Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) (20 page)

Rylee

The trip upstairs to collect my clothes is not as eventful
as the trip down memory lane in the living room, but it is haunting regardless.
Austin stays close and we collect a sizeable portion of my wardrobe to take to
his place. The thought of ever sleeping in this room again sends a shiver down
my spine. After a quick round of catch you laters, we make the short drive up
the street.

I pull around the circular drive to park next to the front
step. To my surprise, Austin pulls in behind me instead of going around to the
garage as usual.

“Hey, why are you parking out front?” I ask, confused.

“I could ask you the same question. Why do you refuse to
park in the garage?” His tone conveys a playful nature, but his body language
and eyes tell me this might be a point of contention.

“I don’t know, Aus. We never really discussed any of this,”
I say with a shrug.

“Well, that’s true, but you have to know that I don’t want
you anywhere else. You’re not a guest. Why don’t we go inside and eat dinner? Let
me tell you what I need to tell you, and then if you still want to discuss this,
we will. No point in dealing with what may be a moot point later.”

He shoulders hang, cloaked by an air of gloom.

I am worried about what Austin needs to get off his chest,
but I am also just ready to deal with it and move on. I cannot imagine it is as
bad as he seems to believe. We need to move out from under the ever-present
black cloud shading our lives.

Inside his cozy home, Austin further tenses up. The cyclical
nature of doom and gloom around us is making me crazy. As if by instinct, Austin
crosses the room to let Boss out before turning back.

“What do you want to do for dinner?”

Uncertainty flashes through his eyes as he watches me walk
towards him, while I simultaneously remove my shoes and convey my less than
pure intentions. I sling my shirt over my head, revealing my black lace bra.

His eyes say yes even as he mumbles, “Ry, come on. We need
to talk.”

Ignoring his words and focusing on his body, I shimmy out of
my jeans and toss them aside. As I reach him, my hands go to his chest, only to
be met with mild resistance. He holds my wrists to prevent my exploration of
his delicious body.

“Rylee, please. We need to - ”

I stop him with a well-timed kiss. He falls into rhythm with
me and I feel at home when he wraps his arms around me, lifting me to him.

My legs intuitively circle around him as he moves us towards
the sofa. My fingers slide down his back, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt.
He stops us at the back of the couch and sets me atop it before breaking the
connection I have desperately missed.

“Ry, baby, I want this more than anything, but there is
something I really need to tell you.”

My frustration mounts as the throbbing in my core continues.
He runs a hand through his light brown hair and I can see the trepidation in
his now dark blue eyes. I know I should be more concerned with what he has to
say than my overwhelming desire to take him to bed, but I need to feel our
connection before another outside force enters our space. I want to know that
he still loves me the way I love him. Completely.

My head falls to his chest as I try to explain my need for
him. His hands run up my back in a reassuring and comforting stroke.

“I am ready to hear anything you have to say, Aus. But I
need you. I need to be us for a little while. We are struggling and I want to
face whatever it is with you right next to me. Can’t we put it on hold for just
a little bit? I need you. I need us. Can you love me for a little while,
please? Austin.”

My voice cracks and betrays my vulnerability. I hate that I
need him so much, but he makes my heart beat stronger. He makes my air sweeter.
He makes my life worlds better and, if I have to depend on him a little, I can.

“Shit, Ry. I am so sorry, baby. Don’t cry. I hate when you
cry and it is even worse when it's my fault.”

He guides my gaze to him before wiping the stray tears from
beneath my eyes.

“You are so beautiful, you know that? And to answer your
question, I will love you forever.” His careful smile pulls the same from me as
I stare into eyes. I am desperate to find my connection with him. I want to
feel the way only he can make me feel—like I belong, loved, cherished. Like
everything we have been through is worth it. 

The first gentle brush of his lips to mine set my world back
on its axis. The kiss begins soft and slow as he pulls me back into him before
starting the trek upstairs. Desperate to feel him against me, I tug the back of
his shirt up and over his head before tossing it to the ground. His hard chest
against my aroused skin is like gasoline on a fire. My entire body comes to
life against him.

By the time we cross the threshold to the master suite, we are
in a frenzy. His mouth is making its way down my neck when he lowers me to the
bed and masterfully unclasps my bra. He stands to remove his pants after I
fumble with the button. Only our underwear separates us as the room lights with
passion.

He guides my foot to his shoulder and kisses the instep,
sending a pulse straight to my core. The kisses continue up my leg towards my
sweet spot before he lightly blows against my drenched sex. The next kiss finds
my clenched stomach. The next between my breasts. My entire body aches for more
of him.

I claw at his shoulders as he pulls my nipple into his warm mouth.
He moves towards my other pebbled nipple with a sensuous blow that sends me
spiraling into need.

Leaning back, he gazes at my aroused state before slowly
removing my panties. He holds my stare the entire time and in his eyes I see the
connection I have missed. My love for him is reflected in his burning blue
eyes. Everything I needed to feel comes rushing in and I remember why I love
him so damn much. He is my world, my soul, my love.

