Loving Her (13 page)

“Ry….oh God.” 

“I know, baby.  Hot as hell to
watch, isn’t it?”  He helped me off the counter and carried me over to the rug
near my fireplace.  His cock looked like it was about to rip through his pants.

I laid there, wide open just
waiting for him to take me again.  I started to caress my own breasts as I
watched my hot man undress and release his rock hard cock.  “Jen…you look
absolutely gorgeous laying there, wide open for me.”  I smiled and watched him
look at my entire body waiting for him.

He kneeled down to me and sucked
one breast, grazing it with his teeth and started to push into me, but I pushed
his chest and said, “Roll over, baby.”

He laid on his back and watched
me as I stood over him then sank down on his massive erection, taking him all
the way to the hilt.  We both gasped at how much deeper he felt like this.  I
stayed upright and started riding him.  His mouth was agape as his pleasure was
consuming him. 

“You feel so good, baby.”  I
moaned.

He couldn’t talk.  He just said
“Mine!”

I smiled as he claimed me again. 
I loved every way Rylan claimed me.

I hissed as I felt him grow
inside of me right before his release.  His cock twitching in me had me coming
right along with him.  I rode him, milking everything out of his body and into
mine.  It made me feel sexy and wanted.

As we slowed our breathing down,
Ry said, “You think we’ll be able to leave here to go out tonight?”

I laughed and said, “Maybe.  But
right now, I just want to think about what I’m feeling this very second.”

“Oh yeah?  And, what’s that, baby?”

“I feel wanted.  Kind of a new
feeling for me.”  I said shyly.

Rylan sat up to wrap his arms
around me, our bodies still connected.  “Yes, baby.  You are absolutely
wanted….by me.”  He kissed me gently and I couldn’t help but to slowly grind
myself against his semi hard penis still in me. 

We made sweet love….yes love was
what I felt.  Then, we got up and took a shower together.  I was falling fast
for my wonderful man. 

I couldn’t believe everything
that I was feeling about Jen.  I was scared shitless and trying not to show
it.  I certainly never wanted to tell her how afraid I was.   It was my hang-up
and it really had nothing to do with her.  It all had to do with the guilt surrounding
Kristen.  Tonight was going to be an incredible test for me, but I was ready
for it….a least that was what I kept telling myself. 

After our incredible afternoon
and our conversation, I was feeling a little more secure about meeting Romyn
and Mia at the club.  The feeling that I should have prepped Jen a little more
about my life kept niggling at me.  I didn’t think that my brother or Mia would
say or do anything that might upset her, but things slip out sometimes and I
wasn’t sure she was ready to here all the details about my life with Kristen. 
That was a subject for another time.

Difficult as it was, we stopped
groping each other long enough to dress and leave for the club at eight
o’clock.  I was grateful I had packed a change of clothes that morning in case
I ended up not going back to my house after dropping Jen off after work.  Good
thinkin’ ole boy!

Jen seemed a little nervous on
our drive, so I slipped my hand into hers and intertwined our fingers as she
looked out the window.  She looked down at our hands then up at me and smiled.

“Whatcha thinking, babe?”  I asked”

“Nothing really.  Just sort of
letting my mind drift.”  She was lying.  It was pretty obvious.

“Jen.  They will love you. 
Okay?”

She smiled, but it was just a
reflex.  She didn’t say anything and turned back to look out the window.  I
lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, but she didn’t look at me.

We pulled into the parking lot
and made our way inside, stopping at the bar to get a drink.  As we approached
the table where Romyn and Mia were sitting, I heard Mia gasp and put on a huge
grin.  Bazaar.

“Hi guys.”  I said as we
approached.  Mia stood and hugged me as Ro and I shook hands.  “This is Jen. 
Jen, my much uglier brother Romyn and my gorgeous sister-in-law Mia.”  They all
laughed and Mia leaned over and gave Jen a hug.  I heard Jen take in a sharp
breath.

“Oh my gosh.  It’s so nice to
meet you, Jen.”  Mia glanced at me and I saw unshed tears in her eyes.  I shook
my head slightly at her letting her know she needed to control her emotions. 
She blinked back at me and gathered herself as the embrace ended.

“Right.  Nice to meet you, Jen. 
How’s this brother of mine treating you?  Good, I hope?”  Romyn….such the
charmer.

