“Yes, Daddy.” Hannah grabs my hand.
Mr. Moore catches the affection between Hannah and me. “Hannah, it’s rude to ignore the guests who have come to spend time with you. I don’t want Caydon monopolizing your time while they are here. You can catch up with him after the party. I’m sure Caydon would like to sample the buffet anyway.”
The bastard looks at me knowing I would agree to anything just so I can see Hannah happy. “Yeah, Hannah. It’s been a long day. I’ll grab something to eat and hang out at one of the back tables while you say hello to everyone.”
Hannah gets it. At least, I think she does. “Okay, Daddy.”
Sorrow fills her eyes and I’d do anything…anything to make her sadness go away. Hand in hand, we swing our arms back and forth and enter her going away party.
For three hours I watch Hannah mingle with her parent’s friends. Mostly, I’m ignored. Occasionally, a whisper or two is exchanged among the guests about my appearance. I don’t give a fuck because Hannah digs it. I’m only interested in pleasing her. Besides, I never get any complaints from women. Sure, I have more than a few tats here and there. However, I’ve been told on more than one occasion how good looking I am. I laugh to myself thinking how the housewives would be trying to get me in the bathroom for a discreet quickie if their husbands weren’t around. It’s happened on more than one occasion at Hannah’s parent’s parties. I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to talk to.
Finally, the last guest is gone and I’m alone with Hannah. She drops down onto my lap wrapping her arms around my neck. Without saying a word, her lips meet mine, gently caressing me with light kisses. Pulling away, she adjusts the damn strap on her shoulder that keeps falling down. “Thanks for hanging out until this was over.”
Although it was slightly torturous, it wasn’t unbearable. “No sweat, baby.” I kiss her nose.
The way the light is illuminating her long, blonde hair makes her look almost angelic. Even in the darkness of her backyard, I can see her bright blue eyes. “Daddy can be overbearing sometimes.”
“Yeah, well, Daddy is going to have to ease up a little bit when he realizes that I’m not going anywhere,” I warn her.
Hannah playfully slaps my shoulder. “This is hard for him, Caydon. I’m his little girl. I’m going away to school. There’s another man occupying my time. He probably feels like I’m slipping away. Imagine what it would be like if you had a daughter.”
Hannah loves her dad. She has always made that clear to me. I would never stand in the way of the love she has for him. Is too much to ask for the same kind of respect from him? After all, we do have a mutual interest. “I’m sorry, Hannah. I am…really. I just want him to accept me. I want him to know that I love his daughter and would never hurt her.”
She sighs. “He knows this. It’s just going to take some time for him to get used to us.”
I wasn’t nervous about Hannah going away to school before tonight. For some reason, I feel the panic setting in now. “There will be an us. Right?”
I need there to be 'us'.
Hannah kisses me again, sliding her tongue into my mouth. I moan as her tongue dances with mine. Pulling away, she wipes the wetness from the bottom of her lip. “There will always be Hannah and Caydon.”
* * *
“Ouch!” The girl in my chair screams. I think she likes to hear herself. The needle digs into her skin sketching a black heart on the side of her boob. “My parents are so going to kill me.”
I wish she would shut the fuck up. First of all, I take her to be about nineteen years old. I doubt her parents have seen the sides of her boobs in a very long time. Second of all, if she wanted to get caught, she would have chosen a more obvious place to get a tattoo.
I remain quiet because engaging this annoying bitch in a conversation would only allow her to think I give a shit whether or not her parents see the tattoo.
“Hey, you look about my age. Are you?”
Christ, here we go again. Why do they always think that I’m going to be interested just because they let me brand their tits?
“I guess.” Shorty always says I should say more. He thinks my lack of interest is an attractive quality to some chicks.
The needle grates a little harder. I’m hoping the pain consumes her and she loses the focus she has on me. It doesn’t. Fuck. “Well, you look about nineteen or twenty.”
I try Shorty’s approach. Maybe if I talk more, she will get annoyed and leave me the fuck alone. “I’ll be twenty-one in two weeks.”
Instead, her eyes go wide with excitement. “Are you totally going out to get shit-faced or what? Is that, like, your birthday wish?” Shorty peeks up from her friend’s ass cheek. He got the quiet one. Lucky bastard.
