Love, Unwanted (Discovering Love #3) (12 page)

Love.
I love Phoenix, but he doesn’t love me. Could he love me? No. No, he does not love me. Maybe…

I shut down my inner debate when he starts singing a song about none other than…sex. I’ve heard plenty of songs about this particular subject. I’ve even heard Phoenix sing some sex songs before. That’s not the reason the hair on my arms is standing at attention, or the reason my whole body is buzzing with awareness. It’s also not the reason I have to rub my thighs together to get some kind of relief from my pulsing core.

No. It’s what he’s doing, the way he’s looking at me while he sings every word. When he sings about pleasuring a woman all night in every possible way, it’s like he’s saying it to me, like it’s what he wants to do to me.

“Looks like our magic worked,” Liz notes with a sly smile when she comes to stand on the opposite side of me from Em.

“That it did,” Em agrees.

I barely hear what they’re saying. My mind, my body, my everything is still focused on the show. I make up my mind right then and there…I don’t care what happens, tonight will be
the
night.

The guys finish up the show and meet us at the bar a couple hours later. My nerves kicked back in while waiting. Not only because of how I look, but because of the decision I made earlier tonight.

I know I’ve run out of time to worry when I hear Em and Liz both release ridiculously girly screams and take off running toward Shaun and Nick. I don’t move, but I can feel Phoenix behind me.

I down the rest of my second drink in one throw before telling myself to grow some lady balls and turning to face him. “Hi,” I whisper.

“Hi.” He smiles.

“You guys were great. Totally awesome.”
Oh God, Caroline! Totally awesome? What are we, back in fifth grade?

“Thanks, baby.” He laughs before grabbing my hips and pulling me to him. I shiver when I feel his lips touch my ear. “You look fucking delicious. Do you have any idea what you were doing to me all night, birdie?” he growls.

“No,” I whisper again, afraid to raise my voice any higher.

A whimper escapes me when he pushes his obvious erection through my skintight dress into my now wet pussy. “Do you feel that?”

Umm…how could I not?
I want to scream this, but my mouth is currently drier then the Sahara Desert and I don’t think I could choke out a reply if I tried. I nod instead.

“
That’s
what you’ve been doing to me all night, baby girl. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?”

The old innocent Caroline would shy away from a brazen question like that, but not tonight. I’m not that Caroline tonight and I’m going to tell him exactly what I plan to do about it. That is, until I’m interrupted by Nick. “Bro, we’re going to the Cricket. You in?”

“The Cricket?” I ask.

“It’s a nightclub downtown,” Phoenix answers before turning back to the rest of the group.

“Yeah, we’re in. Just let me talk to Mick and we can head out.” They all cheer but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed at how this night is going.

Phoenix wraps his fingers around my chin and turns my head to look at him. He gives me a soft kiss and says, “Don’t be sad, babe. I got plans for you.”

“Plans?” My hopes go up.

“Yep. I think tonight would make the perfect opportunity to cross off another list item.”

Not exactly where I thought he was going with this, but I’m intrigued. “Which item would that be?”

“It’s time to get you drunk, baby.”

Chapter Sixteen

A Showdown Of Epic Proportions

“Another one!” I shout after throwing back my fifth, or was it sixth, shot of tequila? My body is buzzing and everything feels blissful. I know I’m being way louder than necessary, considering everyone in our little group is right next to me in our VIP section, but I’ve lost the ability to control the volume of my voice and the need to care.

It’s hard to believe I’m having this much fun considering I was mildly disappointed when Phoenix agreed to come out tonight instead of us going back to the suite. I wanted tonight to be the night, and I was worried that would go out the window if we went out.

I was worried until Emily and Liz explained to me going out and having a few drinks could work in my favor. Apparently, drinking will loosen you up and make you braver. At least that’s what Em told me to get me to take the first shot of tequila. I’m not sure what she told me to get me to down the second shot, but I vaguely remember it took no convincing whatsoever to get me to drink the third.

So, here I am, five or six shots in and feeling amazing. Well, really, I’m not feeling anything. “This place is amazing!” I shout again and everyone laughs.

“I think getting you drunk has been accomplished, birdie,” Phoenix says in my ear.

“I think you might be right.” I giggle.

I open my mouth to embarrass myself further, I’m sure, when Liz’s squeal stops me. “Oh my God! I love this song. Come dance with us.”
Dance? No.
Even in my drunken stupor, I know dancing and me do not mix at all whatsoever. I have two left feet.

I don’t get a chance to argue before one of the girls yanks my arm and pulls me on the dance floor. I try to grab Phoenix and use him as an anchor but he notices the terror on my face and finds it funny. He dodges my arm and gives me a wide smile and a wave as I’m being pulled away.
I’m going to kill him.

“Come on, girl! Move them hips!” Emily encourages as she and Liz dance around me.

