Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 06 (12 page)

Jools said, “Yes, I suppose it is. Like on
Saturday, I don't know if he is going to the gig with me or whether he will turn up there and be with me or…”

Jas said, “I wouldn't stand for that. I need to know where I am.”

I said, “You're here, Jas.”

And I gave her my bestest smile. She didn't smile back. But she did say quite nastily, “And who will you be seeing at the gig, Georgia? Or will you be just having a LAUGH, if you know what I mean and I think you do.”

Oh, God, she is playing dirty now, with this Dave the Laugh thing. She knows that I still haven't told Ellen anything about me and Dave.

school gates
4:05 p.m.

We were all ambling out of the playground when I saw him. Masimo on his scooter. Parked outside the school gates!!! Ohmygiddygods pajamas! I couldn't believe it was him. But it was! He is absolutely gorgey. He has a tan as well. His hair is so black and wavy and he's got long legs and a fit body and everything. He was just sitting on his scooter with his helmet in his lap and leaning back
on one arm. He had shades on.

He is sooooo sexy. You could feel like a beam of sexicosity coming off him. What was he doing here? Was he waiting for me? The ace gang were doing their marvelous impression of walking goldfish.

Rosie said, “My God, he is fit.”

Jools said, “Blimey. Did you know he was going to be here?”

Jas said, “He's brown, isn't he. He's browner than you.”

I couldn't speak. All the girls streaming out of the gates were looking at him and doing that silly flicky-hair thing and smiling. Shut up smiling, you smiling minxes. I didn't know what to do. Should I just walk casually by him and
ignorez-vous
him, carrying on with my Mystery Woman scenario? Or should I be friendly and nice and smiley? Oh, I don't know.

I dithered around and made the ace gang walk really really slowly.

Had I got enough lippy on?

Was I wearing clothes?

I was just saying, “Oh my God, ohmygod. What shall I do???” when I was saved from any decision
making because Lindsay appeared at the gates. She wasn't wearing her uniform. She had a short white suit on and a head scarf. She went straight up to Masimo, doing a sort of ridiculous little run thing, and kissed him on the cheek!

He was smiling at her. And they were chatting. God, he has a nice smile. He has a really generous, big mouth, not like Mark Big Gob, just normal big. I couldn't help looking and watching like a sort of horror film. Even Jas stopped
ignorez-vous
ing me and linked arms with me because she knew how horrible it was.

We were very near to the gate now and I couldn't avoid going through it and passing by Masimo. The gang sort of shielded me and I kept my head down, but I still saw Lindsay putting on the spare helmet. It was awful. I was so miserable and trudged off with the gang. I heard the scooter rev up and roar off behind me.

Rosie said, “That was a bit intense.”

Everyone was really nice to me. Which sort of made it worse. They kept saying, “Are you alright?” “Do you want some chuddie?”

But nothing helped.

4:30 p.m.

After they had all peeled off home it was just me and Jas.

She said, “Blimey O'Reilly, that is a turn up for
le livre
.”

I said, “I must be jinxed in love. What have I done in a past life to deserve this?”

Jas said, “Perhaps you were, you know, like a wasp or something.”

“A wasp?”

Jas is what is known in the business as an unhelp. But she can't help being a tiny dim pal. At least she is not me, though.

As she went off into her house she gave me a little squeeze on the arm and said, “I don't care what anyone else says about you—I like you.”

I MUSTN'T cry, I must not cry until I get into my bedroom.

5:00 p.m.

Tosser Thompson and his mates passed me and said something, but I don't know what. I felt like a ghost in the world.

I got to my gate and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. No one would be home yet
so at least I could get into bed and just wail.

What a hopeless fool I was.

I had even phoned up people with the same name as him in Manhattan.

One of them was a Chinese takeaway.

That is how pathetic I am.

5:20 p.m.

I was opening the gate when I heard the roar of a scooter coming up my road. I didn't turn around. Even if Dad has got an even more embarrassing vehicle than the clown car, nothing mattered anymore.

