Lost World (18 page)

I do the math in my head and realize she’s counting Jon and Hadley. Hopefully, she’s right.

“We got three kids and one pregnant woman,” Axl says.

Two, if Parvarti’s right and Hadley shows up, but Axl doesn’t know that. I’m not sure if I’m going to tell him.

Brady nods and takes another drink of his coffee. “So they’re in Millersville? Why were you there on foot?”

“We lost our only car. We got us a truck, but it ran outta gas. We’re gonna need a car first off, then fuel to fill up the truck. Then we can get our people and head back this way.”

“That’s not a problem. I have fuel and cars. If everything goes well, it shouldn’t take more than an hour to get to Millersville, get your friends, and make it back here.” Brady’s mouth twists into an ironic smile. “We all know how likely that is, though.”

“Which is why we gotta wait ‘til mornin’,” Axl says. “Don’t wanna run out there when it’s dark.”

“We can head out first thing in the morning, then. In the meantime, you all can sleep in warm beds. I have three bedrooms. Not sure how the sleeping arrangements are.” Brady looks back and forth between Parvarti and Angus, frowning like he’s trying to figure out if they fit together or not.

“Rambo can have the bed.” Angus nods his head toward Parvarti. “I wanna sleep on the couch. Keep watch.”

“No need to keep watch,” Brady says. “No zombies have gotten through that fence. I doubt they could.”

“It ain’t the zombies I’m keepin’ watch for,” Angus snaps.

Brady sets his mug down and gives Angus a confused look. “I’m sorry? Who are you looking for if not zombies?”

I can’t believe he hasn’t considered that someone passing by might decide they want this place. “People,” I say slowly, hoping it will sink in.

“You got a good thing here, an’ people are gonna decide they want it.” Axl leans across the table, closer to Brady. “A safe place is hard to come by, an’ here you got fences and houses. Even a generator. Anybody shady passes this place, an’ you could be in trouble. It’s somethin’ we gotta plan for.”

Brady exhales and sits back, his eyes wide. “I hadn’t thought of that, but I should have. What do you suggest?”

“Them fences are good, but we’d do better to put some barbed wire at the tops. Like they got in prisons.” Angus rubs his chin as he thinks, not glaring at Brady for the first time since we set foot in the house. “We gotta set up an emergency plan. Don’t wanna be caught with our pants ‘round our ankles like back in the shelter.”

“Shelter?” Brady asks.

“We had a good place when all this first started,” I say. “An underground fallout shelter in the Mojave Desert. It’s a long story that I really don’t want to get into right now, but basically some very evil men decided we didn’t deserve to live. They let zombies in, killed some of our people. Set fire on the lower level. It was bad.”

Brady lets out a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “There are so many things I never thought about. I was focused on food and water, zombies. Not on people. I guess it’s a good thing I ran into you.”

“I ain’t gonna lie,” Axl says. “I doubt we’ll make it through winter without trouble.”

Brady exhales, and silence falls over the group. He seems to be thinking it all through. Maybe going over worst case scenarios. I hope he is, because we’re going to need him to be on board with all this if we want to survive.

The silence stretches out, and I before I know it I feel a yawn creeping up on me. I can’t hold it in, and even though I cover my mouth when it stretches wide, the gesture is catching. Parvarti yawns next, extending her arms above her head as she does it. Then Angus and Axl.

Brady is last, and he hops out of his chair before the yawn has even run its course. The second he’s done he says, “On that note, I think I’m going to show you to your rooms, then turn in. I had an exhausting day, and I’m sure you’d all like to get clean. I’ll keep the generator on for twenty more minutes so you have a chance to shower, but then you’ll have to rely on blankets to keep you warm.”

Brady turns to the living room, motioning for us to follow him, and I get to my feet at the same time Parvarti does. Axl stands too, but Angus doesn’t move.

“Gonna drink me some more coffee, then check out that couch.”

