Loving Summer (Loving Summer Series) (15 page)

            Nat can’t go on treating Summer the way he has been, either. In fact, just the thought of it makes anger bubble up in me again, so that once she’s disappeared into the school, I hang around in the parking lot so that I have the time to take out my phone and call Nat. He answers quickly.

            “Drew? If you’re calling for another update about Mom, I don’t have much else to tell you. Everything’s the way it was yesterday. Oh, and Rachel has gone out with Ryan and Dad. I think he wants to know what kind of boy is hanging around with his daughter. It’s nice to know he can take an interest
some
of the time.”

            I start to agree with him, but stop myself. This isn’t about Rachel, and it isn’t about our father. “Nat,” I say, “I want to talk to you about Summer.”

            “What about her?” I can hear the change in Nat’s tone instantly, like he’s wary; worried about what I might say. I guess he has a reason to be right now.

            “What about her?” I say, echoing him. “Nat, you need to stop playing games with her. You really upset her earlier.”

            “I didn’t mean to,” Nat replies, “but what am I supposed to do?”

            “That’s simple. You should stop messing her around. You know that she’s loved you practically forever. If you love her, then say it to her. Be with her. If not, you need to stop stringing her along with this idea that you might love her one day, or that it’s just the circumstances that are making things difficult.”

            “Because
you
know so much about relationships,” Nat shoots back. I slam my hand into the dashboard hard.

            “This isn’t about me, Nat. This is about what you’re doing to Summer. If you don’t want her; if you can’t be with her, just say it. Say it and let her go. Stop hurting her by never making things final.”

            There’s a pause, and when Nat speaks again, his voice is hurt. “I want to. I want things to be that simple, but I can’t just let her go. I
can’t
. She brings back every good memory I’ve ever had. She’s all those summers we had together. And now… well, just being around her makes things better.”

            “I know that,” I say. How can he think I don’t know that? I see it every time Summer walks into a room. I
feel
it every time she’s close. “You think I don’t feel exactly the same way? The difference is that she actually wants you. She’s wanted you since we were just kids, and yet you keep trampling on her feelings. It isn’t fair for her, Nat.”

            “You think it would be fair to get her caught up in everything that’s going on right now instead, especially when she has enough she has to deal with?” Nat demands, raising his voice slightly. “Oh, it’s always so easy for you, isn’t it? You
and
Rachel. You two aren’t the ones Dad puts so much pressure on to take over his company when he’s ready to retire. You aren’t the one Mom relies on to do all the things that Dad is meant to be doing. You aren’t the ones who have to make sure that everything turns out okay with her. I mean, you didn’t even come back here.”

            I bite back my anger for a moment or two, remembering that this isn’t about me. “That still doesn’t give you the right to make things harder for Summer, Nat. It doesn’t let you mess her around.”

            Nat doesn’t say anything for several seconds. In fact, by the time he speaks again, I’ve started to think that he might have hung up.

            “Okay,” he says, “you’re right. I shouldn’t go back and forth with Summer. I shouldn’t get her hopes up when right now, I can’t even let myself think about her. It’s over with her. I’m not going to try to hold her back. I guess that makes you happy, Drew?”

            I can hear the resentment there. He knows that without him in the way, I’m going to try to get closer to Summer, and I can’t exactly deny it, because it’s true.

            “It must be easy, not having any responsibilities,” Nat says suddenly.

            That’s enough to make me react. “Nat, I’m planning to go back to help with Mom as soon as I can. You know that I stayed here so that I could help Sookie keep her school running while she’s sick. As for the hard time that you’re constantly talking about Dad giving you, remember that he’s pretty hard on me too.”

            “Hard? You’ve always been his favorite. The big football star.”

            “And football is
his
dream for me, not mine. You’ve seen all the time I have to put into training because he has some crazy idea about me playing in the NFL. Okay, so I like to play a little, but he’s the reason I have to take it seriously. So don’t try to tell me that you’re the only one he puts pressure on.”

