Lives of Magic (Seven Wanderers Trilogy) (22 page)

I felt like I had to lock myself down. Cast my body in iron like I had fit my magic into it. I couldn’t ask if I was successful because only Seth could truly read my emotions and intentions. I was a little shocked to realize how much I missed him.

Kian kept us busy with sword fighting, picking up on the lessons he had tried to drill into our heads in New York. It was a welcome distraction, though I still felt a little ridiculous. I did surprise myself with the skill I was developing, and Garrison did not go easy on me. Something came to life within him as he got into the rhythm of the fight. Moira refused to participate and sat watching us.

I marvelled at how it really hadn’t always been like this — even though we acted like it had. I wasn’t always jumping around in the freezing rain, dodging Garrison’s sword or running laps just to warm up. I had been weak and blissfully oblivious.

I also kept myself busy by writing letters to my parents, telling them about how exciting the School for Talented Young People was.

One night, when I had just finished my letter, I turned off the desk lamp and lay down in bed. Moira had already fallen asleep and I lay staring at the ceiling. Just when I was wondering if I could ever get to sleep, I felt a pull.

It was the familiar tug that made me feel I was dissolving from solid to liquid matter, yanking my eyes back into my skull and thoroughly encasing me in a memory. My slight moment of panic was lost to a sudden carelessness that overtook me. I accepted the inevitability and let myself fall into the past.

I was cold. Sitting on a rock near a small pond, I could see the moonlight cast a light over everything in sight, illuminating the scene. While quiet and serene, the landscape buzzed with life. Animals roamed the clearing while frogs and fish made the pond bubble. My senses roared to life when I inhaled deeply and found the crisp smells of the night to be refreshing and invigorating. The sounds of existence filled my ears.

The rock was uncomfortable, but I had chosen it over a rotting log, knowing that an unknowable amount of insects would emerge if the wood caved in under my weight. There was rustling in the bushes and my past self spun around quickly, gripping a cold hilt in one hand. I felt the weight of the sword on my waist now that I was aware of it.

Seth emerged from the woods and my grip relaxed. My heart began to beat a little slower as I observed him picking his way carefully over the wood and rocks to sit next to me. He was slightly younger than in my previous visions, with a shorter beard and less wrinkles around his eyes. His face was coated in a blue mud mask. It was dry and cracked when he smiled at me.

We said nothing. He looked up at the moon for a long time while I considered him. I could feel the magic radiating off him and it kept me warm. But I did not feel safe. We were risking being found.

Suddenly, he turned and fished something out of his plain brown tunic, which he wore over brown pants and brown boots. He produced a gold coin and held it up to shine in the moonlight before reaching for my hand. Carefully, he placed it in my palm.

I could not tear my eyes away from his crooked smile. The smirk he wore was smug and looked very familiar. Finally, I looked down and saw a dirty gold coin imprinted with what looked like a man’s head. It impressed me and I raised my eyes to smile at him when I found Kian sitting there instead.

I
awoke already sitting up.

Moira turned on her light and looked at me, puzzled, resting on her elbow.

“Just a dream,” I told her, lying back on my pillow. She shrugged and turned out the light but I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. I shook.

After what Kian had told me about never having been with Seth, the faces in my memories had begun to blur. I couldn’t keep them straight anymore, but I knew what I had first felt. It was Seth in my past. Why was I getting them confused?

The morning dawned with bright sunlight, which I immediately noticed since it was so rare. Moira had already opened the window and the cool air in the room did a lot to bring me back to my senses. I wasn’t sure when I had fallen asleep the previous night, but I knew I was tired.

As soon as I moved to sit, I examined the faded blue bruises on my neck. Each day I looked to see that they were going away. After a week, I had stopped shuddering when I imagined the hands at my throat.

There was a knock on the door. Garrison stood outside with a resigned look.

“Kian has us sword fighting again in the courtyard,” he said. Garrison also looked as if he had gotten little to no sleep. Before I could ask about why he looked so tired, he proceeded down the hall and out of view.

I got dressed quickly and went outside, where Kian and Garrison were standing next to some sticks with strings attached to them. Moira followed me but again stopped at the benches surrounding the hotel courtyard. I recognized the long pieces of wood right away. Six summers at archery camp weren’t for naught. Though I had never tried one, I had seen the antiquated longbows hanging as decoration.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

Seeing Kian still brought back uncomfortable memories of my dreams last night. He had become quiet and removed from the group since Seth was shot. I longed for a moment alone with him, but it never came.

I tried to focus on the stick he held. It was a few inches shorter than me. Kian extended the stick to me and took another, which was leaning on the wall.

“Here, watch,” he said.

My mood eased as I saw he had a spark in his eyes like when he lectured us on swords. I could tell it was something he truly enjoyed. I realized his eyes very rarely held that spark. My logic led me to feel a little hurt that he must not at all enjoy his mission to guide us.

