Loving Summer (Loving Summer Series) (13 page)

            Aunt Sookie winces. “Your mother took an overdose of sleeping pills. She’s in the hospital.”

            “In the hospital? Sleeping pills?” Rachel sounds like she doesn’t understand any of it. I put an arm around her, trying to comfort her even though I don’t understand it any better than she does.

            “How could that happen,” Rachel demands.

            Aunt Sookie looks pointedly at Ryan. “I really don’t think…”

            “
How?”

           
“They think she took them deliberately, Rachel,” Aunt Sookie says gently. “They think that your mother was trying to kill herself.”

Chapter
15

R
achel stands there for several seconds. Then she just screams and rushes forward, knocking a whole pile of barbeque things to the ground. I’ve never seen her that upset before. I start to go to her, but Ryan beats me to it. Rachel looks like she might spin around and hit him, but Ryan pulls her close and leads her away towards the house, talking softly.

            That leaves Drew and Nat. Drew’s expression is grim, so hard and set I know that there has to be far more going on under the surface. Nat looks worse though. His skin is ashen, and he looks like he can barely stand up. I go to him without thinking, wrapping my arms around him even though Drew looks at me like he can’t believe I’m doing it. Aunt Sookie moves to hug him, squeezing him tightly while I hold onto Nat. I guess in that moment, we all need some comfort.

            “I have to go to her,” Nat whispers, sharply and suddenly. “I should never have come here. She needs me back there.”

            He pulls back from me, rushing towards the house. I follow as he heads upstairs to the room he’s sharing with Drew and pulls out a bag, starting to throw things into it.

            “Nat, what are you doing?”

            “Packing. I have to go. I have to get back there.”

            I think I understand. I reach out for his shoulder. “Nat, I’m so sorry. I know how much your mom means to you. If there’s anything I can do…”

            Nat looks at me. He looks shocked, and worse. He looks like he’s on the brink of breaking down completely. “Summer, don’t you see? Mom sent us here so that she could do this. All that time I thought that she was trying to give us some space away from the divorce… she was going to do this.”

            He sits down on the bed, his head in his hands. I sit beside him, holding onto him.

            “You don’t know that for sure, Nat,” I say. “And the important thing is that she didn’t succeed. Your dad found her in time. She’s going to be fine.”

            Nat’s head is still in his hands, and as I gently peel his hands away from his face, I can see the tears streaming from his eyes. Nat is crying, making no attempt to disguise it, his eyes red from it.

            “This is my fault, Summer.”

            “No,” I say, “it isn’t.”

            “I should have told her earlier about Dad, so maybe they could have worked it out. Or I should have just not told her at all, because then it wouldn’t have hurt her. I could have talked to Dad, confronted him. I could have gotten him to stop seeing that… that
slut
secretary of his…”

            “Nat,” I say gently, “this isn’t helping, and it’s not your fault. Don’t even blame yourself for this. Your mother is a grown woman. She knew what she was doing. Your father, too. It’s not up to you what happens between them.”

            I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s so hurt right now. So vulnerable. I hold him tightly, wishing that I could take away some of that pain, and his arms tighten around me. Then he’s kissing me, quickly, almost furiously, like it’s the most natural thing for us to do, and I kiss him back the same way, fueled by all the hurt and pain he’s going through. I don’t know how long we spend wrapped around each other, his lips kissing every square inch of my face until both his hands are holding my face, and he has his lips on mine, still filled with passion. It just seems to make sense in that moment, the raw emotion of everything we feel coming out like that. And not just the emotion of this moment. It’s the emotion of all those moments we’ve had to bottle up something we’ve felt about one another, coming out in a tidal wave that sweeps us along as we kiss for a long time.

            When we pull apart, Nat still has my face in his hands. “You’ve always been my summer.” His fingers caress my face, making me look at him with longing. I shake my head to clear it. Why does Nat still have that effect on me?

            “Nat,” I begin, “I…”

            Nat lets go of me. “Don’t say it. Whatever it is, please don’t say it. I don’t know what just happened, and I’m glad it did, but… now is just the worst time for it to happen.”

