Love Lost and Found (13 page)

His eyes lost their hurt. “Really?”

“I think so.”

“Oh babe, that’s great. Don’t worry about your contract, we can sort that out. You
should come home right away. We can fly from Fiji.”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t do that. I can probably cut my contract short. But I can’t just
leave. I’ve seen what that does to the crew. It’s too much, and anyway there’s no
need to rush. It’s better if we get to know each other again slowly. Me coming back
a couple weeks after you won’t change anything.”

“Oh. Right. How long does it take to get back to Auckland from Nandi?”

“We’ll be back in New Zealand in about three days. But if you’ve got things to do
you can catch a flight and be there in a few hours. There’ll be flights out to San
Fran every day from there.” San Francisco. Felicity paused, lost a moment.

“What is it?” He ran a finger over her face, closing her eyes. She pulled back.

“I don’t know what it will be like when I get back. I’ve still got my apartment, so
there’s no issue there.” She paused again. “We never lived together, did we?”

“No. You can stay with me if you want, though. Don’t feel like you have to keep your
distance.”

She waved him off. “But what if it doesn’t work out? What if I don’t remember how
to do my job? What if I’m useless to you at Biogena?”

Rick’s smirk told her he thought she was exaggerating, but her racing heart told her
otherwise. She didn’t back down, didn’t fill the silence with anything.

Rick huffed a half snort. “Do you still remember your periodic table?”

Felicity rolled her eyes at him. “Remembering what I learned in high school and the
details of a Biogena Cooperative Research and Development Agreement are hardly going
to be in the same league.”

“Well you at least know what a CRADA is. Surely that’s a start?”

The words had come to her unbidden and Felicity hesitated a smile. “I do, don’t I?
I wonder if…?” She looked for more memories of biotech words, concepts, formulas,
anything that might mean she
did
have something left of the last five years. There were flickering images, ideas,
concepts. But nothing concrete. “It’s like I’m looking through water. I see the theories,
the models, but I don’t see myself at the office working on them. I don’t see my life
before.”

Rick hesitated, but his words were gentle. “You knew a lot before you started with
me. And you jumped in feetfirst and ran with it. You’ll pick up whatever the accident
has stolen.”

Felicity bit her lip. She
had
studied this stuff for years. She knew the theories inside and out, so maybe he was
right. Maybe it would be a matter of just running with it all before it started clicking
into place.

Looking at Rick, Felicity wondered again that she could have been engaged to him.
To him! Sex on a stick and the head of a major biotech conglomerate. Had she really
been so sorted back then?

“Okay. If you’re still not convinced, a test. What’s abiotic stress?”

“The effect of nonliving factors on living organisms. The harm they can do. Pollutants,
extreme temperature—”

Rick held up a hand. “See? You might not remember remembering this. But it’s still
there.”

“You think?”

“I know.” There was no hesitation this time and when he bent to kiss her, Felicity
didn’t fight it.

Chapter Thirteen

Felicity had anticipated a few empty metal shells, maybe a propeller if she was lucky,
so she was totally unprepared to snorkel around almost fully formed fighter planes
that morning before their flight. Rick had made her leave her bracelet on, and all
through their swim she saw it glinting through the water, a constant reminder that
she would be heading back to the States with the man whose hand she held.

“Our plane leaves in ten minutes. Do you want a coffee or anything?”

Felicity shook her head, dislodged from her memories. She’d seen how they made coffee
in Vanuatu, and it didn’t include anything that remotely resembled an espresso machine.

“Back soon. Watch the bags?”

Felicity looked around the empty terminal and pulled a face at Rick’s wink. But pulling
Rick’s satchel closer, Felicity accidentally tipped it up and scattered half the contents
on the ground. Scooping up the shells, coconut carvings, and the few other odds and
ends, she came across a sheaf of documents. Stuffing the other things back in, she
refolded the papers and, as she did so, noticed her name at the bottom of one.

“Our plane’s boarding, better go. Here, I’ll take that.” Rick pushed the papers into
his jacket pocket and picked up his bag.

“What are they?”

“What are what? Come on, there’s only one plane and if we miss it, we’re out of luck.”
Taking her hand, Rick hustled her onto the airstrip and out to the tiny plane. Felicity
laughed as he swung her up along with their bags, and jogged to the plane with her
in his arms. Then he wiggled his eyebrows and the Caped Crusader moment became more
of a John Cleese episode. Sure, there was only one plane, but they were the only people
on it, and they would have had plenty of island time to dawdle. Still, looking down
from a plane at the splay of tropical islands was something she’d been looking forward
to, and she wasn’t about to demand that Rick put her down when her pose left her neatly
snuggled into his chest.

It was a perfectly clear day so they were guaranteed a fantastic view. Felicity grinned
as she clipped the seat buckle and thought about Rick swooping her up in his arms
again. He’d made a perfect Hollywood alpha hero. “Maybe I should call you Bond instead
of Cashypants,” she said.

Rick’s look was odd. Confused, but also tentative. “Did I miss something?”