But then the scooter stopped behind me. And he spoke. Him. In person. Himself. Not a facsimile of a sham. Him. The person I had been dreaming of for so long.

“Georgia,
ciao
, how are you,
come siete
?”

I couldn't speak. I turned round. And looked at him. I looked straight into his eyes. I had forgotten how amber they were, sort of soft-and hard-looking at the same time. He half smiled at me, and he has gorgey teeth—let's face it, he was gorgey all over.

“I just stop to say
ciao
, I have been away.”

I still couldn't speak. Maybe nodding was alright? I nodded. Oh good, I was being a budgie in a school uniform. Eggscellent. Shut up, brain. You haven't joined in so far, don't start now.

He revved up his engine and said, “I too must go. We are rehearsing. Are you coming to the gig? I hope to see you there.
Ciao
.”

Oh, dear
Gott in Himmel
!!!

6:30 p.m.

Lying on my bed, I think I might be in a coma.

I have to speak to someone normal about this.

6:45 p.m.

Can't think of anyone.

7:00 p.m.

Still can't think of anyone.

7:45 p.m.

Gave up on talking to someone normal and called an ace gang meeting at Luigi's.

9:30 p.m.

In between slurps of coffee, the ace gang gave me the pep talk to end all pep talks. I have to go out and get my man!!! Yee-ha. Rosie even sang the national anthem and said, “Gird your loins, and adjust your nungas for battle.”

midnight

I mean, why would he come round to my house to say
ciao
if he didn't like me a bit?

saturday june 4th
1:00 a.m.

What is it with boys? Just when I thought I had forgotten about my heartbreakosity
vis-à-vis
Robbie (
merde
, I've thought of his name again, I am going to have to call him something else so as not to attract the voodoo thing. I will call him…er…the guitar plucker.)…Anyway, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes, just when I thought I had forgotten about my heartbreakosity
vis-à-vis
the guitar plucker, he sends me a really nice letter. Then Masimo pops by.

Oh, I don't know!!!

churchill square
11:00 a.m.

Rosie said, “In this sort of situation, she who dares, shops.”

So in preparation for the Battle of the Chicks I am going to get a fabby and marvy pair of shoes.

ravels
11:30 a.m.

I saw these cool shoes in the window, with a bit of a kitten heel and some groovy strappy bits round the toes and the heel.

in the shoe shop

We all trooped in and I asked for my size. The woman said the biggest they had was a size 4 until next week.

Next week! Is she mad? I have to go to the gig, like, tonight!

I said to her, “OK, please bring me them.”

Jas said, “What's the point of that, you take a size 7?”

“Sometimes.”

Rosie, who was trying on some ludicrous furry
boots that made her look like a yeti, said, “So do your feet change size, then?”

I said, “Well, you know, it SAYS a size 7, but then if they are made in Japan where they have very tiny feet, size 7 is like a size 15 over here.”

They all looked at me.

Then the lady with the shoes came back. They were groovy as anything. Masimo would love them, because as every fool knows, Italians are the mistresses of footwear.

five minutes later

Blimey. I couldn't get my heels in. I said politely to the lady, “Have you got a horn?”

And that set the gang off into hysterics.

She looked at us like we were loons but went off to get the shoehorn.

five minutes later

Got them on! Yesss!

The lady in the shop said, “Are you sure they fit? Walk around in them.”

The gang were all slouched about waiting for me not to be able to walk. I got up. Ouch ouch and double
merde
and ouch. They were bloody aggers.
I looked in the mirror. They looked fab. I must have them; I must go through the pain for him. I smiled like a loon.

“Do you know, it's amazing, they are sooooo comfy as well as being groovy. It's almost like wearing slippers.”

bedroom
1:00 p.m.

I have stuffed my new shoes with newspapers to try and stretch them.

bedroom
1:30 p.m.

Mum came snuffling around. “Give us a look at your new shoes.”

I said, “Oh, I'll show you later when I am all dressed up.”

in the bathroom
5:00 p.m.

