Lover's Roulette (7 page)

“I’m guessing they are from admirers?”

“Oh yeah.” She came back to sofa and I sat down next to her. Her dress was so short she could barely sit.

“You wanna go to the bathroom?”

“I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” I asked as I squeezed her thigh.

“What’s with you and fucking in public places?”

He laughed. “I just like having sex with you all the time.”

“You have a sickness.”

Ryan looked at him. “I have the same sickness, man.”

“And what’s that?” I
asked.

“You’re a sex addict.”
              I laughed. “No, you’re confusing me with my brother. You aren’t a sex addict if you have sex with the same person.”

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t think monogamy matters.”

Scarlet looked at me. “You’re sick, babe.”

“Well, you should
n’t have alcohol in front of an alcoholic.”

She ra
ised an eyebrow. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

I nodded to her dress. “Did you think I would just be immune to this?”

“I thought you had some control.”

“What gave you that idea?”
I asked with a smile. “You know what? This is all your fault.” I looked at the other girls. “You too.”

“What?” Scarlet asked, shocked.

“Yeah,” I continued. “You did this on purpose. You get all gussied up so we would be totally hooked on you and follow you around. You manipulated us so we would come here tonight and spend the evening with you. You aren’t fooling anybody.”

“Sean, that’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

Cortland nodded. “He’s totally right. This was all a plan. Well, mission accomplished.”

Ryan looked at Janice. “Baby, if you wanted
me to be with you all you had to do is ask.” He put his hand on her thigh. “I can’t say no when you dress like that.”

Monnique shook her head. “We did no such thing. You’re the ones who can’t keep it in your pants for five seconds.”

“It’s in my pants now,” Cortland said.

“That’s a miracle.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it. How many times have I woken up to you riding me like a jockey?”

Her cheeks reddened and she looked away.

“Well, that’s settled,” I said as I wrapped my arm around Scarlet.

Janice looked at me. “So you’re saying we should wear sweatpants and shirts with stains all over them, clothes that make us look like men, put our hair in a messy bun, and not wear a drop of makeup? That will get you to leave us alone?”

“That would be perfect,” I said. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you do that, baby?” Ryan asked.

Scarlet looked at Janice. “I’m going to call off the wedding.”

“And I’m going to dump your brother.”

Cortland looked at Monnique. “You’re so gorgeous, babe.”

“Too late. We’re done,” she said.

I grabbed Scarlet’s face and kissed her, parting her lips with my tongue. She was resistant at first, but then she gave in like she always did. “I love you.”

She growled. “You can’t use that excuse again for like a year.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

“I mean it.”

I grabbed another drink from the table and gave it to her to distract her. “Bottoms up, baby.”

“You’re trying to get me drunk?”

“I have a feeling that’s the only way I’m going to get any tonight.”

“You’re right.” She down the whole glass then returned it to the table. “But I’m gonna need a lot more of those.”

“You got it.”

7

Scarlet

I’m not sure what happened. There was booze—lots of booze. I remember talking to Mike, thinking he was Sean. Janice danced on the table, and Monnique and I hit the dance floor again. We left and went to another bar—I think.

When we came back to the hotel room, Sean and I didn’t have sex. I vaguely remember him carrying me to the bed and undressing me. I was blabbering about something and he seemed to humor me. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow, but my head was throbbing the whole time. It hurt so much that I woke up.

When I glanced at the clock, it was three in the morning. I felt like I just fell asleep. Perhaps I did. I was just wearing my bra and underwear. Sean was fast asleep, his hand around my waist. I pulled away and got up. There were some pain pills in my suitcase so I grabbed them and downed them with water.

I was still drunk, but not nearly as much as before. I felt like crying and I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t a mean drunk, a fun drunk, or a tired drunk. I was an emotional drunk. My darkest fears always came to the surface and knocked me over. My mouth kept running and I was unable to stop it.

I sat at the edge of the bed and wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to remember what happened tonight. Nothing came to mind. This was my bachelorette party but I couldn’t even remember most of it. When I started thinking about the wedding, my heart started to palpitate. What if she did come? What if she found out about everything? What if Sean left me because of my past? His parents would never approve of my more than humble beginnings. I put on Sean’s boxers and t-shirt then grabbed my computer before I walked outside. I leaned against the wall next to the door and opened my computer.

