Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10) (6 page)

“
You
can’t have it both ways,” I tell him with a sigh. “I can’t
‘move on’ but still just sit around waiting for your random booty
calls.”

“
You’re
right. I know you’re right. I can’t give you what you need,
Reina, and I want you to find someone who can. For tonight, just this
one night, will you be mine? Please.”

I
can’t imagine a time when I won’t be his. Even if I can never say
it out loud, I belong to him. Always have, and always will. I can
take this night for myself, though. Take what he’s offering. “Yes.
As long as you belong to me, too. If I catch you in some bathroom
with another woman, I swear to God, I’ll kill you.”

“
I’m
yours, Reina. The night is yours.”

I
don’t kiss him, although I want to. I need to see that he means it
first. Words are pretty, but actions are beautiful. I need some
beauty from him, and then I’ll kiss him—and more. For right now,
I shoo him out of the room and get dressed. The gown fits
perfectly—thanks Stella—and I feel special in it. There’s no
other word I can think of. Just special.

Most
of the night passes in a blur. We get our picture taken by the local
press when we walk in, and Matt leaves me for a moment to go and talk
to them. I’m not sure if he’s asking him to hide the pictures or
make them go viral. I don’t really care. Even if no one else knows
that Matt brought me here, I know, and that’s all that matters.

Once
we’ve dined and danced, Matt leads me back to our limo. It takes us
only a few blocks away to a brick building with a neon sign. I raise
an eyebrow, and he laughs.

“
There’s
no fancy 5 star digs here, Princess. You’re looking at the best I
could find for you.”

My
eyebrow drops along with my mood. Everything was going so well, and
then he had to call me by that stupid nickname, and assume that I
cared about how fancy a hotel room he got us was. I just wanted a
bed. “It’s nice to know that even after the romantic night you
planned for me, your opinion of me is still so low. Am I at least
level with the gutter now?”

“
Rei,
I didn’t mean it like that. Shit.”

I
lunge for the door as soon as the driver opens it, and hold my skirt
up as I sprint inside. I can hear Matt behind me, but I won’t let
him embarrass me any further.

“
Hi,
I need a room,” I tell the woman behind the front desk.

“
No.
We already have a room. It’s under Corrigan.”

“
He
may have a room, but I need one of my own, please.”

“
You
do not need another room, Reina. I know I pissed you off, and I’m
sorry.”

The
woman looks between us and then smiles at me. “I can get you a
room. I just need your credit card and ID.”

Which
are on the plane. Since we’re flying private, I didn’t need them
for the airport. Matt was being so sweet that I didn’t think I’d
need them tonight, either. I should’ve known not to trust him. I
turn and bat my eyes at him, knowing full well it won’t work, but
trying anyway.

“
Matt,
can you please pay for my room? I left my stuff on the plane.”

“
Not
a chance in Hell.”

“
I
seriously hate you sometimes.”

“
I
promise you’ll be loving me again once we get up to the room,” he
says with a smirk.

“
Not
a fucking chance in Hell,” I retort, adding that extra word to make
him know I’m serious.

“
Beggars
can’t be choosers.”

“
I’ll
just sleep on a couch down here. Have a nice night.”

“
You
can’t do that.”

“
Yes,
she can,” the woman behind the desk says, smiling at me.

“
Women.
I don’t even know why I try.”

“
Because
sometimes you actually remember I’m worth it.”

He
closes his eyes and I see his jaw clench. It’s like he’s
physically holding himself back from saying something. After a few
deep breaths, he opens his eyes, and turns to the woman. “Please
check me in. Our bags should’ve been delivered already.”

I
watch as he studiously ignores me, and then just nods at me before
getting on the elevator. I was so excited about spending the night
with him, but now I’m just so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes
open. I make my way to the couch and curl up on one end. My eyes
flutter closed before I can even get comfortable, and I fall asleep.

The
next thing I know, I’m being lifted by a strong pair of arms. I
don’t freak out, because I recognize those arms. I’m not awake
enough to fight him, and honestly, I don’t really want to fight. I
never want to fight with him, but I can’t just sit back and let him
disrespect me. I won’t be a weak, cowering girl ever again.

“
Matt,”
I whisper in to his chest.

“
Yeah,
Rei. I got you.”

“
Why
aren’t you asleep?”

“
You
think I could sleep while you were down here on the couch?”

“
Why
are you so mean to me?”

“
Because
I’m a bastard.”

“
Yeah,
but tonight you’re my bastard.”

“
I
am,” he says with a small laugh as he carries me into the room.

He
sets me on the edge of a bathtub that’s right in the middle of the
floor. I see all of the bubbles and smile. He made me a bath. It’s
then that I notice what he’s wearing. Or rather what he’s not
wearing. He came down to get me in just a pair of blue boxer briefs.

“
Matt!
You came down to get me like that?”

“
What?
My junk is covered,” he says with a smile, before unzipping my
dress.

“
Barely.”

He
just chuckles as he finishes undressing me, and places me in the tub.
“Don’t worry, Rei. Every inch of it belongs to you. So unless
you’re sharing, you really shouldn’t trouble yourself with what
I’m wearing.”

“
That
was the worst rhyme in the history of the written word.”

“
In
case you didn’t know it, I am indeed a poet.”

“
Stop.
Oh my God. Just stop.”

“
If
I didn’t know better, I’d think my rhymes were making you
wetter.”

“
Off
button. Where the hell is your off button?” I ask as he climbs into
the tub with me.

“
I
can’t believe you’re giving me the diss when I just want to give
you some bliss.”

He
lifts me over him and sets me to kneeling over his face, while he
lowers himself so that his mouth is lined right up with my sex. I
should tell him again how lame his rhyming is, but I’m too busy
thinking about what he’s about to do to me.

