Local Girl Swept Away (27 page)

Lorna answered the door, barefooted. Her hair, clean now and shining once again, was caught in a high clip at the back of her head, and she was wearing a pale pink cardigan sweater I recognized as Elsie's. We stared at each other a moment and then she took a step back and said, “Come in,” as if it were her right to issue the invitation.

A puddle immediately formed at my feet as I stood in the marble-floored foyer. Even on such a cloudy day, the Rosenberg house with its white walls and windows on the bay was bright and cheerful.

“Did you want to talk to Finn?” Lorna asked. “He went out to—”

“No, I want to talk to Tess. Is she here?”

“Tess? Yeah, I think she's up in her room.”

I kicked off my soaked shoes and shrugged out of my dripping raincoat, leaving them in a pile by the door.

“Why do you want to talk to Tess?”

I looked right into those bright eyes that thought they had everything figured out. “She's next in line for Cooper. After you and me.”

For a few seconds Lorna's face didn't move at all, not the tiniest muscle. Then slowly it began to fill with outrage. I'd shocked her for a change, but I wasn't taking much pleasure in it.

She tried to pull herself together. “I'm not sure what you mean by that.”

“You know exactly what I mean. You can stop lying—I know everything. I know Finn is not Lucy's father, and I know it was Cooper, not Carla, who wanted you to have an abortion.”

Lorna grabbed my arm and looked around frantically. “Jackie,
please
! Rudy's in his office down the hall.”

“I didn't come here to give away your secrets. Although maybe I should—I don't know.”

The hard outer layers of her face seemed to have been peeled back to reveal the unblemished girl who lived beneath. I remembered that child. When Finn and Lucas and I hid from her behind the trees, it was that girl who thought she'd been abandoned. I'd felt guilty then.

Lorna took my hand and led me into a small alcove off the entryway where we couldn't be heard. “I can't believe Cooper told you. Have you . . . been with him?”

“Sort of. It was just starting. I never slept with him. And now I have proof that he's been coming on to Tess too.”

She winced. “I thought I was special to Cooper. He denied it but I didn't want to believe him.”

“He didn't tell me. I went to his house last night and heard you talking. I was outside the window.”

Her eyes blinked wide. “Eavesdropping?”

“Kind of a minor crime, don't you think? Considering.”

“You heard everything?”

“Enough. I know Cooper's the father. He's the one you love, isn't he?”

She looked down at her belly and pulled the pink cardigan tightly over her breasts. “He's the only one. Ever. I didn't even know what Finn was talking about when he used to say he loved me—I didn't know what the word meant until Cooper. I wish I still didn't know.” She looked so powerless I couldn't bear it. I had the urge to shake her, to hug her, to remind her who she was. If Lorna could be defeated, what chance did I have?

“I'm sorry,” I said. “I get it. I thought I loved him too.” But I was only playing with the idea, wasn't I? I never felt for Cooper what I did for Finn.

A corner of her lip turned up in an almost-smile. “Cooper's the male version of me. Kinda crazy, a little bit mean, totally dangerous.”

“Lorna, did you get pregnant on purpose?” By now I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

She shrugged. “Maybe. I wanted a way to hold on to him, to make sure he didn't leave me. I should have known a baby would do just the opposite. I mean, look at my own father.”

“And you ran away because he wanted you to get an abortion.”

She nodded. “I kept thinking, what if Carla had had an abortion? If she'd listened to my dad, I wouldn't even be here. I mean, she's a crazy bitch, but at least she didn't scrape me out of her uterus. I couldn't do it. But I had to protect Cooper—I didn't want him to lose his job because of me. That's why I slept with Lucas—he was my backup. I knew people would assume it was Finn's kid, but if for some reason that didn't work out, if Finn didn't believe it or something, well, Lucas was in love with me too, and I figured maybe he'd step up to the plate. He was my insurance. The more people it could have been, the less chance anyone would suspect Cooper. But then, the more I thought about it, I decided if Cooper wasn't going to be Lucy's father, I didn't want anybody else—I'd just go away and do the whole thing by myself.”

