Loving My SECRET (Corrigan & Co. Book 10) (8 page)

“
Get.
Out.”

“
Again,
I’m going to remind you that I’m in charge of everything that
goes on in this building.”

“
You
wanted to play? Well, how about I end the game now. I quit.”

“
Reina,
no!” Audrey exclaims.

Matt
looks dumbstruck for a moment, and then shrugs. “Make sure to turn
in a formal resignation with HR.”

“
There
will be no resignation,” Jane says from behind me.

I
didn’t know she was here, and from the looks of things, neither did
Matt. He pales a little, and looks scared. “I didn’t think you
were coming in today, Gram.”

“
So
you took the opportunity to harass Reina?”

“
I
was just having some fun.”

“
I
know everything. You both need to remember that. You may not have
told me what happened all those years ago, but I know. I expect both
of you to behave yourselves in public.”

“
There
won’t be any times we’ll see each other in public,” I tell her.

“
Yes,
Reina, there will. I have let you beg off of every event that Matt
would be attending for the past year. I did not train you to be my
successor only to see you cower before a man. Any man, even my
grandson.”

“
Been
avoiding me, Princess? You missed seeing all the fun I had. Those
high society chicks like my dick almost as much as you do.”

“
There
is a special place in Hell reserved for you.”

“
That’s
old news.”

“
Enough!
We’re going to have a meeting in your office, Matthew, since you
can’t even make it past the lobby of mine,” Jane tells him,
before walking past him to the door.

“
Whatever
you want, Gram. Catch you ladies later.”

He
salutes us, and saunters out the door like he doesn’t have a care
in the world. I know that’s not true. He didn’t expect to run the
whole company, but he has no choice. Maybe Jane is finally going to
tell him what we really do, because he’ll need to know eventually,
and then we’ll all co-exist peacefully like the adults we are.
Yeah, right.

“
Wow,
you slept with him, Rei?” Stella asks.

“
When
I was seventeen, and stupid.”

“
I’ve
gotta admit, before he opened his mouth, I was thinking he was hotter
than the pictures I’ve seen of him. Now, I wouldn’t touch him if
he was the last man on earth. Especially if he hurt you.”

“
It
was a long time ago.”

“
Time
doesn’t matter in this case. Tell the other women, Stella. No one
touches Matt Corrigan or lets him touch them,” Audrey says.

“
No,
Aud. If someone wants to go out with him—or just sleep with him—I
won’t stop them.”

“
No
one will want to after I tell them what just went down. Chicks before
dicks all the way.”

I
hug her, and smile. Both for what she said, and also because I just
survived a run-in with Matt. I knew it was inevitable, but I was
afraid I would fall apart. I may go home and eat a couple pints of
ice cream later, but he has no reason to think that. Just like he
doesn’t need to know that I didn’t even kiss the guy I went on a
date with last night. The one who accused me of being hung up on
someone else because I wasn’t into him. I survived, and that’s
all that matters. There is only one other man on this planet that
would be worse for me to see again. I’m never planning to make that
meeting happen.

* * *

Reina

I activated the
portable distress signal I brought with me before I walked outside. I
still don’t trust that the convent will be spared from the man I’m
surrendering myself to, and I need them to have protection. I also
left Mother with a comm unit so she can reach my friends if anything
else happens. Now I’m just waiting to be taken as I stand in the
village square.

I don’t have to wait
long. Four SUVs circle around me as they come to a stop. A young man
steps out of one them with a gun trained on me. Like that would stop
me if I wanted to take him down. He doesn’t need to know that, so I
just raise my hands.

“The boss was right.
You are worth all of this trouble. I can’t wait for my turn with
you.”

I don’t answer,
because what am I going to say? His words aren’t a shock to me. I
knew what would happen, and I’ve already made my peace with what
I’ll be forced to do. None of it will be willingly, but I suppose
that’s even more of a turn on for all of them.

“Not going to talk?
That’s okay. We’ll be hearing enough from you when you’re
begging for mercy.”