Jen laughed and said, “Yes, he
treats me very well.  And, it’s great to meet you both.  Ry has told me nothing
but good things about you two.”

I saw Mia’s face and heard her
shocked breath at the sound of Jen calling me Ry.  Fuck!  She needed to get her
shit under control before Jen noticed all the emotional reactions Mia was
having to my new relationship.

We all sat down and I flagged the
waitress over for more drinks.  Yeah, we hadn’t even finished the ones from the
bar, but I needed more…and fast. 

“So, Jen.  Rylan tells me you
work for the competition?”  Thanks, Ro.  He’s always good at finding some
bullshit to talk about to fill the empty space.

Jen laughed and said, “As a
matter of fact, I do.  I’m just waiting to make my move and steal some of his
clients.”  Romyn chuckled loudly at my shocked face and clapped me on the back
as I choked on my drink. 

“Dude, I like her already.  Give
him a run for his money, girl.”  Romyn was just hilarious.

I looked at Jen’s face and she
was working to stifle a laugh.  She placed her hand on my knee and squeezed
before winking at me.  She was so full of crap and I loved it. 

I placed my hand on hers and
leaned in to whisper in her ear.  “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that one, baby. 
Just you wait till we get back to my place.”  She shivered a little then looked
over into my face and I saw her desire flash through her eyes as I gave her a
wicked grin.

The normally chatty Mia was just
sitting and staring at the two of us.  She had a smile on her face, but her
eyes were telling a different story.  I think she was sad or
worried….something.  I didn’t want to think on it too much, but I needed her to
snap the hell out of it…..and fast.

“Mia, when are you guys headed
back?”  She paused for a few seconds then snapped her eyes away from me to Jen
as she registered Jen’s question.

“Our flight leaves tomorrow.” 
Finally, speak, woman, speak.

“You guys are living in
Scottsdale, right?”  Mia shook her head at Jen’s question.  “I have a good
friend from college that moved there a few years ago.”

“Really?  You didn’t tell me
that.”  I said.

Jen looked at me and said,
“Yeah.  Well, I didn’t know your brother and Mia were living there so I guess
there wasn’t a reason to bring it up.”  Smartass.

“True,” was all I could say.  She
was right. 

We chatted for a bit as we sucked
down our drinks.  Mia was really quiet, but kept up a small conversation with
Jen.  It was mostly Ro and me that filled the evening with chatter.  I didn’t
have the energy to dwell on why Mia was acting strange.  I assumed it had
something to do with seeing me with someone new. 

I turned to Jen at one point and
said, “Let’s go dance.”

“Sure.”  She seemed to be
handling things well.  She appeared comfortable and relaxed.

We moved to the dance floor and I
circled my arms around her waist.  “Hi.”  I said as I leaned into her ear.

“Hi yourself.”  She rubbed her sexy
body against mine and I grinned. 

“Mmm…you feel really good against
me, baby.”  I said and she pressed into me more as we moved to the slow sensual
sound of the music. 

“Your brother and Mia are really
nice.  Thank you for bringing me here to meet them.”  There was something in
here voice that made me lean back and look into her face.  Her eyes looked a
little sad even with the smile on her face.  It made my heart skip.

“You okay?  Something wrong?”  I
was almost afraid to ask.

“I’m fine.”  She snuggled her
face into my neck and kept dancing. 

We danced for a few songs, not
saying anything else.  She felt amazing moving with my body.  We fit perfectly
together.

When the song ended, I took her
hand and started to walk us back to the table.  Jen tugged and said
“Bathroom.” 

I smiled, kissed her hand and
said, “Okay.”

When I reached the table, Mia was
gone and Ro was ordering another round of drinks.  “Where’s Mia?”

“Bathroom.”  I nodded my head and
sat back in my chair, taking a long swig of my beer.

“I really like her, man.  Things
going well with you guys?”  I knew this conversation was coming from Ro. 

“Actually, yes.  I feel like I’m
waking up after one hell of a long sleep.”  I paused.  “I really like her,
too.”  Romyn just smiled and nodded his head.  He wasn’t much of a talker and I
was grateful.

We sat a talked about both our
jobs, leaving the ‘Jen’ conversation where it was until the girls made their way
back to our table several minutes later.  As a matter of fact, they had been
gone for almost twenty minutes.

Immediately, I noticed the look
on Jen’s face.  I could have sworn she had been crying.  I stood up as she got
closer and said, “What’s wrong, babe?”

