Lorie's Heart (3 page)

“Miss?”

And something about him was just so . . . so . . . or maybe she was just tired.

“Miss?” he repeated.

“Huh?”

“The chicken finger dinner. What's the difference in it and the chicken finger basket?”

She laughed nervously. Thankfully the heat from the day masked the flush she felt creeping into her cheeks. “What are chicken fingers anyway?”

He smiled a little indulgently, and Lorie knew she was embarrassing herself.

“Bread and slaw,” she finally said. “That's the only difference.”

He looked first one way and then the next as if he was about to ask something he wanted no one else to hear. “And how's the slaw?”

“
Appeditilch,
” she said.

“That good, huh?”

She smiled. “I made it myself.”

“Then I guess I'd better go with the dinner.”

She smiled and wrote his order on the notepad where they tracked the food.

“Two of them.”

She couldn't account for the pitch in her stomach. It wasn't like she knew this man. But somehow she felt like she'd taken one lick of an ice-cream cone, then dropped it in the sand. Ridiculous.

“Two finger dinners,” she called over her shoulder to Cora Ann who was scooping the food into white Styrofoam containers. “Would you like drinks?” she asked the handsome
Englischer.

“Two waters,” he said.

“Sixteen dollars, please.”

He took out his wallet and thumbed through the bills, pulling out the correct amount. He handed her the bills and took the containers. “Thanks.”

“Have a
gut
day.”

He smiled at her words, but she knew he wasn't laughing at her. With a quick nod, he disappeared into the crowd.

“He was cute.”

Lorie jumped. “Sadie! You scared half the life out of me.”

Her sister smiled. “I didn't mean to. Maybe if you hadn't been off in dreamland.”

Lorie shook her head. “It's just the heat.”

“Uh-huh.” Sadie gave her a knowing look, then sauntered off to restock the ice in the coolers.

“It is,” she called toward her back, but Lorie knew she wasn't fooling anyone. Not even herself.

 

 

As ridiculous as it was, Zach Calhoun found himself back at the food tents. His mother was at the quilt auction—her reason for coming out to visit the Amish today—and he found time on his hands. The only problem was he found his feet carrying him back to the tent where he'd bought their lunches. He just wanted to catch sight of the brown-eyed girl who had helped him.

He stepped around the stakes and ropes that held the tent in place and shook his head at his fanciful thoughts. Once he found her, then what? It wasn't like he could ask her out. Well, he supposed he
could,
but she'd probably slap his face. Wait. Weren't the Amish pacifists? Okay, so she might not hit him, but she would surely laugh in his face.

Time to get out while the getting was good. He turned to go back the way he came and ran smack into a soft, sweet-smelling form. Instinctively he reached out to steady the girl as something cold trickled between them. Something liquid and filled with ice. And clear. Hopefully water.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“It's
allrecht.
” She pulled away from his grasp.

He knew that voice. He lifted his gaze and met deep brown eyes. “Here,” he said, both glad and remorseful that he had found her. “Let me buy you another drink.”

“It's fine, really.”

“I insist.”

She shook her head, but he persisted.

“It's the least I can do after spilling it all over you.”

“It is only water.”

“Please.” What was wrong with him? Maybe he had been out in the sun too long, but the day was pleasantly cool for mid-May, a perfect day to be out and about.

She hesitated a split second, then nodded her head. He bit back his smile of joy and nodded toward the tent. “Something from here?”

“I'll get it.”

“If I let you get it, how is that me buying you another drink?”

She smiled at him again, and it seemed as if the sun was coming from inside her. Oh, brother. He'd better get himself under control and fast. Any sappier and they could bottle it and pour it over pancakes. “My family owns the restaurant,” she said. “It would be my pleasure to buy you something to drink.”

She disappeared into the back of the tent and came out a few seconds later carrying two to-go cups. “Sweet tea?” she asked, handing him one.

“Perfect.” He took a sip. “Really good. Did you make this, too?”

“My sister Cora Ann did.”

They automatically started walking through the tents. Zach let her lead the way.

“Isn't there a park just a little ways from here?” he asked.

“
Jah,
but—” She bit her lip and stopped.

He took two more steps before he realized she wasn't at his side. He doubled back. “But what?”

