LOVING ELLIE (17 page)

“How did things go today?”

“It was rough.”

“No doubt.  How’s Ellie?”

“Not good.”

“I’m sure hearing Jarrett’s last wishes read had to be hard on her.”

He had no idea.  But it wasn’t his place to tell Blaine what Ellie had decided to do in regards to the baby.  “It was,” he said with a sigh.

“Then I guess she’s probably not up for an outing this weekend.”

“An outing?”  An unexpected surge of jealousy shot through him.  Blaine was asking her out?  How could he?  He was Jarrett’s best friend. 
And you were Jarrett’s brother and you kissed her
, his own conscience reminded him.

“I don’t know if Ellie mentioned it or not, but Victoria’s back.”

“Your Victoria?”  The one who had trampled his friend’s heart years before.

“Yes.”

“Well, that explains how the cows got out again at the Winters’ place,” Lucas said matter-of-factly.

“It wasn’t her doing this time,” Blaine said, coming to her defense, much to Lucas’s surprise. “Her son turned them loose.”

“Her son?”

“He’s not mine,” Blaine promptly stated before Lucas could jump to any conclusions.  Then he went on to tell him what he’d learned, leaving no doubt in Lucas’s mind that his friend still had feelings for Victoria.

That summer he’d been certain there was nothing that could ever come between Blaine and Victoria.  They were crazy stupid in love.  So her actions when she left that summer made no sense.  Now, he understood.  Like Ellie, Victoria had made a difficult choice and had been forced to live with that decision every day of her life. 

“Which is why I was hoping you and Ellie might be able to join us on Sunday,” Blaine said, bringing him back to the conversation.  “I’d rather not be alone with Victoria.”

“Understandable.”

“But it doesn’t sound like Ellie’s going to be up for socializing.”

Victoria had a son she was raising on her own.  Maybe, just maybe...  “On the contrary, I think an outing might be just the thing Ellie needs.”

                                                        *              *              *

“Afternoon.”

Ellie turned from the table she was wiping off to see Blaine standing there.  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I guessed as much.  Everything okay?  Dusty’s not giving you trouble again, is he?”

She pushed the salt and pepper shakers she’d just wiped off up against the wall next to the napkin dispenser.  “No.  I haven’t seen him since that day you walked him out of here.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“So what brings you in?  You don’t usually drink coffee this late in the day.”  It was nearly closing time.

“I got to thinking it might be too cold for you and Victoria to be standing around outside while we’re target shooting tomorrow.  Even if we’re in the barn.  Why don’t we order up some pizza and you two ladies can wait in the house for it to be delivered.  Talk about whatever it is you females talk about.”

She studied him closely as he rambled on.  Blaine was usually a look a person in the face kind of man, but he was looking everywhere else but.  “So you’re offering us the warmth of your house to save us from the cold?”

He sighed.  “That obvious, huh?”

“So what’s the real story?”

His gaze finally locked with hers.  “I promised Victoria’s son we’d practice shooting at targets with our sling shots this weekend, only I hadn’t expected her to want to come along, too.  That’s why I asked you and Lucas to join us.”

She nodded, a smile moving across her face.  “So we can help keep you out of her evil clutches?”

“More like to protect me from doing anything stupid.”

“Like kissing her?”

His eyes widened.  “If I even look like I’m considering it, shoot me.”

“I’d like to help you out, but I don’t own a gun.”

He dragged a hand back through his hair and paced the coffee shop aisle, as if trying to come up with another plan.

“Stop worrying.  It’ll all work out.  If only I could say the same for myself.”

He stopped pacing to look at her.  “Here I am talking about my problems when you’ve had so much to deal with in your own life.  Lucas said the appointment with Jarrett’s attorney was hard for you.”

“You have no idea.”

“I’m sure if Jarrett had any idea he wouldn’t be here, he would have made provisions for you and the baby.  But he-”

“Thought to change his will,” she said.  “I guess after what happened to Anna he wasn’t taking any chances.  He left me financially set and willed me half the ranch.”

“Half?”

“Lucas owns the other half.  But that doesn’t matter.  I’m not taking any of it.”

“What do you mean you’re not taking any of it?  You’re going to need that money for the baby.”

She glanced around the empty room and then walked over to lock the door.  It was time she told Blaine about her decision and didn’t want anyone walking in on their conversation.  Not that everyone else wouldn’t find out soon enough, but Blaine deserved to know what she intended to do before it became public knowledge. 

