Lost at School (45 page)

Remain calmly optimistic and relentlessly persistent in the face of all odds.

Transforming school discipline won’t be easy or fast. We humans tend to resist change. Collaborative Problem Solving requires change. We like to be comfortable. New ways of doing things make people uncomfortable. We’re very busy and have competing priorities. Helping challenging kids has to become a priority in each classroom, each school, each school system. Millions of kids are still getting lost. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

The potential wasted, the price paid by so many kids, teachers, parents—all of us—is too massive and tragic to comprehend. The misery, though it can sometimes be hard to recognize, is unmistakable. There are lives in the balance.

The kids are waiting for you. Now it’s your turn.

The Story Continues …

Fast-forward to the end of the school year. It’s been eight months since Dr. Bridgman first met Joey and his mother. Seven months since Mrs.
Franco made her first attempt at Plan B with Travis. Six months since Mr. Middleton started rethinking school discipline and changing his approach with Crystal.

Joey entered Mrs. Woods’ class for his last early-morning meeting with his teacher.

“Hi Joey,” said Mrs. Woods.

“Hi,” said Joey glumly.

“I bet you’re excited that there are only four days left of school,” said Mrs. Woods.

Joey was unenthusiastic. “Um, I guess.”

Mrs. Woods looked carefully at Joey. “What are you doing this summer?”

“Not much,” said Joey.

More silence. “Cat got your tongue?” asked Mrs. Woods, forgetting briefly about how black-and-white Joey could be.

“I don’t own a cat,” said Joey, looking slightly confused.

Mrs. Woods suppressed a smile. “I’m sorry. It’s just an expression. You just seem a little quiet today.”

“Oh,” said Joey.

“So is everything OK?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I’m a little sad today myself.”

“You are?” asked Joey, looking concerned.

“Well, it’s our last meeting together,” said Mrs. Woods, “and I’ve kind of gotten used to seeing you in the morning.”

“Yeah, me too,” said Joey.

“It’s been quite a year,” said Mrs. Woods. “We’ve really made some good strides this year, haven’t we?”

Joey nodded.

“I’ve learned a lot this year,” said Mrs. Woods.

“You have?” Joey seemed surprised to hear that teachers were in need of any additional learning.

“Yes, I have,” said Mrs. Woods. “I’m really glad you were in my class.”

“Me too,” said Joey.

“That’s why I’m a little sad. You’ll be in someone else’s class next year.”

Joey reached into his pocket, pulled out a small pewter object, and handed it to Mrs. Woods. “I got this for you.”

“What’s this?” asked Mrs. Woods.

“A wizard.”

Mrs. Woods examined the object. “Yes, so it is. This is for me?”

“Yes, I got it for you. So you can remember how you helped me.”

“Joey, this is so sweet of you. I’m going to put it right here on my desk.” She fought back tears. “And when I have kids next year who need my help, I’m going to look at that wizard and remember all the hard work we did together.”

Joey seemed pleased.

“Speaking of next year,” said Mrs. Woods, “I was wondering if maybe you could come to my class for a visit every once in a while. Maybe even help me with some of next year’s students. I’ve already asked Mrs. Galvin about it, and she said it would be fine, if you want to, and if it’s OK with your teachers.”

Joey’s face brightened. “That would be good.”

On the afternoon of the last day of school, Mr. Middleton dropped by Mr. Armstrong’s classroom. “Have a good summer, Jerry.”

Mr. Armstrong looked up from his desk. “Yes, you too, Bill.”

“Interesting year, eh?”

Mr. Armstrong smiled. “Very interesting. I take it you’re talking about our discipline working group. And Crystal.”

Mr. Middleton walked into the classroom. “Yes, of course.”

“I think we made some headway.”

“I agree.”

“I mean, it’s not like she never swears anymore. And she did have that fight a few months ago. But I haven’t heard her mention dropping out in a while.”