I head after Brady but stop in front of the fireplace in the little study off the kitchen. Staring up at the picture over the mantel. Brady is dressed in a gray tux, and the smiling woman at his side is wearing a white wedding dress. She’s pretty. Blonde, with hair piled on top of her head, and blue eyes. But she isn’t a dwarf.

“Kristine, my wife,” Brady says from behind me. He comes over to stand at my side, but doesn’t take his eyes off the picture. “She died fast. One day she was fine and we were talking about how the virus might just pass us by, then she woke with a fever. By the next morning she was gone. I sat by her bed for almost an entire day, trying to decide what to do with myself. By the time I decided to bury her and got the hole dug, she’d come back.”

“What did you do with her?” Parvarti asks, making me jump. I didn’t even know she was behind me.

“I put a bullet in her head, then buried her. I buried them all.”

I turn to face Brady, who’s still staring up at the picture of his wife. “What do you mean? Everyone who lived in this neighborhood?”

He rips his eyes away from the mantel, and they meet mine. “Yes. I told you I cleared the houses out. I couldn’t just leave the bodies. These were people. My neighbors. They deserved more respect than that. I started a cemetery on the east side, next to the fence. It gave me something to do. Something to focus on. Digging holes, then dragging bodies out of houses. A neighbor from down the street had one of those big lawnmowers with a trailer, and I used that to move the bodies to the graves. I even made markers for them. For the people whose names I knew, anyway.”

“That must have taken you a long time.” And more compassion than most people would have shown even before this all started.

“A little more than a week, working from sunup to sundown. It was a good outlet for my grief.”

He lets out a deep breath, then turns away from the picture of his wife. “Let me get you something to change into, then you can see about that shower.”

I close my eyes and lift my head, letting the warm water flow over my face like it has the ability to wash away all the painful memories. Brady will be turning the generator off soon, but I can’t force myself to get out. I feel like it’s the first time I’ve been really warm and clean in weeks, and I want to soak up as much of it as possible.

Axl, whose own shower was record fast, knocks against the glass. “Better get a move on if you wanna be able to see when you get dressed.”

He’s right.

I let out a deep sigh as I flick the shower off, then wrap a towel around my wet hair, inhaling the fresh scent of fabric softener. For a split second, life feels normal. Then I step out and face my reflection, and everything comes screaming back. I’m so thin my ribs poke through my skin, and the breasts I spent so much money on look freakishly big. Almost clownish. My hair has grown out, leaving behind roots that have to be two inches long. But it’s my eyes that really shock me. It’s like staring at a stranger. The terror and pain and confusion in them is startling compared to what was there before. I thought I’d faced the worst when I left California the first time. A mom who ran out on me and a dad who hit me just so he could make himself feel bigger. Now those things feel like comparing a paper cut to a limb being ripped off.

The lights flick off, and my reflection disappears. Part of me is glad, but another part of me is terrified by what I’ll find the next time I see myself. I feel like the old me is slowly wasting away, and the uncertainty of what will be left behind is so overwhelming it takes my breath away.

I fumble in the darkness, drying myself off, then getting dressed. When I go out into the other room, Axl is already curled up in bed. There’s a candle on the bedside table, but it doesn’t give off much light. It flickers across the dark room, creating shadows that are long and scary. Things that nightmares are made of.

Axl pulls the covers back and I climb in next to him, pulling myself close. The king-size bed is soft and warm, and the sheets smell just like the towel. So fresh and inviting it makes my chest ache.

“This is something I could get used to,” I whisper, resting my head on his firm chest.

Axl’s hand moves over my head, brushing my wet hair back out of my face. “Don’t wanna get too relaxed.”

“I know. It would be stupid to think that just because we have a roof over our heads, life will be easy now. But we can pretend. For tonight.”

I run my hands up his stomach, to his chest. Over the scar on his shoulder. When I reach his face, I pull myself up until my lips find his. He opens his mouth, and his tongue slides over mine. His hands move up my back, under the shirt Brady gave me to sleep in.

“Can we make this place work?” I say against his lips.

“We’re gonna try.”