            I stare at him, trying to make sense of it. “What? Why?”

            Nat shakes his head. “Because I still have to leave here, Summer.”

            I pause, looking at the bag he’s started to pack and feeling guilty that I’d forgotten. Feeling guilty for having kissed him like that too, when his mom…

            “I have to go back to San Francisco,” he says. “My mom needs me there.”

            “Nat…” I begin, trying to think of a way to talk him out of this. It feels like he’s blaming himself for all this when he shouldn’t. He can’t.

            “I’m the eldest,” Nat says, “so I should have been watching out for her. I should have known Mom might try this. Look, don’t tell the twins this, okay?”

            “Tell them what?”

            Nat looks down. “Mom has been depressed for a while now. She suffers bouts of it, and she’s been on medication to try to help. But it obviously hasn’t… oh, I should have been there.”

            “You couldn’t have known,” I say.

            “I could have,” Nat insists. “I should have. And Dad… he’s been such an ass about this whole thing. It’s like he couldn’t care less about Mom or any of us.”

            “I can come with you to San Francisco.” I say it before I can stop myself. Nat needs me, and I need him right then. After everything he’s told me, I don’t just want to let him go. “I don’t want you to handle this alone.”

            “No, Summer,” Nat says. He holds me again briefly, and it’s such a gentle, fleeting touch. “I can’t deal with you there while I’m having to deal with my mother and father, their nasty divorce, having to deal with the details of Mom’s care. I know I’ve told you that I have feelings for you, and I do, but this… I have to focus on this right now. I don’t think I’d be able to do that if you were there. Not the way I should.”

            “So I’d just be a distraction?” I say.

            “Don’t be angry,” Nat says. “I’m just trying to do what’s right here, Summer. Anyway, you have your aunt to worry about, with her condition.”

            “It isn’t as serious as what your mom’s going through.”

            “But she still needs you,” Nat insists, with a serious expression that tells me I’m not going to win this argument. He stands up, heading for his bag. “I’m sorry, Summer.”

            My heart falls, and I can hear it shatter. Rejected by him again. It doesn’t help that I can understand why he’s done it. It just hurts that he has. “All right, Nat. I hope you’ll be okay.”

            I walk out of there before Nat can see just how hurt I am. This isn’t about me. This is about his mom. I walk out of there so fast I don’t even see Drew until I walk straight into him. He catches hold of me, steadying me and folding me into his arms.

            “Whoa, Summer,” he says, brushing away tears I hadn’t known had fallen from my eyes. “It’s going to be okay. Mom’s going to be fine. Your mom is going over to San Francisco now to be there. Aunt Sookie would have gone too, but with her being unwell…”

            No, it makes sense that my mom should go. “Nat’s going too,” I manage to say. “Are you? I mean, I know you must want to.”

            Drew’s worried expression is back. “I should, but I think someone should stay here too. I’m worried about Sookie. She still isn’t looking too good, and everyone else is going to San Francisco, so maybe I should stay.”

            “Everyone is going?” I ask.

            Drew nods. “Rachel calmed down after a while, and she’s going to head out with Nat. Ryan’s going too, which is kind of good of him.” Drew sounds surprised by that. I guess the boy who slept with his sister is turning out to be a lot better person than he expected. “I don’t want to leave Sookie alone.”

            “I’ll still be here,” I say.

            “Then I don’t want you and Sookie left here with no one else,” Drew replies. He sighs. “I want to see Mom, but she has so many people going there to be with her, and I’m not even sure what I would say. I think I’m better staying here with the two of you. Here… well, I can be whatever you need.”

            He holds me tight then, pressing me against the strong expanse of his chest. His hand strokes the back of my hair as he holds me, and though it probably looks like he’s comforting me, I guess that Drew is getting as much comfort out of this as I am. At least until Nat walks out of his room, his bag in his hand.

            I pull back from Drew instinctively, looking from him to Nat. I can feel the tension there, and maybe the anger, but neither of them says anything about it. I guess it isn’t the thing that’s uppermost in their minds right then.

            “Take care of Summer and Sookie, bro,” Nat says after a second or two. It’s so coldly practical, like the way he pushed me away from him. “I have to go. Mom will expect it.”