She held her hand up to me and
tried to grin, but I saw the tears form in her eyes.  “Rylan, I need to go
home.  I’ll call you later.”  She grabbed her purse and headed for the door. 
But, I was in hot pursuit.  She wasn’t going to run out on
me
!

I grabbed her arm, spinning her
around and said, “Jen, wait.  What the hell is going on?”  As soon as she
turned I saw the tears running down her face.  “Please, baby.  Tell me what has
you so upset.”

She touched my cheek with her
hand and said, “Rylan.”  She closed her eyes, letting more tears escape then
said, “I’m okay.  I’m just not feeling well and it is making me do this.”  She
made a circling motion in front of her face.  “I’m going to catch a cab and go
home.  Please, stay here.  I don’t want to ruin the evening.”  She leaned in
and kissed my cheek, letting her lips linger for longer than normal.  The
feeling set off huge red flags, but I didn’t know why.

“I’ll drive you home, baby.  I
can take care of you, make you feel better.”

“No.  Please stay with your
family and enjoy the night….for me.  Please.”  She was practically begging.

I didn’t understand.  I looked
back at Mia and Romyn and saw a strange look on both their faces.  When I
turned to Jen, she smiled a slight smile and said, “It’s fine.  Really.  Just
go enjoy them.”  This time she kissed my lips and said, “Good-bye.”

I felt like someone kicked me in
the balls.  That word didn’t sound right for the situation, but before I could
shake it off and move my feet, she was gone out the door.  I ran past the
bouncer and saw her jumping into a cab.  She looked at me and tried to smile as
she blew me a kiss.  I waved some weird, hesitant wave, shook my head and
walked back inside.  What the hell had just happened?

Pain.  That was all I felt.  I
sobbed all the way home in the cab.  The driver kept looking at me in the
mirror to see what the hell I was doing.  Finally, he said, “Ma’am?  Are you
okay?  Did that guy do something to you that I need to report or at least beat
his ass over?”

I couldn’t help the small laugh. 
“No.  Just a bad night.” 

“If you say so.”  He kept
driving.  In fact, I’m pretty sure he started driving faster to get me the hell
out of his damn cab.

I wanted to call Emily, but my
emotions were too raw. 

He was married.  But, she
died…five years ago.  And, I looked just like her.  Mia told me.  I could feel
the bile rising in my throat.

When I made my way to the
bathroom, I was already feeling a little off.  Mia was freaking me the hell out
all evening.  She kept staring at me.  And, I didn’t miss her gasps and
complete shock when I called Rylan ‘Ry’ or the weird deep breathing she was
doing whenever Rylan touched me or I touched him.  At first, I thought she just
didn’t like me, but when I walked into the bathroom and saw her there…standing
by the mirror….crying, and I knew something was very wrong.

She turned to me, threw herself
at me wrapping her arms around me and squeezed.  “Mia?”

She gasped and let go of me. 
“Oh, God, Jen.  I’m sorry.”

“What’s going on?  Why are you in
here crying?”

“I’m sorry.  I can’t.”  She made
a move to leave, but I blocked her way.

“Please.  Tell me.  Is it me? 
You don’t like me?”  My words weren’t harsh.  They were almost a whisper.

“Oh God no, Jen!”  She covered
her mouth.  She shook her head and continued.  “I think you’re so great.  It’s
just…”  She started to cry again.

“Mia?  You’re scaring me a
little.  I want to help.”

“Jen.  I don’t know how to say
this.”

“Just say it and we will figure
something out.”

That’s when my whole world fell
apart.

Rylan had been married to his
college sweetheart.  She died not long after they married.  They moved back to
San Diego from New York when she got sick so they could be near family.  Her
name was Kristen and he loved her madly.  He hadn’t dated anyone until
now….until me.  Mia was happy he was moving on until she saw me.  I looked like
Kristen.  She didn’t want me to know, but she was there…in that bathroom…crying
because her heart was breaking for
me
because I didn’t know….because I
had no clue about
her
…..about Kristen.  I wasn’t mad.  No, I was
completely devastated.

I stood there and let the tears
fall as Mia told me all of this.  I felt my heart break, not just for me but
for Rylan and all he had lost.  Mia didn’t think he even consciously realized
that I looked like her.  She had known him long enough to be able to make that
judgment.  She and I stood in that bathroom and just cried until we knew we had
to go back to the table. 