The wind stirred the untied strings of the funny little hat she wore. He had noticed since he'd been in Wells Landing that all the Amish women wore one.

She chewed on her bottom lip some more. He was making her uncomfortable. What a jerk he was. She hadn't wanted to come with him, but he had insisted. But only because he wanted to spend a little time with her. All he had done was make her nervous. She wasn't a regular girl like he normally dated. She lived by a different set of rules that had her dressing like a matron and covering her pale blond hair to the point almost none of it showed.

“I'm sorry,” he said, taking a step closer to her and then one back. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It's okay,” she said.

She smelled of lavender and fried chicken. That should have been weird, but somehow it wasn't.

He was working too hard. Yep, that was it. He'd been studying like crazy these last couple of weeks. And studying for his college finals was exactly where he should be at this very moment. But his mom had wanted to buy an Amish quilt for her bed and a wall hanging for the common area at the retirement center where they worked.

“I think I should go.”

“No!” He tempered his voice. “You don't have to. I mean, I don't even know your name.”

“Lorie. Lorie Kauffman.”

“Hi, Lorie, I'm Zach. With an
h.
” Gah! Could he have said anything lamer?

“Nice to meet you, Zach with an
h.
Enjoy the rest of the auction.”

Before he could say another word, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.

 

 

“Do you have something you want to tell me?” Sadie asked that night as they washed the family's supper dishes.

Lorie shot a glance at her sister. She was really too tired for such games. Where Sadie got all the energy was anyone's guess. “About?”

“I saw you walking with that handsome
Englisch bu
this afternoon.”

She shrugged as if it were no big thing and kept on with the task at hand. “It was nothing.” How many times had she said that to herself since she walked away from Zach? She hadn't even found out his last name. It didn't matter. It wasn't like she was ever going to see him again.

“I'm glad,” Sadie continued. “You know how
Mamm
would feel about you talking to a guy like that.”

Lorie bit back an exasperated sigh. “I said it was nothing.”

Sadie raised a brow. “It didn't look that way to me.”

“I'll probably never see him again,” Lorie said. “There's no telling where he lives.” Not to mention he bought two dinners. A boy that good-looking had to have a girlfriend.

What was she thinking? He was
Englisch.
She was Amish. There was no future in that. Plus she had Jonah. As soon as she finished her baptism classes they would be married. Stress was doing weird things to her head. Losing her father, finding out he had secrets he'd kept for years. It was a lot to take in.

“You're vulnerable right now,” Sadie said. “Just be careful, okay?”

“
Jah.
” Lorie wiped her hands on a dishtowel as she and Sadie finished their chore. But being careful wasn't really the issue. She would never see Zach with an
h
again.

The following days were spent working in the restaurant and otherwise learning to live with the questions knocking around inside her head. Every night Lorie prayed for understanding and wisdom. She prayed that it be God's will to have all of her questions answered. She prayed that she was making the right decision in starting baptism classes in the next over district.

But that decision had always been in question. Not that her father or Maddie knew of the secrets she herself had kept. All the paintings in the second-story storeroom. It was vain and arrogant to think that others would want to see the art she had created. But how was she supposed to live with the pictures in her head calling out for a canvas? Not even Jonah knew of the many paintings she had created and carefully hidden in the storeroom. Only Caroline and Emily knew that she painted when no one was looking, then hid her work out of guilt.

The bell on the restaurant door dinged out a warning as Lorie wiped down the plastic-covered menus.

“Hi.” Emily Riehl waved from the door and made her way over to the waitress station where Lorie stood. “Are you getting off soon?”

It was three in the afternoon, the time they worked to catch up from the lunch rush and prepare for the dinner crowd.

“In an hour or so,” Lorie said. Then her shift would be over and she could go home for the day. But she almost wanted to stay. At least at the restaurant the questions that haunted her had to make way for the work she had to accomplish. Still, it was her job to feed her siblings and get them into bed before Maddie came home in the evenings.

Emily glanced from side to side, then dropped her voice to just above a whisper. “I talked to Luke.”

Lorie's heart fell into her stomach at the words. It was what she had been hoping for and dreading all at the same time. “Oh,
jah?
”

“Maybe when you're done here you can come down to the bakery for a while.”

“
Jah.
” She nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. “I'll be there in a bit.”