            At that moment, Summer steps out of the school, standing lit by the glow of the acting academy’s doorway in the pale sundress she changed into after our run. I can see the outline of her body in her barely there dress, and every part of me wants her then. She looks… incredible. It’s hard not to just hang up and go running over there to snatch her into my arms. Instead, I have to keep talking to my brother.

            “You’re sure about Summer?” I ask him. I don’t want Nat turning around and changing his mind a week from now. That would only hurt Summer more. Not to mention what it would do to any chance I have with her. I can compete with a lot of things, but a whole lifetime’s worth of crush isn’t one of them. I want this
clear
.

            Nat hesitates again, and in that hesitation, I watch Summer. For a second or two she’s standing there, talking to someone inside, laughing at something. She’s beautiful when she laughs. The whole world is beautiful when she laughs, like it’s a better place just because she’s happy. Maybe it even is. Finally, though, Nat speaks.

            “I can’t handle a relationship with any girl right now, let alone a long distance one.”

            That’s what I was hoping to hear. Okay, so I feel a little bad for Nat, but he’s had his chance with Summer. In fact, he’s had plenty of chances. He could have said yes to her at any point since we were kids, and they would have been together. He could have said yes to her after we showed up here in Malibu, and again, instant happy ever after. He didn’t. Instead, he chose to jerk Summer’s feelings around and never deal with anything. Now it’s my turn.

            “Well,” I say, “I guess that’s the closest thing I’m going to get to your blessing, right Nat?”

            He starts to say something but I hang up. Right then, I’m not interested in my brother. I’m interested in Summer, and she’s heading my way.

Chapter
18

Summer

D
rew is surprisingly kind for the next day or so. It’s not just the things he does, because he has dinner waiting for me and Aunt Sookie most nights, and he goes running with me as usual in the morning. It’s more the way he does them, like he’s making a special effort to be attentive. He even drives me and Aunt Sookie back from her academy after work the next day, and heads over to the local supermarket with us to pick up groceries.

            He cooks dinner, while somehow managing to keep up a simultaneous three-way game of poker with me and Aunt Sookie, who is winning easily. When I ask her how, she smiles.

            “I got a lot of practice in when I was in Vegas in my twenties.”

            “What were you doing in Vegas?”

            Aunt Sookie shakes her head. “Let’s just say that things got a little wild and leave it at that, yes?”

            That sounds like the kind of story Drew and I are going to have to get out of her over the next hour or two. It’s strange to think sometimes that Aunt Sookie is only in her thirties. She’s done so much, and seen so much, that it’s like she’s lived twice that long in terms of her experiences. Or maybe it’s just that she seems older right now. I’m starting to think that her operation hasn’t helped as much as the doctors thought it might. She’s looking drawn tonight. Almost grey. Maybe she went back to work a little soon.

            “I’m just going to go lie down,” she says, almost as soon as we’re done eating. “It’s been a long day.”

            It makes me cry to see my aunt like that. She’s so young, and she should be so full of life, yet it seems that her condition has just sucked that life right out of her. I feel Drew’s arm around me as he takes me through to the lounge, sitting me down on the sofa and holding me, just letting me cry.

            “It’s going to be all right, Summer.”

            I cling onto him there, and he gently brushes away my tears with his thumb. That same thumb brushes my lips and I taste the saltiness of my tears, then look up at him, knowing what I want from him in that moment. He’s just inches away from me. Close enough that we could easily…

            My phone goes off, and I start, pulling back from Drew as I realize what I almost did just then. I answer my phone, and a quick wave of guilt bursts through me, because it’s Astor. Astor, who’s meant to be my boyfriend. Astor, about whom I should be thinking constantly.

            Astor, who has just spent most of the last few weeks kissing Lindsay New.

            “Astor?”

            “Summer, it’s good to hear your voice. Listen, I’m not far away. I just wanted to check that you were home.”