Mr. Middleton nodded. “We’re not out of the woods with her yet. But I’m glad you were able to hook her up with that summer program. That was a great idea. And she thought it was a good idea, too. Better than having her spend all her time with that crowd she runs with.”

“Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I got the feeling maybe she was starting to trust us a little,” said Mr. Armstrong.

“She didn’t know what to make of us. She’s so sure people are going to abandon ship on her.”

“She’s a tough kid.”

“I don’t think she had much choice.”

“You know, you were right, Bill.”

“Right about what?”

“At one point you told me it didn’t matter what plan we came up with until she started caring again, and until she believed we could give her the kind of help she needed. Well, it’s true. Not that I think we should totally get rid of suspensions and detentions. I still think there’s a place for that stuff for some kids.”

“I know you do. And that’s what we’ll keep sorting out in our working group. I’m glad you decided to help out with that.”

“Me too,” said Mr. Armstrong.

After everyone had left the building, Mrs. Galvin walked through the quiet hallways of the school, simultaneously enjoying the solitude and missing the sounds of kids. The stillness was broken as she passed Dr. Bridgman’s office. Through the crack in the door, she heard him talking loudly on the phone. Then the conversation ended abruptly. She knocked.

“Yeah,” he said curtly.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m intruding,” said Mrs. Galvin, pushing the door open. “I just wanted to say I hope you have a nice summer.”

Dr. Bridgman turned toward the door, a little embarrassed. “Oh, Mrs. Galvin, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you. Please, sit down.” He hastily removed a stack of files from a chair.

“Everything OK?” asked Mrs. Galvin.

“Not exactly.”

“What’s wrong?”

Dr. Bridgman made no effort to hide his annoyance. “It was your fellow principal over at East School.”

“Ah, Dr. Sanders. She’s giving you a hard time?”

“Suffice to say that she hasn’t been quite as receptive to my ideas as you have. And it’s really hurting a lot of kids at that school. I was hoping to get some Collaborative Problem Solving training going at East School next year—nothing mandatory, just for people who are interested—and she nixed the idea. Says her teachers have enough on their plates as it is. They don’t have
time
for Collaborative Problem Solving. She just doesn’t get it.”

“You know, I didn’t get it so fast myself,” said Mrs. Galvin.

“Yeah, but at least you had an open mind. She just won’t do what she needs to do.”

Mrs. Galvin looked carefully at her school psychologist. Then she chuckled, saying, “Well, I’ll be.”

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that I never thought I’d see the day.”

“What day?”

“The day
I
helped
you
do Plan B,” said Mrs. Galvin.

“I don’t get it,” said Dr. Bridgman.

“From the sounds of it, you need my help doing Plan B with Dr. Sanders.”

“She doesn’t do Plan B. She’s a closed-minded, shortsighted—”

Mrs. Galvin’s laughter interrupted Dr. Bridgman’s rant before it gathered momentum. “Dr. Bridgman, is it safe for me to assume that you have legitimate concerns about what’s being done with challenging students over at the East School?”

“Yes, there are so many kids they could be helping …”

“And have you put those concerns on the table?”

Dr. Bridgman considered the question. “Well, yes, I mean, I think so.”

“Because it sounds to me like you have a
solution
on the table right now, not a
concern,
” observed Mrs. Galvin. “And tell me, is it also safe to assume that Dr. Sanders has legitimate concerns of her own?”

“I wouldn’t know,” groused Dr. Bridgman.

“Well, of course she does. You know the kind of time pressures we operate under and how many new initiatives are always coming down the pike. We all have more on our plates than we can handle.”

“Yeah, but Collaborative Problem Solving would save them time!”

“Yes, I understand that she doesn’t quite appreciate that yet. But what we have here is a classic case of dueling solutions. Classic.”

Dr. Bridgman said nothing. Then a sheepish smile slowly spread across his face. “So the Plan B guy got caught doing Plan A.”

“The Plan B guy is human,” said Mrs. Galvin. “And has very good intentions. But, and I’ve learned this the hard way, it seems we all head for Plan A when we’re under duress.”

