Love, Unwanted (Discovering Love #3) (6 page)

I just barely bite back a whimper at his words. I wrack my brain for a response, but absolutely nothing comes to mind. Thankfully, I don’t have to come up with one. After one soft kiss to the back of my head, Phoenix jumps out of the bed and saunters to the bathroom.

“We hit the road in thirty minutes, baby doll. Get ready for the best road trip of your life.”

Chapter Nine

Sing In Front Of A Crowd

“Damn it,” Phoenix hisses from the trunk of the car.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“It isn’t good.”

“No spare tire?”

“No spare tire,” he confirms. I hug Bubbles’s bowl against my chest and lean against the car. Then I look up at the sky. It’s going to rain. Even still, today has been an amazing day. Since we left the motel this morning, it’s been nothing but a day full of spontaneous excitement.

It really has been a road trip to nowhere. He, Bubbles, and I just loaded up in his car and drove, stopping at different shops and flea markets, taking pictures of beautiful scenery. Nothing was planned out, nothing was organized, and it’s been nothing like a trip I would normally take, but it’s been the best trip of my entire life and one I’ll remember forever.

About twenty minutes ago, our trip came to a screeching halt because of a flat tire. I look back at Phoenix when I hear him utter another curse word and see him looking at his cell. “Have no cell service either,” he says.

“The friend that you borrowed the car from doesn’t normally keep a spare?”

He chuckles at my question and looks away. I look at him with an expression I’m sure is brimming with suspicion.

“Well…about that. I didn’t really borrow the car from my manager. I kind of just took it,” he says slowly.

“You stole his car?” I ask, flabbergasted.

“It’s not really stealing and it’s not really a big deal. Look, Mick promised me a break. He didn’t keep that promise so I took a break anyway. Let’s say this is payback for not keeping his word.”

I watch as he walks from the back of the car to stand in front of me. He cups my face in his hands. “I promise you it’s fine. It isn’t the first time I’ve done this, it probably won’t be the last. Right now our biggest worry is getting in the car before it starts to downpour, and then we need to find cell reception.”

He lets go of my face and jogs around to the driver side door. I try the passenger door handle and find it’s locked. It’s about the third time Phoenix tugs on his door handle that I realize what happened. Phoenix locked us out.

“Oh and this night just keeps getting better!” he growls.

I know he’s frustrated, and I know that there’s nothing funny about Phoenix being mad, but when mother nature decides to use this moment to release the heaviest rain storm I’ve seen in a long time on us, I can’t help it. I throw my head back and laugh.

“Really? You’re choosing this moment to laugh?” he yells over the rain.

“I wanted an adventure! I’m standing on the side of a back road in the middle of nowhere locked out of our car in a rain storm while holding a gold fish bowl. Now this is an adventure.” I barely finish talking before I’m laughing again, only this time Phoenix joins in.

“Come on, crazy girl. I think I saw a small pub not too far from here. We gotta get you out of this rain before you get sick.”

He grabs Bubbles’s bowl and wraps it under his arm, then grabs my hand with his free hand. We take off running down the road.

After walking for about a mile, we finally spot the small pub he saw earlier. We burst through the door, laughing, but our laughter is quickly drowned out by the sound of two girls singing karaoke on stage, horribly off key.

The pub is dark, smoky, and packed. Most of the patrons don’t pay Phoenix or me any mind, which I find strange considering everywhere we go in Lishoy, people, mostly girls, stop him and ask for pictures and autographs, but some eyes do stray our way, which makes me feel out of place.

A chill runs through my body and I rub my arms to try and warm myself up. Phoenix puts his arm around me and tucks me into his body. His lips on my ear, he says, “Let’s go to the bar and get you something to warm you up, birdie.”

When we get to the bar, we are greeted by a heavyset bartender with a very grumpy face. He nods and says, “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll take a water,” Phoenix answers right away while placing Bubbles on the bar top. The bartender turns his cranky eyes to me.