Kian took his wooden stick and turned his left foot out. He pressed it against the middle part of his foot and pushed on the top, causing it to bend. He took the string that had been attached to it and looped it around the top. The string pulled tight and the wood remained curved.

“It’s a bow,” he said, holding the stick up proudly. “But an old version of one. It might be a little difficult to shoot, but you should try.”

I enjoyed his smile so much that I didn’t mention I knew how to string a bow. I was sure he had known at some point about my archery.

“Where did you get this?” I asked.

“I made it,” Kian said as if it was obvious. “There was lots of wood thrown out after you destroyed the canopy over the walkway.”

Right. That.

When I looked carefully, I saw the bow had details and ridges for the string, arrows, and gripping. It was well made. I picked mine up and tried to string it. The wood was new and rigid, unwilling to bend. After some struggle, I managed to loop the string against the top. I felt a small sense of achievement when Garrison couldn’t string his.

When all the bows were ready, Kian gave us his arrows to shoot. I couldn’t help but notice that the feathers on the ends were real and debated on whether or not to ask him where he got them. They were fletched well, too. I wondered how much I didn’t know about him. What other esoteric skills did he possess?

Kian drew a line in the courtyard gravel and pointed at the opposing wooden wall of the gardener’s shed, telling us to shoot. He had drawn rings on it. I somehow felt like the hotel hadn’t agreed to this. Either way, I put an arrow to the string.

The familiar resistance against my fingers on the string and the firm grip of my hand on the bow gave me confidence. I had missed camp last year because of the move. It was over a year since I practiced. I pulled the string tight and brought up the bow, pulling back all the way to my chin. My time was limited since I had no glove or wrist guard. I inhaled, levelled up, brought the bow down, and released on the exhalation. My body had naturally turned to the side as I aimed.

Garrison’s shot wasn’t bad, but I was relieved to see my arrow close to the target. A year out of practice hadn’t done too much harm. Though my arrow sailed through the air and landed close to Kian’s target, he came over and positioned himself behind me. He forced his boot between my feet and kicked me a bit to get me to move my feet into a wider stance. His hands on my waist, he told me to level my body and be balanced.

“Now draw,” he said.

Assuming this meant ‘shoot the arrow,’ I obediently did. This time the arrow hit the target straight on. Garrison huffed near me.

“Imagine a moving target,” Kian told me. “Track it, slowly.”

I did as I was told, though my muscles protested and my fingers on the string ached. The draw weight of the bow was too much without gloves. I imagined being a hunter, finding the target with my bow. I pulled back and let go. Again, my arrow emerged from the target’s eye.

Being told to do it over and over again eclipsed the victory. Kian drilled us for hours until my fingers pulsed red. When he let us take a break, I realized Moira was gone. When Kian left to place our orders for lunch at the pub, I turned to Garrison.

“No sleep last night?” I asked him.

Since Seth had been in hospital Garrison hadn’t spoken as much or been nearly as animated as he used to be. I felt like the person I had known was only that way around Seth, and I wondered what Garrison would be like on his own with no companion in sight.

“Dreams kept me up,” he said solemnly. “Dreams about black.”

His depressing statement made me remember what Seth had once said about Garrison’s memories. We sat on the fence near the courtyard, nursing aching fingers from Kian’s bows. When I didn’t say anything, Garrison continued.

“Have I told you what stands out most to me from my memories?”

I shook my head. I had never wanted to press.

“I assume we have whole lives to unlock, but obviously some memories stick out more than others. Though I don’t know why those in particular. A part of me thinks we don’t want to unlock the whole truth. We haven’t completely surrendered to the past, and so we only get snippets.”

His statement made sense, though I still had no idea where he was heading with this. The conversation had taken a serious turn and I wasn’t sure how to steer it back to a normal, complaining-about-Kian kind of day.

“My family was killed in a village raid,” Garrison said blankly. “Then when I grew, I was a soldier and had my own family. The Romans killed them. I’ll spare you the details, but I feel that knowledge keeping me back. Like it’s a fence I keep turning away from. I feel like if I finally get the courage to jump that fence, I’ll have all my power back.”

I didn’t know what to say. A pat on the back seemed inappropriate.

“After all, the magicians are determined to get us, right? We don’t even know who they are, but if they’re responsible for what Kian says they are, then I need all the magic I can get,” Garrison said.

“Surely you’ve seen the worst there is,” I said, fully knowing that I could not imagine what Garrison had seen. “There must be some parts of your life that were good. You should be able to get those back.”

“I didn’t say it was rational,” Garrison replied. He squinted up at the sun. “Lunch yet?”

As if on cue, Kian came out with piles of bags from the pub in his arms. He handed them out and we ate silently. As soon as we finished, I heard the word I had been dreading.

“Again,” Kian said, standing.

We groaned and took up our bows, while Kian handed out gloves.