“
Since
you don’t like my rhymes, I’ll just have to think of something
more fun to do with my tongue.”

* * *

Reina

“Our rooms are very
simple,” Maria tells me as she leads me to mine. She’s the girl I
met earlier. Mother formally introduced us when she called her back
to the office. She told her I came to them for Sanctuary, and she has
granted it to me. It’s somewhat true. Close enough.

“I don’t need
luxury,” I say with a shrug. There’s a twin sized bed with sheets
and a blanket on it. A small dresser, curtains on the window, and a
crucifix on the wall are the only other items in the room.

I set my bag down on
the bed, and have my back to her when she blurts out her next
sentence. “I watched your wedding on television.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I just came
here a couple of months ago. I always knew I would come here, but my
friends had different plans for their life. They’re obsessed with
you and Matt. They think you have the most romantic life. So when it
was announced that your wedding would be broadcast like the royal
weddings from England, they convinced me to watch it with them.”

“Things aren’t
always what they seem on TV, Maria.”

“You’re not wearing
a wedding ring.”

“No. I’m getting
divorced.”

“Is that why you’re
here? Are you going to become a nun after all?”

I smile, because I
honestly did contemplate that on the plane ride. “No. I thought
about it, but I’m no longer cut out for this life. I cannot give my
life to God. There is too much I’ve seen and done, and honestly
still want to do.”

“I can’t imagine
myself being anywhere but here.”

“Which is why you
will make a wonderful nun.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Thank you. I should
get back to work now. I will see you at dinner.”

“You’re welcome,
and yes. See you later.”

After she’s gone, I
walk over to the small window in the room, and peer out from the
side. I know the men who are around the perimeter are watching for
anything unusual. They’re watching for me. The longer I keep my
presence a secret, the better. It will give my friends a chance to
come and protect the women here, and the people of the village.

Yes, I know that they
are coming. I was with the Society for over ten years, and although I
slowed them down, there is no way Ainsley and her team didn’t find
the emails on my computer. I cringe as I think about everyone seeing
my office, but it is what it is. I’m not afraid of my friends
thinking I’m weak—after all, they’ve seen me pining after Matt
for years, and what could be more pathetic than that?

Even though I’m not
sure I still believe, I send another prayer, asking that they make it
here in time to save everyone else. Me? I don’t want to be saved. I
need to save myself this time. I’ve done it during several
missions, but this is more than a mission. What happens here is about
my past, and moving towards my future if I make it out alive. When I
kill him, it will be for me, and only me. It will save others, and
I’m grateful for that, but it’s my demons that I’m hunting
right now.

The glass next to my
face shatters suddenly, and as I flatten myself against the wall, I
know it’s begun. He knows I’m here, and unless I give myself up,
he’ll be coming for me soon. I won’t allow these walls to be
breached by the evil he carries with him, so I’ll be walking out of
here soon. Sooner than I thought, but that can’t be helped.

The bell sounds for
dinner, and I realize that I’ve been lost in my thoughts for longer
than I planned. I change back into my simple dress, debating on how
many weapons to conceal. In the end, I decide against any of them.
I’ll be searched once I’m taken, and giving those men my weapons
will only make them more likely to want to use them on me.

Maria meets me outside
of my room, and we walk to the dining room together. The meal we
share with the other novices is simple, but it’s better than many
of the meals I’ve had in famous restaurants. The tortillas are
fresh, and the rice and beans cooked to perfection. The conversation,
well, that’s pretty much non-existent.

Everyone except for
Maria pretty much ignores me. They introduced themselves, and gave me
small smiles, but right now, they keep their eyes on their food. When
they’re not sneaking glances at me while they think I’m too busy
eating to notice, that is. I understand their trepidation. I’m a
stranger who has invaded their sacred place. A few of them had
shocked expressions when they saw me, so like Maria, they know who I
am. I think that may have scared them even more.

“Reina will be
helping out while she is with us. I will re-assign some chores to her
tomorrow.”

“I won’t be here
tomorrow, Mother.” This isn’t how I wanted to tell her, but time
is running out.

“You are safe here. I
told you, he will not breach our walls.”

“Someone shot out my
window while I was glancing outside. I was in the shadows, and
shouldn’t have been easily seen. He
will
send men to get me. Those who don’t pretend, as he does, to worship
our Lord. Those men will care little about the vows these women have
made. You know there is only one choice for me.”

She sighs. “My
novices must be my priority, but the thought of you willingly giving
yourself to him is like a knife to my heart.”

“We both knew it
would come to that. I have no doubt that my friends are on their way.
They will come here first, looking for me, and some will stay to
protect you.”

“Will your husband
come here? We don’t allow men,” one of the novices reminds me.

“No. Matt will not
come. Some of his friends might, and I don’t want you to be scared
of them; although, they will look and act very scary. Aiden, Nate,
Jake, and possibly Theo will arrive with the women I used to work
with. They can be trusted and will protect you, and this place.”

“Who will protect
you?” Maria asks.

“I will have to
protect myself this time.”

“God will be with
you, Reina. We will pray a rosary for you tonight.”

“Thank you.”

There is no more
talking after that, because really, what is left to say? There is no
other option than for me to walk out of here tonight. These girls
can’t defend themselves, and more importantly, they won’t. They
have pledged their life to God. It is a sacred pledge, stronger than
a marriage bond, and one that demands they follow His law. The irony
of all of this isn’t lost on me. Once I planned to make the same
vow that they are making, and yet instead I chose the other vow. The
one that was recently broken. My husband will not be standing with me
through the bad time I’m about to face. He won’t be there for me
when death comes to take me. This time, in order to protect the
innocent, I’ll have to offer myself to the devil himself, and I
have to do it alone.

* * *

Matt