood how bad we get the urge to use; you would give her kudos for how well she has done.” Drew says.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Just let me know when she wakes. Like push the beep button a few times. And if she speaks, give us three. Okay?” Brennan asks.

“Sure man, no problem Bren.” He says before placing it in the center console between us. I slowly drift off to sleep.

A few hours later, we have stopped to stretch and eat lunch somewhere in the northern part of Idaho. On our way into the restaurant, Gabe walks up behind me placing his arms on my shoulders. Brennan is in the restroom so he is unaware of the affection. As we walk to take our seats, he leans down to my ear and instead of kissing me as I thought he would do, he whispers.

“Are you okay angel?” Instinctively I lean into him and answer.

“Yes. I am doing fine Gabriel.” Then he kisses me softly on my neck before releasing me.

“Okay. I’m just checking to make sure.” He says before sliding in the corner booth. Gabe has been on edge since the night in the Jacuzzi. He says he is fine, but I get a weird feeling he does not really want to visit his family. It makes me wonder if he is ashamed of us and our band or if he is ashamed of his family. The waitress comes up and takes our order, but not without blushing at the guys and their flirty ways.

“God guys, can you just be normal for once?” I ask as I slide myself out of the booth to use the restroom. “Bren, can you order for me if she comes back please? I’ll be right back.”  He nods before I walk away.

I relieve myself and freshen up a bit before walking back to the booth. When I return, Gabe has the waitress sitting beside him while he openly flirts with her. He has her pen in his hand and is jotting down a number on her tablet. My heart suddenly feels heavy. I know I told him there was nothing between us anymore, but I was hoping in some way he would have shown himself and kept fighting for us. He glances up and his entire posture stiffens. She stands and thanks him. I refuse to make eye contact with him when I slide in. Suddenly I’m not hungry.

When the food arrives, the guys dig in. My appetite still hasn’t come back and my blood pressure has not gone down either. Not five minutes before finding her on his lap, he was over my shoulder kissing my neck. I’m not sure what kind of game he is playing, but I am done with it.

“Gonna eat that Jems?” Matt asks.

“Not hungry anymore.” I answer looking down at my bacon cheeseburger and fries as I play with a French fry in my ketchup.

“She needs to eat.” Brennan says sternly. “Jenna you have to eat.” I look up at him with narrow eyes. “It’s your turn to drive, you need the energy.”

“I am not hungry.” I snap back.

“I said eat! Who gives a shit what happens over there?” He tosses a fry towards Gabe. “He gave Matt’s number to her anyways.”

“What?” I ask. Then turn my head to Gabe. He shrugs.

“She wanted his number so I asked her to take a seat and I would give it to her. No big deal.” He says dryly. No big deal? Why do men have to be so difficult? “So what? It’s not like you and I are anything anyways right?”

Brennan begins to chuckle and I decide right now is the time to give him a Charlie-horse. He jumps and I begin to laugh, truly laugh. His anger suddenly subsides and he begins laughing along with me. The rest of the guys join in as well and I decide to take a bite of my food. Drew looks over to Brennan and nods over in my direction. I eye those two quickly before turning back to my lunch. I am starving after all.

While Brennan stays inside to pay for lunch, the rest of us walk out to the cars. Technically it’s my turn to drive, but Gabe has offered to take over driving on my car so Drew can take his spot in the escalade. We stand outside the cars quietly. Brennan walks out; we get in our cars and leave.

The tension in the car is thick. I have no idea why I agreed to ride along with Gabe. I should have let Drew stay in the car and I could have rode along with the other guys. I sit uncomfortably in the passenger seat and fidget with my phone. He takes his iPod and connects it up to my car stereo and blasts his music. Country music, great. I try to ignore his choice of music for as long as I can until I just cannot take any longer. So I reach over and turn the volume knob and lower it. He looks in my direction before taking the knob and turning it back up.

“Really?” I ask.

“What?” He questions my expression.

“For one, its country music, no that’s not even current country music. This is old school music Gabe. Who listens to this anyways? Especially at our age.” I cringe. “And, do we have to listen to it so loudly? My poor ears are being double tortured.”

