LivingfortheMoment_F (8 page)

When the fire between us flickered out and died, we'd both move onto other lovers. I suppressed a slight shiver at the thought and assured myself I'd have fond memories of what turned out to be the first of many weekends with him locked in my arms while buried deep in my satisfied pussy.

I'd miss him but I would not be heartbroken because I was no longer in love with him. And despite his implications to the contrary, I knew he'd never been interested in me. That was okay because this experience with him was all about living for the moment. While it was the sweetest moment imaginable, it was still just a moment. It would end. When it did, it would be time to move on until the next moment. Hopefully, that moment would be with the right man and turn into a lifetime of love and happiness.

If I felt a tinge of regret that our moment had to end, I quickly dismissed it. That way lay trouble and I could not make the mistake of falling for him again.

Confident he'd gotten his way, he pulled his mouth from mine and put the tray on the nightstand. Then he sat on the side of the bed, just staring at me.

I stared back.

"Why do you want to put stumbling blocks between us, Sherlyn, when I just want to lose myself in you?"

I stroked his cheek. "I don't but one of us has to behave like a sexually responsible adult."

"Why when this is so much more rewarding?" he asked, slipping a hand under the sheet to find and stroke my slit.

I bit my lip and trembled. "I already told you I don't want to be a single mom."

"You won't be," he said, leaning close to kiss my neck as he stroked his fingers along my pussy.

"You'd marry me?"

He slipped his fingers inside me and gently pumped them. "If that's what you want...yes."

The words offered no comfort. While I believed that he'd keep his word and marry me if I ended up pregnant, I had no desire for such a marriage. How could I possibly be happy married to him knowing he didn't love me and had only married me because he had to?

I pushed against his shoulders.

He responded by pulling the sheet away from my body and quickly pinning me to the bed.

I stared up at him, hoping none of my hurt or dismay was apparent.

He pressed a long, slow kiss against my lips before rising to his feet. Capturing my gaze, he quickly undressed and slipped back into bed with me.

Despite my reservations, I warily welcomed him into my arms when he kissed me. I wasn't sure how much effort I'd have to exert to keep him from trying to fuck me completely raw. However, he surprised me and kept his word. He didn't have another condom so we just cuddled.

Lying in his embrace with his lips brushing my forehead and his hands gently touching and caressing me, I struggled to keep our relationship in prospective. It would have been so easy for me to imagine something warm and wonderful was happening between us. My mind knew better—even if my treacherous heart didn't.

* * *

Sherlyn

The following weeks were so magical for me I felt almost as if I were living in a fairytale come true again. And I was scared because I didn't have a good track record when it came to having my fairytales end happily. Still, I decided to work through my fears and enjoy every second of it. Just having the freedom to touch him as often as I liked or to lean down and kiss him as I walked pass was thrilling.

He invariably responded to such overtures by pulling me down into his arms and kissing me breathless. When we came up for air, he'd fill my ears and heart with delight by telling me how sweet and sensual I was. Such good times almost atoned for the years when I'd been in love with him alone. While I knew he was still not in love with me, the nights I spent in his arms filled me with wonder. They also made me ache for what I knew we would never have together—a true fairytale happy ever after ending.

But I could not deny I was having the time of my life with him. He was a skillful, passionate lover and an attentive suitor. Whenever we showered together, he sang to me. Nearly everything he sang was always off-key, but I loved hearing him sing love songs in his tuneless baritone.

I teared up every time he sang that old Marveletts song,
You're My Remedy
to me. I had fond memories of my father singing it to my mom just before he told her he loved her. The first time Darkwater sang it to me while we showered, I had to struggle not to view it as a sign that he would love me always—as my dad had loved my mom until they both died.

I knew he didn't love me, but on the nights we spent together, I pretended he did. Oh, yeah those hot nights. He made me burn for him night after night and then deliciously put out the fire. With him I felt every bit as sexually desired as I'd felt with Don.