He grabs me and pulls
me to the backseat of the car. I don’t fight him, because there’s
really no point. I’m outnumbered, and like I’ve said, I’m
resigned to my fate. My friends will save the convent, and possibly
make it to me before too much is done, but if not, I can die with an
almost clear conscience. I’ll have saved Mother and the girls, if
not myself. My only wish is that I had been stronger after Matt
blindsided me, so that I could’ve said goodbye to the women who
have become so much more than friends to me over the years. I just
hope they realize how much I love them.

When we pull up to the
farm, I see him standing outside waiting for us. For me. He looks
like the cat who swallowed the canary, and I have to fight not to
throw up my meal. Disgust is too soft of a word for what I feel for
this bastard. No one but me knows that I’ve been systematically
undermining him from the inside for years. There are people on my
payroll who are standing with him, but I’ve instructed them not to
intervene. Their job is to eventually take down this man so that more
girls can be saved, and their payments will last long after I’m
dead at his hands.

“Reina, welcome home.
You’re looking even better than you did when we first met all those
years ago. Marrying one of the richest men in the world obviously
agrees with you.”

“You know I’m
married, and yet you did this? Forced me to come here? My absence
will not go unnoticed.”

“No, but by the time
you are found, your husband won’t want what’s left of you.”

My husband doesn’t
want me now, but I’m not going to tell him that. “You’ll leave
the convent alone now?”

“I was never going to
harm anyone in the convent. I am a very religious man,” he says,
looking affronted.

“Very religious men
do not rape and traffic young women. Or kidnap older women.”

The slap comes before
I’m ready and my head snaps sideways. I can taste blood in my
mouth, but I don’t care. I may be forced to have sex with this man
and his workers at some point, but I will never willingly submit, or
pretend that this is something it’s not. I wipe my hand across my
mouth, and stand up straight once again.

“I’ll enjoy that
fire when I have you in bed later, but it has no place in polite
conversation. You will now be taken upstairs so that you can properly
dress for dinner.”

“I’ve already eaten
dinner.”

“Well, you will now
have a second one. Don’t worry, you’ll be working off all the
calories in the coming days.”

He nods, and the two
men are suddenly at my side. The one from before places his hand on
my back and pushes me forward. “Time to change. I’m going to
enjoy the show.”

“No touching her,”
my captor reminds him.

“I’ll be waiting
for my turn,” he replies out loud and then bends to whisper in my
ear. “I like it very rough, and I can’t wait to try out all of my
toys on you.”

“If you’re trying
to scare me, you’ll have to do better than that,” I tell him as
we walk up a set of stairs.

He starts to raise his
hand, but I remind him that he can’t touch me. “Yet. I can’t
touch you
yet
, but I
can guarantee that you’ll be paying for that comment. You’ll look
so good with my marks all over you.”

I don’t say another
word, and he laughs, thinking I’m afraid of him. I’m not. I’ve
been punched, kicked, stabbed, and even shot by men far worse than
him. His promises of pain don’t faze me. The rapes—yes, those
make me want to fight, and run, but I know I can’t. Too many other
lives are at stake. All I can be grateful for at the moment is that I
just got a new birth control shot from Audrey last week. I want a
child, but only with the one man who will never want one with me.

When I walk inside the
room I’m taken to, I see three things. A giant canopied bed,
because yeah, this will be so romantic. Two nervous looking women who
are obviously here to make me look presentable. And a blue sequined
dress that would put any Vegas showgirl to shame. Seriously? The
strapless number looks like one giant sequin, and I’m actually glad
to see it. If he was putting me in something I’d choose for myself,
it would make things even harder.

“Time to change,”
the asshole tells me with a smirk.

The women look scared,
so I smile at them as I remove my boots, shirt and pants. I’m left
in my cotton boy shorts and bra. I unhook the bra, because it’s not
going to work with the dress, and I have a feeling that if I don’t
look “perfect” these two will be punished.

“Turn around, and let
me see.”

“Make me.”

“I’ll shoot one of
them if you don’t.”

I see the woman on my
right start to shake, and I know without looking that she’s got a
gun pointed at her. Motherfucking bastard. I turn and wave my hands
at the girls. “Happy?”

“For the moment. Pity
that they’ll be covered up for dinner.”

The implied threat is
there, and I know it’s real. I have no doubt that all of me will be
on display for every person on this farm at some point. I can’t
hold out hope that my friends will get here before that happens. I
need to focus on surviving, and not hoping for an outcome that can’t
be guaranteed.