            “Yes. Yes, I am.” I can hear the happiness in my own voice as I say that. Astor is coming here. He’s back.

            “Then I’ll be there in just a few minutes. I can’t wait to see you.”

            “Me too.”

            “I have things I want to tell you, too.”

            He leaves it at that, and my heart leaps at the thought of him coming here. He’s been so busy that I’ve barely heard from him when I haven’t actually been in North Carolina with him. Just a few texts to tell me how much he’s missing me, and how he hopes to see me again soon.

            I look over at Drew, who’s still sitting near me on the couch. He doesn’t look happy. I can guess why. We were so close to taking things further. To being far more than just friends. I think… I think I might even have slept with him, if Astor hadn’t interrupted. Yet now, looking at it with Astor on his way, I’m not sure that I want us to be more than friends. Which is a problem, because Drew has openly told me that he can’t just be friends with me.

            “That was Astor,” I say.

            Drew takes a deep breath. “I heard. Summer…”

            “He said that he has something to tell me,” I continue, cutting Drew off. I don’t want to give him the chance to have this argument.

            “Do you know what he wants to tell you?” Drew asks. He looks like he wants to say far more, but he’s obviously guessed that I’m not going to let him go there.

            I shrug, and try to ignore the way Drew watches my body moving as I do it. “I haven’t even heard from Astor in days, Drew. It could be anything.”

            I stand, but Drew stands with me, reaching out to grip my upper arms so that I’m forced to look at him.

            “Summer, I’ve been wanting to tell you something too. For a long time. I figured I finally could now that Nat isn’t…”

            “Nat isn’t what?” I ask. “Drew, what does any of this have to do with Nat?”

            Drew shakes his head. “Look Summer. I know how you feel about Nat. We all do.  You’ve been feeling that way for him for years, and I know part of you still feels that way, but Nat… Nat can’t handle a relationship with anyone right now. It just isn’t going to happen. You have to move on.”

            “Nat told you that?” I ask.

            Drew nods. “I know my brother too. I know what he’s going through, and he’s trying for a complete break from everything here. You’re just going to make yourself unhappy if you keep going after him. Whereas for me… well, you’ve always been the girl for me, Summer.”

            I blink as he says that. I know he means it. He’s said it before, but I thought we’d dealt with it. “Drew, that isn’t going to happen. We’re friends. I hope we’ll stay friends, but I can’t be more than that for you. Rachel would kill us, for one thing.”

            “This has nothing to do with Rachel,” Drew says, his expression growing more serious. “All this summer, with you around, it has been the best time of my life. I’ve changed because of it. I’m not running around after girls like I was, because every time I touch one, I find myself thinking of you, and how meaningless anything with any girl who
isn’t
you is. Yes, we’re friends, but that just makes it worse, because it means we’re that much closer. You’re even closer to me than my sister, these days. That has to count for…”

            The doorbell rings, and I’m so grateful for it as I rush over to the door. At the same time Aunt Sookie calls out from the bedroom, asking for water. Drew hurries into the kitchen for it, while I go to the door to let Astor in.

            He’s standing there with a big bouquet of roses in his hand, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt featuring some band whose “world tour” doesn’t seem to have gotten further than North Carolina. He looks amazing, with his short blonde hair seeming to glow in the sun, and his smile cutting right through to my heart. He steps inside, puts the flowers down and pulls me into a lingering kiss, all in one movement. He kisses me like a starving man, and it’s a long time before we come up for air.

            “Summer,” Astor says, holding me at arm’s length so that he can look at me. “God, I’ve missed you. Your touch, everything…”

            I smile back at him. “I’ve missed you too, but why rush over here like this? I could have met you at the airport.”

            He kisses me again then. “I wanted it to be at least a little bit of a surprise.” He looks a little more serious then. “Besides, with how sick your aunt is, and how much you’ve been doing, I thought that someone should be here to take care of
you
.”

            I have to admit that sounds good. “Doesn’t this mean you’re missing shooting time?”