“I found these in the small shop in the pub,” he explained. “Not ideal, but it’ll help protect your fingers for now.”

The gloves did help and soon I found a rhythm to shooting the bows and retrieving the arrows. Pulling the shafts out from the wood still brought back memories of the war scene I had remembered when Seth was shot, but I felt I had more control now. We were just about to beg Kian for another break when Moira finally came back. She was soaking wet and stumbled into the yard.

“Oh!” Garrison dropped his bow and jogged over.

Soaked and shivering, Moira looked like a wet cat. Her hair hung limply and dripped onto her bare feet, while her coat looked like it weighed her shoulders down. They drooped and made her look rather sad. Had there not been magicians trying to kill us and steal our magic, I would have thought the sight was quite funny.

“I —” she stuttered, shivering, “I … went for a walk … see about magic …” Her eyes were still wide from the shock of whatever happened. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably and we agreed it would be better to continue the conversation inside.

Up in our hotel room, Kian and Garrison waited outside while Moira changed into dry clothes and wrapped her long dark hair in a towel. When they came in, she sat on the bed and took a deep breath.

“I tried going for a walk to see if I had any magic yet,” Moira said. Her tone was very matter-of-fact. I wondered if this was a coping strategy. “I stumbled and fell into a creek.”

Normally, the story would end here. But not this one.

“Then,” Moira became animated and accentuated her words with large gestures, “I found I could stand on the water! It was incredible! Took no effort at all! I decided to see how far I could go. A few steps later I was in the water. I don’t know what happened.”

I felt bad for not being more excited, but to us this was old news. While being drawn in by her gestures, I didn’t see Kian’s face change. He pulsed with disapproval.

“You have a magician trying to steal your magic and a friend in hospital, and you go off on your own to test your magic?” He stood and paced while Moira’s eyes widened with fright. “Did you not
think
before you wandered away? You choose not to train, you risk not recovering your full strength, and do you realize that the fate of
everything
relies on what you choose to do now, in these days?”

She hung her head.

“But Gwen —” she began. I was startled to have my name drawn into this. While I agreed with Kian, he was being slightly dramatic. I wondered the true cause of his ire.

“It doesn’t matter what Gwen does!” He was nearly yelling. Suddenly, he looked around to see Garrison and me in the room as if for the first time, and stormed out. Moira had tears in her eyes.

“Don’t worry,” I told her. “He’s just worried about you.”

She nodded but didn’t seem convinced. I realized I knew Kian better than I had previously supposed. His mood swings and challenges all stemmed from a good place. I had to go remind him of that.

Leaving Moira to be awkwardly comforted by Garrison, I crossed the hall and knocked on the door. Kian answered and silently let me in.

“You’re being unfair,” I told him. When he opened his mouth to protest, I held up a hand. “You’re right, but you’re being unfair. Moira doesn’t realize the danger or the consequences of her actions, but how can she? You haven’t told her, and she hasn’t seen what these magicians can do.”

Kian seemed to deflate. He sat down on the bed and I came to sit with him. Slowly, he covered my hand with his. The affection between us was still uncertain, but we had grown so comfortable with each other that I didn’t mind. We sat for a few minutes until he broke the silence.

“Should I go apologize?” he asked.

I nodded.

Kian got up to go, reluctantly dropping my hand. He had just closed the door to the hotel room when his phone began to vibrate on the night table. I realized I hadn’t seen him pick it up since Seth was hurt. I sat, waiting for it to stop ringing. Once it did, though, it began again a few seconds later. The buzzing was getting on my nerves.

I crossed the room without thinking and flipped it open, pressing the silence button. Kian had over forty missed calls from the same number. I was curious, but I didn’t want to snoop. I examined the buttons on the main screen of his phone, content with the fact that I wasn’t snooping if I didn’t open any of them. I noticed one of his short cuts was a camera. I had never seen him take a single photo, so I clicked on it, still trying to convince myself I was doing nothing wrong.

To my surprise, there were hundreds of photos. I had never seen him take any. I started to click through them without thinking. Sometimes, I was in the foreground. Other times, I was in the background and some pictures didn’t have anyone I had ever seen before. Seth was in some and Garrison in others. Moira was in one.

Strange.

I heard Kian’s footsteps coming down the hall and hastily put down his phone.

“I told her you would take her for a walk, to show her the magic you have collected,” Kian said to me as he walked through the door. “I trust you to sense something not normal more than her. You should be safe. Stick to main trails.”

I tried to act casual, though I felt the guilt burn on my face. I was convinced that if I stayed any longer, Kian would know that I had gone through his phone. So I hastily agreed and skipped from the room, thankful he didn’t follow me.

“Be careful!” Kian called.

The task of spending time with Moira was not ideal, but it was better than feeling guilty in front of Kian. Soon I began to worry about what I would talk about with this girl who claimed to hate me upon meeting me, and all thoughts of photos vanished from my mind.