Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) (8 page)

“I think it’s best if I do it on my own. Your irresistible charm will keep the kids up.” I smiled.

He chuckled and stretched his arms as he stood. Quinn and Alex jumped down and latched on to his legs.

“Bye, Josh,” they said in eerily perfect twin tandem.

He ruffled their blond heads. “I’ll see you again very soon.”

When I finally pried them away from him, I walked him to the door. Before I could say anything, he wrapped me in a hug, holding me longer than he had in the past three weeks combined. I pressed my face to his neck and breathed in his familiar sweet scent.

“Can you come over tomorrow?” he asked as he pulled back.

Happy dancing ensued inside me. It felt so wonderful to be invited. To be
wanted
.

“Yeah, I’m not working, so I can come by in the evening.”

“Be ready to work up a sweat.”

I lifted one eyebrow. “You’re not going to crank up the heater on me, are you? You know my issues with hot yoga.”

He laughed. “I promise I won’t. But… I can’t guarantee it won’t get hot in there.”

He gave me the same delicious smile as earlier, and he lowered his head down to mine, placing the softest of kisses on my lips. My toes curled into the rug.
More, more, more
was all I could think.

“See you tomorrow,” he said.

I watched him walk to his car, and I reluctantly went back inside. Quinn and Alex were jumping on the sofa, but I was too happy to give them a good lecture. Could things finally be getting back to normal? For real?

****

Josh answered my knock on his door, and the first thing I noticed was the lack of a smile. He had his phone to his ear, and he paced into the living room as I shut the door behind me.

“I understand, Mrs. Bates, but I have a set plan for Charlie and—”

I put down my yoga mat and my duffel bag, and I leaned against the kitchen counter to watch Josh. Lines of tension marked his forehead. The relaxed version of him I’d seen the previous night was gone.

“I can’t give you a definite date, but I’m trying my best—”

The conversation with one of his students’ moms was obviously not going well. He couldn’t even finish a sentence without being interrupted.

“I’m sorry you feel you have to do that. Charlie was making great progress with me.”

The call lasted only a minute longer, and Josh tossed the phone onto the couch. “Just lost one of my students. Charlie’s mom doesn’t want to wait until I start teaching again. I guess I can’t blame her. Who knows how long it’ll be before I can freaking remember how to play.”

“Maybe you can talk to her once you’re giving lessons again. Try to get her to switch him back.”

“He probably won’t be the only one I lose. I’m surprised the others haven’t left yet.”

I stayed quiet as I knew nothing I said would help. We’d been doing this same song-and-dance for weeks.

Josh rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask you here to listen to my issues.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. I just want to help you get to a better place.”

He came over and stood in front of me. “You are. And I’m trying to get there. Some days are just better than others.”

I reached up and touched his cheek, and he tugged lightly on the strings of my hoodie.

“I did get some good news today,” he said. “Ronnie said I can bus tables until I can play again, so I won’t have to survive on cereal and ramen noodles.”

“That’s awesome. It’ll be great to have you back there.”

“I think it’ll be good to have something to occupy me. Less time to sit around stressing out about things.”

“And you’ll be back on the ice Tuesday, so you’ll have even less down time.”

He avoided my gaze and said, “Yeah,” sounding nowhere near as excited as I’d thought he’d be.

“We should umm… we should get started.” He pointed his thumb at the TV. He’d already hooked up his laptop to it.

He rolled out his mat in the small space between the TV and the couch, and he pulled his T-shirt over his head. I stopped while flattening my mat.

“I thought we weren’t doing hot yoga,” I said.

“We’re not. I can move better without the shirt.” A hint of a grin curled his lips, and he patted his ripped stomach. “Is this too distracting for you?”

Distracting?
I thought as I happily became visually reacquainted with his chiseled abs. More like,
How I am going to keep my hands off you?

“Not at all,” I said coolly, kicking off my sneakers and removing my hoodie. “Is this distracting for
you
?”