She motioned to a table.  “You might want to sit down.”

He did without question, but his expression was one of concern. 

She took a seat across from him.  Only this time she was the one not able to look him in the eye.  “I’m giving the baby up for adoption.”

“You’re what?” he exclaimed, his words echoing through the empty room.  “This is a joke, right?”

She wanted to answer, but the words clogged her throat.  All she could do was shake her head and fight back the tears.

“Ellie,” he gasped.  “How can you even consider giving your baby away?”

“I’m doing what’s best for my son.”

“Giving him up is what’s best for him?”

“Yes.”

“How do you figure that?”

She should have known she would have to bring up her past to make him understand.  “I grew up in a broken home,” she explained.  “I won’t do that to my son.”

“Is this about being a single parent?  Because if it will make a difference in whether or not you keep the baby I’ll marry you.”

A tap at the door interrupted his unexpected proposal.  Ellie looked up to find Lucas waving to them through the window pane of the locked door.

She stood and walked over to let him in, locking the door behind him once he’d stepped inside.

“You decided to close up early?” he noted, looking around.  Then his gaze settled on Blaine’s deep cut frown.  “What’s going on?”

“I just asked Ellie to marry me,” Blaine replied stiffly.

“You what?” Lucas said, swinging back around to pin her with his gaze. 

“I told him about my decision to give up the baby.”

Blaine shot up from the chair.  “You knew about this?  I can’t believe you’d let her do this.  That child is your own flesh and blood!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Lucas growled back.  “And you’ll have to get in line with your proposal.  I already asked Ellie to marry me.”

The sheriff’s eyes widened.  “You did?”

Ellie stepped between them and threw up her hands.  “It doesn’t matter who asked when.  I’m not marrying either of you.”  She paused to squeeze her eyes shut. 

“She’s going to cry.”  Lucas moved to wrap his arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the chair she’d been sitting in, easing her into it.  “Give her a moment.  She’ll be all right.”  He turned back to Blaine.  “And for your information I’ve tried my darnedest to talk her out of this, but she’s convinced herself she won’t be a good mother.”

Blaine muttered a curse a he dropped back down into the chair beside him.  “And I thought I had problems.”

                                                        *              *              *

“Well, one down, the rest of the town to go,” Lucas said as they drove back to the ranch. 

“I knew it wouldn’t be easy,” Ellie admitted, “but it was so hard, seeing the shock on Blaine’s face.”

“Multiply that by the rest of the town,” he felt the need to point out.  “It’s only going to get harder.” 

She nodded with a sigh.  “I know.”

“What if people aren’t as forgiving as you hope?  What if they stop coming to the coffee shop?”

The resulting silence told him she hadn’t considered that far ahead.  Sure, she would have prepared herself for their surprise at her decision, but she had grown to love the people there and no doubt hoped they would understand.  How could they when they didn’t know about her past?  At least, not enough to gain their sympathy.  Ellie wouldn’t want it that way which is why she kept her past secreted away.  She welcomed no pity, not even from him.

“It’s a possibility,” he added.  “For that reason alone, you need to accept the money Jarrett left for you.”

She looked over at him, her eyes wide.  “How can you even suggest that, knowing what you do?”

Because I’m going to change your mind. 
“The will didn’t stipulate that you only get the money
if
you keep the baby.”

“Then I’ll have to accept their reasons for doing so and close my shop.  It wouldn’t be the first time I had to move and start again.”

“Or you could marry me, keep the baby, and stay here where you are loved by one and all.”

“Every girl dreams of the day a man will fall in love with her and ask for her hand in marriage.  I’ve now had four proposals, each one brought about by my pregnancy – not love.”

“That’s not true.”

“Jarrett only thought he loved me.”

“I’m not referring to my brother.”

He’d stunned her to silence.

“I’m not sure when it happened,” he continued, “but somewhere along the line I’ve fallen in love with you, Ellie.”

Hope flickered to life in her eyes, but disappeared just as quickly.  “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“It’s not me you love, it’s this child growing inside me.  Don’t confuse the two and make things awkward between us.  Please.”

Stubborn woman.  But she was right.  He hadn’t exactly gone about proposing in a very romantic fashion.  Ellie had a way of making him say things without fully thinking them through, something he’d never done before meeting her.  She made him crazy with her version of logical.