I was never good at expressing my emotions verbally
. Instead, I wrote them down in the form of a story. When I was really over something, I deleted the file and moved on. There were countless files in this folder. Instead of deleting them, they kept piling up. Other than my novels for my editing company, this took up the most space on my computer. I started to type and thought about nothing else.

There was no one in the hallway. The elevator light would bleep as it moved up and down the floors but the doors never opened. I never felt more alone in my life. I was in a building full of thousands of people but I felt like I
was standing in the middle of the desert, my computer as my cactus. How much did I have to drink? I’m glad Sean wouldn’t see me like this.

The door opened and Sean practically stumbled out. “Scarlet?”

“What?”

He breathed a sigh of relief then ran his fingers through his hair. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” I snapped.

He stared at me with anger in his eyes. “I woke up and couldn’t find you. You weren’t in the bathroom and you left your phone in the room. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You
r absence is more likely to wake than an alarm clock, Scar. I can’t sleep without you. You can type in bed.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide my emotion.

He was shirtless, standing in his boxers. Normally, I would yell at him to go inside because I didn’t want anyone to see him, but I was too upset. Sean recognized my pain immediately. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I whispered.

He stared at me, trying to figure out what to do. After a moment, he walked inside and shut the door. I remained on the floor in the hallway, unsure if he would come back. The door opened again and Sean walked out, wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He sat beside me and grabbed my hand. He said nothing for a long time.

His hand felt warm in mine—blazing. Some
how his body temperature was always scorching. Sharing a bed with him in the winter time always kept the cold away. His fingers caressed mine, lightly gliding across the skin. He brought my hand to his lips then kissed it before he returned it to my lap. He still didn’t say anything, waiting for me to speak first.

I looked away, hiding my face.

“Babe, let’s go inside,” he whispered.

“No.” I wasn’t sure why I said that. It seemed like I wanted to be ornery for no reason at all.

He leaned his head against the wall but didn’t argue with me. “You’re still drunk.”

That was obvious. My head was still pounding.

He grabbed my computer. “I’ll be right back.” He took it inside then returned a moment later. When he sat beside me, next to the wall, a man walked by then entered his room across the way. I was just wearing his boxers and t-shirt with no bra on, so Sean casually put his arm across my chest so it would block the outline of my tits. He was always possessive of my chest. He treated it like a separate entity, like how Cortland treated Monnique’s ass like a separate person. I was surprised he didn’t get mad at me.

After the man disappeared, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Let’s go inside, babe.”

“I don’t want to.”

He wrapped his arms around me and picked me up anyway. I didn’t fight it and let him take me back inside. He laid me on the bed then pulled off the clothes I was wearing. He tucked me inside the bed then placed t
he laptop at the foot of the mattress. “What is it, babe?”

I hugged my chest as I lied there, unable to s
ay anything. I thought I would cry if I tried to speak.

Sean knew me better than anyone. He knew exactly what I was feeling without having to say anything. He pulled back the cover
s and climbed on top of me, pinning me down. “Nothing can get past me.” That was his promise to protect me from anything and everything.

I ran my hands up and down his chest. “I know,” I whispered.

“You’re safe.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him close to me. I always felt better when he was near me, protecting me with his muscled frame and wide chest. There was nothing coming for me, but I appreciated the solid wall of concrete anyway.

He pressed his forehead against mine. “Babe, tell me.”

“I just had a bad dream.”

“About what?”

I felt the grooves of his chest with my fingertips, avoiding his gaze. “My mom.”

He didn’t react, keeping calm. “And what happened?”

“I—I don’t want to say.” I blinked back the tears.

He pressed his lips against the skin under my eyes and kissed the moisture away. “It’s okay.”

“It’s just hard for me to talk about. I wrote it down instead.”

“Do you want me to read it?”

I nodded.

“Okay. But how about you get some sleep first?”

“I’m too upset to sleep.”

“Then what do you want to do? Get some ice cream?”

“It’s three in the morning.”

“Vegas never sleeps.”

“What happened last night?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No.”

“I guess I’m not surprised. You got really drunk—all three of you. We stood by and kept an eye on you. Seriously, you three can drink more liquor than I can.”