I’m a tattoo artist for Shorty’s shop. He’s become one of my best friends. I look up to Shorty. He’s only twenty-six years old but he’s owned his shop since he was nineteen. In the past two and a half years we’ve become very close. Shorty knows what I’m wishing for on my twenty-first birthday.
“Nah. It’s not my thing to get shit-faced. I’m hoping my girl is coming home from school. A quiet night at home with her, is all I want.” It’s the truth.
The question is do I still have a girl?
“Oh, poop. You have a girlfriend. I was really hoping that you were single.” She drops the hand that was covering her other tit. “If it doesn’t work out with your girlfriend, then you can hang out with me.”
Involuntarily, my eyes dart to her other boob. “Am I putting anything on that one?”
Flirtatiously she smiles and glances at her exposed breast. “No.”
As much as I don’t want to admit it, she’s got a banging body. Little Miss ‘Tattoo My Boob’ knows this. Most of the time I can be professional around naked chicks. However, my lack of a sex life is to blame for the thought of me dipping my head down to take the pink bud in my mouth.
Horny bastard.
I quickly shake the thought and focus on the piece of flesh I’m stabbing with my tattoo gun.
Yeah, bitch. Take that for getting me all worked up.
Finally, I’m finished with the little twit. I probably should be nicer to her considering she tips me really well. However, when she promises she’ll be back for more tattoos, I can’t help but roll my eyes.
As Shorty tidies up his area, I can see a smirk on his face. “What?” He can be a smug bitch.
I’d like to wipe that shit eating grin off of his face. “Nothing.”
“Look man, whatever you got to say…say it.” I toss the dyes back into their trays.
A hearty laugh leaves him. “You could have bent her over your chair and violated her twenty different ways, if you wanted.”
I wish I could find it funny except that I’m too annoyed. “Key word. Wanted. I don’t want that.”
Shorty nods and stands up. The guy towers over me. He’s like the fucking Rock. “I’m not the kind of dude that gives a shit what goes on in a dude’s love life. You know that.” Shorty pauses. “Whatever is going on with you and Hannah, man, it’s not good.”
Gritting my teeth, I try to hold back from losing it. I love Shorty. He’s been good to me. But Hannah is my girlfriend and I love her. At least, I think I do. We have the kind of relationship that people just don’t get. Sure…it’s cliché. I’m the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. She’s the rich girl whose dad loves to hate me. Our love has to be real.
Right?
“Shorty, I know you are looking out for me, man. Hannah and I are going to get through this.”
Whatever ‘this’ is.
Hannah has been away at school for two years. She comes home when she can. Lately, her trips home have become less and less. Hannah’s schedule is grueling or so she tells me. In this circumstance, I’d be cool with the infrequent visits except that her phone calls have also become few and far between. When we do finally get to speak to each other our conversations are rushed.
The problem is that Hannah keeps me straight. She always has. When I met her, I stopped doing most of the destructive things in my life. I used to fight a lot. Actually, whenever I got the chance. Since Hannah, my rage has quieted. Sure, I still get annoyed easily. However, I don’t flip out like I used to.
Needless to say, it’s been over four months since I have seen Hannah. That particular visit lasted about fifteen minutes. She had a function with her family to attend and I was working the biker convention downtown. The time before that, it was almost just as short.
Our sexual relationship is non-existent. My hand is getting tired. The last time we fucked was about a year ago. I surprised her by driving to her school on our second anniversary. At first, she was stunned I came to see her. Once she got over the initial shock she pulled me into her dorm room and had her way with me for an hour. Our time was cut short because I had to drive through the night to get back in time for my shift at Shorty’s. Plus, Hannah kind of hinted that she was overloaded with schoolwork so it wouldn’t be a good idea if I stayed.
“If you say so.”
I’m getting fucking pissed. It’s comments like this that make me fucking blow my shit. I have to get it together because Shorty is the only other person in my life, other than Hannah, that keeps me focused.
I take a minute to get my shit together. “Shorty, I need Hannah…you know that. She’s the only one that can keep me from being who I was.”