There was pride in her voice as she spelled out her complicated plan.

My spine stiffened. “But now that you realize it's too hard to do it by yourself, you've decided it's okay to make Finn think he's the father of a child that's not really his? You didn't want to hurt Cooper, but it's okay to hurt Finn and Lucas?”

Her face was once again guarded, her eyes shuttered. “Look, I'm sorry about Lucas, but he'll get over it. I heard he's got another girlfriend already. And Finn will be more hurt if he finds out he
isn't
the father. You know it's true, Jackie. He's all excited about it. He'll probably want to get married now too.”

“You just said you don't even love Finn!” I wanted to slap her, to slap the self-assurance off her face. Slap her, just once, because it felt like maybe she'd been smacking me around for years and I hadn't even known it.

Lorna rolled her eyes. “Do you really think everybody who gets married is in love, Jackie? Guess again.”

I backed away from her. “You're right. I'm naïve. All these years I actually thought you were my friend.”

Her grin faltered, but she didn't contradict me. I turned and walked up the stairs.

Tess's door was open, but I knocked anyway.

“Jackie! Hi. What are you doing here?” She jumped up from the upholstered chair where she'd been reading and gave me a hug. “Are you looking for Mom or Finn or . . .”

“Looking for you, actually. We need to talk.”

She looked surprised, but pleased. “Okay. I'm so bored with this rain. Sit down.”

She gestured to the other pretty chair, covered in pink-striped fabric. I'd always loved this room with its four-poster bed and brightly flowered quilt. It clearly belonged to the well-loved child of well-heeled parents. Of course, it hadn't kept Tess any safer than the ancient wallpaper and hand-me-down bedspread in my room.

“Did you talk to Lorna?” Tess asked. “It's a miracle she's back, isn't it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

She looked expectant, but she obviously wasn't anticipating what was coming. I wished I didn't have to be the one to wallop her with the ugly truth, but I didn't have a choice. “I know you like Cooper Thorne, Tessie. I know he kissed you.”

Her smile morphed into a frightened pout. “Who told you that? It's not true.”

I opened my backpack and took out the photograph. “That's not you?”

She grabbed the picture with shaking hands. “Were you spying on us? God, Jackie, you're jealous, aren't you?”

“Tessie, you can't be with Cooper.”

“Well, that's not true, is it? Here's proof that I can!” She stood up, ripped the picture into pieces and threw them in a wastebasket. “You want him for yourself, but he picked me!”

She'd rather believe that
I
was hurting her, not Cooper. How did he do this to us? “I can print another one, you know. If I need to.”

“Why are you doing this to me, Jackie? I
love
him!” Her stance was defiant, her small chest pushed forward.

“No, you don't, Tess. You can't love Cooper Thorne.”

“Why not? Just because he's a little bit older than me?”

“He's more than twice your age!”

“So what? He's a lot older than you too and I saw you making out with him! How do you think that made
me
feel?” Her brave façade collapsed and she was suddenly in tears. “He's the first boy who ever liked me!”

She fell onto her bed and I sat down next to her. “Cooper isn't a
boy
, Tessie. He's a man. And he shouldn't be kissing you, and . . . he shouldn't have been kissing me either. And he won't be, not anymore. You haven't done anything
more
than kiss him, have you?”

She shook her head. “I've only kissed him a few times, but Jackie, he said he really likes me. I'm sorry that you thought he liked you. I never meant to hurt you, but Cooper told me he didn't love you, so I thought—”

“I'm not mad at you, Tess, but you have to listen to me. Cooper doesn't love anybody.”

“How do you know that? It
feels
like love.”

“Because I heard him say it when he didn't think I was listening. He said, ‘
I don't love anybody, and I don't want to love anybody
.'”

I stayed with her until she wore herself out crying. I tucked her in bed under the pink quilt and slipped downstairs, unseen. My wet shoes felt like a punishment as I slogged the rest of the way home.

I leaned against Charlotte's locker, waiting. She spotted me from thirty yards off and didn't look pleased, but I was determined to do this.