I smiled. “We’re a bit crazy.”

“Do you have three kidneys?”

I smiled. “I store it in my boobs.”

“That explains a lot. Now I know why they taste so good.”

I chuckled but it came out weak. “Anything else happen?”

“You started talking about how good I was in bed, but you were talking to Mike when you thought it was me. I didn’t mind that at all.”

My cheeks reddened. “What did I say?”

“You went into detail, saying I could make you come without touching you.”

“I’m sure Mike loved hearing that.”

“And you kissed Monnique.”

“What?”

He smiled. “You made the three of us very happy.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

“Nope. I kinda knew you had a thing for her.”

I covered my face. “Ohmigod. When did that happen?”

“At the club we were at. She complimented your dress, you complimented her ass, then it just took off. Next thing we knew, you two were kissing.”

“Please tell me you’re lying.”

He pulled my hands away. “Babe, it was hot. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not a lesbian!”

He laughed. “I know you aren’t.”

“I swear!”

“It’s okay. I’m not judging you.”

I closed my eyes, trying to disappear.

“So you don’t remember it?”

“No!”

“That’s a shame. Your first lesbian encounter gone to waste.”

“Did Mike see?”

“Oh yeah. And he watched the replay.”

I opened my eyes. “You recorded it?”

“Yeah. You wanna see?”

“Delete it.”

“Okay.”

“Now. Who else recorded it?”

“Just me. Everyone else was too stunned. Well, except Ryan.”

“I want you to delete it now.” I didn’t
want that footage leaking on the internet, winding up somewhere it shouldn’t, and I didn’t want it to be used as blackmail against me.

“Babe, you don’t trust me?”

“That isn’t the issue. I just want you to delete it. Please.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll delete it. It’s okay.”

My heart rate slowed down. “I’m so embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean
why
?”

“We’re in Vegas at your bachelorett
e party. Who cares if you kissed girl? You were having fun.”

“What if your parents find out?”

“You think I care? My dad would give me a high-five.”

I growled in frustration.

“Babe, they aren’t going to find out. And who cares if they did.”

“I do.”

“Like my dad said, you need to stop caring about what other people think.”

“I just don’t want people to think I’m les, especially you.”

His mouth spread into a smirk. “I know you aren’t.”

I pulled him close to me and hid my face in his chest.

“Your heard hurt?”

“Yeah,” I said with a groan.

“Take something?”

I nodded.

“Well, it’s bedtime, then.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” I pulled away and looked at him.

“Then tell me about your dream.” He ran his fingers through my hair.

“I would rather you read it instead.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t talk about it.”

He sighed. “Okay.”

“But I don’t think you should.”

“Why?”

“It’ll hurt you.”

He cupped my face. “I’m already in the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, Scar. I hate seeing you scared and scarred. At least now I’ll understand why. Together, we’ll get through it and move on. I’ll carry your burdens for you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what happened.”

“Okay.”

“How about I read it tomorrow when you’re feeling better?”

“Okay.”

“Unless you get wasted again and kiss Janice.”

I glared at him.

“I want to encourage you to explore your sexuality.”

“I only want to explore my sexuality with you.”

“Good answer,” he said with a smile. “Now go to sleep.” His hand moved under my back and he started to rub my muscles while he ran his fingers through my hair.

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“You’re like a child who doesn’t want to take a nap.”

I pulled down my bra so my tits were bare.

His eyes widened and his hand flinched.

I pulled down my underwear while he stared at me.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and his cock sprang to life against my stomach. “I think you’re very emotional right now and should just close your eyes and get some rest.”

“No.”

He stared at me with a heated gaze. “Scarlet.”

“I want to be with you. It makes me feel better.”

“You want to sleep with me because you’re depressed?”

“Yes and no. When we’re together I don’t think about anything else. Our bodies are connected and I feel safe and protected. I know that you love me and I feel that in my heart. It distracts me from my fears and anxieties. I want you to make love to me. It’ll help me relax and fall asleep.”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re marrying me.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?”

“You know what I mean, Scar.”

I pulled down his shorts but he didn’t stop me. “Do I have to beg you?”

“No.”

“Otherwise I’ll call Monnique instead.”