“So the answer is no – again,” she stated determinedly, pulling him from his thoughts.  “Just as it was to Blaine.”

Already frustrated by her refusal to believe him, his expression darkened.  “Speaking of Blaine, what was he thinking asking you to marry him?”

“The same thing you were.  Trying to do the right thing – for the baby.”

He sighed.  “How long are you going to keep doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Pretending there’s nothing more than friendship going on between the two of us when we both know there is.”

She turned to look out the passenger window.  “There can’t be anything between us.”

He reached for her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb.  “I care about you, Ellie.” 

She kept her gaze pinned to the passenger window.  No surprise there.  Stubborn woman.

“I’m tired of trying to convince myself otherwise,” he continued.  “When I heard Blaine had proposed to you I wanted to smash his nose with my fist.”

Her head snapped around at that.  “You were jealous?” 

Her surprise made him smile.  “I’d be lying if I said otherwise.”

“Of Blaine?” she said as if trying to comprehend his reasoning.

“He’s spent a lot of time with you.”

“Not in that way.  Besides, he’s still got a thing for Victoria.”

“Lucky for him,” he muttered.

“Lucas...”  

His expression grew serious.  “I mean it, Ellie.  I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make our situation work – for the baby’s sake.”

“For the baby’s sake?”

That wasn’t what he’d meant.  Not exactly.  Sure, he wanted what was best for the baby, but his idea of ‘best’ was him and Ellie together raising her son.

“This isn’t about the baby.  It’s about us.”

“There is no
us
, Lucas.  Never will be.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said as he pulled up to the house to let her out.  “There is an ‘us’.  You can fight it all you want, but I’m telling you right now I can out-stubborn you any day.  You just watch me.”  As she slid from the Jeep, he called after her, “Never say never, Ellie!”

Because there was more than just the future of his brother’s son riding on it.  Trust was a hard thing for him after what Anna had put him through, but he trusted Ellie.  Enough to put his long-guarded heart on the line. 

CHAPTER TWELVE

“Would you like more juice?” Lucas asked as he carried his empty coffee cup to the sink.

Ellie ran a hand over her stomach.  “No, thank you.  I was lucky I could finish the first glass.”

He chuckled.  “He’s growing like a weed in there.  Then again, Jarrett and I were both pretty big babies so I’m not surprised.”

Her eyes widened.  “Big?  How big?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“Lucas,” she beseeched him, needing to know what she had to look forward to.  Or maybe not look forward to.

“Fine,” he said as he settled back into his seat at the table.  “If I remember right, Jarrett was nine pound something or other.”

“And you?”

“Just over ten.”

“Ten pounds!” she gasped.  “That’s like giving birth to a boulder.”

A grin slid across his face.  “Guess that’s why I grew up to be so rock hard.”  He turned in his chair and posed, flexing his biceps playfully.

Ellie wadded up her napkin and threw it at him.  “Spare me the gun show.  I’m being serious here.”

“You’re worrying over nothing.”

“Nothing?” she gasped.  “Only a man would say something like that.  Nine or ten pounds is a huge baby.  I’ll split in half if I give birth to a baby that size.”

“Lord help me if I end up with two halves of you.  It would be like living with two frustratingly stubborn, female bookends,” he replied, his husky laughter filling the room.

She elbowed him playfully in the ribs. 

Lucas leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.  “Seriously, Ellie.  Stop worrying.  A pregnant woman’s body can do amazing things.”

“As in pushing a watermelon through a donut hole?”

He snorted, a wide grin sliding across his face. “Nothing to it.”

The sound of his laughter warmed her from the inside out.  “Keep it up,” she warned, “and you might find yourself in the delivery room with me.  We’d see how brave you are then.”

“Thanks, but I have every intention of sticking it out in the waiting room when the time comes.”

She’d actually never given any thought to that.  Jarrett would have gone into the birthing room with her, but with no family to speak of she would be on her own.  Unless...  Her gaze shifted to Lucas.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked nervously.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re about to make me do something I really don’t want to do.”

“What if I want you in the birthing room with me?  This is your nephew I’m giving birth to, you know.”

“And he’ll be my nephew whether I’m in that delivery room or not.  You’re better off asking someone else to go in with you.”

“Like who?”

“Mrs. Pearson.”

