Local Girl Swept Away (28 page)

“But Finn doesn't deserve to pay the price either.”

“He's getting something in return. He's getting what he always wanted: Lorna.”

Charlotte dredged up the last glob of chocolate sauce from the bottom of the glass. “I know what you're thinking.”

“What am I thinking?”

“That Lorna didn't deserve the mess she was born into either.”

I pushed away my melted, half-eaten sundae. “I wonder sometimes what she would have been like with normal parents.”

Charlotte's spoon clanged in her empty glass and she licked her lips. “You know you have to tell Elsie about Cooper and Tess. You can't keep that a secret.”

I looked out the window toward the wharf. The sun was going down earlier and earlier—already it was dusting the rooftops gold. “I know. I just haven't been able to make myself do it. She likes Cooper so much.”

“All the more reason. The guy's evil. I mean, what if he'd gotten
Tess
pregnant?”

Char was right. I didn't have a choice.

“Where would Elsie be this time of day?” she asked. “Her studio?”

“Probably.”

Charlotte pushed back her chair. “Let's go. I'll walk you over.”

• • •

“I hate to bother you,” I said when Elsie opened the door. “Do you have a minute?”

“For you, always,” she said. Which made me feel like the devil coming to stick a pitchfork in her heart. “I'm just cleaning up for the day anyway. Come in and look at my new piece.”

A huge canvas hung on the back wall of the large, sunny studio. I recognized Elsie's signature colors, the blues and greens of Cape Cod. But the composition was much freer than the small, restrained designs she'd become known for. The lines raced across the canvas like giant waves, out of control.

I approached the painting reverently. “This is so . . . powerful.”

“That's how I've felt making it,” she said. “Which scares me a little bit. It's as if I'm starting over, becoming a new person. Or maybe finding the person I used to be.” She smiled and shook her head. “I sound ridiculous. Having so much time all of a sudden is making me giddy.”

Time
. Elsie had time to paint because Cooper had taken over responsibility for the Center. Cooper, who she trusted and admired. I was about to spoil all that.

She took her brushes to the sink in the corner and ran cold water over them. “I've been meaning to tell you—I've gotten the best feedback on your show. You should expect a great review in the
Banner
next week. I wish we could keep it up longer.”

“Uh-huh.” My eyes roamed the studio restlessly. I was twitchy with nerves and didn't know how I was going to begin.

Elsie noticed. “Is something wrong?”

I nodded. “I have to tell you something.”

“Well, just spit it out. It can't be that bad.”

I opened my backpack and took out a second copy of the photograph Tess had ripped up. “Remember the night of my opening you told me to take pictures?”

“Right. You were nervous about having to talk to so many people and I thought the camera would shield you a little.” She dried her hands on her jeans so she could take the photograph from me, but I kept holding it just out of her reach. I wanted her to be prepared.

“Yeah. I didn't get around to looking at them until yesterday afternoon. Some were really dark because I took them looking out through the doorway, and I was curious to see who the people in them were so I zoomed in and played around with the lighting and . . .”

“Well, let me see,” Elsie said, and grabbed for the picture.

I couldn't think of anything to say that would soften the blow. “I'm sorry,” I said, handing her the evidence.

At first she seemed puzzled by the photo, but I could tell the exact moment that the portrait came clear to her. Her breathing seemed to stop and her hand flew to her mouth.

“No, no, no. What is he doing with—” Her hands trembled as she soaked in the image.

“I know you and Cooper are good friends, which makes this so much worse. And I need to tell you that I've been, sort of, seeing him too. Not for that long, and I know now that it was a bad idea, but—”

“
You've
been seeing Cooper,” Elsie repeated, as if trying to understand a difficult concept. “And
Tessie
. . . ? Oh, dear God.” She looked around for a place to sit down and nearly fell onto a nearby stool. “I can't believe this.”