He pushes his tongue deeper into my mouth, then pulls me closer. We kiss until I’m gasping for air, until the room feels like a sauna and our skin is moist with sweat. My mind buzzes from his nearness and the simple luxury of being in a real bed with him. Of facing the possibility of having a home and living in relative safety. Of starting something together that has more permanence than what we’ve been living the last few weeks.

“I love you,” I say against his mouth.

He pulls my shirt over my head and rolls me onto my back. “I love you.”

Then his mouth is back on mine and he moves his hands down my body, over my breasts and stomach. He pulls my underwear down, and I shimmy out of them. They get lost somewhere in the sheets, but I don’t care, because all I can focus on is getting his boxers off.

I pull him closer until he’s on top of me, and he eases between my legs. “You’re takin’ them pills?” he whispers.

It’s become part of our ritual, something he always asks me before we have sex. It’s never made me hesitate before. I always answer, then get right down to business. This time, however, it makes me freeze under him.

He pulls back, and his eyes meet mine. “What?”

“Shit.” I turn my head away and close my eyes.

“Vivian?”

“I have. I just—” The words get lost, and I roll out from under him. Pulling the blanket up to my chin. I’m shivering all over again.

Axl scoots up next to me and turns my head toward his. His eyes searching mine for answers. “What is it?”

“Hadley,” I whisper. “She’s pregnant.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

We lapse into silence, and all I can think about is Hadley. Whether or not she’s okay. Where she might be and if we’ll ever see her again. What she’ll do about the baby if she makes it back to us. What she’ll do about it if she doesn’t.

“Do you think she’s okay?” I say, staring into a dark corner of the room like I’m waiting for a monster to appear.

“I told you, I’d bet money on Hadley.”

“Money’s useless now.”

“Then I’d bet ammo. Fuel. Somethin’ like that. She’s a survivor.”

Axl pulls me against him, cradling me in his arms until I feel like I don’t have anything to worry about. Like there’s no danger in the world and no one will ever try to come and take this moment from us. It isn’t true, but I do my best to pretend it is.

“What would we do?” I whisper against his chest. “If I were to get pregnant.”

He lets out a long sigh, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Condoms and birth control pills aside, it’s always a possibility, and we know that. We’ve always known. But we’ve never talked about it. I never even let myself consider the possibility before I found that test. Now, it seems to be on my mind all the time.

“I know the world’s a mess an’ there ain’t a whole lot to hope for these days, but I wouldn’t be sorry. It’d be our baby. I love you, an’ havin’ a family with you couldn’t be a bad thing.”

“Wouldn’t you be scared?”

“Only of losin’ you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and move my face up until we’re kissing again. It only takes a few seconds until we’re right back where we were, and this time I don’t stop him.

14

WHEN I OPEN MY EYES, the room is still cloaked in shadows. Light streams in through holes in the blinds, but it’s faint and golden-tinted. As usual, Axl is already gone. The once warm sheets now feel like ice, and the room is so cold I can see my breath when I exhale. When I crawl out of bed, I have to scurry for my clothes because I’m shivering within five seconds of my feet touching the floor.

I step out into the hall, and my stomach growls. The greasy scent of bacon drifts through the house, faint but still welcoming, and suddenly I feel like I’m facing a long-lost friend. The smell has to be my imagination, though. No way we got lucky enough to find a walled-in neighborhood
and
bacon.

In the kitchen, I find Brady standing on a stool, cooking eggs over a propane camp stove. The eggs are real, not the powdered ones we’ve been living on for the past few weeks. My stomach rumbles and my mouth fills with saliva, and I have to fight the urge to lick my lips. I never thought we’d have the luxury of scrambled eggs again.

“Where did you get eggs?” I ask, my feet moving closer to the heavenly smell on their own.

Brady looks up from the frying pan and smiles. “I had the good fortune of coming across some chickens a week ago. Had a hell of a time catching them, but it was worth it. I turned them loose in the neighbor’s garage. Figured they wouldn’t need it anymore.”