“Um, I’d rather not!” I shout while awkwardly pulling my dress down. Not that it needs to be pulled down; I’m just looking for something to do. This whole situation couldn’t be any more uncomfortable.

“Loosen up, lady! Tonight is about having fun and getting your man. Let’s get another shot.” Emily signals for a waitress.

“It’s not that. It’s just…I can’t really dance.”

“Psh. Everyone can dance.”

“Not me. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“Listen, all you have to do is move your body to the music.”

“Yeah…I think I’m going to sit this one out,” I say after watching Emily dance in a risqué way.
If only I could move like that.

“Look at Shaun, Caroline,” she instructs me while continuing to dance. I do, and I know instantly what she’s going to say. “Look how he’s watching me. You want Phoenix to look at you like that, you have to show him what you want, what you both want. He already finds you sexy, so who cares what anyone else thinks. You’re dancing for him.”

“She’s right,” Liz chimes in. She hands me another shot. “Now, down this shot and let loose, babe.”

With no other options, and the fact that I really want to look sexy in front of Phoenix, I do as they say and down the shot as soon as Zella Day’s “Hypnotic” begins to play through the speakers.

I take a big breath and begin subtly moving my hips. The entire time, I’m fighting the urge to hide my face. I get more and more relaxed as I feel the warmth from the tequila moving through my body.

Eventually, the girls are right. Everyone else on this floor, everyone in the bar, just fades away. I can hear the girls encouraging me, but I drown them out. The only people in this club are Phoenix and me. I can feel his eyes burning into me, but I’m too scared and too focused to open my eyes.

I leisurely run my hands up the sides of my body seductively until they’re in the air above my head, then I bend my knees and sway my hips. I don’t know who this Caroline is, but I love her. I’ve never felt more free in my entire life. This is who I was supposed to be all along.

I continue to dance without care with my eyes closed until I hear Liz whisper in my ear, “Told you so.”

I open my eyes and stare across the club into Phoenix’s gray ones. He’s sitting on the couch in our section. Out of my peripheral vision, I can kind of see Shaun and Nick talking and laughing, but none of his attention is on them.

He’s sitting forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. All of his attention is on me and if I’m judging by the way his jaw is clenching and the way his body is shifting, I’d say he likes what he sees.

I don’t stop dancing for even a second and I don’t close my eyes. I hold his stare as I continue to move my body. I don’t realize I’m doing it right away, but I’m gradually dancing away from Emily and Liz and toward Phoenix.

I’m almost to the edge of the dance floor when I’m stopped from going any further at the same time the song changes to another one. A big figure has stepped into my view, preventing me from looking into Phoenix’s eyes. My eyes trace a path from a broad, muscled chest until I reach his face.

From what I can see in the dim club, the stranger is handsome with a square jaw, dark green eyes, and wavy blonde hair. He looks like a real life Ken doll. He gives me a megawatt smile, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why.

Then he starts talking. “You looked great out there.”

“Thanks,” I answer lamely.

“For real. You looked so sexy out there. All eyes were on you.”

I blush at his words and shift from one foot to the other. He’s complimenting me, but the way his eyes are sliding over my body is making my skin crawl. “Thank you,” I mumble again and try to step around him. My breath freezes in my lungs when he moves in front of me, preventing me from taking another step.

“Can I buy you a drink?” It just so happens that, at the moment he decides to ask me this, the club begins to spin.

“Actually, I think I’ve had enough to drink.” My stomach rolls when I try again to walk around him, but he once again blocks me from going further.

“How about a dance?”

I’m shaking my head before he even finishes his sentence. “I’m actually here with someone.”

“Come on,” he says through what I’m sure is supposed to be a charming smile, but at this moment, I just find it to be incredibly creepy. “Just one dance.”

“She said no,” Phoenix says. I look around, but I don’t see him anywhere. It isn’t until the stranger moves out of the way that I see Phoenix, and he’s pissed.

He’s staring at the stranger and hasn’t even looked in my direction. His arms are crossed over his chest. If it wasn’t for his jaw ticking, and his body vibrating, he could be a statue.

Ken turns around and sizes Phoenix up. “Excuse me?”

“I said,” Phoenix begins right before taking a step toward us, “she said no. So, you can move on now.” My stomach rolls with anticipation. By the time he finishes talking, he’s standing less than an inch away from Ken-doll.

Phoenix’s words do not sit well with him. He went from somewhat relaxed to obviously offended and unbelievably pissed off. “Who the fuck are you?” he growls.

I expect anger from Phoenix at this point, especially at the way Ken-doll just spoke to him. What I do not expect is what he does instead—smile. “I’m her boyfriend.” His eyes still don’t come to me, but he nods his head in my direction.