When we dined out, we encountered many beautiful blondes, but there was never a moment when I felt as if I didn't have his full attention. I never worried that I'd return from refreshing my makeup to find him staring at another woman. While together, he made me feel as if I were the only woman in the world worth being with or looking at.

Darkwater was as generous with his money as he was with his sexual attentions. He showered me with gifts and praises that made me feel desirable and almost irresistible. He even showed me a few programming tricks to use when I was stuck and helped me debug a number of projects.

Chapter Six

Sherlyn

Although I suspected he didn't want Amber to know we were sleeping together, Darkwater made no effort to hide our relationship from his brothers. We had dinner out with them twice and he and I attended a party at Michael's apartment.

During those weeks when we spent all but three nights together old feelings and emotions that were better left undisturbed threatened to return. Although I knew it was unwise, I found myself falling for him again.

Those feelings betrayed me one night after we'd spent the evening out slow dancing under the stars. We returned to his house and swam naked in his pool. When he pressed me against the side of the pool and rubbed his erect cock against my clit, I had a weak moment when I wanted to part my legs and invite him to take me without protection.

Staring down into my gaze, he slipped an arm around my waist and slowly pressed the head of his shaft against my pussy.

I caught my breath as a wave of longing seized me. It was difficult, but I pushed him away and climbed out of the water, trembling.

He followed me and we dried each other off.

When I reached for the towel to wrap around my naked body, he tossed it away and knelt in front of me.

I stared down at him, my heart pounding.

Slipping his hands over my ass, he extended his tongue and bent his head to kiss and lap at my slit slowly before thrusting his tongue inside my pussy.

My legs shaking, I gripped his shoulders and pushed my hips forward.

Sliding his hand around my body, he ate me. Lord, it felt good. No one had ever eaten me with as much gusto as he did. His skillful fingers, tongue, and lips drove me to a quick, sizzling climax. When I cried out and came, he gripped my hip tightly and thrust his tongue up into me in search of pussy cream.

With my fingers curled in his hair, I humped his face until the last shudder of release left my body.

Pressing a final kiss against my pussy, he rose to his feet and took me in his arms.

I trembled in his embrace, feeling overwhelmed with emotions I knew I shouldn't be feeling.

He held me until I stopped trembling and then he took my hand in his and led me to his bedroom. On the rare occasions we didn't have sex when we spent the night together, we still slept in the nude. We got into bed together with the moonlight shining into the room and cuddled.

However, after a while that wasn't enough for either of us. I felt guilty because I knew he hadn't come and I wanted his cock in me.

Clearly, he wanted more as well. Nibbling at the back of my neck, he slipped a hand between my legs and eased his fingers into my pussy.

Feeling his big dick laying hard against my ass, I trembled, pushing myself onto his fingers.

He bit my ear lobe and pinched my nipples, making me wet and hungry for him. I mindlessly reached between our bodies until I felt his cock pulsing against my fingers. I lost it and I wanted it and him inside me raw, consequences be damned.

Almost as if he knew of my hunger and weakness, he suddenly removed his fingers from my slit, turned me onto my back, rose over me, and with one powerful thrust buried his gloriously bare and erect cock deep inside me.

Oh, fuck. I'd never felt anything so good in my entire life. I couldn't say no. I gasped and stared up at him with my eyes wide and my lips parted...ready and eager to be fucked raw.

He stared down at me, not moving.

After several moments, I realized he was waiting for me to protest and insist he pull out. I should have, but I couldn't. Just once, I wanted to experience raw sex with him. What little commonsense I had left insisted on a token protest.

I placed my hands on his shoulders. "You promised you wouldn't do this, Thomas."

"Tell me to pull out and I will," he responded in a brusque voice.

"So you're putting the onus on me?"

"It's your pussy."

"I thought it was yours," I countered.

He sighed. "I'd like it to be, but I'm sure you have other ideas."

"Not at the moment," I admitted.