“I went to your house yesterday to talk to Tess as soon as I saw this,” I said. “She was pretty upset, but she said she hadn't actually done much with Cooper, a little kissing is all. And I think she understands now.”

“That's why she was so quiet at dinner last night. I knew something was wrong.” The photograph fluttered to the floor as Elsie's head dropped into her hands. “How could I be so blind? I am an
idiot
!”

“Elsie, it's not your fault. You can't know every single thing that goes on around here. I saw Tess flirting with him once, but it never occurred to me that it was more than that.”

For a long minute, Elsie said nothing. Her body seemed to collapse in on itself. As the bearer of the bad news, I felt terrible. What if she found out about Lorna and Cooper too? She'd be almost as upset as Finn would be if he knew.

I put a hand on her shoulder. “It'll be okay. Tess will get over him—I already have.” There had been so many other shocks to absorb lately, losing Cooper had been little more than a gentle slap.

Elsie looked up. “Thank you, Jackie. Thank you for telling me.” She bent and picked up the picture from the floor. “Do you mind if I keep this?”

“No, but, do you really want to?”

“For a day or two. Then I'll cut it up with scissors and burn it in the fireplace.”

She seemed even more upset than I'd expected her to be. But then, Tess
was
only thirteen. Elsie stood and grabbed her sweater from a hook, the photo still clutched in her hand.

“Would you do me a favor, Jackie? If you could just clean out those brushes for me and lock up the studio—”

“Of course.”

“I need to get home and talk to Rudy. You know where to leave the key.”

“No problem. Go ahead.”

As Elsie stormed out the door, I heard her mumble, “That jackass will not get away with this.”

An emergency meeting of the Jasper Street Art Center Board of Trustees was held at eight o'clock that night, and a decision was made to fire Cooper Thorne immediately. The
Provincetown
Banner
article only said that there had been a disagreement between Cooper and the Board over “administrative issues,” but Elsie told me what had happened. She'd given Cooper an ultimatum: Leave town within twenty-four hours or she would make sure every artist and writer she knew (and she knew lots of them) would find out that he was, in her words, “a sexual predator.” Taking it a step further, Rudy promised to do his best to damage Cooper's reputation even if Cooper disappeared on the spot. And under no circumstances would he be taking a recommendation from the Jasper Street Art Center with him.

I didn't see any reason to speak to Cooper again, but on my way to the Center I saw him packing up his car. I hardly recognized him at first, his posture was so slumped. But when he saw me, he straightened up and glared at me, the usual sparkle in his eyes replaced by glittery anger, then stomped back into his apartment and slammed the door. It hadn't occurred to me that I would have to carry the weight of Cooper thinking I'd betrayed him.

Of course, Cooper was the bad guy here, the one who'd lied to just about everybody, but that wasn't all he was. He was also the person who gave me confidence in myself as an artist, who made me feel my goals weren't impossible achievements for a girl from a family of fishermen, who made me believe I never had to accept second place. He
saw
me—at least I thought he did—and even though it confused me to have a kind thought about the guy now, I had to admit I was a little bit grateful to him.

• • •

A week passed. Elsie returned to work as the Center's director, subdued and unhappy. When I came by after school to see what I could do to help, Rudy was sometimes there too, grumbling a little, but filing papers and stacking boxes, doing what he could. One afternoon he sent Elsie to her studio and sat at the computer himself, trying to make sense of the spreadsheet that kept track of all the applications that came in. Until now, I'd never seen him do much more than pass quickly through the office, or show up at openings to eat the hors d'oeuvres, but these days he was working too. I was glad to see him step up when Elsie needed him. Or, possibly, he just didn't want to stay home alone with Lorna.

I tried to pretend life was getting back to normal, but it still felt as if the earth had tilted on its axis and any of us could fall off at any minute. An unseasonably cold spell hit the first week of October and suddenly the stores were empty and you could drive a car down Commercial Street again. But instead of feeling relieved that the hectic summer was over, I had the feeling I was letting go of Provincetown, one month at a time. September was gone. Would I ever see another one here? Where would I be a year from now?