“I could kiss you,” I reply, returning his smile.

Brady’s grin grows wider as he turns back to the skillet, not saying anything.

“Them chickens is a good start,” Axl says, crossing the room with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He kisses me on the cheek, and I lean against him. I’m having a very
Leave It to Beaver
moment that does not fit with this reality at all.

“Be good to find some other animals too,” Angus practically yells from across the kitchen where he sits at the small dining table. “Cow would be good, or even a goat. Give us some milk.”

“I know of a few farms that aren’t too far from here,” Brady says. “Who knows what’s left, though. Even if there are still living animals, we’ll have to worry about getting them here. I had enough trouble with the chickens, I can’t imagine trying to wrangle goats.”

“You just let the grownups worry ‘bout that,” Angus mutters.

I roll my eyes as I pull away from Axl. I need coffee. “Parvarti still asleep?” I ask, looking around while pouring myself a cup from the waiting carafe.

“Rambo’s out shootin’,” Angus says. “Said to get her when we’re ready to go. She don’t want no breakfast, I guess.”

Brady turns the propane off and picks up the skillet, then skillfully climbs down from the stool. He divides the eggs evenly between four plates, right beside the two slices of bacon already laid out. It’s the pre-cooked kind, but I’m glad to have it. I’m thankful for anything we can get at this point.

“Dig in,” Brady says, waving his hand toward the eggs.

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

When I take the first bite, I swear my knees almost give out. “I think this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Brady says, beaming at me from behind his own fork.

For about thirty seconds, the room is filled with nothing but the smell of food and the sounds of chewing, but it doesn’t last. As much as I’d love to relax and enjoy my food, we need to get down to business, and Axl isn’t going to let us forget.

“I wanna head out soon.”

“I’m assuming you’ll want a big vehicle?” Brady asks. “An SUV?”

“If you got it.” Axl chews slowly like he’s savoring it. I, on the other hand, am shoveling it in.

Brady nods, then shoves one final forkful of food into his mouth, chewing as he stacks the dirty dishes neatly in the sink. Once he’s swallowed, he says, “I have one that’s all gassed up.”

“Why the hell were you out on foot if you got a car?” Angus asks.

“Because I am more discreet and draw less attention when I’m on foot, and this area’s been quiet. I wanted to save the gas for winter. Hiking through snow isn’t my idea of a good time.” Brady rolls his eyes like all of this is obvious and Angus is a moron for not thinking of it.

Angus grunts and pushes the chair away from the table. “Let’s get a move on.”

We get a different view of the area on our way back to Millersville, but there still isn’t much around. Brady’s neighborhood seems to be the last one for miles. We pass a few houses set far back from the road and surrounded by lots of land, and a nursery that is now overrun with weeds, but mostly just empty fields. Everything is covered in a thin layer of snow. Less than an inch, but enough to let us know winter will be in full swing before we know it. We need to get settled, and soon.

What took us all day the first time takes less than fifteen minutes in the car. We roll into Millersville from the opposite direction than we did the first time, meaning we’re going to have to drive through it to get the Sam’s truck. Only the town looks a hell of a lot different than it did when we left—and it’s not just the snow.

Now, there are zombies everywhere.

“Shit,” Axl mutters, slowing the SUV to a stop and wringing the steering wheel as we all stare out at the mass of dead in front of us. “Them bastards weren’t here when we left.”

“They’ve been moving in groups,” Brady says from the backseat.

We’re about a block from the post office, and the street is so packed full of bodies that it’s going to be tough for us to get through in the SUV, let alone get everyone out of the post office. And we still have to get the Sam’s truck.

Axl swears when the zombies notice us and head our way, staggering through the snow. It may be my imagination, but they seem to be slower than before. Maybe we were right to come up here after all. Maybe the cold will help slow them down. Kill them even.

A girl can dream.

“There’s a hell of a lot of ‘em,” Axl mutters.

“‘Hell is empty and all the devils are here,’” Brady mumbles.