            “Is your flight booked?” Drew asks. Obviously, they’re trying to do the guy thing of not showing how they feel.

            Nat nods. “I phoned Dad and he’s sending the company’s private jet. He told the Board that it was an emergency, apparently.” I see his jaw clench for a moment or two. “It takes Mom trying to kill herself before he thinks of any of us as an emergency.”

            “Rachel and Ryan are both going too,” Drew says.

            “Both of them?”

            Drew nods. “I think Ryan drove her to his place so he could grab some things, but if you text Rachel and let her know to meet you at the air field, they can go there. Summer’s mom is going to meet you and fly out too. You know how close she, Sookie and Mom are.”

“I’ll call Mom to let her know where to meet you, Nat,” I say, realizing that I should be trying to help here.  “Unless you want to wait here for her and go together?  Drew and I can take you and Mom there.”

            Nat’s eyes rove over me for several seconds before he looks at Drew. He seems to relax a little. Just a little, but it’s enough. “All right.”

            I walk past him to get my phone, fetching it from my room and keeping an eye on the two boys while I do it. Nat is trying to be so strong standing there. So strong that it makes him seem almost hard and cold. Especially with the way he refused to let me follow him to San Francisco. Drew is all passion and feeling, looking over at me while I make the call to my mom to tell her where to meet us. Even now, with everything that’s going on, he isn’t able to disguise the way he looks at me.

            Why should I care? Why should it matter to me that either of them wants me? I’m with Astor. I’m
happy
with Astor. That should be enough for me, yet I can’t stop myself from thinking about them. Astor is a long way away, while Nat and Drew are here now, and they are both enough to make my heart beat faster. Of course, soon, Nat won’t be here. It will just be me, Drew and Aunt Sookie in the house.

Chapter
16

T
he next few days without Rachel and Nat in the house seem strange. I’ve gotten used to them being there, like we’re all one big family. The thought of them having to leave because of problems with their real family feels surreal, like it shouldn’t be happening. Of course, it shouldn’t. None of them should have to deal with all the things they’re dealing with right now.

            I get texts from Rachel pretty regularly, telling me how things are going. She’s upset by it all, but I notice how much she mentions Ryan too. He’s always taking her off to the movies, or out for a walk, or something else that manages to distract her from the worst of it. She doesn’t talk much about her mom, or about Nat, though. That kind of worries me a little. Are things that bad with them?

            I’d kind of expected Drew to be more withdrawn without the others there, especially given the whole situation. Yet somehow, he’s the total opposite. The morning after his brother and sister leave, he goes running with me as usual, up the beach and back again. Then he makes breakfast, being sure it fits in with Aunt Sookie’s new diet.

            It’s hard adjusting to my aunt’s situation. She’s obviously worried about Mrs. Donovan, who’s her friend, and I think she blames herself a little for not talking her into going away with them. At the same time though, she has her own health to think about, getting the balance of her diet and her life right so that she can control her condition. It looks like the operation might have worked, but Aunt Sookie is still careful about what she does. More careful than I’ve ever seen her, in fact. It’s like the combination of her illness and hearing about Mrs. Donovan has scared her away from living life the way she always used to.

            Drew seems to be making such an effort with Aunt Sookie. He helps me to take some of her classes at her academy, but he’s also there to help her get back into teaching her own classes, and his cooking repertoire quickly expands to take in the restrictions of Aunt Sookie’s diet. It’s like the fact that he can’t go to be with his mom has somehow spurred him on to be even more responsible here.

            Not that it’s all about responsibility with Drew. He still runs with me, and he spends most of the rest of the time with me too. With Astor away filming, and both Rachel and Nat gone for now, there’s really only the two of us. So we quickly become inseparable. Whatever I’m doing, whether it’s helping Aunt Sookie, going to the library, heading down to the store or just watching TV, Drew’s there making me smile. He’s always there to play games with me, or to chase me down the beach laughing, or to bring me a flower from some new hidden spot he has found, which he then goes on to show me. It’s like he can’t bear for me to be unhappy.