“What do
you
want?” she said.

“Char, I'm sorry. I was wrong about Lorna. She's not who I thought she was.”

Charlotte nudged me out of the way and poked through her locker. “Really? Did she club a baby seal to death in front of you? I can't imagine what else would have changed your mind.”

“It turns out she's been lying to everybody about pretty much everything.”

“Is that all? I didn't think that bothered you. I thought
Lorna the Magnificent
could get away with things ordinary mortals couldn't.” She grabbed a few books and slammed the locker door louder than necessary.

“I don't blame you for being mad at me. I know I've been a jerk lately. Or maybe I've been a jerk since the fourth grade.”

“You got that right.” She started to turn away, but I put a hand on her arm.

“Look, I'm really sorry, Charlotte. I want us to be friends again. I'll do anything. What do you want me to do?”

Her reply was immediate. “I want you to
see
me, Jackie.
Me
. The whole, quirky, interesting person. I'm not just some second-rate replacement for Lorna.”

“I know that. I never thought that. I just got confused when Lorna was suddenly
not dead
. I'm
so
sorry. I miss you, Char!”

She stared at the floor. “I don't know, Jackie. I don't know if I trust you anymore. I can't be your friend if you're still
her
friend. And even if you say you aren't, what's to keep you from changing your mind again?”

I plunged my hands into my jeans pockets, searching for an answer that was both true and reassuring. “I don't know. I can't
make
you trust me. And I can't promise you that Lorna's completely out of my life either—I don't hate her, even now. She's screwed up, and if she ever needed my help, I'd probably give it to her. It's possible my life will always be a little tied up with hers—I don't know. But she's not special to me anymore, she's not extraordinary. And she's not my friend—that I
can
promise you.”

Charlotte stared into my eyes as if she might be able to see beneath their surface. “You really hurt me, Jackie. Twice.”

“I know. And I want to make it up to you.
Please
be my friend again.”

“I want to, but—”

“Yes!” I grabbed her hands. “You
want
to. That's all I need to know. After school I'm taking you to Scoops. This is the last week they're open for the season. Hot fudge sundaes—on me.”

“Literally?” Char smiled crookedly. “Because I wouldn't mind seeing chocolate sauce dripping from your hair onto that nice blue T-shirt.”

“Whatever it takes. And while we're stuffing ourselves I'll tell you the latest twist to the story.”

“Do I really want to hear it?”

“I think you will. It involves Cooper Thorne.”

• • •

Charlotte practically choked. “
Tess Rosenberg?
”

The two of us were hiding in the back corner of the almost-empty ice cream shop, but I put a finger to my lips anyway, then handed Char her glass of water.

“She's a baby!” Char said when she could speak again. “Isn't she, like, twelve?”

“Thirteen. But still.”

“And he's the father of Lorna's baby?” she whispered.

I nodded. “I'm telling you all this to prove how much I trust you. I'm not telling anybody else.”

“But shouldn't Finn know? It's not right that he thinks the baby is his.”

“I don't know. I keep changing my mind. It would kill him if he found out Lorna was with Cooper all that time. He adores her. If she's having a baby, he wants to be the father.” I stirred my ice cream into a chilly soup.

Charlotte spooned up a thick mix of chocolate and whipped cream. “Are you sure? It seems like he should have the choice.”

“I'm not sure about anything. But I'm afraid if I tell Finn he'll hate me forever.”

“Should
I
tell him?”

“No!” I yelled. “Promise me you won't. And you can't tell Lucas either.”

“Okay, okay. It's none of my business anyway.” She licked a drip of ice cream from her lip. “But it doesn't seem fair that we know and he doesn't.”

“You're right, but nothing about this is fair. I keep thinking about Lucy too and what's best for her.”

“Who's Lucy?”

“The baby. Isn't it better for her to have Finn for a father than Cooper, who doesn't even want her? Is it fair that crazy Carla is the poor kid's only relative? At least the Rosenbergs will give her a real family. She doesn't deserve to pay the price for this mess. It's not her fault.”