“And you think it’s possible to do Plan B with that … that …”

“Dr. Sanders,” supplied Mrs. Galvin. “Yes, I do. She’s not easy to deal
with. But I’ve known her for a long time. She has a heart. If you want, I can call her tomorrow. I’ve already told her a little about what we’ve been doing with our challenging kids. Maybe she needs some of the details. Maybe she has some concerns I don’t know about. Then we’ll set up a meeting. Me, you, and her. And we’ll do some Collaborative Problem Solving.”

Dr. Bridgman couldn’t quite hide his amazement. “You really know how to do it now.”

“You’ve had quite an impact on us, Dr. Bridgman. But we’re not over the hump yet. We still have a lot of teachers in this school who aren’t very good at Plan B. And I’ve been trying to set up a meeting with the superintendent to talk about integrating Collaborative Problem Solving into the disciplinary policies for the entire district. You game?”

Dr. Bridgman’s eyes widened. “I’m game.”

Mrs. Galvin began getting out of her chair. “So are you staying here all night?”

“A few minutes ago, I wasn’t sure what I was doing,” admitted Dr. Bridgman.

“Come on,” said Mrs. Galvin. “I hear next year’s incoming class is completely out of control. We’ve got a lot of hard work ahead. And I’m not doing it all by myself.”

Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (Rev. 12/5/08)

Child’s Name_____________________________________ Date ________________

LAGGING SKILLS

        ____Difficulty handling transitions, shifting from one mind-set or task to another

        ____Difficulty doing things in a logical sequence or prescribed order

        ____Difficulty persisting on challenging or tedious tasks

        ____Poor sense of time

        ____Difficulty reflecting on multiple thoughts or ideas simultaneously

        ____Difficulty maintaining focus

        ____Difficulty considering the likely outcomes or consequences of actions (impulsive)

        ____Difficulty considering a range of solutions to a problem

        ____Difficulty expressing concerns, needs, or thoughts in words

        ____Difficulty understanding what is being said

        ____Difficulty managing emotional response to frustration so as to think rationally

        ____Chronic irritability and/or anxiety significantly impede capacity for problem-solving or heighten frustration

        ____Difficulty seeing the “grays”/concrete, literal, black-and-white thinking

        ____Difficulty deviating from rules, routine

        ____Difficulty handling unpredictability, ambiguity, uncertainty, novelty

        ____Difficulty shifting from original idea, plan, or solution

        ____Difficulty taking into account situational factors that would suggest the need to adjust a plan of action

        ____Inflexible, inaccurate interpretations/cognitive distortions or biases (e.g., “Everyone’s out to get me,” “Nobody likes me,” “You always blame me,” “It’s not fair,” “I’m stupid”)

        ____Difficulty attending to and/or accurately interpreting social cues/poor perception of social nuances

        ____Difficulty starting conversations, entering groups, connecting with people/lacks other basic social skills

        ____Difficulty seeking attention in appropriate ways

        ____Difficulty appreciating how his/her behavior is affecting other people

        ____Difficulty empathizing with others, appreciating another person’s perspective or point of view

        ____Difficulty appreciating how s/he is coming across or being perceived by others

UNSOLVED PROBLEMS

HOME

        ____Waking up/getting out of bed in the morning

        ____Completing morning routine/getting ready for school

        ____Sensory hypersensitivities

        ____Starting or completing homework or a particular academic task

        ____Food quantities/choices/preferences/timing

        ____Time spent in front of a screen (TV, video games, computer)

        ____Going to/getting ready for bed at night

        ____Boredom

        ____Sibling interactions

        ____Cleaning room/completing household chores

        ____Taking medicine

        ____Riding in car/wearing seat belt

SCHOOL

        ____Shifting from one specific task to another (specify)

        ____Getting started on/completing class assignment (specify)

        ____Interactions with a particular classmate/teacher (specify)

        ____Behavior in hallway/at recess/in cafeteria/on school bus/waiting in line (specify)