“Angel, you better get used to it, because in about a day or so, when we get into Kansas, you will be listening to it a lot.” He says. Finally he mentions his home.

“Are you saying that there is not even one rock station around?”

“There are a few, but the reception is shitty.”

“Thank God I have my iPod and music apps then.” I say. He shrugs and grips the wheel as he stares onto the road. Something is definitely bothering him about this trip. I decide to push it aside for now. I reach for my iPod and ear buds. I turn it on and stare out the window and lose myself in my music and he turns his music back up.

A few more hours pass and we stop for a restroom break and fill up the gas tanks. I decide it’s my turn to drive. Gabe has decided to stay with me again. I honestly don’t know how much we can handle in the awkward silence any more, but I choose not to argue the issue. Matty offered to ride along with me, but Gabe told him that he could take the back seat in the SUV and sleep. We pick up a few things from the convenient store and top off our tanks. I take my seat behind the wheel and wait for Gabe to grab his pillow from the back seat. Once he settles in the car, we take off.

We have been on the road for about an hour or so. I decide now is the time to ask some questions. He is relaxed resting his head on the pillow that’s wedged between his head and the window. So carefully, I lower the volume of the stereo.

“Gabe.”

“Hmmm?”

“Why don’t you want us to go to Kansas?” I ask softly.

We sit in silence for about a full minute before he answers.

“I’m still not sure I’m welcome.” He answers honestly.

“Can I ask why?”

“Do I have to answer?” He asks.

“No, but it would be nice to know ahead of time what we will be walking in on. You know?” He sits silent for a few more minutes with his eyes closed. I actually think he may have fallen asleep, so I decide to let it go. Then he answers.

“When I left, it wasn’t on the best of terms. My dad told me that I was not going to amount to anything by leaving. And mom, well she just cried but I’m not sure if she cried because I was leaving or...” I remain silent waiting for him to continue. Just before I say something he begins again. “I guess you’ll find out soon enough right?” he chuckles slightly. “My ex. Well, she started a bad rumor about me, and it was not true. And for some strange fucked up reason, my parents believed her. My sisters of course believed me. I didn’t want to end up like the rest, so I left. They all knew I didn’t belong working in a grain factory or on the farm like my dad did. That’s not who I am. This,” He points to his chest. “This is who I am.”

I stare out onto the open road as I absorb this new information. For some reason, I do not dare ask what the rumor was, so I just leave it be.

“Do you think they will welcome us?” I ask.

“I told you they would. Ashley said mom started crying when she heard about us coming.” He’s looking over at me now. Ashley is his older sister. Even though I haven’t met her, I adore her tremendously. We even exchanged numbers a while back so we didn’t have to bother Gabe with our conversations on his phone anymore.

“What about you Gabe? You have to have missed your parents, not just your sisters.” I ask. “I mean, I know I for one can’t wait to finally meet Ashley and Emily. They already feel like family to me.”

“I am… I’m happy to see them. But angel,” he reaches over and takes my hand. “My family is here now though. You, Bren, Matt and Drew, this is my family. You accept me for who I am, not what you want me to be.” We interlock fingers and I don’t object. Ever since we spoke out in the front yard, he has been so distant. And to be honest, I have missed this. I gently squeeze his hand.

“You are family Gabriel. You have been since day one.” I smile at him before continuing. “But as much as we are your family, you have two sisters that adore you to pieces and you have parents that love you. I know it doesn’t seem like they do sometimes, but you still have them. Maybe this will be different with them you know? Just keep an open mind, okay?”

He shifts his body towards me, and rests his head on my shoulder. “I will try, but I won’t guarantee anything.” He says before sliding his head down onto my lap. Suddenly the walkie-talkie goes off.

“Um, excuse me, but where the hell did Gabe put his head just now?” Brennan chimes in. Gabe looks up to me when I look down at him and we both begin to laugh.

“He is resting Brennan.” I say when Gabe lifts his arm up and waves through the back window I start laughing harder. He takes the walkie from me and pushes the button.

“No really man, I’m giving your sister head. Didn’t you see her whip it out just now? You better be jealous man, she’s got a bigger package than you.” I am so shocked at him I end up slapping him in the stomach. “Ouch!”