“You know, snorkeling over fighter jets, then swooping over the ocean in this tiny
pencil with wings. Proper hero behavior.”

“Oh, right. I thought you were accusing me of international espionage. More hero,
less spy, I get it.” His smile returned. “Maybe I’ll shake up your martini later,
although you don’t make much of a Moneypenny. Pussy Galore, perhaps?”

“Har-de-har-har.” But as the plane taxied down the strip and then soared up over the
crystal waters and emerald bursts of tree-clad islands, Felicity felt as glamorous
as any Bond girl could hope for.

A new life beckoned. Well, technically it was her old one, but with no memory of it,
it felt as if she really was getting a chance at a do-over. One with a crazy-hot man
included, who genuinely seemed to be into her.
Now all you have to do is keep him.
That should be doable, since he didn’t seem like the type to run, and he’d already
gone out of his way to make sure they got this second chance.

She sighed happily and burrowed into his arm.

“What’s up?” he yelled into her ear over the sound of the engine.

Smiling up at him, she shook her head and gave him the thumbs-up sign. Returning her
smile, he kissed a finger and touched it to her nose. Yep, Rick McCarthy might have
a sharkskin suit when he needed it, but he was one of the good guys for sure. When
they got back to a room, she was definitely taking him up on that offer to shake up
her martini.

…

Looking out over Felicity’s head, Rick felt the investment papers in his pocket as
if they were burning through the fabric of his shirt into his very skin.
You could have just brought them out and asked her to sign them then and there.
He could have done it days ago. Almost had. Perhaps he should have; then at least
this mess of feelings that was starting to drive him crazy wouldn’t be mixed up in
work pressure. Yes, but what if she refused to sign? What if she decided the whole
reason he’d come to find her had been about getting her to give up a chunk of her
patent?
So?
Wasn’t it the truth? He shut his eyes. Only part of the truth. He’d wanted her back,
and now he couldn’t imagine a world without her in it, but the patent and investment
deal was still at the core of why he’d come out here in such a damn hurry.

As she nestled into his side, the curve of Felicity next to him felt so right, Rick
couldn’t quite remember what it had been like without her.
It had been fine. You’d been focused on work. On completing this deal for your brother.
His brother. Tom’s pale, sunken face superimposed itself over the window of the plane,
blocking out the sparkling water and the promise of romantic bliss on the white sandy
beaches below. Rick fell into the memory as if it were yesterday.

“I’ll finish this, I promise,” he’d said as Tom lay frighteningly still, his breaths
so shallow they were barely there.

“You won’t be able to do it by yourself. I couldn’t, no one could.” Tom had managed
the words although Rick had to lean in close to hear them.

“I won’t be by myself. I have a team. And it’s getting bigger. The company is getting
bigger and better all the time,” Rick said.

Tom had nodded, seemingly satisfied, his face as pale as the white pillow he rested
on. Laid prone like that, it was as if Rick could see through him, his skin so thin,
only just papering over his bones. All his heart wanted was to sit quietly and share
the silence with his brother. Be still. Peaceful. But his mouth and mind didn’t have
time for that. “Had you thought about how we might take the development phase to market?”
Rick had been putting off asking the question, not wanting to press Tom, but time
was running out.

Struggling to lift his head up, Tom’s face stretched with the strain of trying to
get the words out, and then a barrage of coughing stole any voice he might have been
able to manage. When the coughing didn’t stop, Rick called the nurse. “Don’t worry.
I’ll work it out,” he whispered as Tom slumped into himself, the shot of morphine
the nurse had administered allowing his muscles to release and his breathing to tumble
back to an unsteady rattle rather than a choked gasp. Rick squeezed his brother’s
hand and whispered to him. “I
will
work it out. I’ll sort everything.” Time hadn’t been running out. It had run out.

Rick shook his head and the miserable image faded. That promise was why he was here.
If he hadn’t been able to protect Tom from the leukemia that killed him, he was sure
as hell going to be at the forefront of diminishing the effects the evil disease had
on other brothers and sisters across the world. The patent he and Felicity had developed
was at the heart of that. It was the heart of a process that might give leukemia sufferers
the extra years they needed so they weren’t chained to an early death sentence from
birth. The promise of that future was what made Biogena such an attractive investment.
Its work didn’t provide a cure by a long shot. But it did promise a life that was
a hell of a lot better than what his brother had gotten.
I said I’d look after you and I failed. But this will make up for it a little.
Wouldn’t it?

Rick looked down at Felicity again and pulled back a fraction. He’d been right to
protect himself from getting too emotionally invested in anyone before—that’s why
the old Felicity had been so perfect. If he let his guard down now, when he was so
close to getting a foothold in the door of success, he might make a mistake. And he
couldn’t afford mistakes. He might want Felicity in his life, but he needed to be
clear about his priorities. This was for Tom.

Once Felicity was safely contained on the cruise ship with nowhere to go, he’d get
her to sign. He could have control over that, if nothing else. When that was done,
they could start working on their relationship again without this hanging over his
head.