Dad said he doesn't know anyone who stays in the bathroom for four hours. It is a great pity that he doesn't spend a lot more time on his appearance.

in my room
5:30 p.m.

I have two mirrors arranged so that I can see back and front.

I am so smoothy everywhere that I am like a human billiard ball, there is not one single lurking rogue hair on my entire body. I am a lurker-free zone and I have at least got my base coat of makeup on.

6:00 p.m.

I have got a couple of jumbo rollers in my hair, which I will take out at the last moment when I have done everything else so that I have max bounceablilty.

6:30 p.m.

Calm ohm. Save myself and my energy for the battle. Better check the weather. Hmmm, a bit cloudy.

Phoned Jas. “Jas, do you think it will rain?”

Jas said, “Just a min.”

I heard her scampering around and then she came back to the phone.

“No, I think dry spells with just a tiny possibility of precipitation.”

Blimey. I had to ask—I knew I shouldn't, but I had to.

“Jas, can I ask how you found that out?”

“Oh, yes, well, the snails in the jar that Tom and I placed in the—”

“Jas, I really must dash. Libby is watching
The Sound of Music
again and I need to yodel along. See you at eight.”

7:00 p.m.

Just about ready. I am not going to risk the boy entrancers, even though they are fab and entrance boys like billio. I don't want to take any risks glue-wise. I have put eight coats of mascara on, so that should do the trick. I put on one coat and then put talcum powder over it and then another coat and so on. I can hardly lift my top lids up, but I like to think that gives me a mysterious sexualosity.

7:15 p.m.

My little blue skirt looks vair fab and I have put fake tan on my legs to top up my Hamburger-a-gogo
browniness. I don't think you can really see the streaky bits unless you were at floor level, and who is going to be there? Apart from the midget lesbians I was worrying about before. I have got my strict bra on, the one that takes no nonsense from my basoomas, and a fabby blue and black top, which has got a really small pair of lips on it down at the bottom. You don't notice it, but if you did, it would imply I liked snogging without implying I am a tart.

7:25 p.m.

Mum called up: “Can I come and see what you are wearing?”

Oh God.

I put my shoes on.

OH my God!!! Ag city Arizona! They were made for a child! I pushed my feet in and managed to get them on. And stood up. If I walked about I would probably get used to them.

Mum came in.

“Wow. You look really groovy! Is this for the Italian Stallion?”

Shut up. Please shut up.

Then she noticed my shoes.

“Are they your new shoes? They are gorge, aren't they? Aren't they a bit too small for you?”

I said, smiling widely, “Gosh no, if anything they are a bit slack.”

She was still looking at them.

“What size are they?”

I looked at my watch and said, “Crikey O'Reilly, is that the time? I promised to meet the gang at seven thirty. S'later.”

I dashed off down the stairs. Ouch ouch, aggers aggers. Bugger bugger bum.

on the way to jas's

My God, these shoes hurt. On the plus side I think they are cutting off the blood supply to my feet, so with a bit of luck my feet will be numb soon.

I had to sit up on a wall for a resties just round the corner from Jas's house.

7:45 p.m.

As we walked along Jas said, “Do you want to go to the loo? You're walking funny.”

clock tower
8:00 p.m.

Met up with the usual suspects. Rosie had actually bought the furry yeti boots. Maybe they are to match Sven's. He has the most unusual dress sense I have come across in someone who is not actually working in a circus. I wouldn't have thought you could buy shiny purple suits with scarlet inserts, but you can. Also, if I could bear to think about it, I would say that he was wearing lipstick. He lifted me up and kissed me on both cheeks.

“Hi, girly girls, let's hit it!!”

I looked into my compact. Yep, he was wearing lipstick.

We all trailed after him. Jools is in a state of near madnosity about whether she is going out with Rollo or not. Jas is in one of her philosophical moods, so she said to Jools, “If it is meant to be, then it will be. Did I show you my song from Tom called ‘You Are the Only Fish in My Sea'?”