He stalks over me as I spread my legs, giving him easy
access to the place I desperately want him. He lowers himself and finds my lips
with an all-consuming kiss before sliding into me. Our bodies still as we take in
the feeling of completion.

Before moving a fraction, Austin kisses down my cheek to my
ear and whispers, “I love you.”

My body trembles with need, anticipation, and love. Just as
I begin to repeat the words to him, he moves within me, causing my words to
become a garbled noise somewhere between
I love
you
and
ahh
yes
. My legs circle around him, bringing him deeper within me. I want him
closer, if that is even possible.

Reading my unspoken need, he slides his arms under my back and
holds us together as he sets a sensual pace with his thrusts. His hips circle
and I near the edge when he nips at my neck, knowing it is my weak spot and sure
to send me over the edge.

My legs and sex clench around him. Pleasure shatters my
world and I hold him close. His movements still as I ride out my wave of
ecstasy, before he thrusts into me, chasing his own orgasm. Our lips collide as
he slams into me a few final times before finding his own release. We lie bound
together, motionless, with no sounds other than our ragged breathing.

Austin shifts his weight, removing himself from within me
and my body immediately protests. He pulls me close to him with my head on his
chest and his face nuzzled in my hair. I am a mess of emotions and post-coital
bliss as he strokes my back. I needed this and I need him. His need to talk is
on the fringe of my mind as I wrap myself across him.

The room remains quiet as we come down off our shared high.

I break the silence. “I love you, Austin Black.”

“I love you, too, Rylee.”

The silence returns, but it is anything but comfortable. I
feel the tension begin to radiate through him. I am torn between asking him
what is wrong and trying to enjoy a few more moments of us when he speaks
again.

“Rylee, I have a son.”

Rylee

Holy shit, did I hear him correctly? Did he say he has a
son? Way to ruin the euphoria of a killer round of lovemaking.

I don’t know what to say or think after that statement. I
mean, it’s life-altering information. Definitely not something I expected to
come out of his mouth. Judging by the tension and his odd behavior over the
past few days, I can safely assume it came as a shock to him, too.

What should I say? I have never wanted children, a fact he knows.
Oh, shit. That is why he thought I might leave him. Jesus, what kind of person
does he think I am? Of course, I guess it would depend on how old the child is.
So long as this procreation happened before we were together, I cannot be upset.
Although this changes things … or does it? Shit, I don’t know. Holy shit.

My mind is racing and I am suddenly aware of his heart pounding
against my ear. How long have I laid here without acknowledging his confession?
My silence must be deafening, but I have no clue what to say. I guess I was sort
of hoping he would elaborate.

With no words coming to fruition, I run my hand up his stressed
chest in a silent gesture of support before kissing him just above his heart. His
body relaxes slightly as his arm curls around me. I know I should sit up and
face him, but I want to get my jumbled thoughts straight first.

We lay in silence for a few minutes before he breaks.

“Ry, are you still with me baby?”

I cannot contain the whirlwind of thoughts and scenarios
running through my head, so I respond with a simple, “Uh huh.”

“Are you ready to hear the rest?” His words are cautious, as
if they could be the ones to send me flying from the room.

I realize in this moment that this is important to him and
that it is about him, not me. I have to pull it together and support him. That
is, if this occurred pre-Rylee. I take a second to settle myself before sitting
up to face him. Pulling the sheet over my exposed body, I look him in the eyes
and give him a small smile.

“I can honestly say I did not see that one coming, Aus. I’m
here, though. I want to hear everything you want to tell me.”

Running a nervous hand through his hair, he pushes up to
lean against the head of the bed, leaving only his chest exposed above the
sheets. In any other situation, I would be ready to run my tongue and hands
across every peak and valley visible. However, I have to shelve my libido for
now and focus on the heart and mind of my beautiful man.

He takes a breath and exhales with a whooshing sound. “This
is such a fucked up mess, Ry. I don’t know where to start.”

A storm of emotion is brewing in his eyes. Taking his hand
and lacing it with my own, I quietly suggest he start at the beginning.

“So when I was seventeen, soon to be a senior in high
school, I was madly in love with my girlfriend, Amanda. Shortly before our
final year of high school, Amanda found out that she was pregnant. Our parents
refused to let us see one another after that. It wasn’t until one night around
Christmas I saw her again. That night my buddy Alex and I were hanging out having
a few beers when she showed up, several months along. I was still smitten with
her and vowed that we would fight our parents together. When it came time to
leave that night, Alex had to take her home since I was on my motorcycle and I
didn’t want her to ride with me in her condition. I was following them back
down the hill when I saw Alex swerve to avoid something. The car slammed into a
tree.” He pauses…“I panicked and ran for the car, trying to pull her out, but
the impact was on the passenger side and I couldn’t get to her. I had to go on
down the hill to call for help. It was forty-five minutes later when they
finally got her out of the car. She was still unconscious. Alex was arrested,
and I followed the ambulance to the hospital. That was the last time I ever saw
Amanda. Once her parents arrived, they had me escorted out of the hospital
after telling me that my child was dead and I was never allowed near their
daughter again. They also slapped me with a restraining order, which prevented
me from attending the funeral of my child. I tried, Rylee, I really did, but
they would not let me anywhere near Amanda.”