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d be afraid of squeezing her hand too hard during a contraction and hurting her.  Her arthritis is really bad these days, you know.”

“I hadn’t thought about that.  Well, then how about Mrs. Mulrooney or Victoria?”

“I don’t know them well enough.”  She stood and carried her plate and cup to the sink.  “It’s okay though.  I’m used to doing things on my own.”

“I’ll do it.”

She glanced over her shoulder to find him standing behind her.  “What did you say?” 

“That I’ll be there with you when you’re in labor.  If you really want me to be.”

She turned, staring up at him in surprise.  “You would do that for me?”

“If you want me there, I’m there.”  He reached for his hat, placing it on his head.  “But I’m warning you up front that I can’t promise I won’t run for the hills the first time I hear you cry out in pain.”

He would do that for her, even knowing they would be turning the baby over to his new parents soon after.  She fought the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

“You’re not going to cry again, are you?”

She smiled.  “I’m trying not to.  And you’re in luck, cowboy, because I never scream.”

“I kinda like it when you call me that,” he said with a grin as he reached out to smooth his fingers along her jaw.  “And what have I told about using that word – never?” Something akin to desire flickered to life in his blue eyes as his gaze drifted down to her lips, lingering there.  “I can think of a few things that would drag a scream right out of you.”

A flutter of excitement stirred in her belly, one that had nothing at all to do with the baby she was carrying.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The doorbell rang, making her jump almost guiltily.

“I’ll get it,” he said, his hand falling away.

She watched him go, her body and mind at war.  Why did she have to be so attracted to him?  But it was more than that.  He was making her vulnerable.  Making her want things that could never be. 

Grinning, Lucas went to answer the door.  He was finally winning Ellie over.  He could feel it in his gut, and his gut was rarely ever wrong.  He just had to continue to be patient.

He thought back to the conversation they’d been having before the doorbell rang and his grin faded.  Had he really volunteered to go into the delivery room with her?  Of all the stupid things to agree to, knowing how he’d reacted to something as simple as the baby kicking her.  What would he do when the ‘watermelon’ headed for the ‘donut hole’? 

He opened the door to find a messenger waiting.  The adoption paperwork Greg had promised to get out to them right away had arrived.  After signing for the oversized envelope, he closed the door, no longer smiling, and headed back to the kitchen.

Ellie turned from the sink with a smile when he returned.  “Who was it?”

“A messenger.”

“Messenger?”

He held up the package.  “Your prospective parents.”  That said he dropped the envelope onto the table.

She stared at it as if it were a snake about to strike.  “Oh.”

He pulled out a chair and settled into it.  “Well, aren’t you going to open it?  Time is of the essence.”

“Of course.”  He didn’t miss the tremble in her hand as she hung the dishtowel she’d been drying dishes with over the front of the sink.

That response told him she wasn’t overly eager to begin the process.  He watched as Ellie crossed the room in that sexy little waddle he loved so much to take a seat across from him.  But she didn’t reach for the package.

“Want me to open it?” he asked.

She shook her head.  “No.  I can do it.”

He watched as she peeled open the end flap and slid the stack of papers out.  An assortment of hopeful couples, their pictures, life histories and what they had to bring to the table as far as her son was concerned. 

A growing ache in his jaw brought Lucas’s attention to the tension that filled him.  His teeth were clenched together in an effort not to voice his protests.  His back was rigid.  His shoulders tight.  This was killing him.  He could only imagine what it was doing to her. 

She leafed through each of the binder clipped files, taking extra time to gaze upon the pictures of the loving couples.

They
could be a loving couple if she’d stop letting the past rule her life.  All she had to do was trust in him.  Was that so much to ask?  For Ellie, he supposed it was.

“They seem like a nice couple,” she said halfheartedly, pushing a file across to Lucas.

He forced himself to flip through the pages.  He was supposed to be a part of this, but everything about it felt wrong.  He felt for the couples who more than deserved to have a child to love, but he’d be darned if that child would be his nephew.  No matter how perfect any of the couples might be.

“If you don’t mind stern parents,” he muttered.

She looked up from the file she was going through.  “What do you mean?”

He held up the page with the couple’s picture on it.  “See the lines etched between their brows.  It tells me they scrunch their brows a lot – a sure sign of sternness.”

She pushed the file aside.  “That’s not what I want for my son.”