Just over an hour later she entered Esther's bakery at the end of the block. Esther Lapp had started the bakery after her husband had died and ran it for many years all by herself. Then she had taken Caroline Hostetler under her wing and helped her young friend raise her daughter and get back on her feet. But that was years ago. Now Caroline was married to Andrew Fitch and had a baby boy to add to their growing family. Esther had married Abe Fitch, Andrew's absentminded uncle.

The two women plus Emily were seated in the corner booth, a plate of cookies in front of them. Esther was always trying out new recipes, and Lorie wondered what today's experiment would bring.

“I told Esther,” Caroline said with a small grimace. “I hope you don't mind.”

Lorie slid into the booth next to the woman and tried to smile. She really didn't mind Esther knowing. What she did mind was so many people being involved in her deceit. She didn't want her friends having to carry around her secrets.

But Esther had kept Caroline's secret. She had been alone and pregnant when she arrived in Wells Landing. Everyone had assumed that she was a young widow when the truth of the matter was she was running away from her district carrying the baby of an
Englischer
. Emma's father, Trey Rycroft, had wanted to marry Caroline and give their baby his name, but once he saw how much Andrew loved Caroline, he forever stepped aside. He never came to see his daughter, that had been part of their agreement, but Lorie knew that Caroline took photographs of the child and sent them to Trey on a regular basis.

“It's all set,” Emily said. “Luke will come pick you up on Thursday.”

Caroline reached across the table and covered Lorie's hand with her own. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I have to.”

Esther shook her head. “Some secrets are better left as secrets.”

Wasn't that exactly what the bishop had told Caroline?

“How can I look in the mirror every day and not know the truth?” Her father had been her world. Yes, he had started a new family here after her mother had died, but to Lorie he had been everything. She loved her stepmother and her brother and sisters, but she and her father had a special bond, as if they had been through tragedy and survived. She supposed that the death of her mother would qualify even if she had been really too young to remember much.

“We only want to make certain that you're sure about this,” Emily said. “There's still time to say no.”

“
Nay.
” Lorie shook her head to emphasize her words. “Tell Luke I'll be ready to go on Thursday.”

“Do you have any special plans for today?”
Mamm
asked over breakfast Thursday morning. It was the one day other than Sunday when Lorie was off from the restaurant. And today was a special day off indeed.

Lorie jumped, startled at the words. “
Nay
. . . no, not really. Jonah and I were talking about going fishing.” It wasn't much of a lie. She was going on a fishing expedition of sorts, and she had asked Jonah to go with her, but he wanted no part in her explorations in the
Englisch
world.

“It's just the one time,” she'd told him, but he refused, saying he was taking the day to go fishing with his cousin before the weather turned too hot.

Still she would add the falsehood to her prayer list. The lies seemed to be coming more easily as time went on. The fact shamed her.

“Just make sure you're here when the bus brings Daniel home at four.”

“I asked Sadie if she would be here then.” Her sister could meet the bus and seemed happy to do so. “She said she would,” Lorie added.

Mamm
stopped stirring the big bowl of pancake batter and turned back to Lorie. “Thursday is your day to be here for him and bring him into the restaurant.”

“I know, but this is the only time I can go with Jonah.”

A frown burrowed into
Mamm'
s brow. “I know this has been hard on all of us, but I never thought you'd be the one shirking your responsibilities.”

“I'm not shirking anything.” Lorie wanted to rise to her feet and stamp one in frustration. Never before had she been this upset over nothing. But it wasn't nothing. She was about to find out the truth. Had her father been lying to her—to them all—all these years?

“I can't imagine what else you would call it.”

Lorie slouched back in her seat and stopped cutting the tops off the strawberries. “I just need a little time away, that's all.”

Maddie's voice softened, though her expression remained stern. “We all do.”

Lorie slowly exhaled and started trimming the berries once again. Now all she had to do was get out of the house and in the car with Luke Lambright without any of her family seeing her. Oh, how many lies would she end up telling in order to discover the truth?

 

 

Lorie was shaking by the time she got everyone out of the house.
Mamm,
Sadie, and Melanie headed to the restaurant while Cora Ann went off to school. The bus stopped by shortly after that and picked up Daniel for his day at his special school.