One of the women slips
the dress over my head as I hold my arms up for her. On the hanger, I
didn’t notice the high slit, but I can’t help but see it now.
Most of my left leg is uncovered, and for some reason, that bothers
me more than when I was standing here almost naked. I don’t know
why, but it does.

Once my hair and makeup
have been taken care of, I’m given a pair of sparkly flats to slide
on. I guess he realized that spiky heels aren’t a good idea for a
prisoner. I hope some other chick stabbed him at least once;
although, I doubt he goes to all this trouble for every girl he
kidnaps.

“Ah, Reina, I knew
that dress would be perfect for you,” he says when I’m walked
into the small dining room.

This whole place is
fairly small, and I know it’s because he wanted to blend in with
the village, and not because he likes it. His compound—the one I
was taken to as a girl—was grand and ostentatious. While this
dining room has a table that can seat six, his other one could seat
at least thirty. He could’ve had me taken there, but he didn’t. I
know from the people on my payroll that he hasn’t brought any other
women here before. Lucky me.

When I don’t answer,
he nods towards the chair at the other end of the table, and I sit.
“Did you see our bed? It is romantic, no? I cannot wait to have you
writhing in pleasure on it.”

“I’m not going to
enjoy you raping me,” I tell him.

“Rape is such an
angry word, and I assure you that I am as interested in you enjoying
yourself as I am in finding my own pleasure from your beautiful
body.”

“You really expect me
to believe that?”

“No. I guess you
wouldn’t after the crass things I said to you all those years ago.
And honestly, with most women, I would not care. You, Reina, are
different. You are the one I have been waiting over a decade for.
You’re a special present I want to unwrap over and over again.
Unfortunately, I promised my most trusted men that I would share you
tonight, so I’ll have to make our one time count.”

What is there to say
after something like that? The man in not only egotistical, he’s
insane as well. How he thinks I will ever find pleasure from being
forced to have sex is beyond me. I know it’s a kink for some
people, but I am definitely not one of them.

I eat the dinner that’s
placed in front of me, and drink the wine. It could be drugged, but
I’m thinking that wouldn’t be such a bad thing in this situation.
The less I feel—or remember—the better. I also take my time
chewing every bite, hoping to prolong the inevitable. I may be
resigned to my fate, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it.

“I think you have had
enough to eat. Let us get on with our entertainment for the night,”
he finally tells me once half my food is gone.

I put down my fork and
dab at my mouth. He walks around to my end of the table, and holds
out his hand. I shake my head and glare at him. I am not holding his
hand. He can romanticize what’s about to happen all he wants, but
it will never be romantic for me. After a moment, he drops the hand
and just gestures for me to walk ahead of him. I stand and start
walking, using the meditation techniques I’ve studied to clear my
mind, and allow myself to be present while effectively checking out
of the situation. I will not break in front of this man, or anyone
else he gives me to. I might be dying inside, but I will never let it
show. I can’t.

Reina,

I can’t believe
what you did for me today. And now as I look down at you afterwards,
and see what I’ve done to you, I want to throw up. Your face looks
so peaceful, but when I pull the sheet back, I can see the bruises on
your wrists, your hips, and your ass cheeks. I know if I turn you
over, your breasts and ribs will have bruises as well. You let me
hurt you, and take from you, and what have I given you in return? A
few orgasms that you probably could’ve gotten from someone else who
would be kinder to you, and not made you feel like you’re less than
perfect. You ARE perfect Reina. There is no one like you, and even
though I can only show that to you when I’m vulnerable, I feel it
always. When I see you smile at something one of the girls tells you,
when you light up the room just by walking into it, when you’re
kicking someone’s ass without breaking a sweat, and mostly when
you’re kissing me like I’m the only man you’ll ever want. I’ve
got to stop taking from you, though. No matter how many times we make
love—and know that it is making love to me—I will never give you
anything else. I yearn to, but I can’t. Tonight is a perfect
example of how twisted I am, and I need to make sure your memories of
me fade like the bruises on your body will. I won’t be here when
you wake up, and God help me, I hope it hurts you enough to finally
push me away and mean it. You save me every day, just by being you,
and yet, I know I can never save you, even if I want to.