Austin stops and I cannot believe the story I have just
heard, or how it relates to his current situation. The tears in his eyes tell
me how much he is hurting and just how much this beautiful man has endured
alone. I cannot imagine being barred from your own child’s funeral.

Hoping to provide a small measure of comfort, I slide to him
and wrap both arms around his waist, holding him as he tries to regain his
composure. I feel his tears drop onto my bare shoulder and my heart breaks. I
don’t know how, or what it will require, but I will help him through this.

“Austin, I am so sorry. I know that doesn’t help, but just
know I’m here no matter what, okay? I love you, baby.”

He takes a few more moments before continuing his story in a
rush of words.

“So after graduation, I gave up trying to find Amanda and
moved on to focus on school and football. My mom never allowed me to talk about
the baby, so I tried to move past it in the only way I knew how - football.
Anyway, a few weeks ago my mom ran into Amanda, who had a young boy around the
age of nine with her. She called me later that day, screaming that they lied
all those years ago. She said the boy was the spitting image of me at that age.
I wrote it off for a day or two, but she wouldn’t let it go. That’s when I went
down there the first time. It turns out she wasn't crazy and the little boy
looks just like me. After a confrontation with both Amanda and her parents, my
lawyers demanded a paternity test. That is what I went down there for this last
time. I knew he was mine from the time I first saw him, but the test was
necessary. Anyway, it came back positive. He is my son, the one they told me was
dead ten years ago. I haven’t met him yet. My lawyers are trying to work out
the rest now.”

Holy crap! How in the world could people do this to Austin?
He is one of the beautiful souls in this world. Why wasn’t he there for the
results? What will everything else entail? My mind is racing when I see those gorgeous
pools of blue focused on me, waiting for my reaction.

“I don’t know what to say. I am shocked, overwhelmed, and
pissed off on your behalf.”

The pissed off comment earns me a smile and a small chuckle.
“I know what you mean, Ry. I have run the gamut of reactions since I found out
for sure, but I feel a lot better now that you know everything. Keeping all of
this from you was killing me. Can you give me some idea where you’re at?”

“What’s his name?” I don’t know why I ask that question, but
I feel like I need a name to make him real.

“Ryker. His name is Ryker. Amanda named him after me.” His
shy smile tells me he is pleased with that little factoid.

Austin Ryker Black. How did I not know his middle name?

“Well, that has to mean something, right?”

He laughs. “Yeah, it means her parents didn’t know my middle
name.”

 “So you haven’t met him yet? Why not?”

After I ask, I realize he wasn’t there because he came back
for me. The look of compassion on his face tells me I’m correct in my
assumption. Now I feel like a complete asshole.

“Austin, you should have stayed. This is a huge thing in
your life. Why did you come back? It can’t be good that you skipped out your
meeting to come home to your murderous girlfriend. Oh my God, are they trying
to use my situation against you?”

He laughs again, confusing me in my new, somewhat hysterical,
state.

“Calm down, Ry. I came back because you are it for me. It
was a rash decision, but at the time nothing there was certain. You are certain
for me. You’re it, baby. I never thought twice about getting here to be with
you.”

Great. Now my tears are coming, because even in the middle
of something life-changing, he chose me. If I wasn’t already completely in love
with him, I would be now.

“But Aus, what if they try to use me to keep you away from your
son?”

He pulls me into him, kissing my head, with a smile on his
face. Why he is smiling, I will never understand.

“Ry, they have already tried that and it didn’t fly with the
judge. You did nothing wrong. All you did was show that you are a strong woman
capable of taking care of yourself and those around you. According to Ruzek,
you are a hero. Trust me, the judge took the word of the Boston Police
Department over the words of the people who lied to the world for ten years.”

“So if they aren’t holding anything over you, what do you do
now?”

“Well, my lawyers say I have options, considering the wealth
of damaging evidence against Amanda and her parents. They say I could push for
full custody if I want, but I don’t think it would be right to take Ryker away
from his mom. She loves him and I know she is a good person, despite the things
she has done.”

His reaction does not surprise me, because Austin is one of
the true-blue good guys in the world. He could go after that family for all
they are worth, but, as usual, he puts the needs of everyone else first. I have
no doubt that he will be a great dad. Ryker is one lucky boy; he just doesn’t
know it yet.

“Well, I want you to know that no matter what you decide, I
will be with you every step of the way. I’m here for you. You tell me what you
need and you’ll get it.”

“All I need is that, Ry. All I need is you. If you are by my
side, I know we can figure this thing out. I love you, Rylee Ash.”

“I love you too.”