“I’ll just have a coffee,” I stutter. I blush when he gives me an are-you-kidding look at my drink request. I’m well aware coffee isn’t really what you order in this kind of place, but I do it anyway.

The bartender steps away to make our drinks. Phoenix swivels his bar stool so he’s facing me. “Sorry about all of this. This isn’t how I pictured the day going and I’m sure you didn’t picture it this way either.”

“Are you serious? This was a blast, even the running in the rain.”

“Yeah, right.” He laughs.

“No, I’m so serious. It was impulsive and exhilarating. Those are two things I’ve never had in my life, but things I’ve always wanted. When I’m with you, I always know that I’m going to experience impulsive and exhilarating things. You have no clue what that means to me, what you mean to me.”

It just happened. That last sentence came out like word vomit, but I don’t regret it. Last night, when we were lying in bed, Phoenix was honest with me. He opened up to me. It’s only fair I open up to him as well, consequences be damned. He means more to me than just a friend, he means more to me than just this list, and I’m sick of hiding that.

I was brave enough to admit that, but I was not brave enough to look at him while saying it. When I finally do look at him, all of my surroundings fade away. His gray eyes are carnal and focused. Before I know it, our lips are slowly gravitating toward each other.

Tons of thoughts run through my mind, but the one that stands out is how I can’t believe this is finally happening. Then the bartender places our cups on the bar top and says, “Drinks.” I jump back.

“Thanks, man,” Phoenix says. It’s not hard to hear the frustration in his voice. I, however, am at a loss for words, so I just turn to my drink and take a big gulp. This was a bad idea. I ordered coffee. Coffee is hot, and I just burned my throat and mouth.

Thankfully, I only drink about half of the gulp. Unfortunately, I spit the rest of the gulp across the bar when I start coughing uncontrollably.

“Woah, are you okay?” Phoenix asks. He doesn’t give me time to even attempt an answer before he’s out of his seat and stands next to me, rubbing my back.

“I’m sorry,” I croak when I finally get my coughing under control. “I forgot it was hot.”
Good lord, could I sound any dumber?

“I see that.” I can hear the smile in Phoenix’s voice, but I don’t look at him. Instead, I look at the grumpy bartender who not-so-nicely tosses a towel down on the bar and walks away.

“Sorry!” I call to his back.

I pick up the towel and clean up my mess. When I’m finished, I turn to Phoenix. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”

“I don’t think he likes anybody, sweetheart.”

We both look down the bar to see him giving another customer the same cranky look he gave us. We look at each other and crack up laughing when the man grunts.

“You know what I think?” he asks me once our laughing begins to quiet.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s time we crossed another item off your list.”

My stomach erupts into butterflies as I wonder what item he has in mind. I don’t have to wonder long.

“Sing in front of a crowd.”

My stomach turns in a different way as soon as those words leave his mouth. I don’t want to do this one. Not one single part of me wants to get up on that little wooden stage and sing.

I clearly wasn’t thinking straight when I said that to Phoenix. I mean, I don’t even know what I was thinking when I put it on the list. Well, I guess that’s not true…I know what I was thinking. I was thinking this list was never going to be completed, so I didn’t have to worry about it.

“I-I don’t know about that one.”

“Oh, come on, baby. You can’t be any worse than those two.” He hikes his thumb toward the two college-age girls who are currently singing a Dolly Parton song off-key.

“You never know,” I joke, which causes Phoenix to throw his head back and release a boisterous laugh. I’m mesmerized by the sound of his laugh, by the way his Adam’s apple bobs, just by him.

“Listen, even if you are bad, look around. Everybody is drunk. They wouldn’t know either way. It’s the perfect audience.”

He makes sense, but…“I really don’t think I can do this.” I don’t even waste energy on trying to hide the panic in my voice.