One Saturday afternoon I was at the town library picking up books for a history paper on the Cold War when I saw Finn sitting alone at a table in the front reading room. Automatically, I started toward him, then stopped, remembering that times had changed and we were not exactly friends anymore. Although not exactly
not
friends either. Still, what did we have to say to each other?

“Jackie!” he called.

Oh, well. I manufactured a smile when he motioned me over. I had to learn how to handle a situation like this. It was a small town, especially in the off-season, and running into Finn was not going to be an uncommon event.

“Good to see you,” he said.

“You too.” Rather than make eye contact, I flipped over the cover of the book in front of him to see what it was.
How to Prepare for the GED Test.

“What's this for?” I asked, as if there was more than one reason to be looking at a book with that title.

“I talked to Ms. Waller yesterday. She says I shouldn't have any trouble passing the GED, but I want to make sure what's on it. Study up a little. Rudy and Elsie are having fits about me not going to college, so I thought I'd read the book here instead of rubbing their noses in it.”

“You're dropping out of school? It's your senior year! What about oceanography?” Suddenly I was so angry—Lorna was ruining
everything
. And then I thought,
I could tell him. It's not too late.

“I'll have time for that college stuff later,” he said. “The baby's due in January. I have to get a job to support my family.”

My family
. The words exploded in my ears, deafening me for a moment, but I didn't flinch. It was already too late. “Your parents will help you, won't they?”

“I don't want them to. It's my responsibility.”

And then our eyes met, and I saw nothing but determination in Finn's. I wondered if he could read my emotions too. Was the sorrow of losing him etched in my eyes?

“What are Elsie and Rudolph saying?” I wanted to hear their objections, which surely carried more weight than mine.

He shrugged. “You know Rudy. He says I'm ‘reckless and foolhardy' and that leaving school is ‘out of the question.' But I'm eighteen—he can't stop me.”

“And your mom?”

Finn hesitated and looked down at his book. “She started crying when I told her, which made me feel terrible. But I'm not sure she was even crying about me. She's been a wreck ever since that whole thing with Cooper Thorne blew up. Have you seen her lately? She's mad at everybody all the time—you can't look at her sideways without getting barked at. And she looks like hell. I mean, normally she wears makeup and earrings just to go to work in her studio, but yesterday she went to the grocery store in
sweatpants
. I didn't even know she
owned
sweatpants.”

“She's disappointed about having to be the director of the Center again,” I said. “And, you know, she liked Cooper. She didn't see this coming.”

“You didn't see it coming either, did you?” Finn said, gently. When I didn't answer, he said, “I should have gone over there and beaten the crap out of him before he left.”

I was so surprised, I laughed. “My hero,” I said, which made him snicker too. The laughter made me feel more at ease, as though we'd recaptured something between us that was almost lost. I sat down in the chair next to him.

“So what kind of job do you think you can get with your mad basketball skills and all?”

“I've already got a part-time job on the wharf, helping unload the boats,” he said proudly. “I'm hoping when I get to know some of the fishermen better, I'll get hired on to go out with them. Fishing.”

I rested my head in the palm of my hand. “You're really serious about this fishing thing?”

“I want to at least try it. See if I can do it. It would make me a real part of Provincetown—like you are—not just some washashore artists' kid.”

I'd never understood why this was so important to Finn, but I knew it was. “I'll talk to my dad. Maybe he knows somebody who's looking to take on a know-nothing rookie.”

He smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

A shadow fell over the two of us. Lorna had crept up without making a sound. Her expanding belly pushed against Finn's shoulder. “What do you appreciate? Besides me?”

Finn stood up immediately and gave her a hug. “Hey, there you are. Jackie's going to talk to her dad about helping me get a job on a boat.”

Lorna turned her fluorescent smile on me. “Great! Thank you, Jackie.” As though the favor was for her too, which I suppose it was.