Shorty laughs. “You’re wrong. You are the only person that can keep you from being who you don’t want to be.” He cracks open the shop’s mini fridge and flings me a beer. “Man, I know that you think that all that glitters is gold. It’s not. Platinum pussy is no better than ordinary pussy. Sure, Hannah is a great girl. I like her. I really do. However, there’s something happening here that is just shady. Look. All I’m saying is don’t put your life on hold for Hannah. She’s got another year or so left of college and then law school. Then what?”
I’ve thought about this.
Where the fuck do I fit in?
I don’t struggle with the thought that I’m good for Hannah. I know I’m good to her. I’m a hard worker. I don’t have an issue with being faithful. And I’m proud of what I have accomplished career wise and personally.
Hannah and I are both driven. We have goals and dreams that, in some ways, are different but the same. She always knew that she wanted to be a lawyer. I always knew that I was an artist. We are both following the path to our dreams. It’s where we fit in to each other’s dream that is somewhat muddled. I think we’ve achieved our goals together and need each other to keep going.
“Don’t know.”
Shorty downs the last few sips of beer from his bottle and grabs another one. He throws me another beer but I have barely touched the first one. “You’re a young guy. Don’t make plans for the future with Hannah just yet.” Shorty chugs the bubbly liquid. “I have an idea. Maria’s cousin moved back to the area a few weeks ago. She doesn’t really know anyone. Maria wants us to take her out because all the girl does is study. Come with us.”
Now, Shorty has me chugging the beer. “I’m not looking to be fixed up, man.”
Shorty shakes his head. “I’m not trying to fix you up. Let’s get the fuck out of here and have some fun.”
Maria and Shorty have been together for a little over a year. I’ve met Maria a handful of times. Each time I see her I have a hard time keeping my nasty, fucked up thoughts to myself. She’s hot as hell…way too hot for Shorty. Her dark, long wavy hair is wild but sexy. Every time she looks at Shorty with her chocolate brown eyes, I get a little envious. Maria loves the guy. I never quite got the connection between the two. Shorty is about five years older than Maria is; a huge meathead with bulging biceps and tats scattered over his flesh. He’s not the type of guy you fuck with. Maria looks like a helpless ant next to him.
I think about Shorty’s offer. I don’t think he is pulling my leg. If he really wants to throw a wrench in my relationship with Hannah, he would have told me to bang the chick that was in my chair a few minutes ago. “Alright. I’ll go as long as it is just for a good time. That’s it.”
A huge smile spreads across the Hulk’s face. “Alright. Making progress. We’ll start out at Dallas’s place. He’s always got something going on. Maybe we’ll try to get in Palermo’s for a drink later. They don’t card after a certain time.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you back here around nine.” I step out in the cool air and head to my Mustang.
* * *
I decide to give Hannah a call. I need to hear her voice. If I just hear a hint in her voice that she misses me, I can get through this night.
I scroll down my contacts in my phone and tap the name Baby. The phone rings and I feel the familiar anxiety rise in my chest. The nervousness I feel should have subsided long ago. Hannah and I should be in a comfortable place at this point in our relationship. We’ve been together since junior year of high school. Instead, I’m just as uneasy as I was the first time I asked her out.
She answers the phone and my hope rises. “Hello?”
The question bothers me. She should know I’m on the other end of the line. My number hasn’t changed.
Why does she sound like she doesn’t know who is calling?
My number should be programmed in her phone. “Hey, baby.”
All of the sudden, her voice becomes softer, like she is whispering. “Caydon?”
I open my car door and slide in. “Who else would it be? Why do you sound like you are whispering?”
I can hear her footsteps and a door closing. “I was in the library on campus.”
“Oh.” I feel like a dick questioning her.
“Caydon, I kind of need to get back to studying. Did you need something?”
Yeah. You
. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Well, that’s sweet.”
“You’re sweet. Sweet enough to eat.” I envision my head between her legs. “Want to know what I’m thinking of now?”
“Caydon,” she warns with a hint of amusement in her voice.
Involuntarily, my cock rises. “I’m thinking of you on your back, and my tongue between your legs.”
Hannah gulps. “Caydon, as much as I like that thought, I can’t do this right now. I’m in a public place.” I’m a little disappointed. I was hoping she would play along for a while giving me something to jerk off to when I get home. Since Hannah doesn’t take the bait, I will have to scour the Internet for porn with a girl who resembles her.