He had to admit he felt a pinch of guilt for making something out of nothing.  There hadn’t been the smallest hint of moodiness in that couple’s picture, but he was a man on a mission and that mission was to find fault with each and every couple vying for Ellie’s approval.

                                                        *              *              *

Blaine tried to busy himself in the barn, but all he could think about was seeing Victoria again.  How would he handle being near her for what could amount to hours?  And if Lucas and Ellie decided not to join them – what then?  It was possible, seeing as how it was already a quarter past one and no one had arrived yet.  Victoria would be there.  J.B. would see to that. 

He sighed.  He really had to stop driving himself crazy with all the thoughts bouncing around in his head.  But Victoria’s unexpected return had set off a barrage of feelings he couldn’t quite get a grip on.  Throw in Ellie’s decision to give her baby up for adoption and his emotional plate was becoming too blasted full.

His dog, a three year old Chocolate Labrador Retriever, sprang to its feet at the sound of an approaching car.

“Looks like our company’s arrived.  Come on, Girl.”  He made his way out of the barn, his dog at his side.

Relief swept through him when he saw Lucas rounding the rental Jeep he’d been driving since returning to Eagle Ridge.  They’d beaten Victoria there.  The passenger door opened and his friend helped Ellie out, his hand supporting her back as they turned and started toward the house.”

Blaine strode across the snow-blanketed yard to meet them.  “You guys came.”

“We said we would,” Lucas said with a chuckle, no doubt sensing Blaine’s relief.  “Hey, Girl,” he said, reaching out to scratch the dog behind a long, floppy ear.

The dog moved on to greet Ellie.

“So I finally get to meet you,” she said, kneeling for a wet kiss on the cheek.  She glanced up at Blaine.  “I still think you might have put a little more effort into naming her.”

He grinned.  “I did.  Otherwise I’d have named her Boy.”

A second vehicle came up the drive then, drawing their attention. 

“Victoria,” Blaine muttered anxiously as the compact car pulled up next to Lucas’s Jeep.  A second later, the passenger door swung open and J.B. shot out like his britches were lit on fire.

“Stay,” Blaine commanded his dog as the young boy scampered toward them, waving excitedly.

“Sheriff!”

Blaine waved back.  Then Victoria stepped from the car, her glorious gold-red hair lifting in the breeze, and his breath hitched.

“She’s beautiful,” Ellie said softly.

He didn’t need reminding of that.  He saw her face every time he closed his eyes.  “Today is about helping her son.  Nothing more,” Blaine stated flatly, more of a reminder to himself.

J.B. charged through the snow, slingshot in hand.  “I thought today would never get here.”

Blaine felt some of the tension filling him ease and he chuckled at the boy’s enthusiasm.  “I see you brought your slingshot.”

“You got yours?” the kid asked, eyeing Blaine’s empty hands.

Blaine reached behind him and pulled his own, well-aged slingshot from the back pocket of his jeans.  “You betcha.”

Lucas pulled one from his coat pocket and said with a grin, “Count me in.”

The boy looked up at Lucas questioningly.

“J.B., this here overgrown cowboy who thinks he’s gonna outshoot us today is my good friend, Lucas Tanner.”

The boy’s smile widened.  “Are you a real cowboy?”

“I suppose you could say that,” Lucas answered with a grin.

J.B.’s gaze shifted to the Chocolate Lab at Blaine’s side.  “Is he yours?”

“
She
is mine,” he corrected.  “Her name is Girl.”

The boy looked up at him.  “Girl?”

Ellie giggled softly.

“You can pet her,” Blaine said.  “She doesn’t bite.”

Victoria joined the group with a smile.  “Sorry we’re late.  Something came up.”

Blaine’s brow lifted.  “Nothing to do with cows or ladders, I hope.”

“No, sir,” J.B. replied.  “Aunt Myra was talking to my mom about selling the ranch.”

He shot a questioning glance her way. 

“It’s become too much for them to take care of,” Victoria explained.  “She wanted to know if I was interested in buying them out since we’re looking for a place to live.”

“So will you?” he asked.

“No.  I don’t know anything about keeping up a ranch.”

“It’s a lot of work,” Ellie chimed in.  “Take it from someone who knows.”

From the moment Victoria joined them, Blaine had forgotten anyone else was standing there.  He needed thumped upside the head with his slingshot for his poor manners.  “Ellie, this is Victoria...”