I twist my whole body around until I’m facing Brady. Angus is staring at the man like he’s lost his mind, and Parvarti—who sits in the middle—has a similar expression on her face. It’s the most emotion she’s shown in a while, but I can’t blame her. I have no clue where the hell that came from.

Brady’s eyes meet mine and he shrugs. “Shakespeare. Maybe something more upbeat would be better? ‘The path to paradise begins in hell.’” I blink and he shrugs again, then looks away. “I was a professor of literature for fifteen years. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Unless you got a quote that’ll kill us some zombies, shut the fuck up,” Angus mutters.

“Both of you shut up,” Axl snaps. “I’m gonna drive through. We gotta get the Sam’s truck first anyways, so we might as well just go. Then we’re gonna hafta come up with a plan.”

He hits the gas before any of us can respond, and I turn back to face the front just as the SUV slams into the zombies blocking our way. The things go flying, knocking down some behind them. There are more, though. There are always more. Axl doesn’t ease off the gas, and I bounce in my seat as we roll over the bodies. Luckily, by the time we reach the other side of town the horde has thinned out. They run after us, but Axl is driving too fast for them. They’ll never be able to catch up. Not that it will help us later. We’re going to have to come back to get everyone, and then we’re going to be in trouble.

We find the Sam’s truck right where we left it, and Axl pulls to a stop behind it. No one has said a word since we left town. If they’re half as freaked out by the mass of bodies we just rolled through as I am, they probably don’t know what to say at this point.

“Let’s get her gassed up,” Angus says after a few seconds of silence, throwing the back door open. “Then we can get a plan together.”

Axl and Angus get busy lugging gas cans out of the back of the SUV while Parvarti and I keep watch. Just to make sure none of the zombies followed us out of town. It doesn’t take the men long, and in no time the truck is gassed up and ready to go. Then we all just kind of stand around, staring at each other. Waiting for someone to come up with an idea that won’t get one of us killed.

“We’re going to have to try and lead them away in the SUV,” Parvarti says quietly, her voice as emotionless as always. “It’s the only way.”

“Okay, but everyone in the post office needs to be ready for us,” I point out. “It’s not like we’re going to have a lot of time or anything. We need them to be at the door waiting when we pull that truck up, which means someone is going to have to go there on foot and let them know we’re on the way.”             

No one talks as we let that sink in.

Angus spits, then takes a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”

He starts to move, but Axl grabs his arm. “Hell, no. There’s gotta be another way.”

“There ain’t an’ you know it.” Angus jerks his arm out of his brother’s grasp, then spits again. Looking us all over. “Who else is gonna do it? You gotta drive that truck an’ I know you ain’t gonna let Blondie outta your sight. Rambo is good with her bow, but that ain’t gonna do nobody no good up close. Then we’ve got this guy over here, who probably couldn’t outrun a snail with them little legs. It’s me or nothin’.”

Brady’s face scrunches up and I can sense a fight coming on, so I step between the two men. “Angus is right. I don’t have a problem being the one to do it, but we all know how that’s going to end. He really is our only option.” I glance toward Brady. “Sorry.”

He holds his hand up and steps back. “No need to apologize.”

Axl stares at the ground for a few seconds, then swears. When he looks up, his mouth is turned down so much the little scar on his chin is puckered up. “There ain’t another way?”

“There ain’t.” Angus heads for the back of the truck, and this time Axl doesn’t stop him. “I’m gonna need every long sleeve shirt we can find. And gloves. I wanna make sure them bastards can’t sink their teeth into me.”

Angus pulls himself inside, and Axl goes over to help. I lean against the truck and let out a sigh. Eventually I’ll get used to having to jump through hoops for everything we do. Right?

“Don’t look so worried,” Brady says. “If we’re lucky they’ll take one sniff and think he’s one of them.”

I snort and turn my head so I’m facing him, but I have to look down. It still amazes me how strong this man is. He should have been one of the first few people out. “Sorry Angus is such an ass. If it makes you feel any better, he’s an ass to pretty much everyone.”