If anyone was going to understand the need to start fresh, it had to be Felicity.
Her amnesia had given her the ultimate second chance.

“This place is epic, don’t you think?”

Rick looked up from his phone as he flicked through the e-mails that had built up
in the past couple of days. “Not bad. But not better than the last place.”

“Really? I mean, Vanuatu was glorious, don’t get me wrong, but this place has a swim-up
bar. I just saw someone with practically a whole fruit salad in their cocktail. And
tiny umbrellas. I love tiny umbrellas.”

Rick heard the comic inflection in her voice and, despite his mind almost overflowing
with the demands for his attention, he looked up at her. “Is that your way of asking
for a drink?”

Felicity put a finger to her mouth and coiled a strand of hair around another. “We’re
not back at work yet, are we? As soon as I hit the ship’s deck I’ll have to, um, hit
the deck. Well, you know what I mean.”

“I think I do.” His grin felt as though it had to crack through a layer of dried mud
to get out. She was so beautiful, so ready to start over with him. Damn, but he needed
to get this out of the way. “Go order something. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I’ll be timing you.”

He watched her saunter over to the bar, a thatched island-style shed that was made
to look like it was half-submerged in the pool. The hotel they’d been told to wait
at was definitely lush, but after his time in more isolated Vanuatu, Rick found Fiji
a bit shiny. He waited until he was sure Felicity was out of earshot and then dialed
the number of the investors group.

“It’s Rick McCarthy. No, but we’re due back in Auckland day after tomorrow. Yes.”
He paused as the other person chatted about something inane. “That’s great, but I
better go. Just wanted to check in and let you know we’re all on track. I’ll scan
the contracts and e-mail them through to you as soon as I can. I’ll get my PA to set
up a meeting the second I’m back. Yes. At your offices. Well, there’s no point mucking
around now, is there? We all want to get to work.”

As he hung up the phone, Rick realized there was someone just behind him. ”Your car
is waiting. The ship is ready for you.”

Rick nodded to the receptionist, his shoulders tense with the fear and excitement
that he was so close to getting his whole life back in order.
Chill. It’s all going to work out.

Taking a deep breath, Rick started over to the swim-up bar and pushed a smile through
the hard surface of his face.

…

“Oh my God. Were you scared? I would have been scared. All those bugs and rats and
stuff.”

“I bet she wasn’t. You’re tough, aren’t you, boss?”

Felicity smiled as the young girls from her team bombarded her with questions. Her
team had been waiting for her, were practically waving banners welcoming her back,
when she and Rick stepped up the walkway. But rather than being pleased with the hero’s
welcome she’d plotted, Felicity’s stomach sank at the thought of being back on board.
After everything she’d talked through with Rick, standing on the ship she’d called
home these last few months seemed like a hollow slice of reality, nothing like the
break from it all she’d convinced herself it was. And Rick had been dragged to the
side by Captain Atkinson, away from her.

“Did you hear what Atkinson has been doing while you’ve been gone?”

Felicity turned to her assistant, a bitchy blonde who was nonetheless a genius with
numbers. “Do I really want to know?”

“Of course you do, you’re the queen of gossip.” The assistant giggled. There was a
swing of blond hair as she rolled her eyes and flicked her ponytail. She made a coy
face then whispered, “He’s only gone and hired his daughter to be a cook on board.
The other chefs down in the kitchen are spitting. Apparently she was at some fancy
restaurant but had a tantrum and so now she’s coming to work on daddy’s boat. It’s
like a cockfight down there.”

Is this really what my life has been about?
Wanting to take the other woman by the shoulders and shake her to get her to stop,
Felicity put her hands to her face instead.

“Oh, are you tired? Sorry. Of course you are. All of us prattling on. But you know,
drama. It’s not like the head purser gets abandoned with a filthy-rich hottie every
day, is it?” The woman gave Felicity a big wink. “I have to say… Nice one. Whatever
you gave the captain to make that happen, can I have some?”

Felicity forced out the smile and looked for Rick. Surely the captain would be finished
with him and they could disappear. The two men stood huddled in the corner, Rick towering
over the captain, and next to the older man, certainly looking every inch the pinup
her assistant proclaimed. Felicity’s smile softened and became real. So what if she’d
wasted a couple of months here? She’d learned a few things about life at sea, gotten
a great tan, seen some amazing tropical paradise locations, and now her Hollywood
hero had come to rescue her. Clenching her hands into fists, Felicity gave herself
a mental squeeze. Her assistant was right. How lucky was she?

Finally Rick disentangled himself from the captain and came over to her. Every fiber
in her body longed to put up a hand to his face and move the dark tendril of hair
that had fallen out of place, but she gripped her bag tighter instead. “What was that
all about? Looked pretty intense.”

“Oh.” His face folded into a frown. “Just more politics. Come to my cabin for a drink
a little later? I imagine this lot isn’t going to leave you alone for the next hour
or so. And I bet your paperwork mountain is about as sky-high as mine.”

“You’re totally right. Although I don’t really give a rat’s ass about paperwork at
this particular minute.”