Phoenix doesn’t wait for a response to that. He takes another step closer to the guy and leans in to begin talking to him. It’s dark and loud in here, so I don’t have a clue to what Phoenix is saying to him, but I would guess it’s not friendly. The stranger’s face goes from irate to pale the more Phoenix says.

When Phoenix is done talking, he gives Ken-doll a friendly pat on the shoulder, another award-winning smile, and walks over to me.

“What’s happening?” I whisper.

“Nothing, baby. Let’s dance.” He grabs my hand and guides me back to the center of the dance floor.

Ed Sheeran’s “Give Me Love” starts to play when we reach the spot on the dance floor. I have a million questions and all of them have to do with what he said to that guy for him to turn that shade of white.

As soon as Phoenix’s hands go to my hips, he pulls me into him, and we begin to sway to the song, I forget all about those questions. I breathe him in and soak in this moment.

For the second time tonight, everyone else in the club disappears. Only he and I exist. I rest my head on his shoulder and he wastes no time kissing the back of my head.

It starts out simple and sweet, but when he starts talking, it takes a much more suggestive turn. “Have I told you how fucking sexy you look tonight?” he growls, his hands snaking from my waist to rest on my bum.

“You may have mentioned it a time or two,” I joke, but on the inside every single muscle is tight with anticipation.

“Did you know you’ve been slowly driving me mad, teasing me from the moment you walked into my life? Did you know at times it felt physically impossible to keep my hands off you? All I have wanted is to feel you underneath me. Nothing between us, just skin on skin.”

My head leaves his shoulder so I can look at him in shock. I mean, obviously I know Phoenix likes me. He’s made that clear numerous times over the past few months, but I would have never guessed it was hard for him to keep his hands off me.

It always seemed so easy, so frustratingly easy, for him to keep his hands, and other parts, to himself. I feel like I’ve been in a personal hell where I’ve wanted him to want me as bad as I want him. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I’ve been in hell, baby. This dress, your hair, and your makeup? Don’t get me wrong, it’s so motherfucking hot. I’ve been hard since I first laid eyes on you tonight, but in all honesty, it’s everything about you. I love the way you treat and talk to your fish like it’s a human and how excited you get when you talk about books. I’ve never met anyone who gets as enthusiastic as you do over a book.” He chuckles.

“Baby, I fucking love the way you blush when anyone gives you a compliment.” I smile and of course my face heats. “Like that.” He grins. “And I love how you can meet a stranger, hold a two second conversation with them, and they are your best friend by the time you walk away. It’s everything about you that makes it hard for me to not throw you over my shoulder, carry you to my bedroom, and show you just how much I love everything about you. I’m telling you all this for a reason, birdie.” He stops swaying us to the music and cups my face.

“I’m telling you this because I want you to know that I’m done. I can’t keep holding back. I want to have you…all of you. Tonight. Are you ready for that?”

I know that I am, but I still find myself hesitating to answer him right away. I know I want him. I want to feel him inside me, but can I handle it if, for some reason, this doesn’t work out? Would I be able to bear the pain if he walked away at any point? No, I don’t think I would.

On the other side, though, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I passed up the chance to be loved by Phoenix, to be loved by the man I love so wholeheartedly. I believe the regret of passing up this chance would be stronger than any pain I could feel if things don’t turn out well in the end.

“Yes, I’m ready,” I say with confidence.

No sooner do the words leave my mouth then Phoenix’s lips crash down on mine. I don’t even care that we’re in a club full of strangers, standing in the middle of the dance floor. I kiss him back with everything I have.

“Can we leave now?” he pants when the kiss ends. I can’t help it. I throw my head back and laugh at his eagerness. It’s about time he feels what I’ve felt for what seems like forever.

“The night is young,” I tease.

“Really now? Well, the way I see it is you have two options here. You could come willingly or I can pick you up and carry you out. Either way, tonight you’re going to come.” My core spasms and my panties are instantly soaked at his obvious innuendo.

I’m about to flip the switch and start begging him to take me out of here when we’re interrupted by Emily. “Come on, girl. More drinks at the bar!” she slurs. I look between her and Phoenix. I know where I want to go, but I’ve also never had a night out with girls like this before and a very miniscule part of me wants to stay.

“Go, baby. Like you said, the night is young. There’ll be plenty of time later to have our own little private party.” He winks. He gives me another promising kiss. Then I’m pulled to the bar.

***

“I’m so drunk!” I scream. Two hours, four shots, and two mixed drinks later, and I’m g-o-n-e. One second I’m loving life and the next I’m about throw up, but this is the most fun I think I’ve ever had, although I’ve been warned by just about everyone tonight that I may not think that in the morning.

“I’m thinking it may be time to cut you off, sweetheart.” Phoenix chuckles. I turn from the bar and look at the stool he’s sitting on and giggle because I know what leaving here means. It means sex. Lots and lots of sex with Phoenix Castle.