His grin spread to his eyes, which slowly took in my sports bra and fitted yoga pants. Goosebumps prickled the back of my neck.

“I’m good,” he mimicked my cool delivery, but the lingering look he gave me said he totally wasn’t.

I tightened my ponytail and did a few light stretches as Josh pulled up the video online. When the instructor began her warm-up directions, I closed my eyes and focused only on her soothing voice. I could see why Josh liked that particular video. The instructor had the most calming voice I’d ever heard.

For the next hour I was completely in the zen zone, working my body into positions I never expected to feel good. It had been a long time since I’d done yoga, but I’d have to consider adding it to my workout regimen. During a few of the transitions, Josh and I almost touched since we were in such a small space, but I made sure to keep just out of reach. I didn’t want to risk knocking Josh out of his zone. Any physical contact with him and all his hotness would definitely take me out of mine.

As we completed our final cool down position, sitting cross-legged with our hands folded near our hearts, I closed my eyes once again and inhaled the peaceful energy surrounding me. Josh and I continued to sit quietly until I heard him moving next to me. I opened my eyes and found him looking at me with the smile I’d expected at the door.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked.

“Very much. I feel almost… weightless now.”

He stood and offered his hand, and I took it. Standing eye-level to his glistening chest really made me feel like I was floating… on a bubble of desire that was about to burst. But I wasn’t going to make the first move. I had to let him come to me when he was ready. As torturous as it was to wait.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I usually make a smoothie after I finish.”

I was hungry alright.
Starving.
But not for food.

“That sounds good.”

Josh assembled the ingredients for the strawberry banana smoothies, and I took out a knife to slice the fruit. I started cutting, and he loaded the ice cubes into the blender and stole two strawberry slices from me.

“Hey.” I swatted his hand.

He smiled devilishly as he chewed, and he watched me with growing intensity. I quickly went back to cutting to busy my hands. Otherwise, who knew where they would end up.

Josh moved behind me in the tiny kitchen, and I thought he was going to the fridge, but he stopped. So close his body heat mixed with mine. I sliced through a strawberry but froze when Josh’s hand closed around my hip. He squeezed gently and slid his fingers around to my stomach. They grazed my bare skin, and I drew in a breath.

His lips left a hot path from my shoulder to my neck, and I dropped the knife and leaned back into him, needing all the support for my weightless body. He nipped at my earlobe and snaked his arm all the way around my waist.

“I need you,” he said low against my ear.

The bubble exploded.

I whirled around and tackled his mouth with mine, unleashing a month’s worth of frustration and anticipation. His hands framed my face and then combed into my hair, pulling my ponytail loose. I kissed his lips, his neck, his chest… everywhere I could reach. His mouth tasted strawberry sweet, while his skin was salty with sweat.

He pressed me against the fridge, and the cool steel hit my back. But Josh’s lips and hands were all over me, keeping me on fire. He lifted me up, and I locked my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. As he carried me into the bedroom, we dove into another deep kiss, not breaking apart until we fell onto the bed. Josh pushed up on his hands and stared down at me, and I feared he was going to pull away from me again.

But he didn’t.

And for the first time in weeks, everything felt so right and
so
good. Better than good.

Perfect.

****

I slowly opened my eyes and reached out in the darkness, expecting to feel Josh’s warm body beside me, but my hand landed on a vacant pillow. I sat up and saw a faint glow of light shining in the living room. Why hadn’t Josh stayed with me? We hadn’t been that close, that connected in so long. I wanted to hold onto it as hard I could.

I slipped out from under the blanket with a shiver and grabbed one of Josh’s sweaters that was thrown over the chair. It fit me like a dress and was cozy and warm. I padded to the doorway but didn’t go any farther.

Josh sat at his keyboard, wearing headphones and studying the keys. He pressed one and then another and then two at a time, all the while shaking his head. Over and over he tried key after key until he tore the headphones from his ears and bent forward, gripping his head in his hands.

I didn’t hesitate to go to him as I had been doing. I went over to the bench and sat with him, speaking only with a soft kiss on his shoulder.