“Look at me, baby.” Just like with every other command he gives me, my body obeys on its own. “Just like every other time, there’s no pressure. I never want to make you do something you don’t want to do, but I’m gonna tell you something. I’ve seen how strong and brave you are. I’ve seen it, and I know you can do this.”

It has to be temporary insanity because his words of encouragement are working. I can feel myself caving. “Shut your mind off, birdie. Just live in the moment.”

Shut your mind off, birdie. Just live in the moment.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Woo!” Phoenix cheers and walks up to the stage to talk to the deejay.

“You’re on next,” Phoenix says a couple minutes later when he gets back to the bar. “Want a shot before you go on? Helps calm the nerves.”

“No thanks. I’m trying not to throw up all over the audience. I’m afraid that if I start drinking now, that would be inevitable.”

The deejay calls my name.

“You got this, baby,” Phoenix reminds me when I stand on wobbly legs. Too scared to open my mouth yet, I just give a small nod and make my way to the stage.

“You know what number the song you want to sing is?” I hear the deejay ask me. I don’t look at him. I’m on auto pilot.

“Number forty-five,” I mumble. I step on the small stage.

I cannot believe I’m about to do this.

Please, God, don’t let me throw up…or pass out. Oh bloody hell, how embarrassing would that be?

Goodness, those lights are bright.

Maybe I should have taken that shot?

I’m so lost in having an entire conversation with myself, I almost miss the start of the song I picked—Rachel Platten’s
“
Fight Song
.
” I’ve heard this song a million times and have sung it more than that. Since the first time I listened to it, I connected to it. I felt every word. This song is me.

I open my mouth to sing, but the nervousness overcomes me, making my voice shaky and just a little off pitch. I fight the urge to run off stage and hide in a closet until morning and begin to scan the bar and crowd for something, anything, to focus on.

I’m just giving up hope when I see Phoenix weave through the crowd and stand right in front of the stage My whole body settles when our eyes meet. There’s no way I can hear him, and I can barely even see him, but I know he just mouthed the words, “Just look at me,” so I do.

I don’t know why or even how, but just his mere presence has every other patron in this pub disappear. Then something else happens. My eyes close, and a different kind of feeling settles over me. Confidence.

I grew up singing hymns in my father’s little church. I know I can sing. I’ve been told multiple times I have a beautiful voice. In truth, it was the one and only thing my mother and father ever praised me for.

It’s not about my voice. That’s not what has me petrified. It’s being the center of attention. For a girl like me, that’s the worst possible situation, but in this moment, I don’t care. I don’t know who I am, but I’m not the Caroline Taylor who shies away from moments like this. I open my mouth and sing with everything I have, with my entire soul, and I have fun.

Before I know it, my eyes are open, I’m smiling and dancing, and the crowd is clapping and cheering along. Well, everyone except Phoenix is clapping. He’s standing in the front of the crowd, his eyes glued to me, and he’s wearing a look of what can only be described as desire. Goosebumps scatter all over my body.

I sing for him, I sing for the crowd, but most of all, I sing for myself. I’m done letting my childhood chase me into seclusion. I’m done letting one past heartbreak imprison me into a life of loneliness, and I’m done letting Phoenix take his sweet ass time. If it kills me, he will be mine.

The song comes to an end and the whole pub is soon drowned in the sound of everyone clapping and cheering. I don’t even have the microphone on the stand all the way before Phoenix jumps up on the stage.

I squeal when he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up in the air to spin me around. “Holy shit! You fucking sing like an angel, baby girl!”

“Thank you.” I laugh. I’m thanking him for more than the compliment. I’m thanking him for pushing me to do this.

“Seriously! I cannot believe what I just heard. How long have you been hiding that?”

I look at him when he sets me back on my feet. His face beams so bright, one would think he was up on the stage singing. We’re riding the same high. Emotions are soaring, and that’s why I don’t hold it back anymore. I take us both by surprise. Bloody hell, I take the whole pub by surprise when I finally take what I want.