"So what shall I do, sweet girl? Fuck you raw? Or pull out? I'm yours to command. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. What do you want?"

"Raw," I whispered. "I want you raw."

"Are you sure?"

"Aren't you, Thomas?"

"I've never wanted anything more, but I want you to be sure, sweet."

"I'll probably regret it later, but for now...Yes. I'm sure. I don't want you to pull out. I want it raw with you just this once."

"I don't want you to regret it."

"I will regret it because it's irresponsible and I've always been responsible. But when I'm with you, I lose my ability to reason. I just feel and everything with you feels so damned good and right, Thomas. So, yes. I want you gloriously raw inside me."

He hesitated for which I think I loved him a little more. "All the regret in the world won't undo it once it's done."

"I know that but I just don't care now. I just know I want this so much I…"

"You want it so much…what?"

"I want it," I said. He didn't need to know that even with regret, I'd still savor and enjoy the memory of raw sex with him probably until I fell in love again. Maybe even afterwards. After all, there was something unforgettable about a woman's first love. "I want you and I want you raw inside me. How many ways do you want me to say it?" I stroked my fingers through his hair. "Fuck me long, hard and deep and raw," I invited.

He kept his weight on his extended arms and slowly moved his cock in and out of me.

God it felt so good. I shuddered, closed my eyes, and dug my nails into his arms. "Thomas..." I whispered, overcome with emotion.

He paused with his shaft buried inside me to lean down to brush his lips against my ear. "It's good beyond words for me too, my sweet girl."

Something in his brusque tone made me open my eyes.

His gaze was dark and contained an expression I couldn't read. However, my treacherous heart wanted to believe it was love or something close to it instead of what it actually was—passion and lust. Afraid of what I might say if I didn't look away from him, I closed my eyes.

He pressed a long, warm kiss against my lips before raising his upper body onto his arms again.

I lay under him with my pussy full of his wonderful, thrusting cock and lost myself in the absolute magic of what was happening. I didn't allow myself to think. I just felt the joy of having him inside me without any barrier between our bodies. After fifteen years of fantasy, the reality of raw sex with him was all too sweet.

I'd demanded he fuck me, but he made love to me instead. He lowered his full weight onto me, rolled us both on our sides, and kissed and nipped at my lips, neck and breasts as he slid in and out of me.

Every kiss, touch, and smooth, deep stroke sent a delicious jolt of pleasure radiating through me. He took his time building the tension between us. At some point, I vaguely realized I was babbling almost incoherently. While I did, he suddenly froze and stared down at me.

"What?"

I wanted and needed him to keep moving. I clutched him close and humped myself wildly on him, impatient for the coming release; he turned me onto my back, and eased out of me.

"No, no!" I protested, reaching for him.

"I don't think you're aware of what you're saying."

Who wanted to talk when we could fuck? "All I have to say right now is please don't stop."

He held me still with his strong hands on my hips. "I want to make this last as long as possible and I want to give you time to realize what you're saying."

If I'd taken the time to ask him what he meant, things might have turned out differently for us. But at the time, I had other things on my mind and later, I forgot. Unfortunately he didn't and held it against me without even bothering to tell me what had gone wrong between us.

"Take me," I said again.

"Keep your eyes open, Sherlyn."

"Why? I want to close them and lose myself in the joy that's happening between us."

"Keep them open," he said sounding angry.

Confused, impatient and horny, I nodded. "I will."

After a moment's hesitation, he swore softly before he kissed a warm path down from my breasts to my slit. Kissing and licking my outer lips, he slipped two fingers inside me, thrusting slowly in and out.

That was nice but I wanted his cock inside me again—where it belonged. As I reached down in an effort to urge him back into my arms and between my legs, he sucked my clit hard. And I burst into a riotous cloud of mindless joy. I clutched his head to my pussy and shuddered through a delightful climax, sobbing with pleasure.

"Damn it."

He lifted away from me and rose above me again.