“I was feeling so good that I thought I might remember.” He stared achingly at the keyboard. “I wanted to surprise you and play for you…”

I put my arm around him and massaged his neck, trying to keep the tension from overtaking him again. He looked up at me, his eyes cloudy with sadness.

“When am I going to be me again?”

I broke apart at the despair in his voice. I had to make him realize how far he’d come already. I’d felt it when I had been in his arms.

“You’re still you.” I placed my hand over his heart. “In here. That’s never changed.”

“Just like tonight you were finally able to show your passion and your love for me, you’ll be able to do that with your music soon… and your skating. I know it.”

He rested his forehead against mine, and I threaded my fingers into his hair, slowly caressing his dark locks.

“Come here,” he whispered.

He pulled me onto his lap, and I straddled his thighs. Our faces were just an inch apart, and his loving gaze sent warm shivers through me. He brushed his thumb across my cheek and along my jaw, and I wound my arms around him.

“I would be so lost without you,” he said, looking deep into my eyes.

I leaned in and kissed him gently at first, then more intently, proving to him the words I was about to speak.

“I’ll always be here.”

Chapter Eight

The loud hum of the Zamboni circling the ice drowned out my training mates’ chit-chat, which was fine with me. Something more important required my attention — Josh lacing up his skates beside me. He’d given only tense smiles to everyone who had welcomed him back for his first on-ice training day. I’d asked him over the weekend if he felt ready to skate again, and he’d said yes but had quickly changed the subject.

I secured the knots on my own laces and pulled my green leg warmers down over them. I’d woken up an hour early that morning, so anxious to skate with Josh again. We wouldn’t be doing any more than simple stroking, but I was so excited just to hold Josh’s hand on the ice. Skating solo the past month had made me feel beyond lonely.

Sergei came down from the lounge with two large cups of coffee, and he handed one to Em. “This is the biggest cup I could find.”

“Thank you, Love.” She turned to Josh and me. “This is my fifth already. I should just hook myself up to a coffee IV.”

“Jet lag from hell?” I asked.

“My body thinks it’s bedtime right now.” She took a long sip of her drink. “Josh, if I fall asleep on the ice, don’t take it personally. I really am so thrilled to have you back today.”

He didn’t look nearly as thrilled. He rose from the bleachers and stood at the boards, watching the Zamboni exit the ice. I went to his side and followed his eyes as they darted around the rink.

“It’s totally understandable if you’re nervous about getting back out there,” I said.

He tapped his hands rhythmically on the boards. “I just need to get started.”

He headed for the ice door and removed his skate guards, but he waited for the other pairs on our session to hop through the door first. I brought up the rear and took off across the ice to warm up. Josh would be doing light stroking on his own to start, so I needed to give him space. Hovering near him would probably just make him jumpier.

I peeked behind me as I rounded the corner. Josh had finally stepped onto the ice. The rest of us were motoring around at high speed, but he was gliding slowly as he hung out near the boards. It was strange to see him so tentative when he usually blew past everyone.

“The Resistance” streamed through the sound system, and I smiled at Em as she turned up the volume. Muse was one of Josh’s favorite bands. I tried to catch his eye, but he had his head down, zoned into the ice.

I picked up my pace and leaned on deeper edges as I went around and around the rink. Josh had started to move a little faster, too, and my heart smiled at the sight of him looking more at ease. I loved watching him skate. He had such a natural connection with the ice.

As I passed him, I reached out and brushed his arm, and he jumped and jerked away. I quickly recoiled, too.

“Sorry,” we both said.

“I didn’t know it was you,” he said, while I spoke at the same time, “I shouldn’t have—”

“I was just concentrating,” he said.

I nodded. “You’re doing great.”

Don’t crowd him. Let him do his thing.

I left him and resumed my warm-up, keeping one eye trained on him. As the minutes ticked by, Josh drifted farther away from the boards, and his posture straightened even more. I moved with added zip in my step as I sensed his confidence was slowly returning.