“Jen.  I’m sorry.  I don’t want
you to leave.  Stay.  Please.  You and Rylan can talk this all out tomorrow.”

“No.  I need to go, Mia.  I need
some time to process all this.”  I paused.  “Thank you.  He is so lucky to have
you in his life.”  She started crying harder and reached to hug me.

“Jen.  I’m so sorry.  I just
wanted you to know…to be aware of what was happening.  I didn’t want you to get
hurt.”

“Mia.  It’s okay.  I’ll be okay. 
Would you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”  She sobbed.

“Just back me up when I tell him
I’m leaving.  I’ll say I feel sick and will catch a cab.  Convince him to stay
here with you guys to ‘visit’ with each other.  Please.”

“Of course, Jen.  Here, let me
call a cab for you before we walk out.”

It wasn’t that she was eager to
help me leave, but she seemed to know that it was a foregone conclusion that Rylan
and I wouldn’t make it through this once he realized what he was doing….who I
reminded him of.   I didn’t blame her.  No.  I was grateful she shed some light
on it before I fell even further in love with him.  Yeah, no one needed to know
that little tidbit; especially Rylan and his family. 

“Thanks, Mia.”  I hugged her and
smiled. 

We touched up our makeup and
walked toward the boys.  Rylan stood immediately and I knew he could see my
distress.  Play it cool, girl.

I felt sad…sad for me and for
Rylan.  I couldn’t even begin to have angry feelings for a man that had lost so
much.  He didn’t mean for this to happen.  He was just lost and I filled a huge
whole in his life…in his broken heart because I looked like
her
.   I
wanted to stay and comfort him, but I wasn’t who he needed.  I was a
replacement and I didn’t want that for myself or Rylan.

Leaving him standing there nearly
broke me.  He had no idea that when I said ‘good-bye’ I really meant it. 

After I got home, I packed my
suitcase, made all the arrangements online and drove myself to the airport.  I
needed to get out of town for a while.  I knew Rylan would come looking for me as
soon as Mia talked to him and I just couldn’t look into his beautiful face, full
of sadness and regret and know what I really was to him. 

I had plenty of vacation time to
be gone for weeks since I’d never used any of my days.  When you’re as driven
as I was about establishing a career, you don’t stop and smell the roses.  You
work your ass off and let everyone else vacation.  But, now…..I was fucking
taking them. 

I was just checking my bags when
I got a text.  I knew who it was without looking, but I didn’t answer.  Maybe
he would assume I was asleep.  My stomach ached for what was about to happen. 
Hell, I was still sore from making love to….no fucking….Rylan just a few hours
ago and the thought made me feel nauseous. 

I made my way through security
and felt more relaxed knowing he couldn’t get to me and change my mind.  I was
doing this for both of us.

I worked up the courage to look
at my phone.

Rylan:

Jen.  Please tell me where you are.

I’m sitting outside your door.

Your car is gone and you aren’t

answering.  Please.  I know

why you’re running.  I’m
sorry.

Wow.  I didn’t think I could
actually feel worse.  But, I did and now I knew for sure that leaving was the
right thing.  He knew why I was running and all he could say was ‘I’m sorry.’ 

My phone rang a few times, but I
didn’t answer.  I had nothing to say and I didn’t want to hear anything.  He
was sorry and that was that.  Now that he consciously knew why he sought me
out, he was sorry.

I would call Emily in the
morning…once I landed and I’d give her all the details of my night and like
always, she would understand and go through hell to protect me…Cale too. 
Still, I couldn’t tell them where I was going.  No one could know.   

As I boarded the plane and found
my seat, I closed my eyes and let all the emotions sink in. I’d never feel his
touch again, never kiss his lips again, never hear his voice whisper in my ear
as he made me unravel….and I’d never recover from knowing Rylan Daniels and all
that he meant to me.

I slept from pure exhaustion
until my plane landed.  Grabbing my bags from the carousel, I made my way to
the rental car booth and paid for my car.  I stepped into the glorious tropical
air and inhaled deeply.  I felt a sense of calm wash over my wrecked body
knowing that no one knew where I was. 

I drove to the condo I had
rented…for a small fortune the night before…and just collapsed on the huge four
poster bed.  I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep.  I would get over
Rylan Daniels…eventually.