She peered at herself in the mirror above the bathroom sink and tried to tell herself she was doing the right thing. She had to know the truth. She needed to know.
Mamm
might want to forget about it and bury her head in the dirt like the ostriches Lorie had read about in school, but Lorie couldn't let it go. And frankly she found Maddie's attitude confusing. The woman had been married to Henry Kauffman for nearly twenty years, how could she not want to know about the car the police had told them about or the address on the driver's license?

The sound of a car engine floated in through the window. Luke was here.

As if to prove her words, she heard a car door, followed by a knock.

“Coming,” she called, smoothing her hands down her black dress. She had wanted to wear something different, maybe the pale purple one she had worn to Emily and Elam's wedding. But tradition dictated the immediate family should wear black for the year following a loved one's passing. Black dress, black apron, black walking shoes. Was this what she would wear to face her destiny?

She shook her head. She was being overly dramatic. She was only going to one place: the address on her father's driver's license. After that, she would return home and continue her life as normal. Well, as normal as it could be after losing her
vatter.
But it wasn't like this visit was going to change anything. She would still be the same old Lorie no matter what she found out.

She stuck her tongue out at her reflection, but even that didn't ease her nerves. Without another look she whirled on her heel and headed for the door.

Luke Lambright stood on the other side of the threshold. He smiled at her in that carefree way of his and suddenly he reminded her so much of her father that tears sprang into her eyes.

“Lorie, what's wrong?” He stepped into the house, his cane banging against the floor as he took her hands into his own. Living in the
Englisch
world had done that to him, made him less restricted with touches and words.

“Nothing. Just nerves, I guess.”

He nodded. If anyone understood it was Luke. He had left the district a couple of years ago to join the fast-paced world of
Englisch
race-car driving. But a terrible racing accident had left him nearly paralyzed. Lorie didn't know if he would ever drive race cars again, but he still had made a living from the track. He had learned the trade of mechanic as he was taught to walk again. Of course it didn't hurt that his
Englisch
girlfriend, Sissy, was the daughter of one of the sponsors. But Lorie could tell that despite his limitations, Luke was happier in the
Englisch
world than he had ever been among the Amish.

He peered at her closely, then gave another nod. “If you're sure. You don't have to do this, you know.”

“I know,” she said. But she did. Just add that one to her growing list of lies. She had to go into Tulsa and to the address on the license as surely as she needed her next breath. She didn't understand this drive inside her, only that it was there and needed to be assuaged.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

She took a deep breath and attempted a smile. She could tell by the one she received in return that her efforts were lacking. “As I'll ever be,” she said, and started out the door toward Luke's car.

 

 

“Are you sure this is right?” she asked nearly forty minutes later.

Luke stopped the car and turned off the engine. “Pretty sure.” He held out a hand toward her. “Let me look at the license again.”

Lorie handed over the small rectangle of plastic and studied his face as he doubled-checked the addresses.

“Yep. This is it.”

He handed the license back to her. “Now what?”

Lorie stared at the flat-roofed brick building in front of them. “I . . . I don't understand. What is this place?”

“It's an assisted living center.”

She shot him a look.

“The
Englisch
don't take care of their elderly like the Amish do,” he explained. “This place is where old
Englisch
people go when they can no longer live by themselves.”

That sounded outright cruel, but Lorie didn't say so. She had more important things on her mind. “Why would my father use this place as his address?”

Luke shrugged. “Maybe he knows someone who lives here or even works here.”

She didn't know whether to be grateful that the address on the license wasn't a house with a whole other family living inside or shocked that it led to this home for the elderly.

“There's only one way to find out.” Luke nodded his dark head toward the large double doors of the building.

Lorie sucked in a deep, steadying breath, but nothing could slow the pounding of her heart. “Will you go in with me?”

Luke smiled. “You know I will.”

They received a few looks as they entered the facility. Lorie had never felt so self-conscious before. Maybe because Amish folk were all over Wells Landing. But here in Tulsa, her manner of dress was so very different than everyone around her. Most gave her kind smiles while others pinned her with curious stares.

Luke seemed to sense her hesitation and walked toward the large circular desk and the two women seated behind it. One woman was plump and blond and to Lorie looked like some of the grandmothers who came into the restaurant. Though this woman looked very properly
Englisch
with her short-sleeved turtleneck sweater and brown-and-gold scarf.